April is a month to slow down and to fully grasp what has been. The month starts in fiery Aries Season, but we are also in the thick of Retrograde Season as we begin the month as well. Thankfully, Mercury finally goes direct on April 7, after being retrograde mid-March, and communication matters are clearing up. This is a month of mental clarity, a fresh start, and not being afraid to dream a little bigger.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, and this Full Moon brings relationship and financial matters full circle. This is the time to let go of what doesn’t make you feel balanced or in harmony and to create space for more peace to enter your life. Venus goes direct in Pisces on the same day, after being retrograde since March 1, and love is healing. With Venus now direct, there are more opportunities for commitment and longevity in love, and there is overall a greater feeling of romance, receptivity, and compassion in the air now.
Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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In a way, it makes me think of a quote by one of my favorite poets, Rumi: “Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” Lamps shed light. Lifeboats save lives (and/or transition people from one spot to another). Ladders help to lift people up. And y’all, if it’s not our life’s mission to want to do one or more of these things for at least one individual on a daily basis — what the heck are we doing out here? Truly.
And yet, spend just one hour on social media and you will see more folks yapping about how to get something out of someone than to “be a shepherd” to someone else — and when all a person wants to do is take…how absolutely draining is that?
So yeah, let’s take a moment to more thoroughly explore the concept of what a human “charger” vs. a “drainer” is — not just as a gut check to make sure that you are where you should be when it comes to how you prioritize your interactions with others but also to confirm whether or not you are surrounding yourself with — pardon the pun — positive charges or…negative ones.
Energy Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyIt really is purely fascinating, the things that you can discover, if you choose to intentionally look for information. Take something that I recently learned: Did you know there are certain types of transmitters that, when they are placed on top of human skin, they send a frequency of 40 MHz into a person’s system? As a result, their body becomes conductors of energy that can actually be transferred to other devices (so long as they have the kind of receiver that can process human energy in this way).
My greatest takeaway from this? Human energy is a very real thing. Not only does it provide us with the ability and power to do various things, it’s also what can be exchanged between two individuals. In fact, many mental health experts believe that it is more than possible for people to exchange energy via things like their attraction to one either, sharing thoughts and emotions and even through one another’s body language.
And since that is indeed the case, this is just one more reason why I will forever stand 10 toes down that sex shouldn’t be handled flippantly or dismissively — because if someone has a body part of theirs inside of yours…how much energy is being exchanged from that? Geeze. And so, since you need energy in order to literally function (and to be mentally and emotionally functional) — let’s look at how a human battery charger moves and then how a human battery drainer does as well.
Ready?
5 Signs That You “Fuel” People
GiphyFuel your fueler. It’s something that I am known for saying to some of my clients whenever someone in the relationship feels like the other isn’t meeting their needs. Basically, what it means is, if an individual is giving you some of what you need in order to function and even thrive, why wouldn’t you want that same type of energy to be reciprocated to them in return? Fueling your fueler helps to equip them to keep providing what you need from them. Simple math.
And here are five ways you can do it:
1. Bring positive insights and/or wisdom. One of my favorite quotes is always going to be by the writer Jorge Luis Borges. He once said, “Don’t speak unless you can improve upon the silence” — and that is a solid gold resolve to have. In a world that is filled with so much…noise, a fueler/battery charger is someone who radiates positivity and/or offers up insights that help you to see things from another perspective and/or gives you the kind of wisdom that challenges you to grow. How often do people say that you do at least one of these things for them?
2. Create more calm than chaos. Confusion is chaos — by definition. You know some of the things that cause confusion? Unclear communication. Passive aggressiveness. Inconsistency. Gossip. Being unnecessarily dramatic. And all of this is just for starters. Meanwhile, a calm individual? They bring peace and tranquility with their words and even simply their presence — and a big cause of this is that they are at peace within themselves. This is why I think it’s a red flag whenever someone is triggered by hearing “Be my peace.”
It is actually HIGH PRAISE when someone can say that when you come around, they feel relaxed instead of…stressed out. Not wanting peace to be associated with your name? Problematic, my dear.
3. You allow “Shalom” to define you. I say often that Hebrew culture is totally my thing — and this includes the Hebrew language. And although most people know that shalom means peace, the word is far more vast than that. Shalom also means to be whole and complete. It’s also a word that speaks to things like health and prosperity. Keeping this in mind, if you are someone who “charges instead of drains,” this means that when you come to mind to other individuals, they think of how much of a blessing that you are in their lives — and you know this because they tell you so. You have a spirit of “shalom” on you and it doesn’t get much better than that.
4. You choose to be a spiritual light. Oh, please believe that when it comes to this one, I am not speaking of church folks — some of them can be the most draining (and I wrote an entire book about it!). At the end of the day, being spiritual is about knowing that there is something out here that is bigger than you (which means you act like you know that life isn’t all about you).
Being spiritual is about fulfilling purpose. Being spiritual is about focusing on the immaterial rather than the material. And when you are a fueler and charger, you do this by motivating others to become more spiritual too.
For me, I have a friend who calls me her “idea doula” and I adore everything about that. She is saying that I help her to come up with ways to grow her business and brand and that ultimately helps her to manifest her own purpose. When it comes to what people can say about what you bring into their world…how do you spiritually benefit them?
