2021 taught us so much. In 2022, we are applying all that knowledge. More than anything we want to learn how to make ourselves available to both the beauty and pain this new year brings. New year, new me is always the mantra applied to this time of year. But how can we effectiely move forward with what could be without reflecting on what's been? As we look ahead to the next calendar year, we wanted to hear from some women about how their resilience manifested in 2021 and what they are speaking life in 2022.
Here's what they shared.
Rachel Owens
Courtesy of Rachel Owens
How She Made It Through 2021:
"In my opinion, 2021 should be renamed '2020: The Aftermath.' Balancing dealing with the loss of my father, the recovery of my toddler’s two open-heart surgeries as a heart patient myself, building a multi-six-figure business after losing my job, and living the Active-Duty Military Spouse life has challenged every non-emotional bone I thought I had in my body. It has been the year of BIG FEELINGS and challenges. The year of 'oh you thought you were strong?'
"The only way I made it through was GOD, a whole lot of prayer and crying out, some good throwback gospel that will make you fall on your knees, self-care routines, travel, wine, and sisterhood chats. Sometimes you just can’t do it by yourself!"
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"For 2022, I’m manifesting a continued beautiful and healthy union, securing generational wealth, good health, a life filled with peace and joy, meaningful relationships, seeing more of the world, Black girls winning being the standard and not the exception, luxury being the norm, growth, philanthropy, turning heads and shaking the room!"
Shyleshia “Shy” Daire
Courtesy of Shyleshia “Shy” Daire
How She Made It Through 2021:
"If 'they see my glory, but they don’t know my story' was a person, it would be a perfect summation of my 2021. Wearing the hat of a deployed spouse, mother, business owner, graduate student, model, and advocate of women empowerment pushed me to my limit. Getting through 2021 was possible because I stopped waiting for things to happen and started making things happen. I chose to take up the space in life I earned by making my own seat at every table, allowing my grind to fuel me and not move me. Walking in every room knowing that what’s mine, is mine. Maya Angelou said it best, 'I am the dream and the hope of the slave.'
"The moment I became 'woke' and stopped playing with my own potential, I shifted into my highest vibration. Deliberate of keeping my thoughts and intentions towards myself good, and my motives pure, the baggage became lighter. In 2021, I became teachable and willing to transform, I shifted out of stagnation and the willingness to conform to what society thought I should be, into me. I learned to simply BE, and I BECAME."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"In 2022, I am manifesting new and genuine connections. I am intentionally manifesting self, spiritual, and financial growth for myself. I am establishing new ways to empower women and become the best version of myself in the process. I am walking into situations designed to serve me and believing nothing happened by chance. I will be gracious to myself; I maintain an attitude of gratitude. I care for myself, and as a result, I exude positive energy. I am my ancestors' wildest dreams!"
Imani Nicholson
Courtesy of Imani Nicholson
How She Made It Through 2021:
"I made it through 2021 by really honing in on my creative process! I was fortunate enough to work from home so I capitalized on that. I brainstormed, created, brainstormed, and created some more! The removal of my commute to work really freed up time for me to work on my passions! I was also able to connect with other women who love beauty on Clubhouse and that opened so many doors and beautiful friendships for me! Knowing I had that support system really helped with my professional and personal growth!"
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"For 2022, I am manifesting bigger brand collaborations and pushing the envelope on the quality of content I create so that I connect more with my growing community of beauty and fashion lovers!"
Tomi Obebe
Courtesy of Tomi Obebe
How She Made It Through 2021:
"[2020] was difficult for a lot of people, myself included. As a self-employed business owner with an autoimmune disease, I struggled with isolation. 2021 was dedicated to how I could revive my relationships and intentional check-ins with my closest friends and family whenever I could. I also made a point to travel and experience a few new places with my husband once we got our vaccines.
"It's not until things change that you realize how much you can take for granted. This period in time continues to humble me and remind me of who and what is most important in my life. Without my circle, my faith, and a steady stream of chaotic reality TV (thank you Real Housewives), my year would've been a struggle."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"I'm claiming health, wealth, and clarity in abundance for myself and all those around me."
