

Our fast-paced, microwaveable ass society often pushes us to our limits, forcing us to grind day in and day out to make a living and hopefully afford some of life's luxuries. It's common for many of us to juggle multiple jobs just to make ends meet while attempting to maintain balance within other areas of our lives, including our relationships, hobbies, school and oh yeah—me time (which often gets pushed to the back-burner up until we reach a point of exhaustion, forcing us to replenish ourselves).
It's that reason alone that we need to be more proactive than reactive when it comes to our energy. Most of you are probably familiar with the oh-so-popular buzzword, chakras. If this word is new to you, here's a quick crash course about chakras. In Eastern medicine, it is believed that the human body is comprised of energy centers that help regulate all of its processes, ranging from the way we digest food, how we process emotion, and even how we connect with God. There are seven main chakras, which include the root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown chakras. Each chakra has its own unique vibrational frequency that is associated with a specific position on the body, color and functions.
So how do you know if your chakras need to be attuned?
Well, this imbalance of your energy can show up in different ways. The most common symptom of blocked chakras is extreme fatigue and a general sense of sluggishness. Other symptoms can include persistent financial issues, low self-esteem, hella toxic relationships, chronic anxiety, a lack of direction in life, and a whole bunch of other detrimental side effects that make your life way more difficult than it needs to be.
As the sensual creature that I am, I love to indulge in my senses—specifically smell because I know how quickly a scent can change my mood. Since I was a little girl, my parents were big on burning incense, especially on Saturday morning cleaning days. My love of incense eventually carried over into candles and essential oils as well. It has even been scientifically proven that fragrance can be used to "enhance health and promote feelings of well-being." (Yale Scientific Magazine)
Check out more information below on how to balance the seven main chakras using aromatherapy.
ROOT CHAKRA
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The root chakra, also known as Muladhara, is located at the base of the spine and is one of the most important energy centers due to it being the foundation of your chakra system. It is physically correlated with the legs, feet, colon, and the adrenal glands. This particular chakra is associated with our sense of security and stability within the world. It represents your basic needs for survival (food, water, shelter) and it represents your physical body and experience. Think of it as your more primal nature.
When your root chakra is out of balance, you can experience feelings of fear, anxiety, and greed. Most of humanity is stuck operating from an imbalanced root chakra due to financial strain and feeling the need to compete for resources.
It's important to practice grounding techniques, such as earthing, to attune this particular chakra. Patchouli is a musky-earthy aroma that is used to calm anxiety, alleviate fatigue, and help you stay grounded when it comes to pursuing your goals. Keep in mind that a little goes a long way and adding just a few drops to your favorite carrier oil for a foot rub can be just what you need to gain a sense of safety within your body and the world.
SACRAL CHAKRA
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The sacral chakra, also known as Svadhishthana, is located a few inches below the navel and is associated with the emotions, creativity, and sensuality. Physiologically, this chakra is associated with the reproductive system. It represents the element of water and is known as a more feminine energy center. The way that we relate to others is dictated by how balanced the sacral chakra. Symptoms of an imbalanced sacral chakra include codependent relationships with people or substances, being overly emotional or completely numb to your feelings, overindulging in sexual fantasy, and even lacking a sex drive altogether.
This sacral chakra is associated with how we experience pleasure. For many people, there is a lot of shame surrounding sexual desire and even just enjoyment. If you have a hard time letting loose, you may need to bring this chakra back into balance. Ylang Ylang is a dense, sweet, floral scent known to be an aphrodisiac and is popularly used in many perfumes. This essential oil, paired with a carrier oil, can be used for womb massages to get the energy in your sacral chakra flowing properly. It can also be used to get you and bae in the mood for some sexual healing.
SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA
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The solar plexus chakra, also known as Manipura, is located in the upper part of your stomach where your diaphragm rests. This chakra is associated with digestive system and metabolism. Its element is fire and it is often associated with the Sun. The Solar Plexus governs your will power, confidence, and independence. Imbalances in this chakra can result in a misuse of your personal power through manipulative or abusive tactics (on the opposite end of the spectrum, this can manifest as a sense of helplessness and irresponsibility), a lack of clear direction and purpose in your life, and making a shit ton of plans that you can't seem to practically follow through on.
When this chakra is balanced, we are typically capable of achieving our goals more easily because we feel capable of doing so. Self-esteem is associated with the solar plexus and without it, none of your dreams will be actualized. If you find it difficult really going after what you want in life because the voice in your head is constantly trying to bring you down to size, you could benefit from balancing this chakra. Bergamot, a citrus fragrance, can be used to revitalize your energy and boost your spirit. I personally like burning this in oil in a diffuser or making a homemade spray that I can use whenever I need a pick-me-up.
