Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
January is a groundbreaking month of surprises, challenges, and triumphs. The year begins with Mercury going direct on January 1, signifying a sense of ease and a new beginning that this year is bringing. With less fog and more clarity, less control, and more flow, anything is possible for you as the year begins, and January is ushering in this positive fresh start. After the intense and enlightening year that 2023 was, this year is starting on a determined tone, and there is a lot to look forward to this year.
On Jan. 4, Mars enters Capricorn, and this is a good time to set up financial goals and plans for yourself for the year and to think more logically here. Mars in Capricorn is ambitious, and this will be a good month to follow through on New Year's resolution, as you will be feeling more empowered to do so. On Jan. 11, the first New Moon of the new year occurs, and this is a New Moon in Capricorn.
Setting intentions is even more potent right now, and what you are manifesting right now will ripple into the rest of this year. This New Moon is all about defining what you want and standing by it. Mercury then moves into Capricorn on Jan. 13, forming a stellium in this earth sign.
With all of this Capricorn energy, as the year begins, there is a certain determination and resilience that this month is bringing in.
What January 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
Aquarius Season begins on Jan. 20, and determination turns into inspiration. While the Sun is in Aquarius, your community becomes more prominent, and the focus is on friendships, support systems, and soulmates. This Aquarius Season is all about thinking things thoroughly, claiming your victories, and supporting those who have been there with you along the way. Pluto also moves into Aquarius on Jan. 20, signifying that what’s changing now is not only happening on a personal level but a collective one as well. There is a sense of not only things and experiences coming together this month but people coming together as well.
Venus moves into Capricorn on Jan. 23, and Venus in Capricorn takes its time with love and enjoys every moment of it. The best of the best is the priority for Venus in Capricorn, and she doesn’t mind working for what she wants. This energy is bringing a groundedness to relationships, but also a little more pressure to deliver or provide.
The Full Moon of the month is happening in Leo and will be on Jan. 25, bringing in some fire sign energy before the month ends. This Full Moon is about putting yourself out there unapologetically and letting go of anything that keeps you further from yourself.
The end of January settles into a nice flow as Uranus goes direct after being retrograde since August 28, 2023. With Uranus in Taurus now direct, there is less unsettledness in the air, especially when it comes to love, romance, and finances. Uranus now direct brings a certain type of spontaneity back into the world, and one that brings a pleasant type of excitement rather than an unexpected hindrance.
Overall, January is bringing things back into order and providing a new sense of abundance in replace of change.
ARIESKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
January begins, and you are focused on your goals and priorities. You have your vision and your plans, and nothing is getting in the way of the future you see for yourself this year. The month begins with the Sun in your 10th house of career, and you are thinking a lot about the legacy you want to leave right now. However, your guidance is to not rush your process or progress this month and to take time with the developments and healing that are taking place for you right now.
Mars enters your 10th house on Jan. 4, where a lot of the energy of the month is for you, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. There is a shift in energy taking place for you this month, and at times, it may feel overwhelming, so be kinder to yourself in the process. At the end of the month, there is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this is ushering in some positive and fortunate energy in your life. You are leaving January in a romantic and hopeful tone, Aries.
TAURUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
This month is a time of change and perspective, Taurus. You are moving in a new direction in life and are ready to experience more abundance and clarity, but may need some time to get there. It’s all about the way you are looking at things right now, and the New Moon on Jan. 11 is a good time to set your intentions for that. The beginning of the month is eye-opening, and it’s up to you to decide what to do with the information you have gained.
On Jan. 23, Venus enters your 9th house, and you could be doing some traveling this month. This is a good time to adventure with a loved one, do things differently, and ask for spiritual guidance in your life. There is an awakening happening in your life this month, and there is some unexpectedness here. The most impactful transit of the month for you, however, is Uranus going direct in your sign on Jan. 27, after being retrograde since Aug. 2023.
