Every September, fashion lovers from all over the world descend on New York City to take in all the fashions from the runways to the streets. The city is transformed into a fashion mecca, with shows, parties, and events taking place all over town. Fashionistas can see the latest trends from top designers, and street-style photographers capture the best looks from the city's most stylish residents and transplants. It's a week of non-stop fashion, and it's a must-see for any fashion lover.
This fashion week definitely hit different for me. It felt heavier and not as fun as it used to be. One day, once I’ve processed everything with my therapist, I’ll be able to talk about the psychological Olympics that overwhelm me, from what to wear to not being accepted by certain groups — it’s just so much. And we don’t talk about what it does to your mental. I’m definitely living in the BOTH/AND space — it felt grueling, and I felt blessed. So let’s run back my week so you can see what it’s like to be a fashion writer during New York Fashion Week.
Day 1
Harlem Fashion Row celebrated its 16th year by hosting the Style Awards at the Apollo Theater. Kelly Rowland, Wayman and Micah, Gabriela Karefa-Johnson, Stella Jean, Johnny Nunez, and A$AP Rocky were among the honorees. Megan Renee, Nicole Benefiled Portfolio, and A. Potts showed off some head-turning designs. The show concluded with a tribute to hip-hop by Doug E. Fresh.
Fit Check — I opted for an all-black look comprised of a bralette, voluminous tulle skirt, combat boots, and bedazzled NY fitted cap. I wanted to give rose in Harlem.
Day 2
When I received the Hanifa presentation invitation, my life was made. For me, Hanifa has always been a showstopper with its inclusive designs and larger-than-life collections. Not to mention, the designer, Anifa, is proof of what resilience looks like. From being the first designer to put on a virtual fashion show during the pandemic to creating another collection after just giving birth. The event brought out some of our favorite fashion girlies like Serayah, Maiya the Don, and Aaliyah Jay. The playlist was lit, the drinks were hitting, and the looks were looking.
Photo courtesy of Joce Blake
Fit Check: Since I love a Hanifa piece, I just had to remix one of my favorite skirts of all time. I coupled a daring knitted top with a Hanifa maxi skirt and accessorized with a matching knit bag. To stay comfy, I kicked back in orange Nike Dunks.
Day 3
On the third day, I pulled up to the Miss Circle NYFW Kickoff Party. Miss Circle CEO Isabel Deng expressed her excitement about hosting the event again to kick off New York Fashion Week in a press release. She said that Miss Circle is deeply intertwined with the New York fashion scene because their flagship store is located in the heart of Soho. She added that the evening is their way of celebrating this New York moment with their devoted fans and the local community. And while this isn’t a Black-owned brand, the melanin was all over. Riley Burruss, Ciara Miller, Sofi The Oddity, and Tarah Lynn were just some of the fashion lovers who arrived in style.
Photo courtesy of Joce Blake
Fit Check: I donned a black and gold top complete with sequin and fringe that perfectly paired with my golden bottoms from Char Workroom. It was really the golden cowboy boots that sealed the deal.
Day 4
Day 4 was a doozy. First up, I stopped by the Cinq à Sept presentation set against New York’s stunning skyline. The Cinq à Sept Spring 2024 Collection is inspired by Old Hollywood glamour and the Côte d’Azur. It is sophisticated, romantic, and celebratory. The collection embodies a sense of slowing down and new beginnings.
After that, I went to Kate Spade at The Standard High Line, where the colors and patterns were on full display. I was in heaven, surrounded by polka dots and sequins. The presentation was filled with vibrant and eye-catching clothing and accessories. I could have spent hours browsing the clothes, but I eventually had to tear myself away and head to the Raise Fashion Collective at The Standard Hotel.
Specifically, I wanted to support one of my favorite brands, CISE, because “Protect Black Women” is forever the motto. One of the advantages of attending fashion showcases is that I have the opportunity to see new brands like Concept 26, a jewelry collection created by Shari Smith; she birthed it to accompany women's life journeys and enhance their confidence. Or Vontélle Eyewear, founded by Tracy Green & Nancey Harris, to meet the demand for vibrant color and patterns and better fitting eyewear. It’s all about fit, fashion, and functionality.
Up next, the Kensington Grey Brunch filled me up as Black creators took over Neuhouse to talk all things fashion and creation. Their annual NYFW event was a conversation with American Fashion Designer Dapper Dan, Ami Colé Founder and CEO Diarrha N'Diaye-Mbaye, Topicals Founder and CEO Olamide Olowe, Jeneé Naylor, Kia Marie, Karen Blanchard, and Kensington Grey Founder and CEO Shannae Ingleton Smith. The event was held to discuss the intersection of fashion, entrepreneurship, and brand strategy.
(L-R) Olamide Olowe, Diarrha Ndiaye and Jenee Naylor
Photo courtesy of Kensington Grey
The panelists discussed their experiences as Black entrepreneurs in the fashion industry and how they are using their platforms to promote diversity and inclusion. They also spoke about the importance of using fashion as a tool for social change.
It’s not NYFW if I don’t hit up the Essence Fashion House. This year’s theme: WHERE BLACK CREATIVITY REDEFINES FASHION. This event celebrated Black culture and fashion, providing tools for Black-owned brands and creatives to thrive. Attendees gathered to learn, be celebrated, and be inspired.
The lineup included:
- Hip Hop, “Haute” Sh*t, & Heritage: The Best of Bed Fellows
- Navigating Mental Health And Wellness Behind The Scenes In Fashion
- What is Sustainability in Black Fashion
- African Fashion and Garments
- Are Black People Buying Black Luxury
- SOKO MRKT, a retail pop-up of emerging & established Black designers
Fit Check: This look was sponsored by my mama. *cues On My Mama* My mom thrifted an amazing black and white polka dot shacket that I decided to pair with wide-leg camo pants that I stole from her closet. I accessorized with an edgy basketball purse.
