June is a month of overcoming challenges, clarity, new relationship developments, and being more flexible with life. Gemini Season is underway, and when the Sun is in Gemini, we understand the depths of communication. This is a good month for connection, networking, and finding more common ground with others, and there is power in working together right now.
Venus enters Taurus on June 6 until July 4, and Venus loves being in Taurus, making love and relationship matters especially prominent this month. Venus in Taurus creates a foundation for love and romance, and it’s about planting your seeds in love, creating space for more love to enter, and nourishing what is working for your relationships right now.
Mercury enters Cancer a few days later from June 8 until June 26, and this will be bringing another focus into where your heart stands right now, and the importance of communicating that and spending more time focused on your emotional and intuitive world.
June 2025 Horoscope Overview: A Month of Clarity, Connection & Change
We have a big transit this month, and that is Jupiter's move from Gemini into Cancer on June 9. Jupiter changes signs once a year, and these more lengthy transits in the stars hold a lot of impact. With Jupiter being the benevolent planet of blessings, expansion, spirituality, wisdom, and good fortune, Cancer placements, water signs, and cardinal signs will feel the blessings of this transit a little more strongly.
With Jupiter now in Cancer until June 30, 2026, expansion is available within you, in your home space, your emotional world, and within the things that really matter to you deep down. Jupiter in Cancer brings Mother energy, and there are opportunities for feeling supported, nourished, and safe in this transit.
The Full Moon for the month is on June 11, and is a Strawberry Moon in Sagittarius. This Full Moon is eye-opening, and emotions will be worn on their sleeve. Mid-June is all about letting go of what doesn’t inspire or support your vision for your future, and having more fun with the way life is playing out for you. Mars enters Virgo on June 17 until August 6, making this a summer of getting organized, taking care of your priorities and health, healing, having more energy to do it all, and feeling inspired to create space for a new beginning.
Cancer Season officially begins on June 20, and a few days later, we have a New Moon in Cancer on June 25. This New Moon further amplifies the emotional journey this month is taking us on, and there is a new door opening here. This Cancer New Moon is about setting your intentions from your heart, spending more time with the people who make you feel loved, and about healing in the home.
Overall, June is a month where a lot is being presented, and there are some things to work through with others, but the more you can grasp what both your heart and your head are telling you, the more you can navigate this time with divine trust, power, and timing.
Read for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what June has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
June is a month of gathering your strength and remembering that you are worth everything you are working towards right now, Aries. This month is about picking your head up and seeing yourself the way you want others to. It’s about giving yourself the same time and care that you have been giving to other priorities, and remembering your power this month.
With the Sun in your 11th house for most of June, you are being asked to look at your dreams and inspirations as signs from the universe.
The Full Moon on June 11th is a reflection of everything you have experienced this year, and where your heart stands now. You are letting go of old versions of happiness that don’t resonate with you anymore and reclaiming your inner confidence. Jupiter forms a Square to Saturn in Aries on June 15, and it can feel like forces are working against your progress at times this month. Know that redirection is protection, and you are being asked to trust the timing of it all a little more right now.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
June is a month of victory, Taurus. You are making some major accomplishments this month, and feeling supported in doing so. This is a month of upliftment, owning your dynamic nature, and creating a new beginning in your life through accepting the gifts and blessings that are coming your way right now. With Venus in your sign for most of the month, there is love surrounding you in June, and you are looking around in gratitude.
Mars moves into Virgo and your house of romance, creativity, hobbies, happiness, and pleasure this summer, and there are a lot of exciting and heartfelt experiences ahead of you. These next few months are going to be great for you when it comes to love, self-expression, and feeling the joy of your world. On June 25, we have one of the best New Moons of the year for you to manifest by writing down your intentions or speaking them into existence. At the end of the month, it’s all about focusing on your dreams and aspirations, and knowing that you have the power to bring them to reality.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
June is a powerful month for you, and it’s your time to shine, Gemini. Gemini Season is fully underway, and good karma is coming your way right now. This is your time to find your balance, feel empowered by what has been and what is now, and to trust where the universe is guiding you. Jupiter moves out of your sign on June 5 after expanding your world for the past year, and this is helping you take a deep breath and feel a little less pressure on your shoulders.