This is a huge relief for you, and you can expect more stability and exciting opportunities in your life now.
GEMINIKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
Wishes are coming true for this month, Gemini. There is good energy flowing through your life as the year begins, and you are still in celebration mode from the successes that occurred for you at the end of last year. With the Sun and most of the energy in your 8th house of rebirth this month, you are feeling a freedom and connection in your life like never before. January is an inspiring time for you, and you are emotionally moving through some successes now.
Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Capricorn on Jan. 13, and moves into your 8th house as well. This is creating a spiritual awakening in your life and your close relationships. You are seeing clearly how putting in the work has favored you, and are experiencing the fruition that comes with emotional growth. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon in your house of communication, and you are getting your message across now. Self-expression is everything to you, and you are getting the feedback you have been looking for here at the end of the month.
CANCERKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
Life is coming to fruition for you in January, Cancer. There is a sense of ease with you as you enter the new year, as you have claimed your peace and owned your power. You are trusting where life is and where life can still go for you, and are focused on your inner happiness right now. With the New Moon and most of the energy of the month in your 7th house of love, you are feeling this energy in your life and also sharing it. January is all about balance between your personal growth and the needs and wants of your relationships as well.
With all of the synergy that is flowing in your life this month, you are seeing relationship matters come full circle. Your heart is with your people, and you are rising above any past complications that disrupted your peace. On Jan. 27, Uranus goes direct, and this is even more energy that is favoring your relationships with others. With Uranus now direct, your friendships and community become more stable for you, and you may be meeting some new, exciting people in the process.
LEOKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
January is all about your inspirations, Leo. This is a powerful month for you and a month where you are encouraged to get creative and be courageous. You may have more on your plate this month than usual, but you have the right perspective and plan to follow through. Work matters are also more pressing for you now, and this is setting the tone for the accomplishments you are set to make this year.
Venus enters your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines on Jan. 23, and single Leos may find a new romance brewing in the workplace. Taken Leo’s will find their heart in their daily life, health, and well-being, and will be inspiring their partners with this energy as well. It’s all about working together with the people around you and making something better than it was this month. The Full Moon of January is in your sign on Jan. 25, and this Full Moon is when you are feeling the closure of the past year. You are letting go of old habits and beliefs, and owning your new ones.
VIRGOKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
January is a time of abundance, self-resilience, and fruition for you, Virgo. You are experiencing a breakthrough in your life, and financially you are allowing the blessings to enter. This is a month to break from self-imposed limitations and to trust that you are worthy of all you have gained and the future successes you will be taking in. With the energy of the month in your 5th house of romance as well, you are feeling more encouraged to be yourself, to love, and to be loved.
On Jan. 11, there is a New Moon in Capricorn and in your 5th house, and this is a good time to set your intentions for love. Don’t just think about what you want; feel it, grasp it, and go into your heart space to take in how it would truly feel to receive your desires in life. By the end of the month, Uranus goes direct in your 9th house of travel, adventure, and spirituality, and you could have some spontaneous trips or adventures to embark on as you leave the month.
LIBRAKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This month is about finding your strength, Libra. You have been on a personal journey of growth and balance, yet have felt emotionally heavy at times in the process. The support in your life has been there, but it’s still been difficult to grasp your own inner power. This month is about accepting what’s been and choosing your strength instead of your fear. With the energy of the month in an area of your chart having to do with family and the home, this is a good time to spend more time in your safe spaces.
Venus, your ruling planet, will be in your 4th house for most of the month as well, and your heart is really where the home is right now. This is a good time to spruce up the home, move things around, decorate, and bring in some new energy to your environment as the new year begins. On Jan. 25, there is a Full Moon in your 11th house of hopes and dreams, and the blessings you were counting on in the past, are coming in for you now.
SCORPIOKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
January is all about standing your ground and protecting your energy, Scorpio. You are walking into the new year needing some time to process what has been and to decide on where you go from here. You are no longer willing to be pulled in so many different directions and are focused on your priorities and your peace of mind right now. When things feel pressing for you this month: create art, meditate, and get some quiet time alone. With a lot of the energy in your 3rd house of the mind in January, you need all the time and space to clear your head.
On Jan. 11, there is a New Moon in Capricorn, and this New Moon is about remaining hopeful, and awakening to a new mindset. You are taking your communications, beliefs, and connections more seriously, and are directing your power toward your message. On Jan. 27, Uranus finally goes direct in Taurus, your opposite sign, and this is good news for romance, finances, and your one-on-one relationships. You are leaving January with more pleasurable experiences in your love life and with less doubt about your stability and security here.
SAGITTARIUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
January is a month of collaboration, connection, and creation for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on your relationships, your people, and the connections you are looking to make this year- and maybe meeting some new people to help you get there. You have your eyes and heart open, and this is an inspiring time for you to create something beautiful. With Mercury going direct in your sign on Jan. 1 as the month begins, you are entering the year with a sense of personal clarity that is attracting like-minded souls and love into your life.
With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances for most of the month, this is a good time to focus on your growth and priorities here and to plan for the future. The New Moon in this area of your chart on the 11th is a good time to set your intentions for abundance. Before the month ends, there is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and you are gaining the wisdom from the adventures you have been on and the lessons you have learned as of late.
CAPRICORNKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
The light is on you this month, Capricorn. So much of the energy in January is happening in your sign, and this is something to say about the powerful year ahead for you. The month begins with the Sun and Pluto in your sign, and Mars, the planet of direction and action, entering here on Jan. 4. A lot is going on in your life, and this is transforming things personally for you. If you can take the wins with the losses, and find your balance in what is becoming clearer to you now, you can use your will and passion toward intentional action rather than fear-based. January is the time when you are working on letting go, honoring the heart, and listening to the messages of your soul.
The New Moon of the month is on the 11th and is in your sign. This is a powerful day of manifestation for you and a time to think big. Mercury moves back into your sign from Jan. 13 until Feb. 5, and this brings clear energy into your communications with others. Before the month ends, Venus enters Capricorn on Jan. 23, and some of the uneasiness you were feeling emotionally at the beginning of the month is shifting for you, and you will be feeling more ease and dedication in love.
AQUARIUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
January is all about honoring your time and energy and speaking from the heart, Aquarius. The Sun is in your 12th house for most of the month before it enters your sign, and you are moving through a transition in your life, letting go of your perspective of what was, and seeing things clearer. The New Moon on the 11th will be in this area of your house as well, and this is a good time to set your intentions for the healing in your life and to allow your heart time to reflect and renew.
Aquarius Season officially begins on Jan. 20, and it is your time to shine and thrive. You are walking into this season feeling especially empowered, with Pluto entering back into your sign on the same day as well. With Pluto and the Sun now in your sign, it’s about choosing yourself right now, and about loving yourself through this process of growth you are in. Remember what a powerhouse you are this month.
Kyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
January is about exploring your options and opening your mind to love. There is a lot of movement in your life this month, but you are also doing a lot of contemplating on the new doors that are opening for you now. Make decisions from the heart and the head, and balance your need for clarity with your desire for hope. The New Moon on Jan. 11 will be happening in an area of your chart having to do with manifestation, and this is a good time to dream up some new blessings in your life.
Before the month ends, Venus will be in this manifestation house as well, and you are leaving January walking on more solid ground in love after the journey you were moving through at the beginning of the month of contemplation. The Full Moon on Jan. 25 shifts the focus to your work life, and this is a good time to experience a breakthrough in the workplace. Find balance between everything you want to juggle this month and choose what matters most to you now, Pisces.
