In addition to the fact that I can now proudly say that my dream job is my day job and vice versa, since becoming Managing Editor, my wish to work from home has been fully actualized in the process. With the rise in prominence of remote work, more and more of us are indulging in the inclusive ability to clock into our 9 to 5s while rocking our PJs and "bumming" it on the couch. It's a blessing I don't take lightly because I've worked through some crazy-long commutes, paid for lunches daily (which added up and caused me to gain the Office 20 in the process), and depending on where you work, investing in a wardrobe is a requirement that's no easy (or budget-friendly) feat.
However, while convenient AF and cost-effective as hell, working from home is not without its drawbacks. Although I don't struggle with productivity, in my work from home life, I do sometimes teeter the boundaries between work life and home life, as well as being faithful to a routine. But in the past year, I've gained some valuable insight and tips on how to rock this work from home life. Check them out below.
Establish Work/Home (Life) Boundaries
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You know the workaholic who loves to work and, in that regards, puts their pleasure over matter? I'm totally that girl. I've always known I had the potential to be a workaholic, but I really became privy to my somewhat dangerous habit when I started working from home. That tendency of course lent itself to how I went about my day and often, that meant not allowing there to be clear boundaries between when I worked and when I lived because of how blurred those lines were.
I would wake up, unlock my phone, open my email app, and start work before I even brushed my teeth or washed my face. I'd feel obligated to work whenever I was near my laptop. I'd feel obligated to work whenever I got a text message or read a message while I was out for a couple of hours. That's not the way to live, sis. Since then, I've made it a point to draw clearer lines between Work Sheriden and Home Sheriden. Work Sheriden now only works when she considers herself ON. I "clock in" and I "clock out", and once I've clocked out, I don't have to feel like I'm in work mode just because my home is my office.
Create A Space You Love Working In
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If you're going to set up shop in your home, you might as well make it an inviting space to be in. I don't have a traditional office sectioned off. Instead, I work from my couch. Sometimes, I offset the monotony with a seat at my desk in my bedroom, but let's face it, a couch is so much kinder to the body.
I like to set the mood with a bit of aromatherapy to help calm my senses by having soy candles burning. Lavender anything is a favorite of mine and has healing properties that include improving the mood, treating stress, migraines, and anxiety, as well as stimulating the brain. Music is another favorite of mine. My Feel Good playlist is such a vibe-setter and can definitely add some life into an otherwise quiet space. Podcasts and interviews are also great audio-stimulators that provide motivating ambience while I work.
Be Loyal To A Routine
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A routine will be your best friend and your greatest ally when working from home. I don't have my day super detailed to the T, but there are some things that are mainstays – twice-a-week meetings and a once a week mandatory check-in call are examples of that. Additionally, there are tasks that stay the same throughout my week too. I've learned to do my best to adhere to a to-do list for the most part when it comes to tackling the day-to-day tasks and leaving room to give my energy to other things as they come up.
Perhaps even more important than that, was my commitment of keeping certain elements of my day the same and making sure to create a routine out of it:
6:30 a.m. – Wake up, wake up
6:30-7:30 a.m. – Relaxing in bed, sometimes doing nothing, sometimes reading, sometimes just catching up on a show or two that I like
7:30-8:30 a.m. – Brush my teeth, wash my face, shower, and make some breakfast
8:30 a.m. – I usually begin my workday around now, even though I prefer to wait until 9
8:30 a.m.-12 p.m. – Editing, uploading, writing, emails, meeting(s)
The remainder of my day follows that rhythm with the occasional hour break to eat and fit in a quick workout routine. My work day usually ends around 8, 10:00 at the latest. Having some sort of semblance of a routine allows me to understand my day in pieces versus being overwhelmed by anxiety of always being go, go, go and do, do, do.
Isolate Time For Meaningful Breaks
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As you can see in the aforementioned tip, I really value my breaks. When I worked traditional desk jobs, I was accustomed to the obligatory 15- to 30-minute breaks companies allot their employees but I didn't realize how easy it would be to forget all about those necessary pauses when I was doing what I love full-time. For the first few months (read: six months), I forgot to pause.
I'd work 12- to 14-hour days, barely stopping for bathroom breaks but my daily water intake wouldn't let me. So, you can imagine that lack of care went double for making the time to eat. When I'm busy, it's very easy to forget to eat and a couple of hours can quickly turn to five without me even realizing it. But it is vital that you isolate time for breaks. Thus, nowadays, I try to have a minimum of three half-hour breaks each day.
Unplug. Chat with a friend. Take a walk. Read. Cook for yourself. Whatever you do, place your work day on a time out and do so as frequently as you need to.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How I Make My Home A Sacred Space For Productivity
8 Realities About Working From Home
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
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Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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