Just when you think New York Fashion Week couldn't possible top itself, a new year comes along to snatch our edges, throw our wigs, and make us secretly live out all of our fashion lives. It doesn't mater if you live in Manhattan, or the depths of Mississippi, NYFW is the time when everyone and everything is high-fashion, and the next hot moment is not too far away. It's actually one of my favorite times of the year, mostly because all those stupid rules are thrown out the window, and the only trend is creating your own rules. Blink too fast and you'll miss the latest and hottest purses, or the most popular colors of the season, or even trends that begin right where they stand.
Most importantly, the week always ends with the highly-anticipated Met Gala, which will be streamed live for the first time ever (and hosted by Keke Palmer and Ilana Glazer), and an after-party hosted by the one and only Bad Gyal, Rihanna.
But because we know you ladies love fashion like we do, we thought it would only be right to serve you up a recap of who (or what) stole our edges while strutting down 5th Avenue.
So, without further adieu...
Junie Shumpert
Teyana Taylor recently expressed on her E! Show with husbae Iman Shumpert, that she encourages her daughter Junie (5) to have a presence on social media, and her business ventures are no different as our mini sis shut NYFW down in the best way possible. Taylor had a Pretty Little Thing collection hit the runway, and she invited her firstborn along for the ride, which sis understood everything about the assignment.
Rocking all red, and a cap that only queens understood, she left no crumbs behind as she ate the entire row of the left side of the cookie package. Taylor loved it, naturally, telling ESSENCE that she is inspired by her, and daughter Rue, at all times.
"They are the greatest form of genuine love. They're my biggest fans. I was always a strong person, but having my babies has made me unstoppable. I get my fearlessness from them."
Yara Shahidi
Our girl Yara Shahidi somehow transitioned into literal art during the NYFW festivities, as she attended The Exhibition Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams while wearing a Dior Haute Couture Fall-Winter 2022 black mohair houndstooth sweater, a flannel skirt with a high waistline, and Dior heeled sandals. She uploaded an absolutely stunning photo of her in the dress captioned,
"Don't touch the art."
We won't touch, but we will certainly admire.
LaQuan Smith
LaQuan Smith has secretly been owning New York fashion for quite sometime, so a little week of showing off what he's working with is nothing. In fact, he topped all of our lives, by presenting his newest pieces at the top of the Empire State Building. Yes, the Empire State Building. He became the first designer to ever host a fashion show at the monument, telling the AP:
"I felt like, if we're going to come back to live shows, where's the best place to do it? It really felt like this was the best place to do it," he says. "This is a time when people need to feel fabulous again. This is a time when we need to continue to find reasons to celebrate, after coming out of such a shitty year."
Additionally, he brought out the star power with starlets such as Ciara, La La Anthony, Winnie Harlow, and Lori Harvey serving up all the goals in the front row.
Gender-Bending fashion
Daniel Zuchnik/Getty Images
Gender-bending has been a hot topic of discussion for much of the past few years, and Russell Westbrook and Kid Cudi decided to up the ante by rocking skirts--erm...kilts--to the festivities. But, the people wanted to know if we all missed the memo because in addition to the fashion risk, they each rocked blue hair to match.
Westbrook showed up to the Thom Brown Spring 2022 show wearing an ankle-length white kilt, off-white cardigan with front pockets and a diamond choker, and Kid Cudi, a floor-length black skirt under a long sleeve Nirvana shirt. Neither men are strangers to taking chances in fashion, but we're here for the bold moves.
Telfar's announcement of...a TV channel?
Telfar has been a game-changer in Black-owned accessories since we all discovered that we have a better chance of winning the powerball than getting a Telfar bag that we didn't prep for. So, when Beyonce was photographed rocking her bag, we collectively sobbed through tears of joy. The brand went on record of saying that although they appreciated the plug, they would never raise their prices and would continue with business as usual.
But now those business moves includes something that none of us saw coming: a TV channel. During a press conference held on the final day of New York Fashion Week, owner/creator Telfar Clemens announced the launch of his label's own television channel, Telfar TV.
The channel will have brand-exclusive content, and viewers will be able to scan QR codes to purchase products, ensuring that anyone who orders the label's famously sold-out bags will get one, without fear of bots purchasing bulk inventory.
It's the innovation for me!
The Gworls
So, it's infamously a no-brainer that Ciara will show up to wherever her little heart desires and shut shit down. NYFW was no different, and she visited numerous shows and gave what was needed to be given. Alongside her adventures was BFF La La Anthony, who always pulls up with big supportive energy, as well as other starlets such as Kehlani, Lori Harvey, or the City Girls.
Some of these ladies happened to link at the LaQuan Smith show and show off why we all love them so. Edges were snatched in the process, but it was seeing them all enjoy each other that we loved the most.
Nicole Ari Parker + Kristin Davis
Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images for Dior
OK, call me sappy, but seeing And Just Like That... co-stars take a break from filming the Sex and the City reboot to attend the Christian Dior Designer of Dreams exhibition cocktail party, was what I needed to prep myself for the show premiere. Seeing the two live out loud their show characters was exciting.