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Take partner, for example. People who are engaged in the same activity are considered to be partners. Those who dance and/or play together are considered to be partners. Individuals who are engaged in a romantic relationship are considered to be partners. Folks who are on the same side are considered to be partners. And yes, another word for spouse is — wait for it — partner. So, what in the world is wrong with the word “partner” as it relates to marriage? According to the dictionary, absolutely nothing — and I’ll go with that resource over some bitter TikToker any day of the week.
Thankfully, not all of social media is lost when it comes to knowing the meaning and origin of words. Take one of my favorite platforms, Beleaf in Fatherhood, for instance. Although I have watched this Black family-friendly platform for a few years now, Glen’s post last month that was entitled, “Why I Left YouTube and Moved To A Farm,” reminded me that one of the things I enjoy so much about the channel is how “word intentional” everyone on there tends (or at least tries) to be.
This definitely includes when Glen also recently posted a video entitled, “She Has to Make Home Cooked Meals in the Hotel Room” — one that pretty much praised his wife for close to 12 minutes straight. In it, he said something that let me know that he knew exactly what he was saying — and why.
And y’all, if you’re someone who happens to be married, I think the same word could really breathe new life (and perspective) into your marriage as well. That is, if you allow it to.
Married Couples Aren’t Always Gonna Agree…And That Is Okay. Beneficial, Even.
GiphyAt the end of this article, I will post the second video that I just referred to, mostly because I think it’s a beautiful thing to watch for yourself. However, the main thing that Glen said that inspired this post is, as he was paying attention to all of the steps that his wife was taking to make not-just-any-ole’ pancakes for the family vs. what his method would probably be, he said, “Although we don’t agree, we are aligned.”
Listen. LISTEN. As someone who’s been working with married couples for two decades at this point, that got me right in the gut. Lawd, how I wish that more people would get that a healthy marriage doesn’t mean that you always have to AGREE (have the same views or emotions about things)…the goal should be to make sure that you always remain ALIGNED, though.
And why shouldn’t agreement be the main priority? To me, I look at agreement in a marriage a lot like I look at perfectionism for individuals — it’s simply unrealistic. Just because you selected someone to “do life with” or, as Scripture calls it (Genesis 2:24-25), “become one” with, that doesn’t mean that you and your spouse are identical — and that alone means that the two of you will not agree all of the time.
In fact, there is plenty of science out here that says that disagreements and conflict can be good for your personal and relational development because they can do the following things:
- Conflict can help you see things from another perspective
- Conflict can teach you how to become a better listener
- Conflict can show you where you need to brush up on your communication skills
- Conflict can help you to master controlling your emotions (and your tongue)
- Conflict can show you how to set and respect boundaries
- Conflict can reveal where you need to show humility (like when to apologize, for example)
- Conflict can help you to become a better problem solver
- Conflict can teach you the art of negotiation and compromise
- Conflict can show you how to see the bigger picture
- Conflict can reveal where you need to mature and evolve as a person
Yeah, anyone who thinks that a relationship should be conflict-free is not only someone who is living in a dream world; they also tend to be a great example of where I am coming from when I say, “Many people are not looking for a PARTNER; they are looking for an AUDIENCE.” Meaning, that they don’t want someone who is going to help them, sometimes through conflicts and disagreements, to become a better individual; they simply want a “yes” person who is going to go along with what they say all of the time. SMDH.
Okay, but what about another Scripture that asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3 — NKJV)
Good question, and to that, I will say, if you’re in a serious relationship and you’re considering getting married soon, you mostly definitely need to be in agreement when it comes to some core things like your value systems; how you see family; if you have similar goals and insights when it comes to finances; if you esteem marriage in the same way; boundaries that need to be set with each other and other people (including and sometimes especially family); how a household should be ran; if you see the future in a similar way and honestly, if you’re on similar pages about religion/faith (or at least can you live in harmony if your belief systems are different — check out “6 Things To Consider Before Getting Into An Interfaith Relationship”).
