Black Minimalists Share What They Stopped Buying In Order To Live Their Best Lives
What does it really mean to "have everything"? I suppose it depends on what you define as everything. From achieving your goals to living the life you didn't have as a child to living unapologetically, having everything isn't always qualified and quantified by material things. This way of thinking is related to the minimalist lifestyle – an existence that is rooted in happiness when living with less. For minimalists, they value experiences over possessions.
Minimalism is not for the faint of heart. The 'less is more' concept is one that requires discipline, consistency, and intention. We have watched as the minimalist theory swept across varying fields from fashion to interior design to photography. It is such a beautiful way of life and we are in awe of how Black women apply the theory to their lives.
So, we talked with four Black women who aren't new to minimalism, they are true to minimalism. Keep reading for why they made the choice, how their upbringing affected their decision, and their advice for other women.Whitney Roberts
Photo Courtesy of Whitney Roberts
Age:35
Title/Industry:Writer, Podcaster, Content Creator
Location:Philadelphia, PA
When did you adapt to the minimalist lifestyle?
I have been a minimalist for about four years now. I adopted minimalism because I was honestly tired of stuff. As a writer, I find clutter to be distracting. To keep me as focused as possible, I try to eliminate as much of it as possible.
What was the hardest obstacle in making this change?
Getting rid of certain things. For me, clothes were easy to clear out as I made the practice of clearing my wardrobe every season change in order to donate. The most difficult things to get rid of were my books! I love to read and managed to get my hands on many rare copies.
How did your upbringing affect your choice to become a minimalist?
Majorly! My mom is big on giving things away that we aren't using. She's really generous. I would like to think I inherited her generosity. On the other hand, one of my grandparents was a huge hoarder. They would buy things just to have them and wouldn't share. I saw how that affected their lives and how, in the end, all they had was their stuff.
What things did you stop buying in order to feel freer financially?
CLOTHES! I said earlier how easy they were to give away and unless I need something, I rarely shop for clothes. And you will be surprised how quickly the savings add up when you're not constantly shopping for things that are in style today and out tomorrow.
Can you share your biggest joy since you made the modifications?
The biggest joy is handing over that box of things I don't need knowing that they are going to people who do need them. I recently cleared some gently-used dishes I didn't need and, afterward, found a family that didn't have any. Handing them that box and sharing in that moment of gratitude (them grateful for the dishes and me grateful to help) was a big joy.
What advice do you have for women wanting to live life minimally?
Start small. You don't have to reduce all of your items in one day, or even in one month! Take your time. Choose one area at a time. Go through each item, one at a time, and ask yourself if you really NEED it or not. It's totally doable. Just go at your own pace.
For more of Whitney, follow her on Instagram.
Danae Smith
Photo Courtesy of Danae Smith
Age: 30
Title/Industry:Lifestyle Blogger
Location:Northern Virginia
When did you adapt to the minimalist lifestyle?
I started my minimalist journey in 2015 but in the last couple of years, I've really leaned into the slowness and simplicity of minimalism.
What was the hardest obstacle in making this change?
The hardest obstacle was unlearning rushing and learning to let go. Decluttering spaces wasn't too hard. I could easily let go of clothes and shoes that didn't spark joy, but for me, it was hard to let go of items that held memories. It's a process, but minimalism has challenged my need to hold on to all the things, be that something tangible or intangible. As for unlearning rushing, embracing minimalism has and continues to challenge my need to rush on to the next thing, be that a trend or literally how I move from one space to the next. I'm constantly learning to slow down and be still, to give the moment in front of me my full attention.
"I'm constantly learning to slow down and be still, to give the moment in front of me my full attention."
How did your upbringing affect your choice to become a minimalist?
I didn't grow up in a minimalistic home, but I did grow up in a home that valued delayed gratification, imaginative play, and reading over television, etc. I grew up in a home that did not follow trends a ton and that has deeply impacted how I move through life now. In some ways, the way I grew up helped make the adjustment to a more minimalist lifestyle a little easier.
What things did you stop buying in order to feel freer financially?
