October is a month of balance. With some energy moving direct and some energy moving retrograde, there is a middle ground to find this month between what is unfolding and what you are letting go. The month begins with Mercury officially moving out of retrograde and going direct in Virgo. Mercury this month is cleaning house and sprucing things up after the somewhat tyrant energy it’s brought over the past few weeks. Now that Mercury is direct, there is less interruption when it comes to daily flow and plans, and this is a good month to start setting things into motion.
On October 9th, there is a Full Moon in Aries, which is the Hunter’s Moon of the year. This Full Moon is cleaning what is in the way towards your direction and positive movement forward and is a time of building momentum. The Moon in Aries is feisty, and this is a passionate Full Moon. Both Pluto and Saturn go direct this month after being retrograde for the past few months. Pluto will be direct in Capricorn on October 8th and Saturn goes direct in Aquarius on October 23rd, what this means for the collective is fewer power struggles and more opportunities to come together.
Toward the end of the month, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in Scorpio on October 25th, and it’s as magical as it sounds. This Solar Eclipse is a time of emotional rejuvenation and transformation, and new doors are opening. Jupiter retrograde in Aries moves into Pisces on October 28th and is taking some heat off fire and air signs, and impacting water and earth signs more now. Jupiter retrograde in Pisces asks you to check in with your modes of healing, spirituality, and emotional regulation and to make sure your beliefs are stronger than your doubts.
As the month comes to an end, the infamous Mars in Gemini transit makes some moves and goes retrograde from October 30th until January 12, 2023. Mars retrograde in Gemini is wildcard energy and it’s best to remain flexible with what’s occurring at this time. Things are up in the air and Mars is giving you the clarity on what to grab ahold of or where to redirect your energy. October is a time of new beginnings and a change of pace.
Aries Horoscope for October 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are reaching a pinnacle of achievement this month, Aries. October is a month of evolution as you move into the next chapter in your life. You have been through a time of growth and have turned your challenges into stepping stones to your success. With Jupiter retrograde moving out of your sign this month, you are getting a weight lifted off your shoulders and a helping hand when you least expect it.
The Full Moon happening this month will be in your sign on October 9th. This Full Moon is a time of re-energizing your spirit, and renewal. Take some time for yourself this day, relax, and gather your strength. You deserve a moment to just be and breathe before you walk into the new doors that are opening for you now. This month is all about living in your empowerment and aligning with your synergy, Aries.
Taurus Horoscope for October 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about getting out of your head and into the moment, Taurus. Your guidance for the month is to focus on the bigger picture, connect with the heart spaces, and take note of the gifts in your world. You are solving some puzzles in your life this month and coming to your own conclusions rather than letting anyone else form them for you. This is a month of learning more about where you stand and where you want to continue to plant your roots.
There is a New Moon Solar Eclipse happening in your opposite sign Scorpio before the month ends and this is an awakening time for you in love. You are gaining clarity on how your heart is expanding right now, by the reflection you are seeing in others. There is playfulness, love, and connection that wants to come into your life more this month but it’s all about perspective and seeing the opportunities in your life.
Gemini Horoscope for October 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about reclaiming your power, Gemini. This month you are being reminded of the power you hold as a creator in your life, and that the value you hold for yourself, sends out energy externally. Use your time and energy wisely, and remember that you always deserve a seat at the table. With your ruling planet Mercury moving direct at the start of the month, you are moving through October with new experiences and wisdom unfolding for you.
Saturn officially moves direct on the 23rd the same day Scorpio Season begins, and travel plans, opportunities for adventure, and aligning with the higher self are all coming through for you. Mars in Gemini makes its significant transit at the end of the month and goes retrograde in your sign on October 30th until January 12, 2023, and you are entering a major growth spurt of learning more about yourself, your goals, and the direction you are headed right now.
Cancer Horoscope for October 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThings are moving full speed ahead for you this month, Cancer. October is a month of opportunities for you, and you have the Midas Touch right now. This is the month to fuel your spirit, and to follow through on some dreams you have been looking to come to fruition. With Mercury officially moving out of retrograde at the beginning of the month, you are able to get the message across right now and are putting your best foot forward this month.