By ignoring how important it is to have similar views on matters as big as these, you can end up being in unnecessary conflict — and yes, as much as a home can start off in peace and with a sense of harmony, the better. After all, “until death parts us” is a really (REALLY) long time.
Beyond that, though, again, it’s okay to not always agree. The goal, instead, should be alignment.
Let’s explore the difference for a bit.
You Can Disagree in a Productive Way…When Your Ultimate Goal Is to Be ALIGNED
GiphyI wouldn’t be surprised at all if the only time when you actually hear about alignment is when folks are talking about the universe or planets (which basically means that they appear to bein a straight line). However, when it comes to what we are discussing today, when two people are aligned, alignment means “to bring into cooperation or agreement with a particular group, party, cause, etc.” In other words, being aligned doesn’t “just happen” — mutual effort is required.
That’s actually why I like the word so much because, literally, cooperate means “to work or act together or jointly for a common purpose or benefit.”
Yep, when married folks want a peaceful dynamic, they strive to cooperate with one another for the sake of a common purpose or benefit…even if there are some disagreements along the way. And, in order to do that, they have to remember how important it is to be aligned with one another — and then be willing to put in the necessary effort.
And how does that transpire? Well, here are some synonyms for align that particularly stand out to me:
1. Ally:
Allies “unite formally,” and boy, are there times when I wonder if my clients are allies or enemies. SMDH. When two individuals have both decided that, no matter what, they are going to stand as a united front, they really can get through just about anything. Period.
2. Troubleshoot:
How cool is it that “troubleshoot” is a synonym for align? I adore that because troubleshooting is all about discovering ways to eliminate problems or malfunctions — yes, even in a relationship. And here’s the thing about troubleshooting: oftentimes, you have to be willing to try several different approaches and methods, all the while BEING PATIENT until you find what works for the both of you or for the problem overall…even if that means following your spouse when you would prefer to do your own thing (follow is another synonym, by the way).
3. Adjust:
People who can make adjustments are people who are flexible; they are not so rigid in their way of thinking that they aren’t willing to shift in order to reach a common goal. So many people can’t make their marriage work or last due to this one necessary skill alone.
4. Accommodate:
One of my favorite definitions of accommodate is “to make suitable.” When you watch the video of Yvette making the pancakes for her family, because they are in a hotel in Mexico, she has to make some accommodations, i.e., make some adjustments, in order to get the job done. Would it be easier at home? Yes, yet the objective is to do her best with what she has. Mature individuals get that this should be the ultimate objective of marriage too. Be willing to make accommodations. Again, mutually so.
5. Sympathize:
“Sharing in the feelings” of your partner is what sympathizing is all about. Hmph. You’d be amazed by how much peace can come to a stressful situation if both people are simply willing to understand how the other individual feels about it — and then validate that emotion.
6. Mend:
“Mend” is such a bomb word for marriage. That’s because mending is about making things whole, repairing what’s been damaged, removing defects, making progress, and setting things right. I know far too many people who married conflict-makers instead of menders. Singles, if you are tiptoeing in on this, if you are not with someone who displays very clear “mending” characteristics — you need to totally reconsider the relationship. TRUST ME.
7. Improve:
I adore this word as well because Glen said that although he and Yvette may not always have the same views or emotions on things (agree) because they are aligned, they seek out how to improve matters and each other — and improve means “to bring into a more desirable or excellent condition.” You know what this means? Sometimes, a disagreement, when done well, can actually make things better than before.
When mutual respect, patience, and a desire to make things even “more excellent” is what the husband and wife want, that is exactly what can happen.
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And all of this is why I say that if married couples are willing to apply the word “align” to their relationship, there can be so much more understanding, growth, and even love that can take place — because when you get that you don’t have to be the same, you just have to ultimately desire similar things for the relationship…you can be so much more effective in your approach.
So, if you’re ready for a healthier dynamic: GET INTO ALIGNMENT.
A game-changer, for the better, indeed.
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