Amanda Johnson
Courtesy of Amanda Johnson
How She Made It Through 2021:
"Honestly, as someone who has a full-time job and also still manages a blog full-time, it has always been a struggle finding balance. I personally feel as if working from home full-time was a HUGE help since I could shoot content on my hour lunch break with my photographer. I also was taken on by an agency and having a manager who negotiates contracts for me has been a game-changer time-wise. I am able to spend more time on content creation while saving time on the nitty-gritty details. They also help me manage my deadlines!"
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"My personal goal is to double the income that I made in 2021. I was able to accomplish this in 2021 and hope to do the same this coming year. I'd also love to continue utilizing Pinterest marketing and growing my blog views using this!"
Asa Dugger
Courtesy of Asa Dugger
How She Made It Through 2021:
"Through prayer, and prioritizing myself through rest, leisure, and therapy."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"For 2022, I'm manifesting divine provision in my relationships, finances, and emotional health!"
Lynette
Courtesy of Lynette
How She Made It Through 2021:
"Intentionally embracing balance and being misunderstood. Anyone who knows me knows self-care in every aspect of life is my jam. 2021 gave the opportunity to put these skills to practice. As a healthcare professional, balance in 2021 became extremely important not only for self-care, continued reflection, and self-awareness but in navigating which conversations are helpful to yield promising results versus those that increase anxiety and perpetuate division. This [past] year gave me ample opportunity to become comfortable with being misunderstood and embracing not only NOT having the last word, but also NOT forcing dead-end lengthy explanations.
"2021 allowed me to continue to protect my God-provided personal peace and that of my sanctuary at home above all costs, regardless of family, friends, society, or work. Embracing where accountability meets the balance of my inner critic creating self-awareness and taking deep resetting breaths to perpetuate it!"
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"Balance changes daily, so continuing to make habits of everything above, inviting new challenges with God as my pilot."
Codou Diop
Courtesy of Coudou Diop
How She Made It Through 2021:
"2021 was a hard year but also a great year. I hit a lot of milestones! I made it through the year by being kind to myself and celebrating every small win. I also made it thanks to my community and my family. The pandemic has brought me close to such amazing like-minded creators that I would have never had the opportunity to meet."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"Love, health, success, and happiness."
Thaina Blot
Courtesy of Thaina Blot
How She Made It Through 2021:
"This year I said no to fear and yes to my husband and my dream of moving abroad. This pivot has brought so much light to what I value most and has provided the space to focus and cultivate more of those things."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"For 2022 I'm manifesting more peace, more love, health, laughter and unapologetically creating art daily."
Jazmyn Creer
Courtesy of Jazmyn Creer
How She Made It Through 2021:
"I made it through 2021 with a whole bunch of perseverance and honesty in my pain surrounding my desires. I had been wanting to leave a job for a long time and it felt like it wouldn’t come, but it did. In that, my husband and I would like to have our first child and it seemed like everyone but us have gotten pregnant. Just reminding myself that my/our journey is never the same as someone else’s and there is always a process and reason for what we go through."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"For 2022, I would like to spend more time enjoying the simplicity of life and everything that involves. I don’t want a lot of clutter, be it people, things, tools."
Francesca Murray
Courtesy of Francesca Murray
How She Made It Through 2021:
"I made it through 2021 by doing the work to break my scarcity mindset. Be it purchasing a book or course to learn something quickly instead of watching YouTube, or paying extra on a flight for priority boarding and roomier seats. I realized things don't always have to be done the hard way - and that convenience doesn't have to be a luxury. I no longer feel guilty for investing in what facilitates ease in my life, which has been great for my mental health!"
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"A consistent daily routine that allows me to be as efficient as possible while prioritizing rest - something we all deserve after the past two years we've had!"
Fenique
Courtesy of Fenique
How She Made It Through 2021:
"2021 was quite the year! Hope, believing in myself, and seeing other Black women glow up in their aspirations got me through this year. I began the year with a new man, a steady job, and plans for my 12.1cm fibroid tumor to be removed. Two weeks before my surgery the man vanished. Several weeks later I found myself free of tumors and a new job. Throughout the first two quarters of 2021, my perspective on my priorities changed. I’ve been working on my career for 10 years. This year I decided to focus on the things that have made me come alive.
"In September, I stepped out on faith in myself and quit my new job. I had no work-life balance and had a part-time job that could help me supplement my life. I really loved sharing my myomectomy story on my YouTube channel as well as my food and fashion content.
