

It's almost like I can hear some of y'all coming right through the computer screen. "Shellie, I'm over here trying to make sure that I havean orgasm on the regular and here you come, talking about some multiple ones?" Yep. That's exactly what I'm doing because one, life is short and two, the only thing better than climaxing is climaxing as much as possible. Besides, having more than one orgasm really isn't as semi-impossible of a feat as it might seem. The main two things to keep in mind is 1) typically multiple orgasms are a string of weaker ones that come close together and 2) there are "hacks" that can definitely help you to make this all happen.
So, if tonight is the night that you want to take your sexual experience to another level, check these 9 hacks out, forward them on to your partner, and then get ready to become the woman who can say that you've successfully experienced each phase of an orgasm—excitement, plateau, orgasm, resolution—not just once but several times in one sex sitting. Ready?
1. Become an Edging Master
OK, here's a reading hack to keep in mind. If you want to know if an article on orgasms is worth your time, skim it real quick to see if edging is mentioned at all. The reason why is because, if you want to have an orgasm, intensify your orgasm or increase your chances of experiencing a multiple orgasm, the act of edging has to be factored into the equation.
If you're not familiar with what edging is, it's basically sexually stimulating yourself and/or your partner, to the point of climaxing—but then stopping before it actually happens. While edging can be achieved in a myriad of different ways, arousal via touching erogenous zones and/or oral sex are ideal. Just remember that this particular tip isn't about achieving an orgasm, let alone a multiple one; it's about getting you right to the brink, then pulling back, so that once you are ready to "go", it will be truly mind-blowing—and so much easier for you to repeat the action over and over again.
2. Learn As Much About Your Refractory Period As You Can
When it comes to orgasms, there's something known as the sexual response cycle. I pretty much touched on it in the intro. It's the cycle that includes the phases of excitement (or desire), plateau (or arousal), orgasm (or climax) and then resolution. Excitement is when you start to get sexually stimulated in the sense that your heart rate increases, your nipples become erect and your vagina increases with lubrication. Plateau is when blood flow increases to your genitalia, your clitoris becomes really sensitive and the muscles within your pelvis start to tense up. Orgasm is when your blood pressure and heart rate are at their highest (in the sexual cycle), the muscles in your pelvis begin to contract and you start to feel warm all over your body. Resolution is when your body starts to come down off of this "high" and you begin to feel more like "normal" again.
Now your refractory period is the time between resolution and excitement. That said, one of the main "hacks" to experiencing a multiple orgasm is learning what your refractory period actually is. For some women, it's literally a few seconds while, for others, it may take several minutes. Yet if you are intentional about not taking more than a 60-90 seconds to "calm down" from all of the sensitivity you may feel before being open to getting sexually stimulated all over again, there is a really good chance that you can experience orgasms back-to-back.
3. Appeal to ALL Senses (Simultaneously If You Can)
Back when I wrote the article, "Ever Wonder What The Sounds You Make During Sex Mean?", a part of the purpose was to remind us all that a great sex session should include all five of our senses being fully and thoroughly stimulated—sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste. Since I just broke down the importance of knowing what transpires during your refractory period, something that can help you to get back into the phases of an orgasm quicker is if some of your senses continue to be stimulated while you are in the phase of resolution.
For instance, if after you cum, consider having your partner talk dirty to you (hearing) or offer to give you a massage with a DIY aphrodisiac massage oil like sandalwood or jasmine (smell). Definitely, a mistake that people make, in the effort of having more intense or multiple orgasms is, after the first orgasm is achieved, they stop all activity altogether. While being super sensitive right after you cum is perfectly natural, remember that touch isn't the only sense you've got. Your partner doing a little strip tease (sight) or the two of you feeding each other some chocolate-covered strawberries (taste) can still keep you plenty interested—and get you to the first phase of an orgasm all over again: excitement.
4. Bring Weed into the Equation
One of the main reasons why a lot of us—and by "us", I mean women—have trouble climaxing us because—surprise, surprise—we tend to overthink it. Whether it's a doctor, a sex therapist or even your bestie who hangs off of chandeliers on the regular, something that all of them can agree on is a tensing up only makes getting to the Big O that much more difficult to reach. If you know this in theory but you still struggle with finding ways to relax either before or during sex, something that can help you out is weed. I actually wrote an article not too long ago for the platform that explains that weed can do things like make you feel less anxious and reduce feelings of discomfort. And, if you bring some weed lubricant into the equation, that can make stimulation even more intense and orgasms—including multiple orgasms—so much easier to have. (Check out "7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better" and "Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day" for more info.)
5. Create a Safe Word
Listen, if there's one thing that you cannot be—if you want to experience as many orgasms as possible, that is—is inhibited. In other words, you're gonna have to chill out, completely let go and be open to trying some new things. So, in the effort to join the "multiple orgasms club", the next time you have sex, let your partner know that you're pretty much down for whatever; except with one caveat. You've got to be able to incorporate a safe word—like a color or something that is easy to remember—so that if something becomes uncomfortable or even painful, you can immediately alert your partner without the two of you needing to stop sex completely.
6. Get into Two Classic Sex Positions
It wouldn't be a thorough article on how to achieve multiple orgasms if I didn't share, at least a couple of positions that can help you to reach your goal. Remember that a key to experiencing orgasms, one right after the other, is to get into a place where you can close-to-guarantee that you will climax at all. Two sex positions that can get you pretty damn close to this goal is the reverse cowgirl and doggy style.
As far as the reverse cowgirl, the key is to straddle one of your partner's legs instead of both. That way, you can get more deeply penetrated while better controlling the movement of your own pelvis. As far as doggy style goes, doing a modification of it by laying on your stomach instead of being on your knees can make it easier for either your hands or his to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse. When you're able to maneuver more easily, you can apply as much pressure as you need to cum, then wait, and then cum all over again.
7. Stimulate More than One Erogenous Zone
When it comes to experiencing orgasms back-to-back, something that isn't brought up, nearly enough in my opinion, is the fact that focusing on achieving orgasms in multiple places should also be explored far more often. What do I mean by that?
Orgasms are able to happen in more than just our vaginal area. Some women are able to achieve nipplegasms or even be brought to the brink of an orgasm, simply by having their favorite erogenous zones touched. That's why it should never be ignored that another way to have an orgasm is by achieving one via the stimulation of your genitalia and then having a hot spot like your neck, ears, navel, inner thighs or even your lips caressed or kissed during your refractory period in order to get right back to the plateau and then orgasm mountaintop all over again.
8. Breathe Deeply
Something else that plays a direct role on how intensely and often you are able to climax is how deeply you breathe. As I've already shared, orgasms are a series of muscle contractions in your pelvic region. So, while that part of your body tenses up, breathing slowly and deeply helps to relax you and create a powerful sensation as you reach your peak. As far as what you need to do specifically in the breathing department, I actually found a cool article on The Sex Ed site that explains everything very well. Read "Orgasmic Breathing" and share it with your friends. They'll owe you. Trust me.
9. RELAX
It truly can't be said enough—in order to have multiple orgasms, you're gonna need to freakin' relax. This includes fully trusting your partner. This includes not being shy about your body. This also means not going into your next sexual experience with multiple orgasms being your "aim" so much as it's something that you're completely open to doing. If all three of these things come into play and you literally sit back and enjoy the ride—you might surprise your own self when it comes to how easily you can experience multiple orgasms. Have lots and loads of fun...over and over and over again, sis.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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