No matter what your personal or spiritual views are on sex, I think if there's one thing that we all can agree on, it's the fact that if anyone should be gettin' it in, hot 'n heavy and on the regular, it's married folks. Yet, as a marriage life coach, I can tell you that most of the married clients that I have? They've got less than stellar sex lives when it comes to the kind (off the charts) and consistency (more than once every 6-8 weeks or so). Why is that?
I think a lot of it all points back to their wedding night. Did you know that reportedly only 48 percent of couples copulate on the same day that they say "I do"? Somehow, they make sure that their outfits are flawless, the DJ has an unbelievable playlist and the napkins on the tables match, yet somehow, once the wedding and reception is over, sex is not a top priority. Here's the thing about that. The word "consummate"? It means "to complete (an arrangement, agreement, or the like) by a pledge or the signing of a contract", "to complete (the union of a marriage) by the first marital sexual intercourse" and "to bring to a state of perfection; fulfill". This means that a marriage can be annulled if two people have not consummated their union (had sex after getting married). Back in the old school Jewish days, a reception didn't even get underway until the bride and groom went into a back room and had sex first. Why? Because only after sex/consummation were they considered to be "truly married".
My point? Sex is a big freakin' deal in a marital union, from the very day two people decide to become life partners. Yet unfortunately, there are way too many people who seem to agree with (or at least act like) the results of a survey I read on married sex—"6 out of 10 couples stated that marriage had completely ruined the excitement of having sex." (Wow and SMH.)
So, in honor of the beauty of marriage and the powerful-and-still-extremely-relevant purpose that sex serves in it, I wanted to take out some time to share 10 reasons why every married person reading this should be taking full advantage of their bed and the spouse that they share it with, just as often as they possibly can.
1. Sex Cultivates Oneness
It's always interesting to me whenever church folks try and say that the main purpose of sex in marriage is procreation. While that is a purpose (and benefit), there is something that came first in the Bible. What is it? Oneness—"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." (Genesis 2:24-25—NKJV) If you pay close attention to how things went down in the Garden of Eden, Adam and the Woman (her name wasn't "Eve" until after they left the garden—Genesis 3:20), while it does appear that they had sex, they didn't have children (that didn't happen until Genesis 4).
So yeah, oneness is what's paramount. A word that comes to mind when I think about two people becoming one through the act of sex is fusion—"the act or process of fusing or melting together; union". Union. Marital union. The tripped out thing about the fusion process is, even if you aren't big on the Bible, science backs this up too. When you get a chance, check out "We Should Really Rethink the Term 'Casual Sex'" and you'll see where I'm coming from. Singles, oxytocin is nothing to take lightly, and married folks, if you want to feel closer to your spouse, if you physically desire to "become one" with them, the transmission of oxytocin via sex is one way to make that happen.
2. Sex Is Great for Your Health
You can read articles like "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits of Sperm" and see that sex will definitely do your body good. However, even if you're not the biggest oral sex connoisseur, there are still a ton of benefits that come from sexual intercourse too. Sex reduces stress (more on that in just a sec), boosts your immune system, strengthens your pelvic floor and bladder, lowers your blood pressure, burns calories and can help to prevent prostate cancer when it comes to your hubby too. And that really is just the tip of the iceberg!
3. Sex Is the Ultimate De-Stressor
It is a proven fact that sex has a powerful way of reducing stress levels. For one thing, it releases endorphins and oxytocin so that you feel better. Sex also lowers the stress hormone cortisol in your system so that your blood pressure drops, you are less anxious, and you feel calmer. Deep breathing and climaxing also aid in making it so much easier to relax.
Being that heart disease, diabetes, headaches, depression, asthma and obesity are all health issues that are directly connected to stress, and because stress also affects our levels of productivity, concentration and effective communication, you can see why using sex to lower your stress levels is such a wise thing to do (especially morning sex!).
4. Sex Strengthens Communication
A few weeks back, I penned a piece on here about how to have a simultaneous orgasm with your partner. There are a few tips and tricks that are included; one of them is making sure that the both of you communicate with one another. What do you like? What do you want more of? What gets you there and what is a totally turn-off? (Another article that can make achieving this easier is "10 Sex Resolutions Every Married Couple Should Make".)
