

I Used To Shave My Head Whenever I Was Stressed Out, Now I'm Growing Through It
Do you remember those L'Oreal commercials where different women would say what ethnicities are in their bloodline? Like Beyonce' said, "There's a story behind my skin. It's a mosaic of all the faces before it" and then African-American, Native-American, and French popped up?
If I were to do one of those ads, what would appear is "African, French, German and Native American."
I'm bringing this up simply because when I share something that I learned about Native American culture, you'll be able to connect the dots on why it resonated with me so much.
Yeah, but I'm kind of getting ahead of myself.
Back in college, my late-fiance' shaved my head. Why? He was a man who hailed from the southside of Chi-town who wanted to encourage me to let my soul glow (in the best way possible) by getting rid of my chemically-processed hair. Ever since then, for the most part, my hair has been some variation of short—and natural (well, sometimes there was a texturizer in it).
Fast forward to the present day and now I'm on a journey of trying to grow out my hair for the first time in 20-plus years. What I realize is keeping it short all of that time had partly to do with liking short hair (because it's sexy and dope; I still believe that). But honestly, it was mostly because I never gave my hair the opportunity to grow out.
Why? Because whenever a sistah was stressed out—about a man, a bill…it didn't really matter—I would pull out my clippers and go ham, literally, on my head. Much like how Job (in the Bible) handled his trials by shaving his own head, I realize I was doing the same.
Well, in hindsight, I realize that is what I was doing.
That's where a particular Native American revelation comes in.
Did you know that the main reason why so many Native Americans have long hair is because, to them, it symbolizes spiritual growth? Not only that, but when they cut their hair, it represents either the loss of a loved one or separating oneself from their past? (That sounds a lot like what cutting one's locs can represent for a lot of folks.)
Native American blood runs through my veins. And, what I realize about the relationship I've had with my own hair is that I've been perpetually in a state of mourning/grieving/loss. Now I'm…someplace else. In many ways, just like their long hair symbolizes personal growth from within, I'm ready to appear differently too.
For the record, I'm not saying that short-hair-don't-care doesn't represent strength and evolution. Some of the strongest women I know have a TWA or less. But for me? It's been 20-plus years of looking in the mirror and seeing the same woman going through (some of) the same things. And now that I'm switching it up and doing life differently—I want my physical appearance to reflect that. Mostly, when it comes to my crowning glory.
Plus, growing out my hair is proving to be potently symbolic of my journey. Anyone who has made the commitment to grow out natural hair knows that 1) it's the process of trial and error to find the right products, 2) you have to learn to be consistent in implementing a hair regimen, and 3) more than anything else, patience is key.
Looking back, I realize that a lot of my stress was about NOT putting an effective together a plan, NOT being consistent with following through on said-plan, and NOT being patient with the process of progress. Rather than doing my best and allowing time to honor me for it, I'd get frustrated, shave my head, and start all over—only to end up…stuck.
If you want something different, you've got to do things differently.
These days, I'm learning a lot about self-love, self-care, and growth by putting up the clippers and really nurturing this hair of mine. It's not easy. Sometimes it's uncomfortable. But I'm seeing progress. Internally and externally.
Taking care of my hair and letting nature take its course is reflective of I'm choosing to live life, period.
Not remaining in a continual state of mourning.
Growing, spiritually, instead.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Blac Chyna Opens Up About Her Initial Fear To Share Her Spiritual Journey With Others
Watching Angela “Blac Chyna” White’s transformation in real-time has truly been a sight to see. It wasn’t that long ago that she announced that she was reversing her cosmetic surgeries in an effort to go back to who she was before the world came to know her as Blac Chyna. In previous interviews, she stated that she was dissolving her facial and lip fillers, removing her breast implants, and getting a butt reduction, as well as removing the dimple piercings that enhanced her fame and controversial tattoos.
In a recent Tamron Hall interview, the mother of two said that she has “fully recovered” from the procedures. She is also celebrating one year of sobriety and opened up about being worried about how her new journey would be received by others.
“I’ve been in the entertainment industry for so long, right, and of course, like, you know, coming out, I’m like young, I’m gonna do wild things as we all have,” she said.
“...I feel like by me being vocal and showing everybody you can change your life and things can get better, like through myself, that right there is an accomplishment, and that’s a part of freedom, too.”
But as she started on her journey, many people have shown her grace, which is something she’s grateful for. “And then the fact that people have been showing me grace, it’s like amazing,” she said. “And I feel like when I did it, I just did it. It was more so like spiritual thing and I feel like people see that, and I’ve always been like my authentic self, so what you see is kinda what you get with me, and that’s just kinda what it is.”
Chyna, who recently received an honorary doctorate from Sacramento Theology Seminary and Bible College, has also repaired her relationship with her mom, Tokyo Toni. The social media celebrity surprised her daughter on the Tamron Hall Show. Prior to the sentimental surprise, Chyna dished on the reconciliation and having a better understanding of her mom.
“I must say, some of the things I have to take accountability for because, like my actions. As a mother, you don’t want to see your daughter doing certain things ‘cause it’s like it doesn’t matter what my past was or what we’re going through, I didn’t raise you that way,” she admitted. “So, it’s like, okay, maybe I was a little bit wrong. Maybe I was acting out a little bit. But I feel like as we grow older, I kinda see more, and I understand more.”
Chyna will be starring in season two of Fox's reality competition show Special Forces: World's Toughest Test.
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Feature image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images