There is a Solar Eclipse happening in your fellow water sign, Scorpio, on the 25th, and this Solar Eclipse is opening up a new chapter in your life when it comes to your happiness. This Eclipse is here to highlight where your heart is, what is making you happy, and where you truly feel free in your life. With Jupiter retrograde moving into Pisces a few days later and into your 9th house of adventure, you are being guided to be flexible this month and remain open to the possibilities you encounter.
Leo Horoscope for October 2022
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a month of rejuvenation for you, Leo. After somewhat of a chaotic past few months, the fog is clearing and you are seeing things in a new light. This month is a time of being recognized for the beauty and creativity you inspire in this world and it’s about allowing yourself to receive love right now. You have given so much to others recently and this is beautiful, but this month you are being reminded to allow others to share that love with you as well.
The New Moon Solar Eclipse this month is happening in your 4th house of home, family, and foundations, and you are seeing breakthroughs here. Over the next six months, you are going to be entering a new stage of your life when it comes to those closest to your heart, and the places that make you feel at home. By the end of the month, Jupiter retrograde enters Pisces, and you are leaving the month thinking about the commitments that are being formed in your life at this time.
Virgo Horoscope for October 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVirgo, this month is all about flying high and being the leader of your life. You are rising above any previous chaos or challenges that Mercury retrograde has brought into your life, and experiencing a new sense of freedom this month. With Mercury going direct on October 2nd and being direct in your sign until October 10th, you are entering the month seeing things come full circle and a positive change of pace in your life. There are less roadblocks on your journey moving forward, and things are flowing your way.
With the energy moving into Scorpio towards the second half of the month and the attention moving towards your house of communication, self-expression is key in October. This month you are getting the messages and answers you have been looking for, and it’s making it easier to communicate and express yourself. New connections are coming into your life this month, and these are situations you have been hoping for. Remember that you deserve to take up space this month, Virgo.
Libra Horoscope for October 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour season is here, beautiful Libra, and this is your time! Libra Season is in full swing as you enter October, and with Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month after being retrograde in your sign and in Virgo, you out of most really benefit from this change of pace. The mind is clearing, opportunities are popping up, and plans are falling into place. There have been some adjustments and reworking in your life, but this month you are seeing how your plans and intentions have worked out for the best for everyone involved.
The Full Moon this month is happening in your opposite sign, Aries, on October 9th, and will be highlighting your 7th house of love. You are closing one chapter in this area of your life during the Full Moon, and preparing for the new. As you have been regrouping and gathering your strength, in mid-October you are ready to let go of anything holding you back from truly experiencing partnership, unconditional love, and everything you need in a relationship, and you are making space for new experiences in love.
Scorpio Horoscope for October 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about balance for you, Scorpio. You have been learning a lot about perspective this year and how one thought can change things for you both positively and negatively, and this month you are experiencing the final lessons of this chapter. This is a month of being a master of your reality and creating the circumstances you want for yourself. There is a divine coming together happening in October, and there is a lot of beauty and magic to enjoy in your life this month as the energy moves into your sign.
Venus enters your sign and Scorpio Season also begins on the same day, on October 23rd. With the Sun and Venus coming together and shining just for you, you have a lot of love coming your way this month and you have taken the time over the past few months to clear your energy, making space to receive this love and empowerment in your life. Before the month ends there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in your sign on October 28th, and you are experiencing major breakthroughs and epiphanies in your life.
Sagittarius Horoscope for October 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is bringing a windfall of blessings into your life, Sagittarius. October is a special month for you as the intentions you have been setting come to fruition in your life and you gain a new sense of stability. One door opening is leading to many other positive experiences for you, and the more you keep up this energy in your life and believe you are worthy of this good, the more it can enter.
With Saturn officially going direct this month after being retrograde in the area of your life having to do with home and family over the past few months, you are finally getting the opportunities to ground your energy and spend peaceful time in your safe spaces. Find your center, and remember to reach out to others when you need to. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 25th, and this time for you is all about healing, finding the middle ground, and releasing what doesn’t serve you in this next phase of life.