While it might be true that not everyone is a "dirty talker" in the bedroom, dead silence—even if it's before or after the act—isn't encouraged. For some couples, life is so hectic that the only time uninterrupted conversations can happen is in the bedroom. And sex? Sex is a form of intimacy and a gateway to feeling warmth, affection and nurturing from your partner. So, even if there's no dirty talk during, be open to some pillow talk afterwards.
Something that leads to divorce is poor communication. Something that can enhance communication is sex. This is a reality that definitely shouldn't be taken lightly.
5. Sex Is a Relational Responsibility
This is a point that gets overlooked way too much. That said, I'd venture to say that if there is one thing that having sex as a single person does, it's that it sets us up to be very sexually self-centered. For the most part, we only think about sex as it relates to what we want and our needs. But when we make the decision to join our lives with another individual, their wants and needs become extremely important too. Sex is no longer solely on our feel-like-it-only terms; in many ways, it becomes a staple and necessity in order to keep the bond between us and our spouse healthy, solid and strong.
A married guy that I interviewed last year on this very topic probably said it best: "When I was single, gettin' some was more like a challenge. Now that I'm married, it's a responsibility. It's not just about me or when I'm in the mood for it. It's about genuinely caring about the wants and needs of my partner too."
I've read before that a sexless marriage can sometimes be grounds of divorce based on what is known as "constructive abandonment" (I recently read that a lack of sex can cause a spouse to feel not only abandoned but betrayed too). So long as both people are physically able and there is no abuse involved (of any form), I can get why someone who has sex less than 10-15 times of year—especially year after year—would consider calling it quits. A sexless marriage is not a healthy one. In it, reciprocity is severely lacking. And in many ways, that is an irresponsible approach to marriage.
6. Sex Discourages Infidelity
I remember a woman once said to me that so long as you give a man two different pieces of something, he will never stray—a piece of a good meal and a piece of well, you know. Although she was married for close to two decades, she's divorced now. One reason why is because her husband ended up cheating on her. So no, by no means am I saying that sex will guarantee an infidelity-free relationship.
What I will say, though, is many husbands have told me that the difference between looking at another woman and thinking, "Hmph. She's pretty" vs. "Hmm, I wonder what she's like" is what their sex life is like at home. As one husband once said, "You tend to not want anything to eat unless you're hungry." Hey, you might want to push back on that, but most of the couples I've dealt with where infidelity was involved, very little bedroom action (on the front end) was a common thread.
Even the Bible acknowledges that sex can keep "outsiders" out of a married couple's bond. If you don't believe me, check out I Corinthians 7:1-5 sometime. It's quite…enlightening.
7. Sex Is a Source of Healing
Healing is such a soothing kind of word. It means "to make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from ailment" and "to free from evil; cleanse; purify". As I was reading an article by a licensed therapist and author entitled "The Three Kinds of Sex", healing is exactly what came to mind. Basically, what she said is "sealed-off sex" is basically about you gettin' yours, "solace sex" is sex that you have when you're looking for some type of reassurance and "synchrony sex" is the kind of sex that provides the type of wholeness, restoration and purification that married couples should strive for. It's about the kind of sex that bonds you to your partner, makes you feel safe in their presence and provides you with a combination of both eroticism and joy. It's the type of sex that makes you feel loved, desired and completely nurtured.
Who doesn't feel better—mentally, physically and emotionally—after an experience like that? And, who doesn't want to feel that way, just as much as possible?
8. Sex Is a Form of Worship
Roll your eyes if you want to, but I know married couples who say grace before engaging in sexual activity. And yes, I mean a literal, "Heavenly Father, for what we are about to partake of, we are truly grateful. Please bless this entire experience. Amen" kind of prayer. If that seems sacrilegious and if you're a believer of the Bible, I don't know how it could be because the Good Book has sex all up in it. Even if you're not religious, science co-signs on sex being a spiritual experience as well. There are studies to support that the bonding hormone oxytocin actually causes men to feel connected to a higher power whenever elevated amounts of it is in their system.
Since oxytocin is at its peak during an orgasm, sex is definitely a spiritual experience; probably one of the most powerful ones that there is. Don't @ me on this. The Bible and science have my back. There is absolutely no need.
9. Sex Conveys Love, Desire and Selflessness
I know some pretty "'bout it, 'bout it" fellas who, not only have absolutely no intentions on ever settling down, they probably couldn't figure out how many partners they've had if somebody offered them a million bucks to do so. Still, every single one of them admit that sex with someone they care about tops sex with a "random" any day of the week.