On June 11, we have a Full Moon in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are letting go of relationship dynamics or experiences that don’t serve you, and are focused more on where the support is growing in your life. This Full Moon can also highlight your financial world, and you are gaining clarity on how to feel more abundant or supported here.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
June is a beautiful month for you, Cancer. You are feeling in tune with your heart’s desires, and are being met with magic. This is a month of honoring the connections and support in your life, feeling the strength of love, and experiencing more romance and joy in your world. Jupiter enters your sign on June 5, and with the planet of blessings in your sign for the next year, you are going to be experiencing the gifts of a new beginning and are exuding main character energy this month.
Cancer Season officially begins on June 20, and you are entering this year’s Cancer Season on a high note.
You are empowered by where life and love are for you right now, and there is a strong sense of hope in your heart. With Mercury also in Cancer until June 26, this is also a good month overall for communication, networking, coming up with new ideas or insights, and feeling heard. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Cancer on June 25, and this is your time to set your intentions for how you want to physically and mentally show up in the world and be seen.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
This month, for you, Leo, is a month of change, closure, and letting the past go. You are doing some reflecting this month as you recognize where new boundaries may be needed in your world, and how to take care of your energy and your heart right now. With a Full Moon in a fellow fire sign mid-June, you are looking at things with a different perspective and feeling the need for a change. You no longer see things the way you used to, and are changing what and who you want in your life overall.
Mercury enters Leo at the end of the month on June 26 until September 1, and with Mercury in your sign for most of the Summer, you are finding your power within communication matters. It's about being completely vulnerable, open, and honest with yourself and others, to bridge that gap to forgiveness this month. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are leaving June feeling the blessings that have come from your inner healing.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
June is all about perspective, Virgo. Your guidance for the month is to focus on where you are growing and not on where things are feeling stagnant for you. The more you can shift your energy when you feel less hopeful about things out of your control, the more you can experience the gifts of the present and the ones coming in for you. With Jupiter moving into your 11th house of friendships, aspirations, community, and dreams for the next year, you are getting real-life examples of the blessings and support available to you in life, and you are more seen and inspiring than you know.
Mars enters Virgo on June 17 until August 9, and with Mars in your sign for most of the summer, life picks up the pace for you at the end of the month. You are going to have a lot of energy to get things done and will be inspired to move forward, overcome, and take charge of your life in a new way over the next few months. You could also be seeing progress in health matters now as well. The New Moon on June 25 will be an opening for you when it comes to community and finding the people who resonate with you on a soul level.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
June is a transformative month for you, and one that changes a lot for you moving forward, Libra. Your guidance for the month is to flow with the winds of change rather than fight them, and to trust that what is leaving your life will be replaced with something better. With Venus in your 8th house this month, there is support there for you if you can ask for it, and you are exploring the depth of your relationships right now.
Love is a strong influence for you in June, but you are also learning to give yourself more of this love right now as well.
On June 11, we have a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and you are getting the answers you have been seeking. This Full Moon is about letting go of perspectives or beliefs that may have been limiting your progress, and about seeking the truth right now. The New Moon in Cancer at the end of the month on June 25 will be a good time to set your intentions for your career world and for what you want to see take place for you this summer.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
June is about taking a break and letting divine timing do its thing, Scorpio. You’ve been working hard to make your dreams come true, but right now it is about taking a moment to pause, in order for your dreams to reach you. You are getting an opportunity to reflect and plan before you make your next move, and this can be a really inspiring month for you, Scorpio. With Jupiter also moving into your 9th house this month for the next year, travel plans are being made, and things are falling through for you in the best way possible, even when you are least expecting it.
The Full Moon on June 11 is a great time for gaining clarity in financial matters, and old projects or intentions revolving around your sense of abundance are coming full circle for you now. Cancer Season officially begins on June 20, and you flow in synergy when the Sun is in a fellow water sign. With a New Moon happening in Cancer on June 25 as well, you are ending this month feeling more adventurous, in tune with your spirit, and excited about what is ahead of you. Trust your path this month, and know that you are making progress.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Your guidance for the month is to back your intentions with your actions, Sagittarius. This month is about putting the work in towards your goals and desires, and about strengthening your skill sets and perspective. You have a lot to get done and take care of this month, but these are things that you once wished to come about for you. With your ruling planet Jupiter changing signs this month as well, you are gaining some renewed support and seeing the gifts that come from committing yourself to something you care about.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on June 11, and is showing you how much you have grown this past year. Your emotions are running high, but you are feeling in tune with your intuitive world and what you feel called to let go of or move towards right now. It’s all about honoring your growth, not selling yourself short, and letting go of the past. With a New Moon in Cancer on June 25, before we end the month, this is a time of dedication, perspective, and choosing to walk on a new path that resonates more with your multifaceted self.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
June is a beautiful coming together for you, Capricorn. There is abundance, support, and growth present in your life, and you are recognizing that you don’t have to do it all alone. You are experiencing some big personal wins in your life and are enjoying sharing this abundant energy with others. With Jupiter entering your 7th house of love for the next year, you are moving into a time of seeing the gifts of connection, and more support and romance are on the way to you right now.