Can't wait to see Nicole crush this role!
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Featured image by Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images for Dior
As a writer who really pays attention to word meanings, something that can be a bit frustrating about our culture is the fact that based on whatever is popular at the time, folks will just up and change the original definitions of words to suit a particular agenda or whim — and the word “platonic” 1000 percent fits into this category. And perhaps that’s why we seem to continue to go in circles about whether or not people of the opposite sex can (and should) be friends and what that even can (and should) look like.
Let’s talk about it for a bit. Because as a word-literal type of individual, while again, I absolutely believe that men and women can be friends, at the same time, I think it’s about as rare as a red diamond to truly find yourself in a friendship that is…platonic.
It’s Time (More) Folks Knew What ‘Platonic’ LITERALLY Means
GiphySo, let's do first things first — let's define what it literally means for something to be platonic. If you go to your favorite search engine and put something along the lines of "What does platonic mean?", the first thing that you're (probably) going to see is a ton of dictionary definitions that say something along the lines of "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (Merriam-Webster), "designating or of a relationship, or love, between a man and a woman that is purely spiritual or intellectual and without sexual activity" (Your Dictionary) and, my personal favorite, "purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of different sexes" (Dictionary). Yeah, bookmark that last one; I'll be circling back.
Keeping this in mind (and please do), where does the word "platonic" actually come from? From what I've researched, the philosopher Plato once penned something entitled "Symposium." In it, he addressed the topic of two people sharing the kind of love that is free of any type of sensual desire, one that is based on divine love alone. An author from the 1800s broke it down this way: "Platonic love meant ideal sympathy; it now means the love of a sentimental young gentleman for a woman he cannot or will not marry." A write-up on Merriam-Webster's site stated that "The term platonic was initially used to mock non-sexual relationships, as it was considered ridiculous to separate love and sex, but eventually this connotation faded away leaving us with today's notion of close friendships." Yeah, we used to live in a culture where love and sex were not separated. Hmph, that's another article for another time, though (check out "We Should Really Rethink The Term' Casual Sex'").
Anyway, as with many things (especially in our culture), the word "platonic" is kind of used in "broad strokes" these days (bromances, female friendships, etc.). However, because there continues to be this forever discussion — and oftentimes debate — about whether or not men and women can be "just friends," I'm going to tackle this topic strictly from that angle — from the place where platonic actually originated.
You ready?
Yes, Men and Women Can Be Just Friends. But…
GiphyAt this stage in my life, I'm pretty sure that I have more male friends than female ones. There are layers of reasons why, yet I think a huge one is because I like the balance that masculinity brings to my femininity (especially as I'm learning to embrace different aspects of my femininity, intentionally even more). And while every single one of my male friends is respectful and is a super safe space in my world on every single level that I can imagine (and have been for years now), there are probably only a couple who I would say 100 percent qualify as being…trulyplatonic.
Why would I say that? Well, I'll illustrate this point with something that one of my male friends once said to me. He's super cute. He can sing his ass off (and definitely has one of my favorite speaking voices). People see us out together often, and some have told us that they assume that we've had something going on at some point. Anyway, after hearing someone share their theory about us, I told it to him.
Me: "I told him, 'He's my brother. We would never mess around.'"
My Friend: "Correction, you are like a sister. You are not my sister, though. Under the right conditions, you could still get it."
When I shared that exchange with another male friend of mine, he basically cosigned on the sentiment: "Shellie, I have never approached you like that because I really respect you. I want to be good for you for the rest of our lives." (That reminds me: check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?" when you get a chance.)
Then I went to one more guy homie and ran both statements by him: "Girl, yeah. If I didn't want to keep you in my life long-term, I would've tried to holla a long time ago!" And he and I have been friends for almost 20 years at this point. When did he get around to telling me this? Eh, maybe two years ago. LOL.
So, my takeaway from all of these "for real?!" exchanges is even though men and women can be just friends, there is a certain level of intention, self-control, and ability to see into the future (on some level) that must go into account — because, just because something more-than-friends-like may not have gone down, that doesn't mean there isn't a "dormant seed" lying around somewhere…whether it's one-sided or on both sides of the friendship dynamic.
As you can see, I just provided you with three instances where the male friends in my life; we've had nothing sexual or even physically intimate beyond a hug when we greet each other in nature — although things aren't exactly platonic if there is some sort of attraction or sexual/romantic curiosity that simply never got explored. Because again, according to Plato, a platonic relationship is free from all of that kind of…tension — or possibilities. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
And now you probably get why I entitled this article in the way that I did…right? I mean, just think about it — out of your male friendships, where is there NO sensual desire or dormant romantic interest…on your side and/or on his? If you're not sure about "his"…have you ever asked him? Or them? Because again, once I really let the definition of platonic sink in, I think maybe two guys in my life totally fit the bill.
This brings me to my next point.
Are You Platonic? Or Are You Friend-Zoning?
GiphyNow that you know that probably 70 percent of the people you know (both online and off) have been using the true meaning of platonic all the way wrong, let’s go about deeper: when it comes to your friendships with men, are they genuinely platonic or…is it more like you’re friend-zoning them?
