The Telfar Bag Is A New Cult Fave For A Reason
By definition, cult favorites are the identification of a certain preference, product, or vibe; a sense of ownership, or buy-in. There's an emotional component to cult favorites and in the age of social media, it can happen quicker than ever. Historically, there are few brands who have experienced this sort of cult phenomenon; even fewer that achieved that during a pandemic. For the Telfar bag, though, that's the narrative of 2020 but it doesn't seem to be changing any time soon.
Telfar is a New York-based unisex line established by designer Telfar Clemens in 2005 with the mission of perfecting accessible luxury. An item described as "A Bag For Everyone", the Telfar bag is equal parts function and fashion. The vegan leather bags are aptly named Shopping Bags, a signature piece of the Telfar brand. The top-handles and long-line strap are roomy and perfect for everyday wear while the recognizable logo elevates it to a status item. The colors range from silver to oxblood to fur-line (their newest UGG drop); the sizes range from small to large. Nicknamed the "Bushwick Birkin", coined by makeup artist Xya Rachel, it ironically has become as difficult to procure as its Parisian namesake.
Make no mistake though, the Telfar bag was well on its way to cult status pre-2020. Since the introduction of the Shopping Bags to the label in 2014, the notoriously arduous bags were the perfect combination of quality, price, and rarity. For Telfar, it's "not for you, it's for everyone." A sense of community is a significant thread that is weaved through this bag; the more, the merrier.
While word-of-mouth was the driving force behind the success of Telfar, celebrities like Kate Moss and Solange are noted fans of the brand.
Telfar
After a series of unexpected events for the brand this year, including but not limited to a GAP collaboration that fell through and international bots overwhelming the website on launch days, the Telfar bag skyrocketed to a level of exposure only previously occupied by the Dior Saddlebag. For the better part of 2020, every month the anticipation would grow as a new launch would drop. Then, minutes later, Twitter would be flooded with tweets from sad consumers who were too slow to add to the cart.
But unlike its luxury counterparts, when consumers voiced their concern, Telfar pivoted and provided a solution. Enter, The Bag Security Program - giving a new meaning to "securing the bag". The 24-hour event allowed anyone to purchase any color, size, or quantity they desired, with guaranteed delivery in December and January. The program was a success and used in the new collaboration: UGG x Telfar - which sold out pre-order in minutes.
This continues the narrative that black designers are the blueprint within the fashion industry.
The ability to remain flexible has been a trait of the successor in 2020, and that's the chemistry to Telfar's success. Instead of building a luxury brand on snobbery and classism, Telfar doubles down on providing beautiful products that are affordable without sacrificing quality. It's extraordinary to see a black designer gain this sort of popularity and continued success, especially since we know how underrepresented the fashion industry can be.
Telfar was recently awarded the 'American Accessories Designer of the Year' by the Council of Fashion Designers, amongst black talent like Pyer Moss and Christopher John Rogers. While this is certainly a top award for the brand Telfar, it is only just beginning.
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Featured image via Telfar
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Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images