Mars moves into Virgo and your house of adventure this summer, and there are a lot of exciting experiences ahead of you.
These next few months are going to be great for you when it comes to travelling, expanding the mind, and feeling connected spiritually. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love, and this is a good time to set your intentions for how you want to see love unfold for you this summer, and what is truly possible for you here.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
June is all about timing, Aquarius. You have some important decisions to make this month, but you also have to be prepared enough to make them. Let the answers come to you, and trust that they will, knowing that you deserve the clarity you are looking for right now. With Jupiter now in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routine for the next year, you are going to see your everyday life expand and transform for the better, and you are going to see the gifts of taking care of yourself and others, and dedicating yourself to your purpose.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation on June 17, where it will remain for most of the summer, and you are on a journey of finding and owning your power right now. Your life looks a lot different at the end of the summer than it does now, and what is brought to your attention this month is the catalyst for this change. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Cancer, and this is a great time to set your intentions for your work/life balance and where you want to see progress in your everyday life.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
Pisces, June is a fast-paced month for you, and you are moving forward in strides. This month is about taking charge of your life, being you unapologetically, and allowing yourself to shine in your independence. You are feeling creative, inspired, and courageous this month, and there is a lot to do and a lot to look forward to. The most important transit of the month for you is Jupiter's move into Cancer, as the planet of blessings will be expanding your romantic world and love life over the next year. This month, you are getting glimpses of that progress, and your heart is shining.
On June 17, Mars enters Virgo and your 7th house of love for the next few months, and you are motivated by the relationships, abundance, and harmony that are possible for you now. Disagreements or conflicts are also possible, however, with Mars being the planet of war, though, if you can find a middle ground when differences or challenges arise, you can move through this time making real progress in love.
The New Moon on June 25 is another magical moment for the heart, and you are leaving the month feeling more seen, supported, and encouraged than ever.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
RELATED
October 2025 Astrology: An Overview
Mercury enters Scorpio on October 6, and Mercury in Scorpio only knows depth. The conversations being had this month are inspiring, transformative, and a little more blunt than usual. This energy is good for the power of persuasion and for asking for what you want, especially within business and financial matters. On the same day, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this is a powerful Full Moon for reflection, owning your power, and letting go of the insecurities that don’t resonate with what you want for yourself and your future.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into Libra on October 13 after being in Virgo for the past month, and after some time of healing and clarity in love, Libra is here to bring in the romance. Venus loves being in Libra, and this energy creates new beginnings within relationships and provides a little extra magic in this area of life. With Pluto going direct in Aquarius on the same day after being retrograde since May, life and love move forward mid-October, helping provide more stable and nurturing foundations in your personal life and community as well.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Libra on October 21, making it a beautiful time for manifesting romance, balance, and harmony in your world.
This New Moon aligns with the Sun in Libra, and it’s all about letting a new beginning transform your world and the love in your life for the better. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and Neptune retrograde enters Pisces on the same day, bringing in some water sign energy into the mix. As we close out the month, it’s time to renew, honor the transformations occurring, and know that your dreams aren’t as far out of reach as they may seem at times.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what October 2025 has in store for you.
What October 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about perspective, Aries. This is the month to trust the divine timing of your life, and not let the what-ifs overwhelm you. With the Sun in Libra, your sister sign, for most of the month, October is about building connections, finding your balance in love, and knowing that you are worthy of what your heart is seeking right now. We have a Supermoon in your sign on October 6, and emotions are a little heavier this month, but also healing. Give yourself grace, and let go of what isn’t working for you.