An article entitled "The Differences Between Hook-Up Sex, Marital Sex, and Making Love" sheds some light into why. According to the author, with hook-ups, it's all about using someone else's body for your own pleasure; marital sex comes from a place of emotional connection and intimacy (although conflicts and disagreements can sometimes get in the way), and making love is "…when you treat each other as equal human beings within your daily relationship, and you're transparent about your inner life and emotions, you automatically feel more stimulation and excitement with each other. When you feel connected as equals and yet engage each other as separate, distinct individuals as well, that generates new energy and it enhances the sexual energy between the two of you."
I think the reason why virtually all of us prefer sex in a committed relationship is because when someone stands before you and declares that they've got your back, through thick and thin, no matter what, there's a safety in that. It goes beyond desire, to love and the purest form of selflessness. Commitment doesn't get any realer than when it comes to marriage.
10. Sex Can Get You Through “It”
Another interesting read on the topic of married sex is "How Often Married Couples Have Sex After 5, 10, 20, 30 Years Together". There is a wide range of answers, for sure. As I was reading that some couples still get it on 3-4 times a week, even after many years have passed, I thought about what I tell husbands and wives in my sessions—"With all of the responsibility that comes with marriage, married folks deserve sex!" Do you know what a lot of them tell me in response? Sometimes it's the pure pleasure of sex that gets them through the tough times.
"I've never understood why wives will withhold sex to make a point," one wife said to me. "Sounds to me like the sex isn't that good because if there's one thing I'm not gonna do in my marriage bed is deprive myself of what goes on up in there!" Good for her.
And when you think of all that was shared about marital sex in this lil' write-up, hopefully more of you can relate to what she said than not. Again, if sex is for anyone, it's married folks. It's pleasurable. It's fulfilling. It's also extremely necessary. For all of these reasons and more.
Wives (and husbands) reading this, from the very bottom of my heart, GET. YOURS. OFTEN.
Trust me, if I was married, I would be. Straight up.
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Featured image by Getty Images.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at email@example.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
With two Eclipses happening this month, this is one of the powerhouse months of 2023 and one that will be unforgettable for many. The month begins in Libra Season, and with Mercury also entering Libra on October 4th. When Mercury is in Libra, the focus is on keeping the peace, creating harmony, and finding the beauty in life. Relationships, finances, pleasure, and creation are all the focus during Libra Season, and this month overall will be creating a lot of positive change in these areas of life.
What October 2023 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
On October 8th, Venus moves into earth sign Virgo, and love takes on a more serious and grounded tone here. Venus in Virgo has high standards and wants the best of the best. There is a possibility of becoming overly critical in love or relationships with this energy, however overall, Venus in Virgo will be focused on letting go of unhealthy behaviors in love and creating more positive ways of relating, giving, and receiving in relationships. A few days later, Pluto goes direct in Capricorn after going retrograde in Aquarius back in May, and fewer power struggles and obstacles are more likely.
With Pluto direct in Capricorn, it is easier to reach your goals, build success, and see your own self-empowerment in it all.
On October 12th, Mars enters Scorpio, and Mars loves being in this water sign as it’s the ruler of Scorpio. Mars in Scorpio is passionate and direct and heats things up when it comes to your relationships. Mars will be in Scorpio until November 24th, and a spark is definitely being lit. A few days later, we have a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Libra.
This Solar Eclipse is creating a fresh start in love, but may also be bringing things to the forefront that are uncomfortable to see. A Solar Eclipse in Libra is relationship-oriented, and this is where you will be seeing the most impact now.
Before the month ends, Mercury enters Scorpio on October 22nd, Scorpio Season begins on the 23rd, and there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Taurus on October 28th. The end of October is when a lot of big moves are being made, and transformations are occurring, and it’s about letting go of baggage before moving forward again. The Lunar Eclipse in Taurus is another eclipse that has an impact on relationships, as both Libra and Taurus are ruled by Venus, the planet of love.
Through what is changing and transforming in some of your close relationships, this energy suggests there is greater love on the other side of it. Find gratitude in where you are, and stand in hope and self-belief for where you want to be.
