May is a month of healing. Although we are still in the midst of Eclipse Season, the energy is grounding this month with Taurus Season underway, and some significant changes are happening in the sky. On the 1st of the month, Pluto goes retrograde, and this is the first Pluto retrograde since Pluto entered Aquarius earlier this year. Pluto retrograde is all about finding your power, not letting change intimidate you, and finding the beauty and inspiration within change. Jupiter will be in retrograde until December 30, and many people will be finding their way and soul purpose.
On May 5th, the second eclipse of 2023 happens, and it’s a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio. This is a powerful and impactful eclipse, and its energy overall is about finding your power, allowing breakthroughs, and letting go of the chaos. This eclipse is closing a chapter and creating the space for a new beginning. Venus moves into Cancer a few days later, on May 7th, and over the next few weeks, love takes on a sweeter, more emotional tone, and Venus in Cancer is all about feeling things through. Relationships that are meant to be will be becoming clearer than ever, and Venus in Cancer is not afraid to love, so you can expect more displays of affection, nurturing, and care during this time.
Mercury has been retrograde in Taurus since April 21st and officially goes direct on May 14th. Once Mercury is out of retrograde motion, the latter half of the month will be a more grounded experience, and less communication and financial delays are likely. Mercury retrograde has been highlighting the loose ends within plans and a sense of security in life and allowing more beneficial and stable paths and opportunities to appear. Jupiter also enters Taurus on May 16th but will be here until May 25, 2024. Jupiter in Taurus impacts finances, relationships, love, and value systems. During this transit, stability, logic, patience, and dedication is favored, and Jupiter will be sharing a little more love and financial growth with the world.
Before Gemini Season begins on May 21st, the fixed signs continue their monthly debut, and there is a New Moon in Taurus on May 19th, and Mars enters Leo on May 20th. The universe wants to shed some light on opportunity this month and how much better life can really get. There is passion, growth, and empowerment blooming in May, and it’s not the time to be rigid in perspective or stance. Know that you are worthy of being seen, loved, and valued.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleIn May, you are opening up to love, Aries. This is the month to address any feelings or emotions that you have been putting on the back burner and to not be afraid to open up to others. Love is a strength, not a weakness, don’t ever forget that, Aries. The eclipse at the start of the month will be wrapping things up for you and helping you see clearly what is going to benefit your health, well-being, and heart.
A long-term transit begins for you this month, and that is Jupiter moving into Taurus and into your 2nd house of income on May 16 until May 25, 2024. Jupiter is a benevolent planet, and its influence is a blessing. For you, this means good luck coming in financially, and although you do have to be a little more cautious of overspending or going to the extreme, overall, you are moving into a time of greater wealth and opportunity this month.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about using your voice and communicating, Taurus. Your season is here, and it’s your time to show up and express yourself. You are worthy to take up space, and you are getting clarity on what paths and avenues you can do that best. Mercury has been retrograde in your sign since late April and officially goes direct on May 14th, and you can finally take a breath of fresh air this month and move forward.
May overall is about balancing your needs with the needs of those in your life.
The energy is both in your 1st house of self and in your 7th house of relationships, so you are finding the balance here this month. The most significant transit for you of 2023 happens at the end of the month, and that is Jupiter moving into your sign. You are moving into the luckiest time of your life in over a decade in May, enjoy it.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you financially, Gemini. This is a month where you are seeing the intentions you have been setting financially and within your career world come true for you and when new doors of opportunity are opening. Your ruling planet Mercury has been in retrograde since April 21st and will finally be direct on the 14th of this month. You are getting the closure that you need right now to plan your next steps.
As the month moves forward, a New Moon is happening in your 12th house of endings and culminations, and you are healing, accepting what’s been, and letting go of what has been holding you back. Gemini Season officially begins on May 21st, and by the end of May, things are back in full swing, and you are living confidently. It’s about choosing yourself this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is all about letting go of the past and allowing love, Cancer. You are seeing chapters close, clarity appearing, and the past being laid to rest. You are recognizing that you can’t always fix what’s broken or what needs to be let go of, and divine intervention is coming into play. At the start of the month, there is a Lunar Eclipse in your 9th house of adventure, and you are feeling free and less restricted right now.
Know that new life comes from endings and that a chapter closing in your life doesn’t mean the end of everything else.
Things are happening for you, and the universe has your back as you process. Before the month ends, lucky Jupiter moves into your 11th house of friendship, and you are entering a time of community, happiness, social life, and fulfillment. Your power of manifestation is especially strong when Jupiter is in the 11th house, and you have some good times coming over the next year.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is bringing forth a coming together in your life, Leo. The past, present, and future are coming together as one, and you are feeling a sense of wholeness. This is a month of recognizing some of your long-term dreams and goals in life and in love and making sure your cup is full before pouring onto anyone else’s. This is the month to ask yourself if you are living the life you have envisioned for yourself, Leo.
Jupiter moves into your 10th house on May 16th, and your career life, reputation, and achievements come into clear view over the next year. You are moving into a time of more recognition in your life, but also a time of figuring out how you want to show up, go after goals, and what you want to be known for. On May 20th, Mars moves into your sign until July 10th, and you have extra energy, confidence, and passion within you over the next few months. The power is in your hands right now, Leo. What do you want to do with it?
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a successful month for you, Virgo. You are moving into financial blessings and support and feeling like you have everything you need surrounding you this month. This is a good time to value yourself, your people, and how far you have come in life. You are reaching some important goals financially in May, and it’s allowing you to enjoy your life more and figure out where you want to go from here.
The Lunar Eclipse happening at the beginning of the month is when you are starting to see things come to fruition for you.
Not only does your ruling planet Mercury go direct this month after being in retrograde since April, but Jupiter is also entering this same area of your chart in May, and you are moving into a year-long journey of adventure, travel, charisma, inspiration, and direction. Jupiter will be in your 9th house until May 2024, and this is a good time to knock off your bucket list and explore the world.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecolePatience, patience, patience, Libra! This month is about watching out for impulses and thinking things through before continuing forward. Miscommunication or disagreements are more likely in May, and extra precaution is needed. Overall, this month is allowing you to find your sense of freedom without disrupting the things you have going on and the people that are there to support you.
With a Lunar Eclipse happening in the sign just after yours this month, you are moving through some closures in May, but they have been long overdue in your life and are facilitating your healing journey. These culminations you are moving through this month are allowing you to see some things more clearly and to define the person you are or want to be. May is your opportunity to set things straight and to get some things in order.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of deep healing for you, Scorpio. You have been going through a lot over the past year or so, and you are asking yourself now if the light at the end of the tunnel will be appearing anytime soon. In May, you are addressing some more challenges that need to be seen so that you can let go of any resentment or disappointments that have been disrupting your progress and happiness.
The second eclipse of 2023 happens this month, and it’s a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign.
You are experiencing a big growth moment in May, and it’s overall creating a much-needed breakthrough in your life. Another significant transit is happening this month, and that is Jupiter, the planet of luck, moving into your 7th house of love from May 16th until May 2024. The work you have been doing is finally being recognized, and you enter a time of romance, connection, and commitment.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of commitment, direction, and beginning something new. You are breaking free from previous miscommunication challenges and removing roadblocks from your life. This is a month where you are seeing things clearly, and ready to communicate what you know. With the Sun in your 6th house for most of May, you are cleaning house, getting things in order, and focusing on your well-being, Sagittarius.
Moving further into the month, Jupiter enters your 6th house, where all the energy has been the past month, but this time, Jupiter will be here for a year. Over the next year, your working life, health, and daily routine are moving through a healing journey and are receiving some extra support. You are letting go of what isn’t for your highest good and doing the things that are not only going to benefit you right now but in the long haul as well.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleSuccess is yours, and you are accomplishing goals this month, Capricorn. May is about receiving the recognition you have been looking for, for the work you have been putting in. Even though there are some extra responsibilities on your plate at this time of the year, you are feeling capable of it all and proud of the position you are finding yourself in this month.
Financially, there is a lot of growth occurring for you this month, and some pleasant surprises are in store for you right now.
With the planet of good luck, Jupiter, entering your 5th house of romance for the next year or so, you also enter a new journey of love this month. Jupiter in your 5th house is facilitating happiness in your life, and you can expect to receive a little extra love during this time. You are feeling in tune, prepared, and inspired by what is occurring for you this month, and your energy is grounded enough to receive the blessings that are coming to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is an impactful month for you, Aquarius. Through the ups and downs you have been moving through in life, they have only made you stronger and wiser, and May is a month of reminding yourself that you are enough. Pluto entered your sign this year after being in Capricorn for almost two decades and officially entered your sign this year. On May 1st, Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius, and you are taking a step back and looking at the path that is opening up to you more clearly.
May is all about seeing your part in what has been playing out for you and also creating necessary boundaries between the people who are making things more difficult for you than they need to be. Choose your battles wisely, and consider making peace with yourself and others this month. Jupiter enters your 4th house before May ends, and a move, family dynamics changing, and emotional growth are all more likely for you over the next year.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a pleasant surprise for you, Pisces. Love is taking on a new tone, and new doors are opening for you here. This is the month to take those first steps and welcome a new beginning in your life so that you can move forward into your dreams more freely. The eclipse happening at the beginning of the month on the 5th is happening in a romantic, loving, and joyful area of your chart, and you are feeling the love that you have been looking for in your life.
You have been on a deep healing journey this year, as Saturn entered your sign a few months ago.
More focus has been on you, your personal growth, and your sense of stability in life, and with Jupiter entering your 3rd house in May, you are facilitating communication breakthroughs in your life. If there is anything you have wanted to say to someone, this is the month and the year to do it, as you are especially supported when it comes to self-expression and connection right now.
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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