Venus is in your house of love from October 13 until November 6, and there is a lot to look forward to when it comes to romance and the relationship dynamics in your life as you move through the month. It’s about being confident in your power of attraction and letting love come to you right now. Before October comes to an end, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love as well, and with all this energy in your relationship zone, life changes for you in love for the better in October.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a spiritual month for you, Taurus. You are thinking a lot about your next steps ahead, and are getting organized, focused, and aligned. The Supermoon on October 6 is a time of reflection for you, and you are entering the month ready to let go of the past, heal, and create space for something new in your life. This month is all about trusting your intuition and letting your wisdom guide you in your personal growth and evolution.
You are more than where you have been, and this month is a reminder of that.
With Mars in Scorpio and in your 7th house of love all month, you are motivated by the partnerships in your life right now. Your love life and relationships are where the action is for you this month, and you are honoring your passion and direction here. Venus, your planetary ruler, moves into your house of health mid-month and into November, and you are leaving October seeking healthier habits, daily routines, and relationships. Overall, this month is helping you align with your vision.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a fresh start for you, Gemini. Your heart is free, love is beaming, and you are feeling larger than life. This month is about taking a leap of faith in yourself, honoring your confidence in life, and being your biggest advocate. With the Sun in your 5th house of self-expression, romance, and happiness, and with Venus entering this same area of your chart mid-October, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and things are looking up for you.
On October 21, we have a New Moon in a fellow air sign, and this is a good time to set your intentions for creative projects, hobbies, romance, and your overall happiness in life. There are a lot of little moments of magic unfolding for you this month, and this New Moon is one of them. Before October comes to an end, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Sagittarius, and this brings open communication into your relationships, and you are having lively conversations and insights.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a transformative month for you, Cancer. You are moving through closure, healing, and depth as you navigate the opportunities that are coming into your life, with the stability you are seeking. With the Sun in your 4th house of home and family in October, this is the month to spend more time in your safe spaces, connect with your loved ones, and get grounded. You are also more focused on your financial world right now, and this is a good time for building new foundations for yourself and looking at the bigger picture when it comes to your career and life goals.
Mars is in your house of romance and happiness for the entire month, and this is one of the highlights of your life right now. You are passionate about your joy and all the things that light you up inside, and you are protecting your peace and giving more of your energy to your pleasure. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Libra, highlighting your home life, and some Cancers may be moving at the end of the month or getting the opportunity to turn a page here. Overall, this is your month to reflect, go within, and make sense of what has been restricting you from feeling stable.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about taking things one day at a time and being patient with what is presenting itself to you, Leo. This month, you are getting your ducks in a row and gaining the clarity needed to create a new beginning in your life. The month begins with a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign on October 6, aligning in harmony with you and fueling your need for adventure. You are going over the wisdom you have gained as of late and how it has shifted the way you navigate your life and see the world around you.
On October 13, Pluto goes direct in your 7th house of love, after being retrograde here since May. This is bringing in more balance, empowerment, and passion into your love life, and this is a positive change of energy for you after a time of some power struggles within your relationships. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and this New Moon is the best time to set intentions for clarity, communication, and connection. October is about taking your time with things and knowing that everything is working out in your favor at the end of the day.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis October is about finding your balance, Virgo. There is a lot of energy when it comes to your finances this month, but you may be overworking or overcommitting yourself in the process. Honor the opportunities and responsibilities in your life, but make sure you are equally taking care of your health and prioritizing your time and energy so that you don’t burn out. Venus, the planet of love, is in your sign until October 13; use this energy to your benefit and let things come to you.
You are a magnet for abundance, romance, and support if you allow yourself to receive it.
On October 13, Venus moves into your 2nd house of income, and your relationships are a supportive place for you to lean on right now. Your love life and partnerships are where your financial world is evolving this month, and this is a good time to ask for what you want; you never know what may happen. At the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde in your sister sign, Pisces, and you are taking a step back and reassessing what love means for you right now. Overall, October is about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone, Virgo.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra Season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive! This Libra Season changes everything for you, and October is when you really begin to feel this shift in your life. The Sun is in your sign until October 22, and it’s time to put yourself first. With a Supermoon in Aries as we begin the month as well, you are letting go of any unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics that take you away from yourself, and are moving into deeper clarity.