Day 5
At this point, I wasn’t sure what day it was, but my first stop was the Flying Solo show featuring Denver-based designer HAUS. This Black-owned and queer-led design house creates urban contemporary, gender-affirming, and inclusive clothing with an emphasis on sustainability. HAUS designs are primarily intended to fit gender non-conforming people, and they offer both standard and customizable options to fit everyone. By using vegan and recycled materials in a small-batch production process, HAUS is able to achieve its mission of creating garments that truly include all bodies, all people, all the time.
Then, it was on to Son Jung Wan, one of my favorite designers. The "Harmony" collection was inspired by the beauty of natural movements and personifies humanity in its most artistic form. The collection features powerful silhouettes with delicate gentleness, created with ruffles, light silk, organza, chiffon, and mesh.
The last stop was alice + olivia by Stacey Bendet, where the weather gods thought a torrential rain shower was appropriate. The brand's Spring 2024 Collection was inspired by Capote’s Swans and high-society of the 1960s, presenting a fresh take on the historic era.
(L-R) Adee Erhabor, Courtney Simpson, a guest, Joce Blake, and Ashley Weddington
Photo courtesy of Joce Blake
Fit Check: Since corsets and cargos are in, I went for an ethereal yet edgy vibe in a vibrant blue corset with metallic cargo pants. I was feeling gaudy, so I layered up some diamond necklaces to coordinate with the diamonds in my top and the shine of my pants.
Day 6
Only two things mattered on Day 6 - the Sergio Hudson Show & Afterparty. Even before Sergio graced the cover of Essence with THEE Keke Palmer, I was a fan. The way he designs for the magic that is the Black women keeps me in awe. And I’m not the only one because he brought the girls out from La La Anthony to Marsai Martin to Nene Leakes to Angela Rye to Yvonne Orji to Kimora Lee Simmons. The runway was awash with feminine pieces that skillfully blended classic staples with risqué pieces. The models wore everything from delicate silk blouses to daring leather pants, and the overall effect was both elegant and edgy. The collection was a clear statement from the designer that femininity is not one-dimensional and that it can be expressed in many different ways.
Photo courtesy of Joce Blake
Fit Check: I had to save my multicolored structured jacket for this day. I wanted to be like Kanye West the entire night — DO YOU SEE THIS COAT!? Underneath, I wore an ombre dress and finished the look with orange heels and a Coach Tabby.
Day 7
Each season, the Global Fashion Collective brings fashion designers from all over the world to present their latest collections. This event is a celebration of the power of creativity and the beauty of diversity, as it features everything from avant-garde designs to classic fashion staples. I’m always blown away by the emerging designers’ stylish iterations.
I concluded the night with the fabulous creations by Sammy B Designs. Ever since Samantha Black burst onto the scene years ago, she has been one to watch, and Beyoncé agrees. This season, she elevated her ready-to-wear clothing line, which is feminine with an eclectic edge, with sequins, mesh, vibrant colors, logomania, cutouts, and puffed fabric, ranging from joggers to coordinated sets to dresses. After she slayed the runway, then we partied all night with some fire tunes and groovy drinks from Appleton Estate.
(L-R) Ashley Weddington, Joce Blake, and Courtney Simpson
Photo courtesy of Joce Blake
Fit Check: I can’t lie — this look was not planned, but when my girls said they were going with all-denim looks, then I knew I needed to come through. I rocked my denim jacket from the Daquane Cherry and Steve Madden collection because it was giving Basquiat art on the back. On the bottom, I wore flared denim jeans and brought the look to completion with an urban take on the cowboy hat. Altogether, we were giving Destiny’s Children.
Day 8
I had to take a break on Tuesday to get my life together. By Wednesday morning, I was jumping back in with Indonesia Now as my first show. Indonesian fashion designers Ivan Gunawan, Merdi Sihombing, Ayumi, IKAT Indonesia by Didiet Maulana, Ghea Panggabean, Amero X Livette, and Suedeson by Kimberly Tandra X MANDY'S' all showcased their Spring/Summer 2024 collections. The collections were inspired by a variety of sources, including the golden age of the Majapahit empire, traditional Batak patterns, street style, the diversity of Indonesia's traditional clothing silhouettes, the strength of Sumbanese women and weavers, the Borobudur temple, geometric abstract triangle motifs, and Indonesian women with different styles and dreams.
I stopped by the Black in Fashion Council showroom to indulge in more emerging designers. Fumi the Label brought the colorful knots we need all year round. KHOI introduced a new jewelry collection full of intention. Tejahn Burnett presented the footwear selection of our dreams. I was really impressed with all of the designers, and I can't wait to see what they come up with next.
The Black in Fashion Council is an organization that supports and promotes Black designers in the fashion industry. The showroom is a great place to see the latest designs from Black designers and to learn more about their work. I highly recommend checking it out if you're interested in fashion or supporting Black businesses.
WhenSmokeClears brought the New York City flavor we all love and adore. It was the way every model rocked Timberlands. The collection is undoubtedly an extension of the brand's previous collections, which create community like never before. My favorite moment: the most beautiful pregnant woman stole the show in a denim cape dress with coordinating denim pants.
Photo courtesy of Joce Blake
Fit Check: The last day’s fit was giving blushing bride as I adorned an all-pink look complete with pink cargo pants, a pink frilly, floral top, and a pink veil outlined with roses that fell to the floor. To add more pink, I carried my favorite pink paisley Brandon Blackwood bag.
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Feature image courtesy of Joce Blake
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
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