I think the first items to receive a personal budget cut were clothes and shoes. Nowadays, I aim to purchase clothing items that are aesthetically pleasing and functional with the ability to be worn in multiple seasons and styled differently each time. Doing the 10x10 challenge really helped me to get creative with the clothes I already owned. I also worked really hard at not eating out a ton, especially for lunch. I worked in D.C. for a while so it was easy to go to a food truck or chain restaurant to grab lunch. Of course, as with any journey, some days were definitely easier than others.
Can you share your biggest joy since you made the modifications?
My biggest joy has been giving myself permission to slow down and be fully present in a given moment.
What advice do you have for women wanting to live life minimally?
Don't feel pressured to pursue minimalism in any particular way. You don't have to suddenly don neutral tones or have a home barely furnished. You can pursue minimalism in full color with a cozy living space or whatever your vibe is. In my eyes, minimalism isn't just an aesthetic. It's a lifestyle choice that makes room for what matters and what you value. How that looks and unfolds in your life can and will look different from the next person.
For more of Danae, follow her on Instagram.
Jaznel Mosby aka J. Chavae or Jaz
Photo Courtesy of Jaznel Mosby
Age: 29
Title/Industry:Wellness Facilitator
Location: Athens, GA
When did you adapt to the minimalist lifestyle?
I adapted to the minimalist, more so essentialist, lifestyle about four to five years ago.
What was the hardest obstacle in making this change?
The hardest obstacle in making this change was thinking that I had to have five to 10 items in my possession when in reality, it was being conscious of what I needed and what truly made me happy.
How did your upbringing affect your choice to become a minimalist?
Growing up, my mother had so many random things in high volume that she didn't need or use, be it shoes, food, cups, etc. I knew that it was because of a lack mentality (she grew up pretty poor in Jamaica) so I did have sympathy for her, but it drove me NUTS! I became obsessed with organizing first, then minimalism/essentialism was introduced to me and the game changed!
What things did you stop buying in order to feel freer financially?
I had to stop buying clothes and shoes. I was a real shopaholic in my early 20's, buying things for their photo potential regardless of wearability or comfort, but minimalism helped me kick that to the curb. I would always tell myself that I didn't have money when in reality, I did have money, I was spending it all on shoes, clothes, and FOOD.
Can you share your biggest joy since you made the modifications?
My biggest joy since this lifestyle change has been filling my home with things that I absolutely need and that I absolutely LOVE. Everything has a purpose and a place which makes my compartmentalized mind very happy!
What advice do you have for women wanting to live life minimally?
The advice that I would give to women wanting to live minimally or essentially is to add before you subtract. It's like wanting to be healthier. If you cut everything out, you're going to crave it more often and probably give in...the same applied to me when it came to my things. Figure out what you love and what you need, incorporate those items in your life and then give thanks to what you don't need or love (think Marie Kondo-style). I also released things much easier when I gave them to someone I knew/loved. It made me happy knowing that they would use something that was simply taking up space in my home!
For more of Jaznel, follow her on Instagram.
Christine Platt
Age:44
Title: The Afrominimalist
Location: Washington, DC
When did you adapt to the minimalist lifestyle?
I began adapting a minimalist lifestyle in the summer of 2016 but in all honesty, I had no idea what I was doing. I was so focused on trying to mirror the neutral, barren aesthetics I saw online. It wasn't until 2017 when I began focusing on being authentic and intentional with my personal style that I truly began adapting to a minimalist lifestyle. For me, that looks like Afrominimalism—a home and wardrobe that reflects the history and beauty of the African diaspora.
The shift to being authentic and intentional was so pivotal! It is what led me to write The Afrominimalist's Guide to Living Less, to really encourage more people, especially Black people, to embrace the practice of minimalism more holistically. Being a conscious consumer has more benefits than having a tidy house and benefiting the environment. It is an opportunity for our community to use their resources to build generational wealth—and for many of us, we are the first people in our families to have the opportunity to do so.
What was the hardest obstacle in making this change?
The hardest obstacle wasn't sorting through everything to decide what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to let go (which is what I thought would be the hardest part). I was very surprised at the emotional work that came with the letting go process. I had to acknowledge what aspects of my childhood led to my excessive spending. I had to acknowledge that I had so many things but so little savings. And I had to forgive myself for all the decisions and choices that led to my overindulgence.