On October 13, Venus, your planetary ruler, enters your sign, where it loves to be the most. With Venus in your sign for the rest of the month, love takes on a new tone, and you are feeling more love for yourself and where life is taking you right now. To end the month, we have a New Moon in Libra, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want life to grow for you over the next year. This is a month of embarking on a new journey of self, and allowing what is inspiring you right now to build your confidence in yourself and your relationships.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about honoring your freedom and your power to decide, Scorpio. A lot is going on for you this month, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your sign at the beginning of the month on October 6, and this is going to help you get your ideas across, making it a good month for business matters, networking, and getting inspired. With Mars also in your sign for the entire month, life moves forward for you in transformative ways in October, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
On October 13, Venus moves into your house of closure, healing, and endings, and you are ready to close one chapter of love and create space for a new one. You are in a contemplative space when it comes to matters of the heart, and you are ready to let go of any heaviness you have been feeling here. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and you are ready to begin again. This Scorpio Season is about owning your confidence in life while letting go of insecurities or self-doubts that have been getting in the way of that.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything unfolds for you in a beautiful way this month, Sagittarius. You are flowing well with the energy of October, and life opens up to you. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations, dreams, manifestations, and community, you are feeling in balance with your desires and your reality, and are bridging the gap here. This is a month of friendship, believing in your dreams, and creating space for love. With Juno also entering your sign at the beginning of the month until the end of the year, you are attracting soulmates into your life.
On October 6, we have a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign, allowing you some closure in love and a chance at healing. Your heart is feeling renewed, and you are owning your power in creating happiness in your life. Before the month ends, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, where it will be until mid-November, and inspiration is heightened. Pay attention to the guidance you are receiving this month, the conversations you are having, and the light bulb moments that are going off for you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about going within and connecting with the guidance of your soul, Capricorn. You are taking more time for yourself this month, and rightly so, as you need time to fully process what has happened so far this year. Pluto goes direct in your 2nd house of income, and this moves things forward when it comes to your earning potential, abundance, and values.
The key this month is in valuing yourself, your perspective, and what you are building in your life right now.
On October 21, we have a New Moon happening in your career zone, and this is a good time to manifest your goals within your professional world. Put yourself out there, show up, and know that you are worthy of success and that your dreams aren’t too big for you. As we close out the month, Mercury moves into your house of closure, even further facilitating your desire for contemplation and alone time this month. Overall, October is about taking care of your mental health, owning your successes, and finding your peace.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you in love and in life, Aquarius. Your heart is feeling inspired, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. The Supermoon at the beginning of the month will be occurring in your 3rd house of communication, giving you the answers you have been looking for and helping you close the door on a chapter in your life that left you feeling misunderstood or misdirected. You are ready for a change of pace this month, and you are receiving that as we begin October.
Mid-October, Pluto goes direct in your sign after being retrograde since May, and this is a huge breath of fresh air for you and your path ahead. You may have been a little harder on yourself while Pluto was retrograde this year, and now you feel ready to forgive, move on, and own your power. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and you are embarking on a new adventure. The end of the month is a good time for traveling, exploring, and gaining a new perspective.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is giving you the guidance, perspective, and passion to see yourself with clear, loving eyes, Pisces. There is a sense of feeling more overwhelmed with life lately, and October is allowing you to gain the insight needed to move on from this energy, or at least see more of the gifts of what has occurred. On October 6, we have a Supermoon in an area of your chart having to do with self-worth, values, and income, and it’s time to see the gifts of what you have been investing in and valuing in your life, including yourself.
Let go of the need to play it small or count yourself out of important conversations, and know that you deserve a seat at the table.
With Pluto going direct in your 12th house of healing as we end the month, you are finally getting the answers you have been looking for emotionally, and it’s changing your perspective on your commitments in life and making you feel empowered. Before the month ends, Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces, and you are going to be moving through a personal revolution as we close out the year. You are inspired by change right now, and this month is what kicks starts this metamorphosis within you.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
In a way, it makes me think of a quote by one of my favorite poets, Rumi: “Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” Lamps shed light. Lifeboats save lives (and/or transition people from one spot to another). Ladders help to lift people up. And y’all, if it’s not our life’s mission to want to do one or more of these things for at least one individual on a daily basis — what the heck are we doing out here? Truly.
And yet, spend just one hour on social media and you will see more folks yapping about how to get something out of someone than to “be a shepherd” to someone else — and when all a person wants to do is take…how absolutely draining is that?
