
Email communications are a normal part of business, but sometimes, the threads, constant updates, and other notifications can get the best of us. I looked up one day and found that I had a whopping 4,000 emails in my inbox, and that was just one of them. It can seem overwhelming to purge when you think you might need something for later, want to be sure you're replying to the correct thread, or want to have the ammunition you need to politely read someone who keeps trying to check you about something you'd already done.
So how do you get organized, get from under the stress, and take back the time you've spent constantly responding to requests, deleting emails to get more storage, or managing alerts? Here are a few tips that have helped me:
1. Categorize your emails and set filters so that it's easier to manage your inbox.
I only keep emails that require immediate action or follow-ups in my "Starred" category (Google) and move others to other categories. I'll also flag emails so that I have a visual of those I need to address either within a day to 72 hours. I've often found myself trying to answer every single email as soon as one comes in, even if I'm in the middle of another task or even if it's not urgent. That practice left me always feeling frustrated. It was as if I didn't have enough time in the day to do any real work.
Now, I categorize emails based on the sender, nature of the task, or department with the tools I have at my fingertips, and Google and Outlook both offer these options. You can also adjust filter settings to send emails to certain categories when they have certain words in the subject line or come from particular senders. (Here's a great how-to on creating filters and how to choose what works best for you.)
I'm also now big on the "immediate delete and decline" method where, if the subject line seems spammy, includes weird misspelled words, or is addressed to the wrong company or person, is something I know for sure I'm just not interested in, I immediately trash it. (You can always go back in your Trash inbox and restore it, but after 15 years of being an editor, I've become a master at this. Nine times out of 10, it was trash or a total waste of my time even reading.)
2. Schedule time to purge.
Before you get any more overwhelmed, schedule a purge day that's on your calendar. Add alerts and reminders if you need to. I had those 4,000 emails because I hadn't purged since 2017, so take my word for it: Start purging tuh-day. Block out time weekly or monthly to look through all the categories and get rid of email threads that are no longer relevant, that detail a project that's done, or that indicate deadlines that have long passed. Also, get rid of those inter-office gossip threads or everyday conversations you might have had with your work bestie.
If the email thread is more than one year old, consider getting rid of it. (If this is a work inbox, get to know your company's policies on record-keeping, information privacy, and document filing before doing this. If personal, go ham.)
Set a timer for taking care of a few emails or one category at a time so that you don't further overwhelm yourself sitting at a computer for hours deleting or archiving things.
Put those photos or graphic files on a USP zip or hard drive or, if you trust it, a cloud. (And be sure to have folders so that won't become yet another disorganized abyss that has you searching through for hours to find a photo from 2009---or is that just me?)
3. Turn off unnecessary notifications and unsubscribe from newsletters you don't even read.
The notifications were really a problem. I'd set up notifications for almost every chat platform every one of my clients or companies I worked with used, and it became not only annoying but also took over my inbox. Think to yourself, "Do I really need to get email notifications for Slack updates, or should I just download the app? Do I need to be notified every time I spend $1 on a candy bar, or should I just download my banking app or check my statement bi-weekly?"
Turn off the notifications settings for updates on any and everything that's not really urgent or for things that you could find other ways to stay on top of.
And if you're really not into those newsletters from every online store you shop at or your favorite R&B star, they need to go, too. Unsubscribe or simply bookmark important stories from their websites, follow their social handles, or invest in an RSS reader.
4. Set up a time limit for keeping old emails.
Google has an option (and so do others) where you can set a 30-day deletion limit on emails, and this is perfect for someone like me who hoards digital files. You can set it for emails that are a minimum of 30 days old, and they'll immediately go to your Trash inbox after the time you set.
5. Email templates are your saving grace, so create and use them.
Everyone's talking about AI writing research papers, responding to comments, and creating Instagram captions. Well sis, you are the AI in this process. Pre-written messages that you can simply send with the click of a button are the move.
If it's a process that will always require the same answer, something that uses the same communication steps, or it's a message that can apply to multiple things or for multiple situations, create a template. Google, Outlook, and many other information management platforms offer this option. You simply create one message that can be used consistently and save the template for when you need it.
A good time to use these is in response to frequently asked questions, when onboarding or welcoming new team members, sending emails regarding common practices or policies, or for sales pitches.
You can even create templates that are simple greetings, opening intros for when you're working with a new department or business partner, or for holiday greetings. Customize the names or applicable situations for each template before sending the emails out, and it'll save you a lot of time and brain energy. (And don't respond to every meeting request with just an email, by the way. Add your Calendly or other scheduling platform link.)
I often use templates for sending out invoices, hiring new writers, requesting to set up meetings, sending deadline reminders, or addressing process issues with folks who can't seem to follow directions. (Hey, why stress myself out? I simply send a pre-written step-by-step and call it a day.)
Taking a few steps today to organize your inbox and automate how you use it can save a lot of stress and wasted time cleaning up later.
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
If there is one thing that I am going to do, it’s buy myself some scented soy candles. And, as I was looking at a display of them in a TJ Maxx store a couple of weekends ago, I found myself wondering just who decided which scents were considered to be “holiday” ones. The origin stories are actually pretty layered, so, for now, I’ll just share a few of ‘em.
I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that pine comes from the smell of fresh Christmas trees; however, scents like cloves, oranges, and cinnamon are attributed to two things: being natural ways to get well during the cold and flu season, and also being flavors that are used in many traditional holiday meals.
Meanwhile, frankincense and myrrh originate from the Middle East and Africa (you know, like the Bible does — some folks need to be reminded of that—eh hem — Trumpers) and ginger? It too helps with indigestion (which can definitely creep up at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables); plus, it’s a key ingredient for ginger snaps and gingerbread houses. So, as you can see, holiday-themed scents have a rhyme and reason to them.
Tying this all in together — several years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry ‘Christmas Sex’?” Well, in the spirit of revisiting some of that content, with a bit of a twist, I decided to broach some traditional holiday scents from the perspective of which ones will do your libido a ton of good from now through New Year’s Eve (check out “Make This Your Best NYE. For Sex. EVER.”).
Are you ready to check some of them out, so that, whether it’s via a candle, a diffuser, some essential oil, or some DIY body cream (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”), you can bring some extra festive ambiance into your own boudoir? Excellent.
1. Vanilla