"I decided to focus on my brand. I’ve spent the fourth quarter of 2021 on a sabbatical from my 9-5 job. It has been the best decision of my life. I’ve decided to pivot into a different area in tech, go after my influencer dreams, and put my mental and physical health above everything else."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"Going into the new year I feel renewed and driven. I’m manifesting happiness, an abundance of peace, and success in all of my heart's desires."
Lakeisha
Courtesy of Lakeisha
How She Made It Through 2021:
"The truth is, I don’t know how I made it. One thing I did do was change my thinking from focusing so much on the future and learning how to take things day by day. I learned how to ask for help, for space, for grace, and for understanding. I spent more time with myself so I could learn about myself and made choices to surround myself with people and energy that fueled me. I read a lot of books so I could learn and understand other perspectives.
" I prayed, I cooked, I sang, I focused on forgiving, and sending love out to the world even when I felt I had none to give. I thanked God every day, even on the hard days. I wrote in a gratitude journal almost every day. I guess you can say I became way more intentional day-to-day and in return, I was given choices and another day to breathe and that’s how I made it through 2021."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"I am manifesting a life I don’t need a vacation from. That includes a safe and sacred space to live, a healthy body, mind, and spirit through meditation, exercise, and lucrative connections that are more than just finances. Harmonizing my time to do the things I love while contributing to the bigger picture of my life."
Jacinda F. McDuffie
Courtesy of Jacinda F. McDuffie
How She Made It Through 2021:
"I made it through 2021 with faith and family. In 2018, in the blink of an eye, I became the primary caregiver for my mommy; in 2019 my daddy died unexpectedly; in 2020 the pandemic caused my travel agency to come to a screeching halt, and in 2021 things started to slowly gain momentum. I do have a full-time job but my agency is my baby and my passion. Not being able to assist people to live out their travel dreams was/is hard BUT I know God will continue to work all of this out."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"For 2022 I am manifesting continued good health for my family, me, and others, a prosperous business and to continue to walk the path God sees fit for me."
Nyla Bland
Courtesy of Nyla Bland
How She Made It Through 2021:
"Every New Year, I select a word of the year. For 2021, I chose 'INTENTIONAL'. Keeping this word in the forefront is what helped me make it through this whirlwind of a year. In my younger days, I tended to be more reactive than proactive. Now I entered every decision with pure intent and calculation. Whether it was prioritizing self-care or choosing to work double to get ahead. Being intentional has become a way of life and has changed me for the better.
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"I’m manifesting clarity for women business owners around the world. That their newly formed, or pivoted, or expanded businesses continue to increase. And that they are effective leaders within their communities and organizations."
R'Chelle Mullins
Courtesy of R'Chelle Mullins
How She Made It Through 2021:
"After having a few impactful businesses deals and partnerships fall apart along with a fibroid diagnosis and two major surgeries this year, forgiveness, therapy and, radical self-care played a major part in my survival. Once I forgave others and myself, the road to healing mentally, physically, and emotionally was so much easier. Therapy helped me to appreciate who I am and navigate life with ease and live in the present."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"Financial security, more meaningful relationships/friendships, and the launch of my agency."
Amber Spottsville
Courtesy of Amber Spottsville
How She Made It Through 2021:
"2021 handed me my entire black ass, okay?! But GAWD. A lot of prayer and therapy were involved, approximately 22 bottles of Black Girl Magic Riesling (shout out to the McBride Sisters), and a deep dive into self-care and self-realization. 2021 taught me how to simply let go and let flow. I gave frequent self-reminders that 'comparison is the thief of joy,' I’m running my own race and doing it well evidently because I am still here. I will be 30 in 2022 and I am NOT defeated."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"I am manifesting love, both platonic and romantic, health, wealth, and a whole [lot of] growth through me and around me in 2022. And most importantly, I am welcoming all the ebbs and flows with an open mind and heart."
Lauren D. Fisher
Courtesy of Lauren D. Fisher
How She Made It Through 2021:
"The grace of God! [2021] was definitely a year of tests and strength with quitting a job I hated to getting one I love, new love (still figuring each other out), and getting in a wreck totaling a new car after having to get a new car when my 10-year-old baby’s engine went out."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"I’m manifesting it all! More travel, a new home, new opportunities, and organic happiness!