Your October 2023 Monthly Horoscopes
ARIESAriesKyra Jay for xoNecole
Your strength is needed this month, Aries. During October, the Sun is in Libra, meaning the Sun is in your 7th house. The 7th house is the house of love and relationships, but it’s also the house of open enemies and opposition. This month, you will be finding your balance between the opening you are seeing in your life right now and what still needs to be built.
On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in this area of your chart, the 7th house, and this is an impactful time for you emotionally. The intentions you have been setting in your love life and financially are creating a new scene for you. This is a good month to do more of the things that make you happy, to get creative, and to notice the beauty in your life. Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Mars, moves into your 8th house, and things get deep and even more emotional for you moving into November.
TAURUSTaurusKyra Jay for xoNecole
October is a month of reflection for you, Taurus. There is a lot happening this month and a lot happening for you personally, yet you are taking the time to tend to your inner world and recreate your safe spaces. With Venus in a fellow earth sign and in your 5th house of romance for most of this month, you will be sure to have plenty of love in your life to help you through some of the downtime you are getting in October.
Mars moves into your house of love on October 12th, and this is heating things up for you in your relationships and sex life. Fuel your passions and notice what is lighting you up inside right now. Before the month ends, on October 28th, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign, and you are going through some major life changes. You are closing one chapter of your life of self-discovery and moving forward with a new view of yourself and the world around you.
GEMINIGeminiKyra Jay for xoNecole
This month is all about letting go, Gemini. You are moving through a time of releasing what has been filling your world with more chaos and confusion than clarity and are paving a new path for yourself. Your ruling planet, Mercury, is in your house of happiness for most of this month, and you are really thinking of the things that your heart wants and expressing yourself through this space of openness as well. Communication channels are exciting for you this month.
On October 14th, the New Moon Eclipse will be highlighting all of the energy of love you have been feeling this month and will be helping you hone in on your creative passions and hobbies as well. This month is surprising you on how well things turn out when you let go of what isn’t working. The second eclipse of the month is on the 28th, and this one for you is about laying the past to rest once and for all and giving yourself time to heal and process.
CANCERCancerKyra Jay for xoNecole
October is an activating month for you, Cancer. There are some eye-opening moments happening, and a lot of things are coming to a head. The energy of the month is about letting things find their place and allowing yourself to be okay in the process. Venus is in your 3rd house of communication for most of this month, and you will be able to communicate more freely how you are feeling and what you need in your relationships right now.
With the Sun in Libra and in your 4th house for most of October, home is really where the heart is right now. Spending time in comfortable environments where you feel the most at ease is nourishing. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your 11th house of community, and things are coming full circle for you. Lean on your support systems and community for an extra hand, and know that you deserve to take up space.
LEOLeoKyra Jay for xoNecole
This is a month of things moving forward for you, Leo. Patience is still needed, as things may not be moving as quickly as expected, however, they are moving nonetheless, and you are leaving the space of stagnation you have been feeling the past couple of months. Openings are coming into your life, and with Venus now in your 2nd house, you are able to capitalize on what you have been investing in and claim your abundance.
The Solar Eclipse happening mid-month will be awakening something within you when it comes to expressing yourself. You are breaking free from fears, limitations, and self-judgments and seeing yourself as someone who deserves to be heard. The Sun is also in this area of your chart until the end of the month, and you have all the support from the universe right now to speak up and speak your truths.
VIRGOVirgoKyra Jay for xoNecole
October is a month of blessings for you, Virgo. This year has been a year of a lot of ups and downs for you, and in the second half of this year, you really get to settle into more stability and positive fruition. You are being guided to use your instincts wisely this month, however, so as to keep blessings rolling. Your ruling planet, Mercury, will be in your 2nd house of income for most of the month, as well as the Sun, and financially, this is a really good month for you.
On October 8th, Venus moves into your sign, and you are receiving and feeling the love right now. Venus will be in your sign until November 8th, and over the next month, this is a good time for your relationships and business, receiving positive feedback, and putting yourself out there. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening in your 9th house of adventure, and you could be seeing some travel or education plans coming to fruition now. You are really ready to enjoy how far you have come this month.
