

Sometimes, when a married couple comes to me and says that they are struggling with feeling truly connected with each other, I'll recommend that they have sex, every day, for a month (check out "Having Sex Every Day. For A Month. Straight. Can Transform Your Marriage."). I won't lie to you. Some of them end up looking at me like I have totally lost my mind. In fact, oftentimes the initial response/reaction will be, "Who has the time to do all of that?!" I mean, we've all got 24 hours in a day, right? On average, many of us easily spend as much as 2 ½ hours on our various social media accounts and sex? Well, men can climax in around five minutes and it takes us somewhere between 20-25 (foreplay included). So yeah—seems to me that if you've got almost three hours to be on Instagram or TikTok, you've easily got 30 minutes to copulate.
And here's the thing—aside from the sheer pleasure that sex (well, at least good sex) offers, there are so many other reasons why making it a top priority, yes on a daily basis, is something that you really should strongly consider doing. If you hear me but you're not fully convinced, I've got 10 (and there are so many more than this) strong arguments for why sex—and more specifically, climaxing during the act—should become as essential as having three meals a day. Every day.
1. Orgasms Will Make Your Immune System Will Be Stronger
Without a strong immune system, our health is consistently compromised. And guess what? The more orgasms you have, the stronger your immunity ends up becoming as a direct result. First up, sex is a pretty good form of exercise (per 24-minute session, men can burn about 100 calories and we can burn around, pardon the pun, 69) and when we get cardio in, it helps our body to fight off germs and free radicals. Also, the more we have sex, the more our immunoglobulin levels (the antibodies in our blood) increase; if we orgasm, they go up even more. Another cool point is when we have orgasms, we actually give our body a nice lil' lymphatic massage. The awesome thing about that is when this part of our body is stimulated, toxins are able to leave our body easier. And that's always a good thing.
2. Orgasms Will Help You Stress Will Be Less
Nothing and no one is worth you stressing yourself out. I mean it. Stress is linked to heart disease, asthma, diabetes, depression, obesity, accelerated aging, and even premature death. Well, something that is increased during an orgasm is oxytocin. What's dope about this particular hormone is it's got the nicknames "the happy hormone" and "the love hormone". That's because, a part of what it does, is send chemical messages to your brain to feel better and closer to your partner. Since both of these things help to relieve a significant amount of tension, you can probably get why having an orgasm can have you feeling like you're walking on clouds—and giggling incessantly while you're doing it.
3. You’ll Look Younger From Having Orgasms
Something that transpires during an orgasm is your body releases a hormone known as HGH. What that stands for is human growth hormone. Well, the amazing thing about this particular point is whenever you cum, HGH is released. Something that happens in connection with that is your system receives a surge of collagen which makes your skin look more soft, supple and radiant. Right. Folks be out here spending millions on department store creams when all they need is to get some more often. I've even read that having sex 2-3 times a week can cause you to look as much as 10 years younger over time.
4. You’ll Feel Sexier From Having Orgasms
When you get a chance, please check out the article, "10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem". There really is no way around the fact that having sex—again, good sex—makes you feel sexier. It's a great way to feel more comfortable in and confident about your body. It helps to affirm aspects of you that make you attractive and special. And, when you're able to give and achieve orgasms, it can bring forth an inner assurance and boldness that is completely unmatched.
5. Orgasms Will Cause Less Headaches to Happen
I'm not sure who came up with the "I've got a headache" as an excuse to not have sex. Whoever it was needs to have this article forwarded to them because actually, right after you orgasm, your oxytocin and endorphin levels surge to the point where any pain that you're feeling is able to significantly decrease. This includes discomfort that is associated with headaches and migraines. As a bonus, orgasms can also increase blood flow to your brain, which gives it more nutrients and ultimately makes you mentally sharper as well.