HEART CHAKRA
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The heart chakra, also known as Anahata, is located in the middle of the chest. Physiologically, this chakra governs the lungs and cardiac system. The primary functions the heart chakra serve are compassion, forgiveness, and love for self and others. When this particular chakra is healthy, we have an easy time receiving and giving love to others. This serves as your sense of connection to the people in your life. However, when the heart chakra is out of balance, you may have a tendency to hold onto grudges, feel extremely jealous, and even completely withdraw yourself into isolation due to fear of being hurt or seen in a more vulnerable space.
This particular chakra is important as it serves as the link between the lower and upper chakras, helping us to integrate the spiritual and physical experiences more effortlessly. If you find yourself living in one dimension more than the other, this can signify an imbalance in the heart chakra. As you begin to balance this energy center, you'll feel more meaningful relationships due to your ability to look beyond your ego. When we are living from the heart, we transcend the limitations of our identity and recognize the common thread between all of humanity. This ultimately increases your capacity to love unconditionally. Rose oil is one of the most common scents used as the fragrant flower is often associated with purity and love. Put a few drops of rose or jasmine oil in your bath for the perfect self-love ritual. If you're feeling witchy, try doing this on a Friday (the day of the week associated with Venus—planet of love).
THROAT CHAKRA
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The throat chakra, also known as Vishuddha, is located at the base of the throat. It is related to the element of sound, driving our communication and personal expression. This particular chakra is associated with the mouth, jaw, and thyroid and it's also linked to the shoulders and neck. Characteristics of the throat chakra include the propensity to express your truth, your ability to bring forth creative ideas to reality, and realizing your purpose in life. Both the throat and sacral chakras are naturally connected as the sacral houses the emotions and creativity, while the throat chakra actually gets it out there.
When this chakra is out of balance, it can manifest as dishonesty, shyness, and a lack of connection to your purpose. On the opposite end of the spectrum, this imbalance can result in an inability to listen to others due to excessive talking and not being able to hold water, as my grandmother would say. Peppermint oil can be used to stimulate this chakra while lavender can be used to calm it. Try making your own anointing oil by setting some intentions for how you would like to communicate. Whenever you have an important conversation, meeting, or interview, dab a little bit of your oil on your throat to help you express yourself clearly and gracefully.
THIRD EYE CHAKRA
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The third eye chakra, also known as Ajna, is located on the forehead between the eyebrows. It is commonly associated with intuition and foresight, governing the way that we perceive the world. This is probably one of the most well-known chakras, given its notoriety within various spiritual communities and conspiracy theorists alike. Physiologically, it governs the pineal gland which regulates our biorhythms, including both sleeping and waking times. This particular chakra is a key player in activating spiritual awareness and, in some cases, clairvoyance.
When in balance, this chakra helps us perceive the world beyond the veil, granting us access to deep wisdom and insight. It is often the guiding light when things don't make much sense in the physical world and it can serve as a powerful tool during times of transition or the unknown. When your third eye is out of balance, you may feel stuck in the mundane day-to-day activities of life with little to no capability of seeing the bigger picture. There may also be a lack of clarity and inability to tap into the vision for your life. You may also have a tendency to reject any and everything spiritual. When this chakra is overactive, you may fall into the trap of fantasies that easily classify as delusions. It's important that your lower chakras, particularly your root chakra, is stable as you attempt to open yourself up more psychically. Frankincense, commonly referenced in the Bible, is a woody aroma that can be used to activate your third eye chakra. You can either burn some incense or meditate with a chakra candle to help you develop your inner guidance.
CROWN CHAKRA
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The crown chakra, also known as Sahasrara, is located at the top of your head. It governs your connection to higher states of consciousness radiating outwards into the ethers to receive insight from God/Spirit/the Universe. This chakra is associated with the hypothalamus and pituitary glands which regulate the endocrine system. Due to its placement, the crown chakra is associated with the brain and nervous system as well.
When in balance, we can experience the blissful ecstasy that is felt when we're essentially at one with God and all that is.
When the crown chakra is out of balance, it can manifest as being disconnected from Spirit and overly critical of anything not rooted in the material plane. On the other hand, an overactive crown chakra can result in being way too in your head and not grounded in reality. There could even be a bit of an obsession with spiritual matters, causing extreme disinterest in your day-to-day routines. Cedarwood is a rich, woody aroma that the ancient Egyptians used in their spiritual practices as it helps keep you grounded as you activate higher states of consciousness.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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You Don’t Have To Choose: How Black Women Can Care For Others Without Self-Sacrifice
One of the primary instructions we receive before a flight takes off is to prioritize putting on your life vest first if there’s an emergency, even before assisting others. It’s funny how this rule rarely translates to the daily routine of women.
As women we are taught, directly and indirectly, to put others first. Whether it’s our romantic partners, kids, parents, friends, or even our jobs. Mental health survivor and founder of Sista Afya Community Care, Camesha Jones-Brandon is challenging that narrative by using her platform to advocate for Black women and their right to self-care.
Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
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“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
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While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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