
Hair styled in a long high ponytail. Lips painted in a popping shade of red that adds even more sexiness to her statement outfit. A black, see-through lace bodysuit paired with streetwear pants of the same color, along with a matching jacket, all accented by a gorgeous set of pearls and white heels. On this sunny winter day, the look of YouTube star Dulce Candy Ruiz fills the streets of her friendly Californian neighborhood with boldness and a fresh breeze of creativity. As she poses in the driveway of her home, Jesse, her husband and biggest supporter, masters her angles and captures the best portraits of her.


From the outside, it looks just like a regular day in the life of a YouTuber who has more than a million followers on Instagram alone. Yet, when Dulce and I both sit down for an interview, I understand from the honesty and vulnerability she exudes that it was, in fact, the day everything changed. It was the day she'd finally gathered enough strength to steer away from the empire that she built to spread her wings and fly to new horizons.
"We were simply outside doing this photo shoot, and I don't know what possessed me," she explains. "I wasn't expecting myself to do that, but I did. I grabbed my phone and tweeted it out: I'm quitting YouTube."
Making the Shift: A Bold Move to Let Go

Courtesy of Dulce Candy Ruiz
The decision for Dulce to quit YouTube took five years. "I didn't have a lot of confidence to let go in the past because I was unclear as to what I wanted to do with my life, which is why it took me so long to redirect my energy," she confesses. "Because YouTube was a safe space for me—it provided me with a lot of stability, I knew what to expect—I kept reverting to the same old pattern and cycle."
Indeed, since 2008, Dulce has positioned herself as a major force in the beauty and fashion industry. Over time, her blog and social media posts, along with her viral YouTube videos, turned her into a trusted source. Most importantly, she's been able to live off of her passion even though she was convinced that foregoing a higher level of education after high school would reduce her chances of one day becoming successful. It's not hard to imagine how much of a tough choice it was to close the book on her biggest accomplishments—let alone in current times when the world is experiencing a devastating pandemic.
When asked what prompted such a bold move, Dulce admits that although YouTube was her safe space, it was no longer her healthy space. Quite the contrary, it had become somewhat of a glass ceiling that was preventing her from elevating to her higher self. "I didn't see myself growing on that platform anymore. I'd reached a point where the things that used to come easy to me before, like editing videos, setting up the lighting and background, or even the content that I was producing as a whole, left me feeling restricted and became difficult to do," she recalls. "I was often making excuses and was also constantly debating whether it was the kind of life I wanted to live or not. I considered these as big signs that it was time for me to move on."
"I believe that life is meant to be lived in a flow. When that's the case, the challenges that you come across in your journey excite you. They become a source of motivation and ultimately lead you to find happiness. On my end, these challenges were pushing me back and draining my energy. I was living in resistance."
Intently listening to Dulce reveal the reasons that drove her out, her words confirm the assumptions that I had of her: that she is the kind of woman who is very mindful of the way she feels, and she uses that information as a compass to guide her through achieving her personal legacy. As I question her on whether or not she still believes that quitting YouTube was the right thing to do, the indubitable intonation of her voice says it all. "[Quitting YouTube] was a really liberating feeling. Once I put it out to the world—an act that I had no doubts would hold me accountable to not go back to my word—the big weight and pressure that I was bearing on my shoulders instantly lifted off, which was a confirmation that I was, indeed, taking a step in the right direction."
"With that said, from the moment the simple thought of quitting crossed my mind five years ago, I knew that it was what I was supposed to do—without consulting my husband, my mother, or anybody else. Something that I learned is how important it is for us to trust our inner voice and let go of the need to seek the opinion of others."
Dulce continues, "It's mandatory to listen to our intuition and to spend the necessary time to learn about ourselves. This is what enables us to harness the power to really discover and understand what we want to do as well as who we want to become. Because deep inside, we know."
Changing the Narrative: Quitters Do Win and Winners Do Quit

Courtesy of Dulce Candy Ruiz
The more we progress as human beings, the more we grant ourselves the permission to tailor the definition of success and allow success to look different on everyone. Nevertheless, it seems like no matter what we decide to equate success to, the ultimate goal remains a common one: to live our best life—or as Dulce beautifully calls it, "passionate living"—regardless of the consequences it may entail.
"One thing I'm not going to do is to stay in a place where I don't feel fulfilled for the sake of stability. Had I stayed in the military when I was younger, I could've benefited from housing, a guaranteed paycheck at the end of every month, and a plethora of other benefits. Yet, I wasn't happy. I don't think that any kind of opportunity or amount of money is worth bringing me down, let alone costing me my peace. And so, I left."
Now, you're probably thinking that walking away from money is way easier said than done—and you're right. I would even say that it's extremely scary. But one thing that speaking with Dulce has taught me is that it's possible.
"If you're not content with your current situation and wish to pursue your goals, do like I do," she advises, "Start by investing two hours of your time daily to work on them. Filter out your surroundings and the things that you consume to help your vibration rise higher. Exert a lot of energy in your dreams and bringing your vision to life while still maintaining your other job, and without allowing the negative emotions it involves to tear you down. It's all about balance here [and keeping your why at the forefront of your mind]."
The Mexico native adds that she is now able to see and experience the world differently and can dedicate her focus to the things she enjoys and the legacy she wants to leave behind. I can't help but think about American football coach Vince Lombardi's famous saying, "Quitters never win, winners never quit." What if the latter, although motivating, was a narrative rooted in falseness or, dare I say, burnout culture? What if, in the end, we all could win regardless?
As time goes by, women of all ages, races, and social statuses keep proving that quitting does not deserve the negative connotation it's always been associated with.
In other words, if it doesn't feel right, may Dulce's testimony serve as a reminder that you're allowed to let go.
Owning Her Pivot and Expanding Her Impact

Courtesy of Dulce Candy Ruiz
At the time of our interview, Dulce still considers herself in transition, and she's giving herself the freedom to surrender to her creative callings and explore different avenues. She's also actively working on the development of her new brand called Sweet Soul—and from what we can see of her recent Instagram stories, a possible second book. (The first, titled The Sweet Life: Find Passion, Embrace Fear, and Create Success on Your Own Terms, was published in 2015 and chronicles the story of how she emigrated from Mexico to the United States, enlisted in the Army, and found her calling in beauty and fashion.) For if the butterfly has decided to desert her kingdom, something that she's not leaving behind is the garden and beautiful flowers that she's been growing for over a decade, namely her audience.
"What also drove me to quit is the fact that I do respect and care for my audience deeply. I value their time a lot and it'd be disrespectful to show up as an inauthentic version of myself that's not passionate just to stick to what I've been doing."
"I want the things they'll take away from the content that I create to always elevate them, and for that to happen, my content must evolve at the same pace as I do. It shall remain in alignment with who I am. Sweet Soul, my upcoming stationery and jewelry line, will be just that. It aims to empower women through self-discovery and self-love. Both have been a defining part of my own journey, and to make helping other women learn how to truly love themselves and how to be confident enough to step into their true essence my purpose feels natural."
Building and ensuring the success of Sweet Soul is a challenge for Dulce, though, but it's one she's excited and enthusiastic to take on. "I really feel like I'm starting from scratch again, which I technically am. It's a new path for me, one that I've never explored before. I've never owned nor have I ever built a thriving company that sells products. From securing a design house to figuring out successful sales and social media strategies, everything is a challenge."
And it's not only that that makes her new venture challenging, there's also the eventuality that she has to rebuild everything that revolves around it, especially her connections and perhaps even her following. "I'm well aware that not everyone will be interested in the things that I'm now pursuing. When you decide to initiate such a shift, everything in your life changes—your attitude, your priorities, your interests, and of course, your relationships."
In a world where individuals are constantly put in boxes, Dulce simply wishes to be seen as who she is. But if she's really to be categorized, then she's a soul-centered creator.
"My legacy doesn't necessarily have to be so huge that it shakes up the generations to come. As long as the people whom I have crossed paths with during my existence remember the way I made them feel, how I showed up in any field of my life, then that's enough for me."
For more of Dulce Candy's life and her new endeavors, follow her on social media @dulcecandy and @sweetsoul.
Featured image courtesy of Dulce Candy Ruiz.
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Your October 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Magnetic Love & Divine Timing
October is about the power of attraction. This is the month to set your intentions, create space for a new beginning, and find your balance between the past, present, and future. There aren’t many astrological transits this month, signaling more possibilities in the air and an opportunity to create that which you desire.
We begin the month in Libra Season, and Libra Season is always the time of year when love is the highlight. With Juno also entering Sagittarius on October 1, right as we begin the month, it’s about committing yourself to a new adventure, to the gifts of love, and to perspectives that heal and bring you closer to another.
October 2025 Astrology: An Overview
Mercury enters Scorpio on October 6, and Mercury in Scorpio only knows depth. The conversations being had this month are inspiring, transformative, and a little more blunt than usual. This energy is good for the power of persuasion and for asking for what you want, especially within business and financial matters. On the same day, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this is a powerful Full Moon for reflection, owning your power, and letting go of the insecurities that don’t resonate with what you want for yourself and your future.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into Libra on October 13 after being in Virgo for the past month, and after some time of healing and clarity in love, Libra is here to bring in the romance. Venus loves being in Libra, and this energy creates new beginnings within relationships and provides a little extra magic in this area of life. With Pluto going direct in Aquarius on the same day after being retrograde since May, life and love move forward mid-October, helping provide more stable and nurturing foundations in your personal life and community as well.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Libra on October 21, making it a beautiful time for manifesting romance, balance, and harmony in your world.
This New Moon aligns with the Sun in Libra, and it’s all about letting a new beginning transform your world and the love in your life for the better. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and Neptune retrograde enters Pisces on the same day, bringing in some water sign energy into the mix. As we close out the month, it’s time to renew, honor the transformations occurring, and know that your dreams aren’t as far out of reach as they may seem at times.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what October 2025 has in store for you.
What October 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about perspective, Aries. This is the month to trust the divine timing of your life, and not let the what-ifs overwhelm you. With the Sun in Libra, your sister sign, for most of the month, October is about building connections, finding your balance in love, and knowing that you are worthy of what your heart is seeking right now. We have a Supermoon in your sign on October 6, and emotions are a little heavier this month, but also healing. Give yourself grace, and let go of what isn’t working for you.
Venus is in your house of love from October 13 until November 6, and there is a lot to look forward to when it comes to romance and the relationship dynamics in your life as you move through the month. It’s about being confident in your power of attraction and letting love come to you right now. Before October comes to an end, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love as well, and with all this energy in your relationship zone, life changes for you in love for the better in October.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a spiritual month for you, Taurus. You are thinking a lot about your next steps ahead, and are getting organized, focused, and aligned. The Supermoon on October 6 is a time of reflection for you, and you are entering the month ready to let go of the past, heal, and create space for something new in your life. This month is all about trusting your intuition and letting your wisdom guide you in your personal growth and evolution.
You are more than where you have been, and this month is a reminder of that.
With Mars in Scorpio and in your 7th house of love all month, you are motivated by the partnerships in your life right now. Your love life and relationships are where the action is for you this month, and you are honoring your passion and direction here. Venus, your planetary ruler, moves into your house of health mid-month and into November, and you are leaving October seeking healthier habits, daily routines, and relationships. Overall, this month is helping you align with your vision.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a fresh start for you, Gemini. Your heart is free, love is beaming, and you are feeling larger than life. This month is about taking a leap of faith in yourself, honoring your confidence in life, and being your biggest advocate. With the Sun in your 5th house of self-expression, romance, and happiness, and with Venus entering this same area of your chart mid-October, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and things are looking up for you.
On October 21, we have a New Moon in a fellow air sign, and this is a good time to set your intentions for creative projects, hobbies, romance, and your overall happiness in life. There are a lot of little moments of magic unfolding for you this month, and this New Moon is one of them. Before October comes to an end, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Sagittarius, and this brings open communication into your relationships, and you are having lively conversations and insights.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a transformative month for you, Cancer. You are moving through closure, healing, and depth as you navigate the opportunities that are coming into your life, with the stability you are seeking. With the Sun in your 4th house of home and family in October, this is the month to spend more time in your safe spaces, connect with your loved ones, and get grounded. You are also more focused on your financial world right now, and this is a good time for building new foundations for yourself and looking at the bigger picture when it comes to your career and life goals.
Mars is in your house of romance and happiness for the entire month, and this is one of the highlights of your life right now. You are passionate about your joy and all the things that light you up inside, and you are protecting your peace and giving more of your energy to your pleasure. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Libra, highlighting your home life, and some Cancers may be moving at the end of the month or getting the opportunity to turn a page here. Overall, this is your month to reflect, go within, and make sense of what has been restricting you from feeling stable.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about taking things one day at a time and being patient with what is presenting itself to you, Leo. This month, you are getting your ducks in a row and gaining the clarity needed to create a new beginning in your life. The month begins with a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign on October 6, aligning in harmony with you and fueling your need for adventure. You are going over the wisdom you have gained as of late and how it has shifted the way you navigate your life and see the world around you.
On October 13, Pluto goes direct in your 7th house of love, after being retrograde here since May. This is bringing in more balance, empowerment, and passion into your love life, and this is a positive change of energy for you after a time of some power struggles within your relationships. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and this New Moon is the best time to set intentions for clarity, communication, and connection. October is about taking your time with things and knowing that everything is working out in your favor at the end of the day.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis October is about finding your balance, Virgo. There is a lot of energy when it comes to your finances this month, but you may be overworking or overcommitting yourself in the process. Honor the opportunities and responsibilities in your life, but make sure you are equally taking care of your health and prioritizing your time and energy so that you don’t burn out. Venus, the planet of love, is in your sign until October 13; use this energy to your benefit and let things come to you.
You are a magnet for abundance, romance, and support if you allow yourself to receive it.
On October 13, Venus moves into your 2nd house of income, and your relationships are a supportive place for you to lean on right now. Your love life and partnerships are where your financial world is evolving this month, and this is a good time to ask for what you want; you never know what may happen. At the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde in your sister sign, Pisces, and you are taking a step back and reassessing what love means for you right now. Overall, October is about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone, Virgo.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra Season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive! This Libra Season changes everything for you, and October is when you really begin to feel this shift in your life. The Sun is in your sign until October 22, and it’s time to put yourself first. With a Supermoon in Aries as we begin the month as well, you are letting go of any unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics that take you away from yourself, and are moving into deeper clarity.
On October 13, Venus, your planetary ruler, enters your sign, where it loves to be the most. With Venus in your sign for the rest of the month, love takes on a new tone, and you are feeling more love for yourself and where life is taking you right now. To end the month, we have a New Moon in Libra, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want life to grow for you over the next year. This is a month of embarking on a new journey of self, and allowing what is inspiring you right now to build your confidence in yourself and your relationships.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about honoring your freedom and your power to decide, Scorpio. A lot is going on for you this month, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your sign at the beginning of the month on October 6, and this is going to help you get your ideas across, making it a good month for business matters, networking, and getting inspired. With Mars also in your sign for the entire month, life moves forward for you in transformative ways in October, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
On October 13, Venus moves into your house of closure, healing, and endings, and you are ready to close one chapter of love and create space for a new one. You are in a contemplative space when it comes to matters of the heart, and you are ready to let go of any heaviness you have been feeling here. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and you are ready to begin again. This Scorpio Season is about owning your confidence in life while letting go of insecurities or self-doubts that have been getting in the way of that.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything unfolds for you in a beautiful way this month, Sagittarius. You are flowing well with the energy of October, and life opens up to you. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations, dreams, manifestations, and community, you are feeling in balance with your desires and your reality, and are bridging the gap here. This is a month of friendship, believing in your dreams, and creating space for love. With Juno also entering your sign at the beginning of the month until the end of the year, you are attracting soulmates into your life.
On October 6, we have a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign, allowing you some closure in love and a chance at healing. Your heart is feeling renewed, and you are owning your power in creating happiness in your life. Before the month ends, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, where it will be until mid-November, and inspiration is heightened. Pay attention to the guidance you are receiving this month, the conversations you are having, and the light bulb moments that are going off for you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about going within and connecting with the guidance of your soul, Capricorn. You are taking more time for yourself this month, and rightly so, as you need time to fully process what has happened so far this year. Pluto goes direct in your 2nd house of income, and this moves things forward when it comes to your earning potential, abundance, and values.
The key this month is in valuing yourself, your perspective, and what you are building in your life right now.
On October 21, we have a New Moon happening in your career zone, and this is a good time to manifest your goals within your professional world. Put yourself out there, show up, and know that you are worthy of success and that your dreams aren’t too big for you. As we close out the month, Mercury moves into your house of closure, even further facilitating your desire for contemplation and alone time this month. Overall, October is about taking care of your mental health, owning your successes, and finding your peace.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you in love and in life, Aquarius. Your heart is feeling inspired, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. The Supermoon at the beginning of the month will be occurring in your 3rd house of communication, giving you the answers you have been looking for and helping you close the door on a chapter in your life that left you feeling misunderstood or misdirected. You are ready for a change of pace this month, and you are receiving that as we begin October.
Mid-October, Pluto goes direct in your sign after being retrograde since May, and this is a huge breath of fresh air for you and your path ahead. You may have been a little harder on yourself while Pluto was retrograde this year, and now you feel ready to forgive, move on, and own your power. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and you are embarking on a new adventure. The end of the month is a good time for traveling, exploring, and gaining a new perspective.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is giving you the guidance, perspective, and passion to see yourself with clear, loving eyes, Pisces. There is a sense of feeling more overwhelmed with life lately, and October is allowing you to gain the insight needed to move on from this energy, or at least see more of the gifts of what has occurred. On October 6, we have a Supermoon in an area of your chart having to do with self-worth, values, and income, and it’s time to see the gifts of what you have been investing in and valuing in your life, including yourself.
Let go of the need to play it small or count yourself out of important conversations, and know that you deserve a seat at the table.
With Pluto going direct in your 12th house of healing as we end the month, you are finally getting the answers you have been looking for emotionally, and it’s changing your perspective on your commitments in life and making you feel empowered. Before the month ends, Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces, and you are going to be moving through a personal revolution as we close out the year. You are inspired by change right now, and this month is what kicks starts this metamorphosis within you.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
To everything, there is a time and a season. King Solomon once said that — and I appreciate him for it because it’s a reminder that, just like earthly seasons come and go, whether we want them to or not, the same happens for seasons in life. And what this means is, at the end of the day, all we can do is prepare.
What’s wild about this pearl of wisdom as it relates to today’s topic is, several years ago, I literally penned an article for the platform entitled, “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?” And, as life would have it, that same year, I also wrote, “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex.” Yes, according to science, when the temperatures drop outside, that is the ideal time to “turn up the heat” indoors.
At the same time, what’s absolutely wild about all of this is, the fall and winter seasons are also when your libido can find itself going through some “not so much in the mood” changes. Yet there goes that seasons thing popping up again because, if after reading this, you can honestly say that you’ve seen yourself in some of these seasonal situations…now you know how to prepare — so that, this year, you can have some of the best sex (in cooler weather) that you’ve ever had.
Let’s get into it.
A Drop in (Natural) Vitamin D Can Lower Your Libido
GiphyEven though vitamins and supplements provide a way for you to get (more) nutrients into your system than what your diet may already be providing you — science definitely believes that the more that you can get nature involved with what you need, the better off you are. That said, it’s no secret that we, as Black folks, have a reputation for being vitamin D deficient and it’s mostly because the natural melanin in our skin makes it harder for us to absorb the vitamin D that comes from sunlight.
Well, since the days are shorter during the fall and winter seasons, what this means is we have to be even more intentional about getting this particular nutrient into our system during that time. And what the heck does any of this have to do with your sex life? Well, vitamin D is a vitamin that actually helps to keep your sex hormones (especially your estrogen and testosterone) levels where they need to be — and so, the less of it that you have in your body, the less of a sex drive you might end up having.
So, if it seems like with cooler weather, you’re not as “in the mood” as you would like, spend more time outdoors when the sun is out, try and keep your window treatments open during the day, take a vitamin D supplement and consume foods like yogurt, tuna, eggs, mushrooms and cheese — they all have plenty of vitamin D in them.
If You’re Less (Physically) Active, It Can Decrease Your Blood’s Circulation
GiphyThe more clothes you have on, typically, the less incentive there is to care about your body looking as in shape as it possibly can. Plus, if you prefer to be outdoors when you do get your exercise in, the bitter cold can make you want to do that less and less often. And that is why, it should come as no surprise that it’s common for individuals to pack on a few pounds during this time of the year.
The reason why this is a sexual cause for alarm is because, the more you work out, the more your blood is able to easily circulate throughout your system. Your partner needs this in order to maintain his erections. You need this because your sexual arousal intensifies, plus, you have a greater chance of experiencing an orgasm when your blood circulation is steadily flowing. So, even if running outside isn’t going to work for you right now, at least make sure to do some workouts at home (some videos that you can check out are located right here).
Fall Weather Can Jack Up Your Sleep Which Can Mess with Your Drive
GiphySomething that you shouldn’t rely on is the belief that if you aren’t getting consistent rest, you can just pick a random day and “catch up” on it. Although more studies are coming out that there may be a bit of truth to that theory, it’s far healthier (and more effective) to intentionally get 6-8 hours of sleep every night and to try and take naps throughout the day, if you can.
The relevance of all of this, as it relates to fall (and winter) weather is, something that time “falling back” can oftentimes do is disrupt your sleeping patterns. In fact, what science reveals is, although in theory it might seem like you are “gaining an hour” when time goes back 60 minutes — all it really means is that days are shorter in the sense of nightfall happening quicker…yet it doesn’t really mean that you will sleep for a longer period of time at all.
If anything, you usually end up having your sleep patterns disrupted which can make you irritable, have low-energy and feeling not as interested in sex as usual (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). A sleep schedule can help with this. Definitely consider creating one for this time of year (if you don’t have one already).
Dehydration (from HVAC Units and Consuming Less Water) Can Make You Lethargic
GiphyNo matter how many warm lattes, hot chocolates and heated up apple ciders you plan on drinking this fall and winter season — you still need to drink some water (or, at the very least, some herbal tea). The reality is that cooler weather has a way of dehydrating people because cold winds are drying and HVAC units (in order to keep you warm) can be as well. One way that you can remedy this from the outside in is to invest in a humidifier; especially for your bedroom (check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”) — and yes, for the sake of your sex life, definitely drink as much water as possible to keep moisture in your system too.
The method to the madness with this one is water not only helps the blood in your body to flow easier (so that your heart doesn’t have to work as hard), it also has oxygen in it which can help you to feel alert and energized. Not to mention the fact that water also helps your system to produce more natural lubrication, can reduce your stress levels and it can help to keep erectile dysfunction from being an issue (or more of an issue) in your partner as well.
You Might Feel More Emotionally/Relationally Detached in the Cooler Months
GiphyAlthough, theoretically, it would seem that the fall and winter seasons would make you want to boo/bae up more than ever — seasonal depression (also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder/SAD) can actually make some people pull in and isolate more than what they typically would. It might be because they are moodier than usual. It might be because they feel lonely and depressed. It could even be that the weather, plus the pressure of the holidays, has them feeling overwhelmed to the point where they simply don’t want to be bothered by too much human interaction.
Whatever the case may be, it’s damn near impossible to have sex with someone if you don’t want them around you — which is why the feelings of emotional and relational detachment during fall and wintertime is something else to take special note of.
Your Diet and Your Libido Tend to Give Each Other Mixed Signals
GiphyCakes. Cookies. Pies. Creamy sauces. Eggnog. Listen, if any time of the year is packed with loads of carbs, it’s the holiday season — not to mention all of the alcohol that’s around. And yes, diet absolutely plays a role in how your libido is gonna act. For one thing, carbs can put your sugar levels on a real roller coaster ride which can have your sex drive all over the place. Then, if you factor in the unhealthy fats that are in a lot of dishes and how fats can lead to bodily inflammation which can, in turn, up your stress levels while decreasing your stress hormones?
Oh, and don’t even get me started on how alcohol can (sometimes) make it challenging for men to keep an erection and men and women to achieve an orgasm. Bottom line here, if you want to have a thriving and fulfilling sex life, there are no seasons to “take off.” Diet is ALWAYS gonna matter.
Holiday Stress Is Well…STRESSFUL
GiphySpending lots of money. Traveling. Preparing for guests in your home. A busier-than-usual schedule. Trying to keep the peace among all of your family members (check out “This Is How To Keep Your Family From Driving You Crazy Over The Holidays”). Even with all of the “holiday cheer” that comes with the holiday season, there is a ton of stress and anxiety that can come with it as well — and when you’re stressed out, this means more cortisol (your body’s stress hormone) is in your system and that less sex hormones are thriving too.
The irony to all of this is sex is a way to reduce stress levels so…even if you’re not feeling like doing it, try a little bit of “faking it until you make it” — it might just be what your body needs to get you through all of the fall and winter season pressure (and sometimes drama).
Cooler Weather Can Decrease a Man’s Testosterone Levels
GiphyAnd finally, something that you might want to tell your man is it's pretty common and normal for men’s testosterone levels to drop a tad during the fall and winter seasons — this is due to much of what I’ve already stated: less exposure to natural vitamin D, a compromised diet, not enough rest, etc. This is actually why, when a man is sexually aroused and he takes a cold shower — it works.
The science behind it is it has a way of temporarily decreasing testosterone levels in a man’s blood. Anyway, in order to keep cool weather from wreaking havoc on his testosterone: lowering stress, taking some zinc, avoiding excessive alcohol consumption, getting plenty of rest and putting some ginger or patchouli essential oil in a diffuser can all help out in this department.
Now that you know how to prepare for the weather that is coming, for the sake of your libido, sis…please do.
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Featured image by Giphy