Andrea Ellison
Courtesy of Andrea Ellison
How You Made It Through 2021:
"2020 was my precursor for 2021. I left an abusive marriage for the final time and I've been on a journey rebuilding myself from the inside out. As a single mother of three children, it hasn't been easy. I have continued pursuing my second Master's degree in Social Work while working. My friendships have been the epitome of greatness and have been my continued source of motivation.
"To not only just live my best life but to thrive. Being able to travel to multiple places such as taking my kids to Denver to go skiing for the first time and turning up with my girls in Mexico, Puerto Rico, and Paris have been those reminders that I need to remember that my life is worth living at the absolute highest level."
What She’s Manifesting For 2022:
"My experience is serving the foundation for me to be able to assist women who are domestic violence survivors and who are transitioning from divorce and relationships to empower them to redefine themselves and to identify their purpose. For 2022, I'm continuing to come for every blessing that I thought I didn't deserve in every area of my life."
Alicia Myers and Samantha Joseph
Courtesy of Alicia Myers and Samantha Joseph
How They Made It Through 2021:
"2021 proved to be a year of isolation and self-cleansing. Through this process, the discrimination we have experienced over the years surfaced and it was a perfect time to bring to life a dream of ours to create a fashion show that would answer to the inequalities evident in the fashion industry. Samantha and I came together and formed our non-profit organization Color of Fashion which was created to elevate fashion and promote inclusivity by bridging the gap between diversity and high fashion. We made Color of Fashion our utmost priority and it quickly developed into a movement that we will continue to breathe life into."
What They’re Manifesting For 2022:
"For 2022, we are manifesting a larger impact and aim to shed light on the biases that continue to plague the fashion industry. We plan to maximize our resources and grow exponentially so we can be the change this industry needs."
Featured image courtesy of Shyleshia “Shy” Daire
RELATED
July 2025 Astrology Overview
Uranus Enters Gemini
Uranus makes an important transit this month and enters Gemini on July 7 after being in Taurus since 2018. Uranus in Gemini is a wildcard, and anything can happen during this time. With Uranus being the planet of change, upheaval, and breakthrough, and Gemini being the sign of communication, there is a new opening appearing in life, especially regarding creative and business matters.
A few days later, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, grounding all the energy we have experienced the past month. This Full Moon is about creating space for more security, understanding, and purpose to enter your life, and to own your power in creating your dreams.
Saturn Goes Retrograde, Then Mercury
Saturn goes Retrograde on July 13 until November 27, and Saturn Retrograde brings a push towards growth, but also examines what has been restricting you from doing so. With Saturn currently in Aries, you may be feeling more challenged in standing up for yourself and your beliefs and owning your growth. It’s about reminding yourself how far you have come and knowing that things can get better for you at any moment.
A few days later, we have Mercury going retrograde in Leo, and this Mercury Retrograde is also feeling more personal. It’s about examining how you express yourself and live in your confidence, and overcoming miscommunication with others by showing up exactly as you are authentically.
Leo Season Begins, Chiron Goes Retrograde & Venus Enters Cancer
Leo Season officially begins on July 22, bringing more sunshine after the emotional waters of Cancer Season. Even though we are in Retrograde Season now, with the Sun in Leo, we find the power to overcome even the most trying times. On July 24, we have a New Moon in Leo, making this a powerful New Moon to set intentions for your inner power, creativity, hobbies, self-expression, and where you want to shine in life. Chiron goes retrograde on July 30, and Venus enters Cancer on the same day, and we leave July, entering a new door in love.
One that is more healing and passionate than before. Overall, July is a month of closure and one that is creating the new ground for more purpose, excitement, and love to grow. Keep reading for your Sun, Moon, and rising sign below to see what July has in store for you.
Jump to Your Sign
Aries | Taurus | Gemini | Cancer | Leo | Virgo | Libra | Scorpio | Sagittarius | Capricorn | Aquarius | Pisces
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleA lot of things are brought to your attention this month, Aries. Neptune entered your sign this year for some time to come, and this month Neptune goes retrograde in Aries until the end of October. For you, this means you need some more time to process, understand yourself and your emotional world better, and you are clearing the fog. You are entering Retrograde Season with a deep inner clarity, but also an understanding that your healing doesn’t need to be rushed.
Mid-month, Saturn goes retrograde in Aries until September 1, and it’s important not to be hard on yourself right now. You have a strong urge to transform your life this month, but things may not be happening as quickly with the retrogrades in your sign. On July 30, Chiron also goes retrograde in Aries until 2026, and you end the month in introspection, with the need to take care of your health more. This month is a reminder that you can make plans, but divine timing will always have a say.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is a month of closure for you, Taurus. You begin the month with Uranus going retrograde in your 2nd house of income, and it’s a good time to prepare for a rainy day. Uranus is going to be shifting the dynamics in your life when it comes to your financial investments, earnings, and sense of stability, and it’s time to open your mind to what is possible for you and your abundance in life. You are learning to be fearless when it comes to owning your authenticity, and knowing that who you are is unique and worthy of love.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon happening in your 9th house, creating an opportunity for travel plans to follow through, or you just feeling more adventurous in general. Mid-month is about letting go of old belief systems that don’t resonate with your heart, and clearing the way for the new to be built in your life. You end the month with Chiron retrograde in your 12th house of endings, and you are learning through what is transforming in your life.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are a powerhouse this month, Gemini. This is a month of achievement, success, and growing more deeply into your power. We begin the month with Venus entering your sign from July 4 until July 30, and love is taking you to new heights. This is a good month for making relationship developments, and for being received well. You are growing in your inner confidence and self-love, and this is creating more harmony in your partnerships as well.
One of the most important astrological transits of the year happens for you this month, and that is Uranus entering your sign on July 7, where it will remain until 2033. With Uranus now being in your sign, you are entering a journey of freedom, rebellion, self-expression, breakthrough, and immense change. You are dancing to the beat of your own drum and will be surprising others by how much life changes for you over the next eight or so years. We end the month with Mercury going retrograde in your 3rd house of communication, remember to think things through as you close out the month.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is a month of communication, creativity, and self-expression, Cancer. Cancer Season is here for you, and you are moving through the month claiming your power, speaking from the heart, and balancing your needs with others’ needs in your life. The Full Moon of the month on July 10 is your opportunity to let go of anything that has been weighing you down in your close partnerships, and to create room for more stable, committed, and fulfilling love to enter.
On July 24, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be happening in your 2nd house of income, abundance, and self-worth. You are evaluating how you want to show up and ask for what you need, and are preparing for a financial breakthrough. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for your financial world and to see new ways to create a stronger foundation for yourself here. We end the month with Venus entering your sign from July 30 until August 25, and love feels a little more intense, passionate, and purposeful now.
Your guidance for the month overall is to know that you are the magnet for the things you want in your life, and that you have the power to rise above and claim them.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJoy is what this month is about for you, Leo. You are entering a fulfilling time in your life, where everything comes together for you better than you have ever imagined it to. Mercury goes retrograde in your sign this month from July 18 - August 11, but it’s not stopping you from enjoying your life and living out your truth. You are moving through this Retrograde fearlessly and learning more about yourself in the process.
Leo Season officially begins on July 18, and it’s your time to shine your light, Leo. With the Sun in Leo, you feel like your authentic self is being recognized and loved, and you are healing from a space of feeling like you have to do it all alone. A few days later, we have a Leo New Moon on July 24, and this is the time to set your intentions for your future and for how you want to show up in the world moving forward. July is your month of fulfillment through growth, compassion, and community, and for feeling like you have everything you need.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is all about perspective, Virgo. You are getting inspired this month, creating new plans for your life, and owning an adventurous side to yourself. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations for most of the month, July is a great time to manifest your dreams and to feel more powerful in creating your reality. Some Virgos could be traveling this month and seeing previous plans through, and you are gaining clarity on a lot of aspects of your life by doing things in a new way right now.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde this month and will be retrograding through an area of your life that has to do with healing, closure, spirituality, and your dream world. Pay attention to the messages you are receiving during this time, because they are guiding you towards your healing and personal empowerment. The New Moon on July 24 will also be highlighting your need to close one chapter of your life and begin another, and you are closing out the month with a new perspective in your heart and soul.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of fulfillment for you, Libra. A lot of things are falling into place for you in July, and you are owning your freedom and independence right now. Uranus enters your 9th house of travel at the beginning of the month, and you are entering a new journey in your life where you do things in your own way and when you break free of the status quo. You are growing so much mentally this year, and July is when the work you have done internally is being reflected externally.
On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 4th house of home, family, stability, and emotional harmony, and you are finding your balance. This is a Full Moon of forgiveness, and one where you are recognizing the power in self-care and taking care of your inner world. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Leo, and you are seeing a breakthrough happen within your friendships, community, and support system. You have some exciting opportunities coming your way this month, and you are living life in your own way and on your own terms.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is about protecting your energy, Scorpio. You have been setting your intentions and creating the life you dream of, and it’s important to create boundaries from those who don’t understand your vision or support you right now. With Uranus moving out of your 7th house of love and entering your 8th house of transformation, after changing things up in your relationships for the past eight years, you are ready to break free from old pain, experiences, or uneasiness in love.
Mercury goes retrograde this month on July 18, and will be retrograde in your house of career. This is the time to take a step back, go over your goals, and give life time to catch up to your dreams. The New Moon on July 24 will be activating this same area of your life, and you are getting glimpses of what is possible for you and your sense of success as you end the month. Overall, your main message this month is to not give up on who you are and what you are building towards, and to know that you are on the right path.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a powerful month of growth for you, Sagittarius. You have the Midas Touch, and you are creating abundance in your life. With Venus and Uranus moving into your 7th house of love, partnership, harmony, and wealth, there are a lot of new opportunities coming your way right now. You are someone who is out-of-the-box and does things their own way, and this energy is serving you well right now and making you a magnet for new opportunities to enter your life.
Mid-month, we have a Full Moon in your 2nd house of abundance and self-worth, and you are feeling more appreciation and value in your life. Previous financial intentions and plans are coming to fruition for you now, and you are ready to let go of the self-doubt of it all. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this New Moon is asking you to take more creative risks and to trust that you are on the right path, even if it looks different than others. If it feels right for you, it probably is, Sag.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything comes to fruition for you this month, Capricorn. July is your month of achievement, closure, and claiming your power, and you are doing so confidently. The Sun is in your house of love and partnership for most of the month, and July creates a space of happiness and commitment within your close relationships. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in Capricorn, and life comes full circle for you. Everything you have been building in your life over the past year is being reflected to you now, and you are feeling a lot of gratitude for where life is today.
Mid-month, your ruling planet Saturn, goes retrograde, and this is shifting the energy in the home. Whatever dynamics that have felt a little shaky for you in the home or with family are being addressed now, and you are learning the importance of healing your inner world and doing the work internally. With a New Moon in your 8th house of transformation to end the month, you are getting a little more vulnerable in July, and it’s surprising others, but even yourself. This is your month of closing one door in your life in peace, and seeing a new one bloom in the process.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJuly is about taking things slow and thinking things through, Aquarius. Relationship dynamics in your life could be causing some challenges or confusion, and it’s best to choose your battles wisely right now. With the Sun in your house of health and daily rituals for most of the month, it’s important to take care of your well-being before you try to fix anything else. On July 10, we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of healing, closure, and spirituality, and this is a good time to reflect on everything you want to let go of in your life right now and what you no longer want to carry forward with you into your new beginnings.
Saturn, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde in your house of communication this month, and over the next few months, you are going to be learning about the power of your words. Make sure you are only speaking of things you want to bring forth into existence, and be careful with jumping to assumptions right now. Before the month ends, Mercury goes Retrograde in your 7th house of love, and your heart is seeking forgiveness. Know that you can find clarity during this time by being honest with yourself and your heart.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThere is a lot to process this month, and your mind is healing, Pisces. July is your month of overcoming past challenges and letting go of habits and routines that don’t serve you in the long run. Neptune, one of your ruling planets, goes Retrograde this month, and will be bringing your attention to your values and income world during this time. This transit is allowing you to gain clarity on your financial reality, establish greater self-worth and confidence, and get inspired by what is possible for you and your sense of abundance in life.
On July 18, Mercury goes retrograde in your 6th house of health, and you are ready to let go of the daily rituals or working routines that have been limiting your personal growth in some way. It’s time to examine what your body, mind, and soul are asking for right now, and to have the power to let go of what doesn’t resonate with your overall well-being. Before the month ends, Chiron goes retrograde in your 2nd house as well, joining Neptune, and there is a lot of healing to be done this month.
You are being asked to see yourself as a powerful, worthy, and loved being you are, and to know that you deserve to feel good about your life and to feel secure in what you are building for yourself and your future.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
GiphyFrom grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
GiphyA part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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