5. You are also a muse or inspiration. Pretty much, a muse is a source of inspiration for a creative (check out “10 Habits Of Successful Creatives”) and when you inspire someone, it means that you produce or arouse something within them. It could be to try something new. It could be to finish something they started. It could be to look at a person, place, thing or idea from a different perspective. Or it could be that you inspire them to be a better version of themselves — and it might just be simply by them watching how you move. Remember that a battery charge provides power. When you are around others, what do your words and actions empower them to do — and are those things for the better?
5 Signs That You Actually Wear People Out
GiphyOkay, so it would appear that singer-songwriter Peter Hammill once said that a violinist friend by the name of Graham Smith came up with the term “energy vampire” back in the 70s. Apparently it was in reference to some of Hammill’s over the top fans (the more you know). These days, energy vampires are quite simply individuals who are draining to be around because they require so much of your mental and emotional energy whenever they are in your space.
And what are five ways that these types of people can wear you all the way out?
1. They take more than they give. I’ve been known to say it often: “Where there is no reciprocity, someone is out here being a liability.” Listen, when you’re in a relationship with a person, because you both are individuals, you may not (always) need the same things (especially at the same time) and/or your requirements and expectations may be different. That’s fine. However, don’t find yourself out here being the only one who is proactive and intentional — because if you are important to someone, they should want to give and not just take. Drainers don’t care about this. Chargers absolutely do.
2. They speak in monologues more than dialogues. Something else that I have told clients before is that a lot of people don’t want a PARTNER; they want an AUDIENCE. What I mean by that is, they just want someone to give them attention, to be engrossed in what they have to say, to put them on some sort of pedestal. That’s why they don’t know how to clap for others, they suck at listening, and they may even seem more envious than excited when others win. Back in the day, I used to have relationships where I barely couldn’t get a word in edgewise; it’s because all they really wanted to do, consistently so, is wax poetic in the forms of endless streams of consciousness. LOL.
Sometimes folks need an ear to get things off of their chest; understood — yet if that is ALL that someone is doing…they aren’t wanting to connect with you…they just want some attention from you.
3. Their problems/issues are redundant and cyclic. One of my favorite people on the planet is the poster child for this point. She dates the same kinds of men, she never listens to the 50-11 folks who tell her that they are the same kind of men and then — surprise, surprise — things end up the same way…over and over…and over with these same kinds of men. We’re talking decades’ worth of this nonsense too. And as much as I love her, over the past couple of years, we’ve had to have some hard conversations about how it can be challenging dealing with her sometimes because she stays in the hamster wheel of bullshishery.
Listen, that “we listen and don’t judge” nonsense that was all over the internet several months back (or was that last year? Time is moving weird right through here)? That is some of the dumbest ish that I’ve ever heard! Discernment literally means “acute judgment” and, as my mom used to say, “Discernment prevents experience from being your teacher.” Use discernment when deciding how deeply you should get involved with people’s stuff. Also, use discernment to decide when it’s time to shift your energy. Before they drain it all.
4. They compete instead of congratulate. I don’t know about y’all but, over the course of my life, I’ve had some real doozies of narcissists in my world — and one way that they tend to show up is low-key competing with me whenever I accomplish certain things instead of rather than just sitting back and congratulating my efforts. I’ve had people look at me crazy about becoming a doula and life coach — only to become one later. When my first book came out, someone literally said, OUT LOUD, “If you can do it, I know I can then.” DRAIN.ING.
A part of the reason why science says that GOOD FRIENDSHIPS keep us healthy is because support and encouragement help to keep our stress and anxiety levels down. Competing is (typically) stressful. Being celebrated isn’t. ‘Nuf said.
5. They are full of negativity. Constantly complaining. Always looking at things through a dark/negative lens. Never seeming to be in a good mood (or expecting you to get them out of their moods). Acting apathetic instead of/more than empathetic. Being hypercritical. Playing the victim. These are just some examples of what it means to be a negative type of person. The reason why research says that these kinds of folks can drain us is, since we already are prone to act on our natural negativity bias, whenever we’re surrounded with someone who is already caught up in theirs…that energy can be quite contagious.
And since negativity is bad for your cognitive function, immune system, emotional stability and so much more — the less negativity, the better. Yep, spend as little time with this kind of “drainer” as you possibly can.
Giphy____
Like I said earlier, our batteries are basically our energy — and when it comes to wise words on energy:
“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” (T. Harv Eker)
“Energy speaks what you don’t.” (Drishti Bablani)
“When the energy in the room doesn't feel right, probably, it's not right. But sometimes it's also because of you.” (Mitta Xinindlu)
And when it comes to that last quote, specifically — umm, well, …see how I presented the chargers part of the article with a “you” and the drainers with a “they”? LOL. Yeah, that was so you would take the medicine down easier — oh, but definitely take in ALL of this piece, just to make sure that you don’t only have “wear me outs” in your world but that others aren’t actually thinking or saying this about you too.
Being a battery charger or a battery drainer. At least once a week, this is something that we should self-evaluate because energy is precious — and so is what we choose to do with it.
You can fuel or wear people out, y’all.
Please, for the sake of your energy levels as well as theirs…choose wisely.
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