LIBRALibraKyra Jay for xoNecole
This month is all about creating your dreams, Libra. This is an exciting month for you and one where you are healing your inner child, gaining a new perspective, and manifesting your life. Libra Season is fully underway, and this is an impactful Libra Season for you, as there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your sign on the 14th. This Solar Eclipse is your time to shine, to bring your dreams to the forefront, and to let go of the past that doesn’t resonate with you anymore. It’s all about the vision this month; focus on the best one for yourself.
With the Sun and Mercury in your 1st house of self for most of the month and Venus in your 12th house of closures, you are finding your balance between the new and the old. You know there is a lot to release emotionally in your life still, but you are also giving yourself the space and freedom to soak in the good that has already arrived and making you happy right now. On October 23rd, Libra Season ends, and you are ready to focus more on your plans for the future.
SCORPIOScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecole
October is a month of rebirth for you, Scorpio. This is one of the most powerful months for you and one where you are starting fresh in many ways. Mercury is in your house of endings for most of the month, and your mind is focused on your spirituality, finding solutions, and letting go of perspectives and habits that don’t serve you or your health. Through the transformations that are occurring right now, new life is coming to fruition.
Mars and Mercury both enter your sign before Scorpio Season begins on the 23rd, and by the end of October, the energy moves from release to receive. You have more energy at your disposal when Mars is in your sign, and you are moving through a time of passion, action, and making things happen for yourself. This Scorpio Season for you is one where you are creating a new life for yourself and following the dreams you left to the wayside.
SAGITTARIUSSagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecole
Sagittarius, October is all about the heart and about showing up. This month for you is a time of support, friendship, and community, and a time where you are really discovering who your people are. You are awakening to what your inner child needs to heal and are seeking forgiveness this month. This is a time for you to move toward a new path in your life, one that feels more fulfilling for you and your well-being.
Venus is in Virgo and in your 10th house of career this month, and you are seeing some positive changes within your professional world. You are being received especially favorably right now, and this is a good month to ask for a promotion, network, or redefine your career goals. On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your 11th house, and your hopes and dreams are coming true for you. The clarity you gain this month is life-changing.
CAPRICORNCapricornKyra Jay for xoNecole
This month is all about patience, finding your peace, and exploring the world, Capricorn. You are focusing a lot on your belief systems, your intentions, and what goals you have set for yourself and your life. Venus is in your 9th house of adventure for most of the month, and you are really thinking about the big picture right now. You are doing more things differently this time of the year, thinking outside of the box and allowing your intentions to come to fruition.
On October 10th, Pluto goes direct in your sign. Pluto retrograde entered your sign in June, and you finally get to settle into the transformations that have been occurring since then. You’ve had a lot of moments of self-clarity and change, but now you are ready to live in this space and experience fewer changes to your environment. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Eclipse happening, and this Lunar Eclipse is a time of love coming full circle for you. Relationships are developing at the end of October, and you are letting go of the past in love.
AQUARIUSAquariusKyra Jay for xoNecole
October is all about allowing life to unfold effortlessly, Aquarius. The path of least resistance is the most rewarding one, and this month, you are tapping into your inner faith. You have truly been trusting the process, and with the Sun in your 9th house for most of the month, the divine guidance is there for you right now. This month is about trusting that things are coming together for you and enjoying your life how you can right now.
On October 14th, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening, and this eclipse is helping you build new foundations in your life. You have goals you want to set, places you want to see, and people you want to meet, and this eclipse is highlighting all of that for you. The second eclipse of the month is happening on the 28th, and this Lunar Eclipse is about letting things settle in, finding your ground, and nourishing your inner world. You are going within a lot this month, and through the new insight you have found, you are ready to make some concrete decisions that have been needed.
PISCESPiscesKyra Jay for xoNecole
October is a time of compassion, nurture, and love, Pisces. You are putting the love into your life and feeling this energy come back to you as well. Venus is in Virgo, your opposite sign, for most of the month, and this is good energy when it comes to your relationships and your love life. Your focus is on the people in your life and where you want things to grow in love, and you are putting in the effort to make your dreams come true for you here.
With the Sun also in your 8th house of commitments for most of the month, another love area of your chart, you can expect this to be a more emotional month for you. You are getting vulnerable, expressing where you stand, and creating a new slate for yourself in love. On October 28th, there is a Full Moon Eclipse happening in your 3rd house of communication, and the messages and insights you have been looking for are coming in.
The end of the month is a busier time for you, and you will be suddenly seeing everything you want to do and plan right now.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole