
Hands down, sex is one of the greatest things that life has to offer. Anyone who's had some great sex before can 1000 percent vouch for that. And while the act itself is fantastically bar none, all on its own, if you've been with your partner for a while and/or you're someone who likes to be sexually spontaneous as much as possible, it can only help your bedroom (or wherever you prefer to have sex) experiences to be intentional about finding ways to make things feel exciting and new.
That's why, every time a new season rolls around, I try and find a way to give some sex tips that directly apply to it. This time last year, I wrote, "Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex". This year, since Halloween is one of the two main holidays that autumn has to offer, I thought I'd share a few ways to incorporate it into your sex life—whether you plan on going trick-or-treating this year or not.
1. Send Trick-or-Treat Texts Throughout the Day
Something that most men and women are able to agree on is sex isn't just about the meshing of bodies. It's also about connecting on a mental level. One way to flirt with your partner, in the hours leading into Halloween, is to send them some trick-or-treat texts; only, make sure they come with a bit of a twist. Customarily, Halloween tricks come in a form of some sort of mischief, so you can ask your partner a trivia question about your relationship or even about your sex life or particular turn-ons. Treats are traditionally given in the form of candy or money. So, if your partner gets the answer right, you can reward them with either or both.
For instance, you can shoot a text during their lunch hour asking them, "trick or treat?" If they say trick, respond with, "What's my favorite sex position?" If they get the answer right, let them know that their favorite candy will be placed…on a very intimate part of their body, in order for you to lick it off. If they get the answer wrong, they have to "treat you" instead.
2. Get Some Pumpkin-Scented Soy Candles
It's kind of hard to imagine Halloween without a pumpkin being around somewhere. Well, here's the thing about pumpkins as it specifically relates to sex—I've shared before that there are studies to support that when a man catches a whiff of the pumpkin scent (especially when it is mixed with lavender), he gets aroused 40 percent faster than other smells. So, why not turn off all the overhead lighting and light up some pumpkin-scented soy ("soy" because they burn longer and cleaner) candles?
If you want to create an authentic Halloween theme, you can even put the candles inside of a jack-o'-lantern or two. And if you really wanna set off the Halloween theme right, you can make some edible webs outta cotton candy too (click here or here for step-by-step instructions).
3. Also, Get Some Pumpkin (and Lavender) Essential Oil
If it's been a minute since you and/or your partner has had a nice and soothing massage, create your own massage oil by adding some pumpkin and lavender essential oil to a carrier oil like sweet almond, avocado or jojoba oil. Put between 5-7 drops of each oil, per 1/3 cup of carrier oil, and zap the combo in your microwave for around 15-20 seconds. Things will be popping up, all over the place, the moment you apply the oil…if you know what I mean. #wink
4. Make Some Liquor-Filled Chocolates
What would Halloween be without bringing some chocolate into the mix? Not only does it taste great, but since it's a food that has phenylethylamine and serotonin in it, and since those are chemicals that are considered to be mood boosters and sexual stimulants, chocolate also makes the list of being an aphrodisiac; especially if it's dark chocolate.
This year, rather than just eating a Kit-Kat and calling it a day, surprise your partner by making some liquor-filled chocolate candies (you know, since alcohol is one way to totally turn up the dial on a lit sexual evening). While it might sound a little complex at first, after checking out a couple of recipes (here and here), you might find that this is something you'll wanna do year-round.
5. Serve Up a Lil’ Jekyll & Gin Glowing Cocktails
In sticking with the Halloween and alcohol theme, how about making a couple of Jekyll & Gin Glowing Cocktails? They're super easy to make. All you need is some gin, grenadine, lemon juice, lemon/lime soda and ice. What I like about this particular drink is, if you shine a black light on it, it'll literally glow in the dark. As far as where to find a blacklight, your local Walmart is one of the many places that carries them.
(By the way, the recipe calls for tonic water but that can actually tank a man's libido; swap it out with something like Sprite and you'll be all good. You can cop the recipe here).
6. Dress Up
Something that Halloween and people who have a healthy sexy life tend to have in common is fantasy is incorporated quite a bit. This Halloween, bring some newness into your boudoir by dressing up. It can be in a costume or it can be simply taking your lingerie game to a whole 'nother level. While you're at it, ask your partner about a fantasy they have that has yet to be fulfilled. You rolling up, as fine as you wanna be, with you both having a mutual desire to make a couple of sex fantasies come true, could easily turn Halloween into your favorite holiday of all-time!
7. Do Some Neck Biting (Well, Kinda)
When it comes to getting and keeping you and your partner in the mood, enough can't be said about foreplay. A part of being a foreplay master is making sure to hit the right spots which are oftentimes known as erogenous zones or pressure points. Well, a place that is especially sensitive is the neck. In fact, if you Google other articles on this particular topic, you're gonna be hard-pressed to not see the neck come up. It's sensitive. It's sexy. And it's one of the true hot spots for arousal for both men as well as women.
