

The relationship between the Cancer man and the Libra woman is a bittersweet fairy tale. Libra women are the princesses of the zodiac whereas your typical Cancer man is the proverbial "Prince Charming." In the early stages of her relationship with a Cancer man, a Libra woman feels like she's finally found her prince; a charming gentleman who appreciates her inherent value physically, intellectually, and emotionally.
Libra women tend to attract men drawn only to their looks and surface-level attributes, men who see her as a challenge to be conquered. In contrast, her Cancer suitor is refreshing in that he doesn't see her as a mere conquest, he wants to wife her. Libras have extremely discriminating tastes in men and are hesitant to settle down until they've met who they perceive to be the perfect one. The man who wins her heart will have to exercise plenty of patience and will have to put in the work to win her for the long haul!
Interestingly enough, Cancer men are turned off by women they perceive to be "easy." Cancer men love a challenge and want to view the woman they settle down with as a much-desired prize. Both Libra and Cancer, in the initial stages of attraction, fit extremely well into what they each want as both short-term and long-term partners.
This astrological pairing has the foundation needed for a strong love story.
However, as is the case with all fairy tales, there are major roadblocks that need to be overcome before these two can ever reach their happily ever after.
Cancer Man And Libra Woman Love Compatibility
What attracts a Cancer man and a Libra woman to each other?
Cancer men are drawn to the effortless sex appeal of the flirty Libra. Libra women ooze femininity and Cancer men find this extremely attractive. Even dressed down, Libra women have a magnetic aura that draws men to them. Libra women are the personification of the infamous Drake line:
" Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on/That's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong"
Turned off by aggressive and overtly sexual women, Libra has the kind of unassuming, girl-next-door beauty that Cancer men are typically attracted to. Similarly, Libra women can easily find a sense of security and stability with her Cancer mate who, like her, is ultimately seeking a long-term partnership. Libra is comforted by Cancer's traditional values, emotional sensitivity, deep respect and appreciation for her. This is one relationship where Libra won't feel like any aspect of herself is being taken for granted!
Cancer is attracted to Libra's light and breezy demeanor. The male crab is put off by fiery, confrontational women. Libra's peaceable, congenial nature is extremely attractive and soothing to the highly-sensitive crab. Likewise, Libra is deeply drawn to Cancer's gentlemanly, considerate and soft-natured personality. She is pulled in by his sensitivity, feeling compelled to nurture him. Cancer's vulnerability creates a soft spot in Libra's heart for him.
What is sex like between a Cancer man and a Libra woman?
Sexually, Cancer men are attracted to assertive partners who don't mind taking control in the bedroom. He loves a woman who is free and won't hesitate to get on top and take control of her sexuality and orgasm. He is a giving lover who takes his woman's pleasure very seriously, especially when it comes to oral! He is naturally attracted to breasts and isn't squeamish in his strong attraction to the female anatomy. He will quite literally worship his woman in bed!
Libra is extremely sexually open, free and loves variety. She is uninhibited and loves trying new tricks in the bedroom. She is aroused by her mate's sexual desire and feeds off of Cancer's intense passion for her. Libra has no tolerance for monotonous or boring sex. In contrast, Cancer, while highly sexual and deeply emotional, is happy with a routine sex life.
Overall, there is a comfortable, invigorating synergy between both signs sexually.
What is a relationship like between a Cancer man and a Libra woman?
The Cancer man wants to settle down with a deeply empathetic partner. Cancer finds the most comfort in a motherly figure who is happy to provide for and cater to him while emotionally affirming him and encouraging his growth. Cancer men have no qualms about getting involved with older women; and, quite frankly, that may be the most appropriate and fulfilling dynamic for him.
The Libra woman needs a keen, patient listener who she can constantly bounce ideas off of. She needs intellectual stimulation and plenty of new experiences in life. She hates feeling bored or tied down in relationships and needs a life filled with beautiful experiences and surroundings. She is intensely empathetic to the mistreatment of others and may even find herself fighting for a cause. She roots for the underdog always because injustice affects her deeply.
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What may cause a Libra woman and a Cancer man to break up?
The Cancer male, who errs on the jealous side, may find himself feeling insecure by the attention his flirty Libra woman always seems to attract. Not one to be ill-mannered, Libra refuses to curtly rebuff male suitors, opting instead to politely (or even apologetically!) decline advances.
Libra's naturally social and flirty attitude to others can bruise Cancer's fragile ego. He feels she's "too nice" to other men and sends mixed messages to them. To him, she's impossible to pin down! Cancer feels disrespected by Libra's pleasantries, perceiving it as a lack of loyalty. Cancer's insecurities are deeply triggered, causing him to clam up and brood silently - much to the bewilderment of Libra.
In contrast, easy-breezy Libra is constantly weighing the pros and cons of a potential mate before settling down. She refuses to allow herself to be tied down to the wrong person. She values her independence and freedom. While deeply empathetic, she doesn't have the time or the patience for what she deems to be unreasonable and immature emotional responses.
To add fuel to the fire, indecisive Libra is always looking for any hints of incompatibility in relationships; and at the first hint of conflict or unpleasantry, she is inclined to detach from it. She may easily find herself repulsed by Cancer's jealousy and resentful nature. Turned off, she won't hesitate to leave the relationship altogether.
Unevolved Cancer is jealous and possessive. When he develops a strong bond with someone, he holds onto that bond for life. Sensing Libra's flirtatious nature, Cancer may shut down and remove Libra from the running, doubting her trustworthiness and loyalty.
Cancer's moodiness tends to throw Libra off-balance and Libra's flightiness triggers Cancer's deep insecurities.
Cancer Man Libra Woman Summary
A relationship between a Cancer man and a Libra woman has the foundation needed for a successful relationship, so long as certain critical pitfalls are avoided.
Cancer needs to be aware of his tendency toward jealousy and possessiveness. He has to feel secure enough within himself and his relationship to allow her plenty of room and freedom to express herself in the way that feels most natural to her, without doubting her loyalty.
In turn, Libra has to get rid of her deep fear of conflict and must be willing to compromise and be considerate of the effects her flirtiness has on her partner. She needs to practice gently confronting and addressing what she perceives to be Cancer's clingy and insecure behavior in order to reach a mutual understanding.
Once these major issues are addressed, Libra and Cancer can happily ride off into the sunset as romantic life partners - enjoying a relationship filled with empathy, peace, beautiful experiences and harmony.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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