So yeah, let’s take a moment to more thoroughly explore the concept of what a human “charger” vs. a “drainer” is — not just as a gut check to make sure that you are where you should be when it comes to how you prioritize your interactions with others but also to confirm whether or not you are surrounding yourself with — pardon the pun — positive charges or…negative ones.
Energy Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyIt really is purely fascinating, the things that you can discover, if you choose to intentionally look for information. Take something that I recently learned: Did you know there are certain types of transmitters that, when they are placed on top of human skin, they send a frequency of 40 MHz into a person’s system? As a result, their body becomes conductors of energy that can actually be transferred to other devices (so long as they have the kind of receiver that can process human energy in this way).
My greatest takeaway from this? Human energy is a very real thing. Not only does it provide us with the ability and power to do various things, it’s also what can be exchanged between two individuals. In fact, many mental health experts believe that it is more than possible for people to exchange energy via things like their attraction to one either, sharing thoughts and emotions and even through one another’s body language.
And since that is indeed the case, this is just one more reason why I will forever stand 10 toes down that sex shouldn’t be handled flippantly or dismissively — because if someone has a body part of theirs inside of yours…how much energy is being exchanged from that? Geeze. And so, since you need energy in order to literally function (and to be mentally and emotionally functional) — let’s look at how a human battery charger moves and then how a human battery drainer does as well.
Ready?
5 Signs That You “Fuel” People
GiphyFuel your fueler. It’s something that I am known for saying to some of my clients whenever someone in the relationship feels like the other isn’t meeting their needs. Basically, what it means is, if an individual is giving you some of what you need in order to function and even thrive, why wouldn’t you want that same type of energy to be reciprocated to them in return? Fueling your fueler helps to equip them to keep providing what you need from them. Simple math.
And here are five ways you can do it:
1. Bring positive insights and/or wisdom. One of my favorite quotes is always going to be by the writer Jorge Luis Borges. He once said, “Don’t speak unless you can improve upon the silence” — and that is a solid gold resolve to have. In a world that is filled with so much…noise, a fueler/battery charger is someone who radiates positivity and/or offers up insights that help you to see things from another perspective and/or gives you the kind of wisdom that challenges you to grow. How often do people say that you do at least one of these things for them?
2. Create more calm than chaos. Confusion is chaos — by definition. You know some of the things that cause confusion? Unclear communication. Passive aggressiveness. Inconsistency. Gossip. Being unnecessarily dramatic. And all of this is just for starters. Meanwhile, a calm individual? They bring peace and tranquility with their words and even simply their presence — and a big cause of this is that they are at peace within themselves. This is why I think it’s a red flag whenever someone is triggered by hearing “Be my peace.”
It is actually HIGH PRAISE when someone can say that when you come around, they feel relaxed instead of…stressed out. Not wanting peace to be associated with your name? Problematic, my dear.
3. You allow “Shalom” to define you. I say often that Hebrew culture is totally my thing — and this includes the Hebrew language. And although most people know that shalom means peace, the word is far more vast than that. Shalom also means to be whole and complete. It’s also a word that speaks to things like health and prosperity. Keeping this in mind, if you are someone who “charges instead of drains,” this means that when you come to mind to other individuals, they think of how much of a blessing that you are in their lives — and you know this because they tell you so. You have a spirit of “shalom” on you and it doesn’t get much better than that.
4. You choose to be a spiritual light. Oh, please believe that when it comes to this one, I am not speaking of church folks — some of them can be the most draining (and I wrote an entire book about it!). At the end of the day, being spiritual is about knowing that there is something out here that is bigger than you (which means you act like you know that life isn’t all about you).
Being spiritual is about fulfilling purpose. Being spiritual is about focusing on the immaterial rather than the material. And when you are a fueler and charger, you do this by motivating others to become more spiritual too.
For me, I have a friend who calls me her “idea doula” and I adore everything about that. She is saying that I help her to come up with ways to grow her business and brand and that ultimately helps her to manifest her own purpose. When it comes to what people can say about what you bring into their world…how do you spiritually benefit them?