And since vampires are something that often come to mind during this particular holiday, don't just kiss the neck—do some light nibbling too. If you add a little bit of cinnamon oil to the area first, it will provide a warm tingle for your partner and a hint of spicy sweetness for you.
8. Go Apple Bobbing (Again…Well, Kinda)
Here's some of y'all's something new for the day, I'm sure. Did you know that apple bobbing (you know, when folks put their head into a bucket of water, in the attempts of getting an apple out) is tied to a female fertility ritual? Not only that but, on the sex tip, apple bobbing can be another way to refer to fellatio. Plus (get this), it can also be when a man inserts a piece of an apple out of a woman and tries to get it out with his mouth. While I'm all for folks having a true adventurous time, putting actual food into your vagina can be a bit risky (especially if you're unable to get it all out). However, a nice alternative is to get your hands on some apple-flavored lubricant that you and your partner can put on your genitalia. Consider it apple bobbing—with a twist.
9. Incorporate Favorite Candies into Foreplay
If you don't have a massage oil candle, why the heck not? There is something that is super sensual about dripping hot wax onto your partner and having them return the favor. For Halloween, rather than going with a candle, how about bringing some of your favorite candies, along with a lighter, into the mix? Whether it's a Starburst, a Snickers bar or (ugh, why Lord, why?!) some candy corn—it's a sweeter take on the massage candle theme. It'll open your eyes to enjoy candy in a totally erotic kind of way.
10. Surprise Your Partner in the Middle of the Night
Halloween is alright in the day, but it's not until after the sun sets that things really get mysterious…fun…interesting. Even if you and your partner go around before turning in at night, go for a surprise second round in the middle of the night. Whether it's full-on intercourse, a quickie or oral sex, it'll be the kind of treat that will make you both glad that you decided to put a sexual twist onto Halloween this year. No doubt about it. Happy Halloween, y'all. Enjoy it to the (sexual) fullest!
Featured image by GIFS
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
'You Both Are Going To Change': Tabitha & Chance Brown On Their New Body Collection & Successful Partnership
Tabitha and Chance Brown are the epitome of Black love. They've been married for 22 years after first meeting in middle school and share a beautiful blended family. The beloved couple is no stranger to talking about their journey to the altar and the ups and downs they've faced together on their show, Fridays with Tab & Chance. Now, they have taken the name Fridays and expanded it into a body collection.
The new collection, which dropped on November 14, features a body wash and a body lotion that complement their fragrances, Her Business and His Business. "We had such a huge success with the fragrance launch, and it’s because of our customers and fans," Tabitha shares in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
"They asked for body products and we wanted to make sure we listened. But also layering fragrance begins with the body routine." The body wash is $33, and the body lotion is $35. Keep reading below to hear more about Tabitha and Chance's new collection, their body rituals, and what makes their partnership successful.

Fridays with Tab and Chance body collection
Marcus Owens
xoNecole: How did you come up with the scents for the collection?
Tabitha Brown: We love warm scents that make you feel sexy and loved. [We’re] both fans of gourmand [scents], including bergamot, vanilla, tonka and chocolate.
xoN: If you could describe your working relationship in one word, what would it be and why?
Tabitha: It's our first time building a product line together and our first time working with fragrance. So having patience with the process and each other has been the best way to build.
xoN: What is your body care ritual?
Tabitha: Exfoliate with a scrub a few times a week, but using a moisturizing body wash daily. After a shower, I spray a body mist that compliments what scent I am choosing for the day. Most times vanilla mist wins because it’s a perfect base for layering. I then hydrate [my] skin with lotion. Then, once dressed, I layer my favorite fragrance, Her Business, first and then His Business on top.
Chance: [I’m] way more simple. Just body wash and lotion and then my cologne and I’m good to go.
xoN: We enjoy watching you two together online, whose idea was it to start 'Fridays with Tab & Chance'?
Tabitha: It actually happened by accident. Back in 2018, my fans had just been asking about how we met, so we did a video answering questions one Friday and people in the comments [asked], will y’all do it again next Friday? And so we did and the next thing you know Fridays with Tab & Chance was born.
xoN: In what other ways do you plan to expand Fridays? Restart the podcast? TV show?
Tabitha: We are working on a lifestyle content show vs the traditional Fridays podcast. More to come soon.
xoN: You do many things together, but what would you say is your favorite quality time activity and why?
Tabitha: We are really simple. We love watching movies or TV series together on the couch or in bed. It’s really one of our favorite things to do together.
xoN: What is your favorite thing about the other person?
Tabitha: I love that he makes me feel safe and how hard he works to be an amazing father.
Chance: I love that she is crazy enough to pursue her wildest dreams.
xoN: What is the key to a successful partnership in business and personal?
Tabitha: The key is knowing that you both are going to change, and giving each other grace, patience, and understanding during those changes.
See more on tabandchance.com.
Feature image Marcus Owens









