May is a month of healing. Although we are still in the midst of Eclipse Season, the energy is grounding this month with Taurus Season underway, and some significant changes are happening in the sky. On the 1st of the month, Pluto goes retrograde, and this is the first Pluto retrograde since Pluto entered Aquarius earlier this year. Pluto retrograde is all about finding your power, not letting change intimidate you, and finding the beauty and inspiration within change. Jupiter will be in retrograde until December 30, and many people will be finding their way and soul purpose.
On May 5th, the second eclipse of 2023 happens, and it’s a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio. This is a powerful and impactful eclipse, and its energy overall is about finding your power, allowing breakthroughs, and letting go of the chaos. This eclipse is closing a chapter and creating the space for a new beginning. Venus moves into Cancer a few days later, on May 7th, and over the next few weeks, love takes on a sweeter, more emotional tone, and Venus in Cancer is all about feeling things through. Relationships that are meant to be will be becoming clearer than ever, and Venus in Cancer is not afraid to love, so you can expect more displays of affection, nurturing, and care during this time.
Mercury has been retrograde in Taurus since April 21st and officially goes direct on May 14th. Once Mercury is out of retrograde motion, the latter half of the month will be a more grounded experience, and less communication and financial delays are likely. Mercury retrograde has been highlighting the loose ends within plans and a sense of security in life and allowing more beneficial and stable paths and opportunities to appear. Jupiter also enters Taurus on May 16th but will be here until May 25, 2024. Jupiter in Taurus impacts finances, relationships, love, and value systems. During this transit, stability, logic, patience, and dedication is favored, and Jupiter will be sharing a little more love and financial growth with the world.
Before Gemini Season begins on May 21st, the fixed signs continue their monthly debut, and there is a New Moon in Taurus on May 19th, and Mars enters Leo on May 20th. The universe wants to shed some light on opportunity this month and how much better life can really get. There is passion, growth, and empowerment blooming in May, and it’s not the time to be rigid in perspective or stance. Know that you are worthy of being seen, loved, and valued.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleIn May, you are opening up to love, Aries. This is the month to address any feelings or emotions that you have been putting on the back burner and to not be afraid to open up to others. Love is a strength, not a weakness, don’t ever forget that, Aries. The eclipse at the start of the month will be wrapping things up for you and helping you see clearly what is going to benefit your health, well-being, and heart.
A long-term transit begins for you this month, and that is Jupiter moving into Taurus and into your 2nd house of income on May 16 until May 25, 2024. Jupiter is a benevolent planet, and its influence is a blessing. For you, this means good luck coming in financially, and although you do have to be a little more cautious of overspending or going to the extreme, overall, you are moving into a time of greater wealth and opportunity this month.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about using your voice and communicating, Taurus. Your season is here, and it’s your time to show up and express yourself. You are worthy to take up space, and you are getting clarity on what paths and avenues you can do that best. Mercury has been retrograde in your sign since late April and officially goes direct on May 14th, and you can finally take a breath of fresh air this month and move forward.
May overall is about balancing your needs with the needs of those in your life.
The energy is both in your 1st house of self and in your 7th house of relationships, so you are finding the balance here this month. The most significant transit for you of 2023 happens at the end of the month, and that is Jupiter moving into your sign. You are moving into the luckiest time of your life in over a decade in May, enjoy it.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you financially, Gemini. This is a month where you are seeing the intentions you have been setting financially and within your career world come true for you and when new doors of opportunity are opening. Your ruling planet Mercury has been in retrograde since April 21st and will finally be direct on the 14th of this month. You are getting the closure that you need right now to plan your next steps.
As the month moves forward, a New Moon is happening in your 12th house of endings and culminations, and you are healing, accepting what’s been, and letting go of what has been holding you back. Gemini Season officially begins on May 21st, and by the end of May, things are back in full swing, and you are living confidently. It’s about choosing yourself this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is all about letting go of the past and allowing love, Cancer. You are seeing chapters close, clarity appearing, and the past being laid to rest. You are recognizing that you can’t always fix what’s broken or what needs to be let go of, and divine intervention is coming into play. At the start of the month, there is a Lunar Eclipse in your 9th house of adventure, and you are feeling free and less restricted right now.
Know that new life comes from endings and that a chapter closing in your life doesn’t mean the end of everything else.
Things are happening for you, and the universe has your back as you process. Before the month ends, lucky Jupiter moves into your 11th house of friendship, and you are entering a time of community, happiness, social life, and fulfillment. Your power of manifestation is especially strong when Jupiter is in the 11th house, and you have some good times coming over the next year.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is bringing forth a coming together in your life, Leo. The past, present, and future are coming together as one, and you are feeling a sense of wholeness. This is a month of recognizing some of your long-term dreams and goals in life and in love and making sure your cup is full before pouring onto anyone else’s. This is the month to ask yourself if you are living the life you have envisioned for yourself, Leo.
