The Unexpected Lessons Yoga Taught Me About Life
When I started doing yoga, it was more for fitness than anything else. I already had a pretty good meditation ritual, and was fully immersed in the church, so the spiritual and mindfulness components of it weren't my main focus.
After a few sessions, though, that quickly changed. Over the course of the year, I've tried a few variations of yoga — particularly vinyasa, bikram, and yoga nidra. And all of them provided a life lesson that I plan to keep with me for years to come:
There’s a sequential flow for everything.
I began my yoga journey with vinyasa. I downloaded an app on my Apple TV that would allow me the space and comfort of starting this journey in my living room. Vinyasa yoga is a style that relies on the flow and sequence from one pose to the next. This means, there's a sequential order to every pose — both with breathing and with body movement. I didn't realize that at first; I felt that I could get to Pose #3 without doing Pose #2. Throughout the at-home session, I proved myself wrong. If I took a break during Pose #2, I'd have to still do Pose #2 to make transitioning into Pose #3 easier.
The fluidity of my body relied on successfully completing each pose in order.
After each session, I reflected on that reality, and connected it directly back to life. So often, we try to skip step 2 of our process to get to step 3. We try to rush through our journey, thinking that doing so will get us there quicker. In reality though, it'll only get us there unprepared. There is a sequential flow for everything in our lives and for us to make it through with our fullest, best selves, we must recognize and honor this.
I can get through anything.
Bikram yoga was the most challenging for me. Between the excessive heat and the sweaty palms, it was hard to maintain the poses. 15 minutes into this session, and I was already over it. Drenched in sweat and pushing the limits with my body, I felt defeated. But I didn't start this session to stop a quarter of the way through. I was determined to complete this session and I did all I could to do so. I took breaks when needed, did modified poses if the originals were too challenging, and solicited help from the instructor to perfect my form. I was dedicated to not only finishing, but finishing well. Not because I had to, but because I knew I could.
If we navigate our everyday lives with this same energy we could achieve everything we set out to. Once we recognize that all we need to complete something is the gall to keep at it, we're able to position ourselves in the posture of persistence, patience, and push-through that we need to make it through.
Little things matter.
When I solicited help from the instructor, he provided minor tips and adjustments that made all the difference. Though it felt I was far away from mastering the pose, his minor tweaks proved that I wasn't as far as I thought. Twisting my body a little to the right, heightening my chest, etc. helped me position myself into a pose that I previously struggled with.
Small adjustments made big changes.
I immediately thought about how to apply this to my life: What small modifications could I make in my life to provoke big, lasting change? I recognized that so many "little things" can make a big difference. Not all life-changing moments are based on big decisions. In fact, it's the culmination of smaller decisions and small blessings that usher in peace, prosperity, and life-changing possibilities. Things as simple as turning your phone off when you sleep, or being kind to a stranger can present you with peace and opportunity, respectively, that you may have never considered. As we navigate our everyday lives, let's not ignore the small changes we can make to improve our lives.
Let your mind rest.
Yoga Nidra proved to be the most relaxing form of yoga for me. Using audio a friend of mine received from a yoga retreat in Bali, her and I laid on my living room floor in full submission to this guided meditation. Yoga Nidra focuses on relaxation and inner peace, so during the entirety of this meditation, we were laying on our backs with our eyes closed. As the instructions played from the audio, I realized that much of what we were told to do was to mentally release the toxins of our day. By the end of the session, we were both asleep.
So often, we let life's trials over-consume us. We worry about today, we worry about yesterday, and we worry about tomorrow – none of which does us any good (word to Matthew 6:34). Yoga Nidra forced us onto the floor in a posture of full relaxation, and walked us through releasing those worries from our minds, and releasing the tension it causes from our bodies.
This level of mindfulness reminded me of how important it is to rest – both physically and mentally.
Many times, our ideas of rest may be just about the physical; a lazy day on the couch, binge watching Netflix, still entertaining the many thoughts on our mind; or, a day out on the beach reading a book that we hope will help us fix our lives. This yoga technique, however, promoted the full rest of the body and the mind.
It inspired us, not to just rest our physical, but to fully release everything clouding our mental as well. It encouraged us to say "hello" and "goodbye" to those things in one breath. Obsessing over things you cannot change, or thinking about what happened yesterday won't give you an 'up' in life. Sometimes we should just come to the floor (or the altar) and let things go.
Mindfulness doesn't always have to be about thinking, sometimes it can be about consciously not thinking.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Zoe Hunter is the writer, speaker, and creator behind the women empowerment brand DEAR QUEENS. She uses vulnerability, storytelling, and spiritual development to empower women toward healthy decision-making. Stay connected to Zoe's work by visiting DEARQUEENS.com or following her on Twitter @zDEARQUEENS.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage