Let me be the first to tell you that being a fashion blogger is not all the glitz and glamour that it appears to be. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of perks to being an influencer, from the free clothes to event invitations to being in the same room and connecting with fashion's cool kids.
There are, also, a lot of sleepless nights spent plotting, planning, and producing. So, why do it, you may ask? Because the reward is so much greater than the risk and the work. Let me tell you about how I look forward to Mondays now. For the first time in my life, I'm doing something that I actually, dare I say it, enjoy!
Almost nine years of my life was spent building a very dry career as an Engineer in Corporate America. After obtaining a B.S. in Chemical Engineering from Howard University (Aww HU!), I obtained what most considered a "good job". The paycheck was great, the benefits were amazing, I had three or more weeks of paid vacation but I was 100% and absolutely miserable. It was the very essence of square peg round hole!
A few weeks after celebrating a pretty monumental birthday in Paris and Rome, I had a very real come-to-Jesus moment in my life. Someone very close to me had a completely unexpected near death experience. The realization that death can come at any moment has a funny way of shifting your perspective on life. About a month or so after breaking down, jumping on plane last minute, and braving through the severity of the situation, I got a knock on my door. Life showed up and asked me, “Are you going to continue to be miserable or are you going to try to turn this thing around? It's your choice."
A huge part of who you are is how you react to moments of adversity. That situation forced me to be more involved with the direction of my life. I did not have to keep showing up at that job, looking at those gray walls and being stationed at that cubicle for hours doing work that gave me not one ounce of joy. I actually had the power to change it.
I did, however, have to figure out how the bills were going to get paid because they don't stop showing up just because you've had your “Aha" moment. I spent a few more years working and simultaneously building the foundation for my personal style blog, The Werk! Place.
Along this process of continuing to walk in my purpose and getting these bills paid, I've learned a few key lessons:
Lesson #1: It Will Take Some Time Before You Are Paid For Your Work
I learned very quickly as an influencer that just because you've invested time, energy, money and resources into your craft, doesn't mean that people want to pay you for it. You may have to do some a lot of work pro bono.
Starting out, not one person is going to be familiar with your brand, work ethic, or finished product, so you're going to have to show them what you're werking with! Find the right contacts, do the werk and build the portfolio. Once you've shown the consistency and quality needed to sustain your business, then you have the tools necessary to ask for what you deserve.
Lesson #2: Your Network Is Your Net Worth
I'll be honest, I still struggle with this one a little bit. I absolutely hate asking people to connect me to a person, event, or a project. I will do everything in my power to try to get what I need before I go to someone else for the plug. Just know, If I'm asking for help, I've exhausted the possibilities on my own. One day, I'll spend some time on someone's couch and get to the root of it all.
As of late, I'm learning that some people are placed into your life to be vessels. They are meant to take you to a level that you can't reach on your own. So get out there and network at events, mingle with other influencers, publicists and brands on social media, and utilize the network you've already built. Once you reveal to others what you are trying to do, you'd be surprise at how many people are willing to help you get there.
Lesson #3: You Have To Be Your Own Publicist
As an influencer, it goes down in the inbox (and sometimes the DM). If it's set up well, the site and the accompanying social media channels can serve as a living resume. Brands will reach out for collaborations based on what they see online.
Brands were reaching out but they were not always brands that I wanted to align with The Werk! Place. I had to be more active about seeking out the companies that I genuinely enjoyed to create organic partnerships.
I put on my Public Relations hat and called on my best friend Google to create a media kit that would represent my aesthetic. Shortly after I sent it out to potential partners I wanted to work with, it lead to projects that made more sense for my brand.
Lesson #4: You Will Have To Put The Balance Back Into Werk/Life Balance
When you've finally started to enjoy what you do, your brain will always be churning with ideas. You will find that you can literally work for seven days straight if it were not for needing sleep and taking showers.
I learned that while that sounds good in theory, in practice, you can't be very productive if you work all the time. You will burn out and begin to despise what you do. You have to give your body and mind time to rest. I've gotten some of my best ideas in the middle of a run or in the car on the way to an event. Take a break, live a little.
Lesson #5: You Can't Be A Jack or Jill Of All Trades All The Time
I'm pretty independent and have prided myself on being able to do all of the things at the same time all by myself. I mean, my favorite bible verse and one that I repeat several times throughout the day is Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!" As a small business owner, you're going to have to wear many hats (like all of them). You are going to have to be your own accountant, publicist, manager, assistant, social media manager, and so forth until you start bringing in enough income to hire on people to help you. You'll soon figure out, however, that in order to stay ahead of the game, you're going to have to eventually outsource and delegate some of those tasks.
So much of my time has been spent on the business of blogging that, at times, the actual blogging gets left behind. How Sway?! If you can get someone to manage more of the business, social media scheduling or accounting, you can actually get back to the core of the business.
Lesson #6: Scared Money Doesn't Make Any Money
When I started out as a Personal Style Blogger back in 2012, I set myself up pretty well. Due to my certifiable shopping addiction, I had the clothes, shoes and accessories to create the looks necessary for three years' worth of blog posts. However, I wasn't completely prepared for the other business expenses that I would incur.
If you are going to be successful as an influencer, you will absolutely without a doubt have to invest money into your brand. Your site design, domain name, logo, trademark, (hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure --if your brand is based off of your personal appearance), business cards, thank you notes, media kit, accounting software and continuing education courses will all be valid expenses when starting up your business. Before the companies start blowing up your inbox and sending packages to your P.O. Box, you will have to be your own biggest supporter and sponsor.
These are some of the biggest lessons I've learned during my time as a fashion brand, and tidbits I wish I had known ahead of time.
For more style tips and advice on starting your own fashion brand, follow @tiffanymbattle on Instagram.
Originally published April 13, 2018
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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