But ironically, I believe emotional labor is one of the most important parts of the process. Honoring my feelings has been essential to maintaining a lifestyle with less. And I really encourage anyone who is planning to or in the process of decluttering to embrace the anger, frustration, sadness, tears, and whatever other emotions emerge. It is important to first know the reasons why you have more than you need, and then honor the emotions that come with that understanding. If not, it is likely that you will continue the same spending habits and find yourself in the same situation again.
"Honoring my feelings has been essential to maintaining a lifestyle with less."
How did your upbringing affect your choice to become a minimalist?
I am so glad that you asked this question! How we were raised plays an important role in why so many people have more than they need. From how we saw our caregivers handle money to fulfilling unmet childhood expectations, there are aspects from our past that have influenced our relationship with money and spending habits. When I was younger, my mother and I spent the weekends shopping, and it was always my favorite part of the week. We had so much fun together! And so, I associated shopping with fun, with rewarding myself, with enjoying the fruits of my labor.
When I began adapting a minimalist lifestyle, I realized what a significant role my childhood played in my emotional spending, as well as the cultural influences and other aspects of my identity, such as being a first-generation everything. I have since become very intentional about breaking that cycle with my daughter and sharing my experiences with others so they can learn from my experiences.
What things did you stop buying in order to feel freer financially?
OK, I want to address a misconception about minimalists—we buy things all the time! We are just 1) very very intentional about what we purchase and 2) constantly letting go of things that no longer serve us to make space for what matters. In order to be financially freer, I had to learn the reason behind my excess (the mindless consumerism and bargain shopping), and refrain from those behaviors. It's how I came up with a mantra that I sometimes still must use when I am shopping: "Remember, it's not a deal if you don't need it."
Can you share your biggest joy since you made the modifications?
Oh, my goodness! There is so much joy! Having savings is such a big part of my joy. Understanding my power as a conscious consumer and investing in my community. There is such joy in being intentional with where and how I spend my money.
What advice do you have for women wanting to live life minimally?
You know, I recently read this beautiful interview in ELLE with Taylour Paige who plays Dussie in Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (which the historian and lover of Black storytelling in me is just obsessed with that movie. Just, gah!) It just felt like I was having a conversation with a young Black woman on her way to understanding and seizing every opportunity in her lifetime. One thing that Taylour said really struck me: "We're all eternal. And this is just a blip in eternity. But if I can be conscious of that, why do anything I don't want to do?"
If you want to live more minimally, do it! And be fully conscious of and committed to your decision. And don't be afraid to make it your own. For me, it's Afrominimalism. But for you, it may be something entirely different. Think of minimalism as intentionalism. Be intentional about creating the life you want to live.
For more of Christine, follow her on Instagram.
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
TikTok Says To Put Diaper Rash Cream On Your Face. Is That Good Advice?
Geeze, by the time this article actually runs, there could easily be 15 more updates on what’s happening with TikTok. Hey, I’m not exaggerating either because you’d literally have to be living under 10 tons of rocks to not be aware of all of the controversy surrounding it; especially when it comes to its impending ban.
And even though I’m not personally a social media (account) user, I must say that two things that I find to be pretty sad about where TikTok is headed (should it truly and finally come to an end) are one, all of the money that it’s going to cost its creators (I actually read that it will be close to a whopping $1.3 billion in the first month of a ban) and two, the fact that when it comes to researching things to write about, TikTok is so much better and easier than Facebook or Instagram (Mark Zuckerberg is a real trip right now; keep checking up on him too…SMDH).
A great example of this: learning about the diaper rash face cream trend that everyone seems to be raving about these days; especially on TikTok. Yeah, it all might sound crazy on the surface, but I’ve actually got some intel, along with videos from Black women who don’t regret putting something that was made for a baby’s butt (relatively speaking) all over their face.
Are you ready to see if it’s something that just might work for you as well?
Video credit: @_nvrseeme via TikTok
Diaper Rash on Your Face Even Has a Name: Face Basting
GiphyYou learn something new every day, chile. Personally, I think a big reason is because something new is made up all of the time. LOL. Take skin or face basting, for example. Now, unless you are someone who already puts diaper rash cream on your face, I’d be close to shocked if you know what that term means. If you’re like me — someone who just found out while conducting research for this piece — and you’re curious, skin basting is what happens when you want to do an overnight treatment on your skin with the help of diaper rash cream (face basting is when you apply it to your face only).