6. More Orgasms Can Help Regulate Your Period
Is your menstrual cycle literally all over the place? Something that happens when we climax is a flow of blood and nutrients that our body needs rushes down to our reproductive organs. As a direct result, it can actually end up regulating your period. Believe it or not, there are studies which actually support the fact that women who have an orgasm, a couple of times a week, are far more likely to have a period every 26-33 days than those who experience them less often.
7. DHEA and Estrogen Levels Will Increase with Orgasms
Did you know that orgasms can promote healthy hormone production? Let's start with your DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate). It's the hormone that helps men to produce testosterone and women to produce estrogen. Well, every time that you orgasm, this level spikes up. That's a good thing because DHEA also contributes to things like stronger brain function, healthier body tissues, and great-looking skin. As far as estrogen goes, we need that to stay our gorgeous feminine selves and balanced estrogen levels play a significant role in that. Plus, estrogen is what keeps our vagina tissues in great shape—so that we can have even more orgasms. See how that all works out?
8. Your Blood Circulation Will Get Better From Orgasms
Steady blood flow is critical to our overall health and well-being. Guess what can help to make this happen? Yep, you already know. When you climax, the blood circulation in your body ramps up, to give all of your organs more vitamins, minerals, and oxygen. This helps to strengthen your cells, remove excess waste and boost brain power (for starters). Meanwhile, poor blood circulation can cause all kinds of problems including high blood pressure, muscle cramps, heart disease, strokes, and organ damage. If you see no other reason to have an orgasm a day, let this point serve as your motivation. It could help to save your life. Yes, quite literally.
9. You’ll Be More Faithful in Your Relationship
Oh, don't act like women don't cheat out here (check out "Women Cheat More Than We Think. What To Do If That's You."). Anyway, I remember a husband once saying to me that you don't want to eat when you're not hungry. His point was, when your sex tank is full, it tends to be more challenging to be tempted to cheat. Many couples totally agree with him. I have been told, countless times over the years, that when sex is good and consistent (both, not either or), there is far less of a desire to "dip out". Guess what? When it comes specifically to orgasms, there's a study that reveals that women who fake orgasms are far more likely to cheat than those who don't. I mean, if you'll lie in one area of your relationship, what's to stop you from lying elsewhere? Besides, how long can anyone go acting like they are fulfilled when they really…aren't?
10. Orgasms Will Help You Sleep Like a Baby
I don't know about y'all, but back when I was gettin' it in, there was no sleep that was better than following a couple of orgasms. It was literally like I was dead to the world in the best way possible. That's not some random happenstance. When you orgasm, the endorphin levels (including your oxytocin and prolactin hormones) in your body increase. At the same time, cortisol (your natural stress hormone) ends up decreasing. Plus, your pituitary hormone vasopressin is triggered when you climax and that can make you want to catch some extra zzz's too.
Yeah, while a lot of people are out here thinking that sex at night is due to convenience, another reason so many of us are fans is because it is one of the most effective ways to get a good night's rest too!
There you have it. 10 solid reasons to strongly consider having an orgasm, not every once in a while or even once a week—but every single day of your life. Your mind and body will adore you for it. Science has just proven it.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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These 5 Simple Words Changed My Dating Life & Made It Easier To Let Go Of The Wrong Men
Dating in 2025 often feels like meandering through an obscure tropical jungle: It can be beautiful, exciting, and daunting, yet nebulous when you’re in the thick of it. When we can’t see the forest for the trees, we often turn to our closest friends, doting family, and even nosy co-workers for advice. While others can undoubtedly imbue a much-needed fresh perspective, some of the best advice you’re searching for already lies within you.
My dating life has been a whirlwind to put it mildly, and each time I’d heard a questionable response or witnessed an eyebrow-raising action from a potential beau, I’d overanalyze for hours despite the illuminating tug in my spirit or pit of my stomach churning. And then I’d hold a conference call with my trusted friends just to convince myself of an alternative scenario, even though I’d already been supernaturally tipped off that he was not in alignment with me.
Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
As the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Ouch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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