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When it comes to holiday desserts, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find recipes that don’t include vanilla — and that alone explains why it is considered to be a traditional holiday scent. As far as your libido goes, vanilla is absolutely considered to be an aphrodisiac — partly because its sweet scent is considered to be very sensual. Some studies even reveal that vanillin (the active ingredient in vanilla) is able to increase sexual arousal and improve erectile dysfunction in men. So, if you adore the smell, here is more incentive to use it.
2. Frankincense

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Although, typically, when people think about frankincense (and myrrh), it’s in the context of the gifts that the wise men brought Christ after he was born; it’s a part of the biblical Christmas story. However, frankincense goes much deeper than that. Sexually, since it has an earthy and spicy scent, some people like to use it to meditate (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”). Also, since it has the ability to put you in a better mood, soothe and soften your skin and maintain your oral health — with the help of frankincense, every touch and kiss can be that much…sexier.
3. Cinnamon

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I already gave cinnamon a shout-out in the intro. Personally, I’ve been a fan of it, in the sex department, for a long time now (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”). When it’s in oil form, it can be very sweet to the taste while sending a warm sensation throughout the body — which is why the giver and receiver of oral sex can benefit from its usage. Beyond that, cinnamon helps to increase blood flow to your genital region, elevate sexual desire and, some studies say that it can even help improve fertility. Beautiful.
4. Peppermint

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If there’s a signature candy for the holiday season, it’s probably a candy cane — which automatically puts peppermint in the running for being an official holiday scent. Pretty much, in any form, it’s got your sex life’s back because it’s hailed as being a sexual stimulant; in part, because its smell is so invigorating. Plus, it helps to (eh hem) ease headaches, it gives you more energy and it can definitely help to freshen your breath. Also, that minty sensation? The same thing that I said about cinnamon can apply to peppermint too (if you catch my drift).
5. Ginger

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Whether it’s in a meal or in your bedroom, ginger is going to produce results that are hella spicy. On the sex tip, science has praised ginger for being able to increase sexual arousal, improve blood circulation (which intensifies orgasms) and strengthen fertility for many years. Scent-wise, I find it to be one that both men and women enjoy because it is both woodsy and sweet. So, if you’ve got some massage oil in mind, adding some ginger is a way to please you both.
6. Pomegranate

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September through December is the time of year when pomegranates are considered to be in season. And, as someone who is a Rosh Hashanah observer, I have a personal adoration for them because I am aware of the various things that they symbolize in Hebrew culture including the fact that they are a fruit that represents love and fertility. So yeah, they would absolutely be an aphrodisiac — one that is perfect for this time of the year. While consuming it helps to boost testosterone levels in both men and women, the floral bittersweet smell that it produces can help to reduce stress while promoting relaxation (like most floral scents do) — and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is to climax.
7. Nutmeg

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Another signature seasoning during the holiday season is nutmeg. It’s perfect in Thanksgiving sweet potato (or pumpkin) pie and Christmas morning French toast. And yes, it can also make your sex life better. If you consume it, it can intensify your libido and, overall, its warm-meets-spicy-meets-sweet smell is so inviting that it is considered to be a pretty seductive scent.
8. Cloves

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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — if you’ve got a toothache, put some clove oil on that bad boy and send me a Christmas present for putting you on game. Aside from that, as I round all of this out, cloves are another holiday scent that can do wonders for your sex life. For men, it has the ability to significantly increase sexual arousal and improve stamina and endurance. For men and women alike, it also has a reputation for strengthening sexual desire. And for women solely? Well, if you want an all-natural way to increase natural lubrication down below — the scent and and feel (in DILUTED oil form) can make that happen. It can make the holidays especially special…if you know what I mean.
Ah yes — the atmosphere of the holidays and what it can do.
Take it all in! Scent ‘n whatever stimulating that comes with it! #wink
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