And just why would you do something like this? Well, for one thing, diaper rash cream tends to have a good amount of an ingredient called zinc oxide in it. It’s beneficial for your skin in a myriad of ways including the fact that it 1) helps to create a protective barrier on it; 2) can shield your skin from damaging UV rays; 3) locks moisture into dry skin; 4) helps to heal damaged skin tissue; 5) can help to prevent bacterial infections from occurring (or spreading); 6) increases the production of collagen; 7) slows down the signs of skin aging, and 9) can even treat dandruff.
If you add to that the fact that the lanolin and dimethicone (which are also skin protectants) are also in many diaper rash creams — hell, why wouldn’t you consider putting at least a dab or two of the stuff onto your face to see if it helps at all? I mean, GOODNESS.
Video credit: @staria_brantley via TikTok
Why Face Basting Is Better than Face Slugging
GiphyAnd what if you’re reading all of this and you’re thinking that face basting sounds a lot like something else that you’ve casually come across: face slugging? If that is the case, you may be wondering if there is a difference between the two. There is.
Face basting is about letting diaper rash cream soak into your skin for a significant amount of time. Face slugging is when you substitute the cream for a thick ointment like Vaseline or Aquaphor.
The method behind the madness of “slugging” is it could possibly help to heal dry skin and keep it soft for a longer period of time — although, to me, it seems like a surefire way to clog up your pores (so please report back, if you’ve tried this before). Plus, I can only imagine what your pillowcases and sheets end up looking and feeling like the next morning. Yeah, on the slugging tip, I’ll pass.
Video credit: @that.calliegirl via TikTok
Who Shouldn’t Attempt to “Baste Their Face”
GiphyAs you can see from the TikTok videos that I’ve interwoven throughout this article, some women are real fans of face basting. Still, that doesn’t mean it should be the go-to remedy for everyone. For one thing, if diaper rash cream only had zinc oxide, lanolin, and dimethicone, you might be all good; however, that isn’t the case. Mineral oil, fragrance, and other ingredients that are oftentimes in diaper rash cream could potentially irritate your skin.
Another thing to keep in mind is because diaper rash cream is also thick (like Vaseline), there is a chance that your breakouts could get worse due to potential pore clogs. Same goes for if you have oily skin or super sensitive skin (because a baby’s bottom has “tougher” skin than the skin that is on your face).
In all of these instances, if you want to see if diaper rash cream could be the skin remedy that you’ve been looking for, avoid the full-on basting and just apply a bit on your face. Wait a few days to see if there are any unwanted side effects and go from there — although it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that you can always purchase some plain zinc oxide ointment or speak with a dermatologist about what would ultimately be best for you.
Other Practical Uses for Diaper Rash Cream
GiphyWhew, chile. Now that you know what diaper rash can do for your face, you’d be more than warranted to be curious about if it can benefit you in other ways. The answer is actually…yes. Hangnails. If you “baste your nail cuticles” with it a couple of nights a week, it will help to keep your cuticles well-moisturized (since hangnails pretty much come from dry cuticles).
Vulvovaginitis. Vulvovaginitis is a technical term for irritation of the vulva. So long as you apply the ointment to your vulva only, it can help to bring temporary relief to itchiness or irritation (it’s good for girls as well as women, by the way).
Thigh chafing. If thigh chafing is something that you deal with,the zinc oxide that’s in diaper rash cream can serve as a barrier for your skin, so that it’s not as much of an issue.
___
Personally, I’ve got a pretty good skin regimen going right now, so I’m not sure if I’ll be doing the face basting thing any time soon. Now nail basting? Diaper rash cream just might have me sold there. Because when you stop to think about the fact that you can get so much from a (roughly) $10 container or tube — why not?
Y’all, who knows if TikTok will be done this year. Just in case, let’s use this article as an opportunity to thank it for the hacks that sometimes do actually work.
Well done, TikTok. This time. LOL.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images