Capricorn Horoscope for October 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you, Capricorn. You are at the beginning stages of some important chapters of your life, and this month is an opening to those experiences. Over the past few months with your ruling planet Saturn in retrograde, you have been cracked open and awakening to something beautiful. The vulnerability and grace you have shown yourself even through times when it was hard to see the light, is commendable.
Pluto has been retrograde in your sign since April 29th and finally goes direct this month on October 8th. You are going through the stages of rebirth as you get out of your shell more this month, and let the world see the growth you have been through. Instead of looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, you realized you were the light yourself, and October is about shining that light, Capricorn.
Aquarius Horoscope for October 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month you are being guided to breathe, and take it one day at a time, Aquarius. This is a month of divine intervention, and situations are moving around to create a better circumstance for yourself. With Saturn moving Retrograde in your sign over the past few months, you’ve gotten a look at things from a higher perspective. Some adjustments and rebuilding were necessary, but you were able to live your life on your own terms rather than according to anyone else’s plan.
October is a month all about being the creator of your life and rewriting your story. With Saturn officially moving out of retrograde and going direct in Aquarius on October 23rd, you get to enjoy the benefits of task-master Saturn for the rest of the year, and there is a sense of achievement and empowerment with you moving forward. Use this month to finalize plans, tie up any loose ends, and get things sorted out.
Pisces Horoscope for October 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a time of paving new paths for yourself in life, Pisces. With all of the activity going on in the sky this month, you are finding your way. Mercury retrograde officially goes direct at the beginning of the month, and you get a breath of fresh air in regards to love. Relationship matters start to move more smoothly over the month after a time of Mercury retrograde helping you gain the full picture here.
With a New Moon Solar Eclipse in fellow water sign Scorpio happening this month, you are seeing some massive changes in your life as you move more into the month. The Solar Eclipse happening in October will be moving through your 9th house of adventure and some big plans and intentions you have set for the year are being seen through at this time. Your guidance for the month is to stay focused on what you are creating, and believe in yourself.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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I’m not saying that your vagina doesn’t like it. I’m simply saying that it goes through a lot during those moments of copulation — and sometimes, it’s without the pre- (check out “15 Pre-Sex Rituals That Could Make Sex A LOT More Pleasurable”) and post-care that it not only needs but truly deserves.
So, in honor of all that our vagina’s go through during coitus, I wanted to shout out four things that you should do for “her” before you have sex and four other things that you should do once the get down is over — things that will make her (and ultimately you) feel so much better about what transpires…during.
Before Sex Tip #1: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Shave
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My waxer and I are going to come to low-key blows in a minute if she doesn’t keep trying to take more and more hair away from my pubic mound. LOL. Me? I’m someone who likes my bikini line to be cleaned up; however, I prefer to not go completely bald. If you’re someone who is on the fence, something that may sway you over to my side of things is the fact that there is plenty of data out here that says pubic hair can help to decrease your chances of contracting an STI/STD.
One reason is that hair (everywhere) helps to protect you. Another is because, if you happen to shave or wax and then have sex 12-24 hours later, and your partner does have an STI/STD, there could be mild abrasions or cuts that could make it easier for what they have to be transmitted to you.
Listen, I’m all about a well-manicured treasure box happening — just make sure that you “handle that” a couple of days before sex…not mere hours before.
Before Sex Tip #2: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Avoid Washing Your Hands
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It’s kind of hard to have sex without using your hands. That said, if fingers are gonna be all up and around “her,” they need to be as clean as possible, so that bacteria doesn’t end up pissing her off. This means that if your nails are long, you need to use a nail brush to dig up underneath them. This means that if he goes to the bathroom right before coming into the bedroom, he should wash his hands.
This also means that if you like to be on the adventurous side and bring “sex condiments” into the picture during foreplay (check out “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”), and there is stuff all over your fingers, hands should be washed then too. The main reason for the last one is food has a way of throwing off your vagina’s pH balance — and, whenever that happens, it can lead to an infection. And who the hell wants that, chile?
Before Sex Tip #3: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Drink Too Much
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When you get a chance, do your vagina a favor and check out “Turns Out Sober Sex Might Be The Underrated Secret To Better Orgasms.” When you’ve got too much alcohol in your system, not only could it potentially cloud your judgment, but it can also tank your libido, decrease how much natural lubricant your body produces, and it can make it harder for you to climax as well.