A few years ago, I penned an article on the topic entitled, “Before You 'Friend Zone' Someone, Read This.” If you’re skimming this on your lunch break, I’ll summarize friend-zoning as knowing that a guy has so-much-more-than-platonic feelings for you, yet because you basically want to keep the benefits of the friendship or even his emotions around, you will string him along on some level.
Personally, I can’t stand friend-zoning. I think it’s selfish, with some sprinkles of manipulation and wasting someone’s time. Don’t agree? How would you feel if a guy was friend-zoning you? (Yeah…exactly.)
This all needs to go on record because, knowing that a guy wants to “take it there” with you (whether sexually or romantically), you not full-on addressing it and/or giving him just enough hope to take you out, listen to all of your stories about other men and give you the attention that you need knowing that he doesn’t have a shot in hell — that is NOT a platonic friendship and honestly, you’re not being a good friend at all. Friends protect each other’s hearts, not abuse them.
A platonic friendship means that you both have no interest in each other, and, as Plato put it, while you may have a strong and solid bond, it’s spiritual love that connects you. And what exactly does that mean? Spiritual love also deserves its own article, yet the gist would be that you recognize there is a purpose in your friendship, yet it’s about wanting what’s best for one another and even helping each other to get there.
For instance, a platonic friend of yours may know that you desire to be married one day, so he has no problem setting you up with a good guy in his life. And if things go well, he would have no problem standing up as your own best man (without feeling like he’s dying inside) because he never saw you beyond anything but a friend. A guy in the friend zone doesn’t move like this; he likes you too much to help you move on with someone else. See the difference?
Why Relationships Should Start Off As NON-PLATONIC Friendships
GiphyBefore I end this with some tips on how to properly care for the few platonic friendships you may actually have, since the use of the word may require a bit of mental reprogramming, I do think we should also address that if you've got a good guy in your life, who right now is a friend and either you've never thought of him in that way or the topic has never come up — he's someone that you may not want to brush off.
What I mean by that is, it's one thing for there to be absolutely no interest in someone vs. never considering it before — and the reason why you might want to give it some thought is because, ask any healthy married couple who's been together for more than five years and I'll bet you my next rent check that they will say that the best relationships are birthed out of friendship (check out "Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?").
Yeah, just because you've filed someone in the "I see him as a good guy" category, that doesn't automatically mean that y'all's friendship is platonic. For instance, I have a male friend who is fine and I adore on many levels, yet the reason why it would never work on my end is because there are certain relational standards that I have that he does not meet. However, don't get it twisted — I've considered him because, on so many levels, we "fit." So, the mere fact that I ever seriously thought about him on that level means that we are "good friends," yet it's not exactly platonic.
I'm not free of potential sensual desire…I just choose not to act on it. Yet because I get the value of having friendship as the foundation for my own future marriage (should life play out that way), I am wise enough to know that I would've been a fool to not at least…ponder him and the possibilities.
So yeah, if there is a male friend in your life that the thought of dating or having sex with him doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth, there's a pretty good chance that it's not a classic platonic dynamic — and you might want to consider if it could/should go to the next level — if not immediately, eventually. Because there's a pretty good chance that if you are thinking that way, he probably is as well.
Protect Your Genuine Platonic Friendship(s) At All Costs
GiphyLet me end this with how one of my platonic friendships rolls. We both think that the other is attractive, yet neither of us is attracted. We both give each other opposite-sex insights. We both have said that the mere thought of dating each other makes our noses turn up like there’s an odor in the air. And even when I try to imagine us together, my mind goes blank. I love, love, LOVE this man — oh, but it is absolutely nothing more than platonic — and he feels the same way. It’s as close to familial love without being blood relationships. It’s a rare dynamic, and that is what makes it so special. There is definitely a spiritual type of love there; no more, no less.
If you’ve got someone in your life who you feel the same way about (again, it’s got to be mutual; he must feel that way, too), you’ve got a gem of a situation going on because there is nothing like having the kind of friendship where you and a guy can hang out, exchange perspectives and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, knowing that’s all it is and will ever be. Things will never get weird. No one’s feelings are gonna get hurt (from the whole friend-zoning thing). You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You can just be.
And that’s why I’m all for platonic friendships. And listen, if you’re blessed enough to have even one in your lifetime, be fiercely protective of it. Don’t take it for granted. Nurture it in a way that your male friend needs (because it probably won’t be the exact same as your female friendships). Y’all, platonic friendships are so bomb because, if it’s honored and protected correctly, it’s the one male friend that you can probably keep for life because even your romantic partner will not find it to be a (true) threat — hell, they honestly could probably end up becoming (some level of) friends with your platonic homie as well.
______
I hope that I broke this all down enough to where, when you decide to use a word to describe your opposite-sex friendships, perhaps you will pause and ask yourself, “Wait, is this a platonic friend or a good or close friend?” Because the clearer you are on the differences, the easier it will be to know how to maintain your friendship — and feel about your friend. Feel me? Cool.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images