Jupiter moves into your 10th house on May 16th, and your career life, reputation, and achievements come into clear view over the next year. You are moving into a time of more recognition in your life, but also a time of figuring out how you want to show up, go after goals, and what you want to be known for. On May 20th, Mars moves into your sign until July 10th, and you have extra energy, confidence, and passion within you over the next few months. The power is in your hands right now, Leo. What do you want to do with it?
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a successful month for you, Virgo. You are moving into financial blessings and support and feeling like you have everything you need surrounding you this month. This is a good time to value yourself, your people, and how far you have come in life. You are reaching some important goals financially in May, and it’s allowing you to enjoy your life more and figure out where you want to go from here.
The Lunar Eclipse happening at the beginning of the month is when you are starting to see things come to fruition for you.
Not only does your ruling planet Mercury go direct this month after being in retrograde since April, but Jupiter is also entering this same area of your chart in May, and you are moving into a year-long journey of adventure, travel, charisma, inspiration, and direction. Jupiter will be in your 9th house until May 2024, and this is a good time to knock off your bucket list and explore the world.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecolePatience, patience, patience, Libra! This month is about watching out for impulses and thinking things through before continuing forward. Miscommunication or disagreements are more likely in May, and extra precaution is needed. Overall, this month is allowing you to find your sense of freedom without disrupting the things you have going on and the people that are there to support you.
With a Lunar Eclipse happening in the sign just after yours this month, you are moving through some closures in May, but they have been long overdue in your life and are facilitating your healing journey. These culminations you are moving through this month are allowing you to see some things more clearly and to define the person you are or want to be. May is your opportunity to set things straight and to get some things in order.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of deep healing for you, Scorpio. You have been going through a lot over the past year or so, and you are asking yourself now if the light at the end of the tunnel will be appearing anytime soon. In May, you are addressing some more challenges that need to be seen so that you can let go of any resentment or disappointments that have been disrupting your progress and happiness.
The second eclipse of 2023 happens this month, and it’s a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign.
You are experiencing a big growth moment in May, and it’s overall creating a much-needed breakthrough in your life. Another significant transit is happening this month, and that is Jupiter, the planet of luck, moving into your 7th house of love from May 16th until May 2024. The work you have been doing is finally being recognized, and you enter a time of romance, connection, and commitment.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of commitment, direction, and beginning something new. You are breaking free from previous miscommunication challenges and removing roadblocks from your life. This is a month where you are seeing things clearly, and ready to communicate what you know. With the Sun in your 6th house for most of May, you are cleaning house, getting things in order, and focusing on your well-being, Sagittarius.
Moving further into the month, Jupiter enters your 6th house, where all the energy has been the past month, but this time, Jupiter will be here for a year. Over the next year, your working life, health, and daily routine are moving through a healing journey and are receiving some extra support. You are letting go of what isn’t for your highest good and doing the things that are not only going to benefit you right now but in the long haul as well.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleSuccess is yours, and you are accomplishing goals this month, Capricorn. May is about receiving the recognition you have been looking for, for the work you have been putting in. Even though there are some extra responsibilities on your plate at this time of the year, you are feeling capable of it all and proud of the position you are finding yourself in this month.
Financially, there is a lot of growth occurring for you this month, and some pleasant surprises are in store for you right now.
With the planet of good luck, Jupiter, entering your 5th house of romance for the next year or so, you also enter a new journey of love this month. Jupiter in your 5th house is facilitating happiness in your life, and you can expect to receive a little extra love during this time. You are feeling in tune, prepared, and inspired by what is occurring for you this month, and your energy is grounded enough to receive the blessings that are coming to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is an impactful month for you, Aquarius. Through the ups and downs you have been moving through in life, they have only made you stronger and wiser, and May is a month of reminding yourself that you are enough. Pluto entered your sign this year after being in Capricorn for almost two decades and officially entered your sign this year. On May 1st, Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius, and you are taking a step back and looking at the path that is opening up to you more clearly.
May is all about seeing your part in what has been playing out for you and also creating necessary boundaries between the people who are making things more difficult for you than they need to be. Choose your battles wisely, and consider making peace with yourself and others this month. Jupiter enters your 4th house before May ends, and a move, family dynamics changing, and emotional growth are all more likely for you over the next year.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a pleasant surprise for you, Pisces. Love is taking on a new tone, and new doors are opening for you here. This is the month to take those first steps and welcome a new beginning in your life so that you can move forward into your dreams more freely. The eclipse happening at the beginning of the month on the 5th is happening in a romantic, loving, and joyful area of your chart, and you are feeling the love that you have been looking for in your life.
You have been on a deep healing journey this year, as Saturn entered your sign a few months ago.
More focus has been on you, your personal growth, and your sense of stability in life, and with Jupiter entering your 3rd house in May, you are facilitating communication breakthroughs in your life. If there is anything you have wanted to say to someone, this is the month and the year to do it, as you are especially supported when it comes to self-expression and connection right now.
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Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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