As far as the lube part goes, the issue with that is alcohol dehydrates you, and let me tell you, there are few things worse than trying to have great sex with a dry va-jay-jay. All of that friction damn near feels like broken glass (not exactly but…close). Ugh. So, a glass of wine or a shot of Casamigos? Cool. Throwin’ back an entire bottle? Yeah, let’s not.
Before Sex Tip #4: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t "Forget" to Use Condoms
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If you want to significantly decrease your chances of experiencing an unwanted pregnancy or an STI/STD, you need to use a condom — not sometimes, not partly during sex…each and every time and from start to finish when it comes to copulation. To this day, when used flawlessly, condoms continue to be 98 percent effective (around 87 percent effective otherwise). Not only that but if you are having sex with a new partner for the first time, his sperm/semen has the potential to throw your vagina’s pH off and that could lead to itchiness, irritation and/or some type of infection.
Look, I don’t know one person on this planet who thinks that wearing a condom feels better than “going raw.” Still, unless you want to get pregnant or you want to do a crap shoot with your health (at a time when STIs/STDs are on the rise, by the way), do you and your vagina a favor and bring condoms into the mix. Speaking of condoms (and your vagina), check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer,” so that using them can be as pleasant of an experience as possible.
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After Sex Tip #1: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t “Mingle” with Sex Toys
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Okay, so when it comes to “after sex,” I think that pretty much all of us can vouch for the fact that sometimes sex doesn’t stop so much as it…pauses. And during that refractory period, it can be common for one or both partners to do things that will help to keep the juices flowing (umm, so to speak). Thing is, if your sex toys have been moving around from place to place, this means that bacteria, fungi, or even viruses can be transmitted.
So, after the first sex romp, please wash your sex toys before inserting them, umm, elsewhere. Then, once you’re completely done, thoroughly clean and dry them and put them away. For tips on how to do this, based on the material that they are made out of, check out Self’s “How to Clean Your Sex Toys So You Can Use Them Safely.”
After Sex Tip #2: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Hold Your Pee In
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Although I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor, when I stepped onto my college’s campus for the first time, I was pretty green about a lot of things when it came to sex. That’s why it threw me off when my freshman year suite mates were trying to convince me that holding urine in during sex intensifies orgasms. Chile…if y’all are out here doing that, that explains why there seems to be an uptick in squirting (some of y’all will catch that later — LOL).
Anyway, what I do know, as far as pee goes, is you should definitely release it after intercourse. According to science, making sure to use the bathroom after sex can help to push out germs and bacteria that may try to get caught up in your urethra, ones that could ultimately lead to a urinary tract infection (UTI).
After Sex Tip #3: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Use Harsh Cleansing Products
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It can never be said enough that vaginas are self-cleaning — this means that, even after sex, yours does not need the assistance of douching or you attempting to “clean it out” with some sort of over-the-top body wash or heavily fragranced soap. All that will do is disrupt the pH of your vagina. As far as your vulva — the outer part of your vagina — goes, even that doesn’t need you to go overboard.
Some warm water and a mild, unscented soap are really all that you need, especially since you may have some mild abrasions due to the friction of the sexual experience. Oh, and if you are doing the most, thinking that you can get sperm/semen out of you — that’s not how it works. Once it enters your body, it’s gotta leave in its own time (which tends to be no longer than 5-7 days).
After Sex Tip #4: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Put Panties (Back) On
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Even though men have told me that they feel more comfortable with putting a pair of drawers on after having sex, that doesn’t mean that you should automatically follow suit. I mean, unless you plan on getting right into the shower (and fully drying off afterwards), there is probably sweat and other fluids that could be a breeding ground for an infection if you decide to immediately put on panties, lingerie, or some other type of tight-fitting clothing on.
So, stay naked — at least from the bottom down. It’ll give your vagina (and vulva) some time to catch its breath and actually breathe. Yes, literally.
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Without your vagina, sex would suck. LOL. And so, the least you could do is implement these eight tips as a way to show your appreciation. They’re simple things that can make a big difference in how your vagina feels — about sex and you before, during and after it. #wink
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