5. You are also a muse or inspiration. Pretty much, a muse is a source of inspiration for a creative (check out “10 Habits Of Successful Creatives”) and when you inspire someone, it means that you produce or arouse something within them. It could be to try something new. It could be to finish something they started. It could be to look at a person, place, thing or idea from a different perspective. Or it could be that you inspire them to be a better version of themselves — and it might just be simply by them watching how you move. Remember that a battery charge provides power. When you are around others, what do your words and actions empower them to do — and are those things for the better?
5 Signs That You Actually Wear People Out
GiphyOkay, so it would appear that singer-songwriter Peter Hammill once said that a violinist friend by the name of Graham Smith came up with the term “energy vampire” back in the 70s. Apparently it was in reference to some of Hammill’s over the top fans (the more you know). These days, energy vampires are quite simply individuals who are draining to be around because they require so much of your mental and emotional energy whenever they are in your space.
And what are five ways that these types of people can wear you all the way out?
1. They take more than they give. I’ve been known to say it often: “Where there is no reciprocity, someone is out here being a liability.” Listen, when you’re in a relationship with a person, because you both are individuals, you may not (always) need the same things (especially at the same time) and/or your requirements and expectations may be different. That’s fine. However, don’t find yourself out here being the only one who is proactive and intentional — because if you are important to someone, they should want to give and not just take. Drainers don’t care about this. Chargers absolutely do.
2. They speak in monologues more than dialogues. Something else that I have told clients before is that a lot of people don’t want a PARTNER; they want an AUDIENCE. What I mean by that is, they just want someone to give them attention, to be engrossed in what they have to say, to put them on some sort of pedestal. That’s why they don’t know how to clap for others, they suck at listening, and they may even seem more envious than excited when others win. Back in the day, I used to have relationships where I barely couldn’t get a word in edgewise; it’s because all they really wanted to do, consistently so, is wax poetic in the forms of endless streams of consciousness. LOL.
Sometimes folks need an ear to get things off of their chest; understood — yet if that is ALL that someone is doing…they aren’t wanting to connect with you…they just want some attention from you.
3. Their problems/issues are redundant and cyclic. One of my favorite people on the planet is the poster child for this point. She dates the same kinds of men, she never listens to the 50-11 folks who tell her that they are the same kind of men and then — surprise, surprise — things end up the same way…over and over…and over with these same kinds of men. We’re talking decades’ worth of this nonsense too. And as much as I love her, over the past couple of years, we’ve had to have some hard conversations about how it can be challenging dealing with her sometimes because she stays in the hamster wheel of bullshishery.
Listen, that “we listen and don’t judge” nonsense that was all over the internet several months back (or was that last year? Time is moving weird right through here)? That is some of the dumbest ish that I’ve ever heard! Discernment literally means “acute judgment” and, as my mom used to say, “Discernment prevents experience from being your teacher.” Use discernment when deciding how deeply you should get involved with people’s stuff. Also, use discernment to decide when it’s time to shift your energy. Before they drain it all.
4. They compete instead of congratulate. I don’t know about y’all but, over the course of my life, I’ve had some real doozies of narcissists in my world — and one way that they tend to show up is low-key competing with me whenever I accomplish certain things instead of rather than just sitting back and congratulating my efforts. I’ve had people look at me crazy about becoming a doula and life coach — only to become one later. When my first book came out, someone literally said, OUT LOUD, “If you can do it, I know I can then.” DRAIN.ING.
A part of the reason why science says that GOOD FRIENDSHIPS keep us healthy is because support and encouragement help to keep our stress and anxiety levels down. Competing is (typically) stressful. Being celebrated isn’t. ‘Nuf said.
5. They are full of negativity. Constantly complaining. Always looking at things through a dark/negative lens. Never seeming to be in a good mood (or expecting you to get them out of their moods). Acting apathetic instead of/more than empathetic. Being hypercritical. Playing the victim. These are just some examples of what it means to be a negative type of person. The reason why research says that these kinds of folks can drain us is, since we already are prone to act on our natural negativity bias, whenever we’re surrounded with someone who is already caught up in theirs…that energy can be quite contagious.
And since negativity is bad for your cognitive function, immune system, emotional stability and so much more — the less negativity, the better. Yep, spend as little time with this kind of “drainer” as you possibly can.
Giphy____
Like I said earlier, our batteries are basically our energy — and when it comes to wise words on energy:
“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.” (T. Harv Eker)
“Energy speaks what you don’t.” (Drishti Bablani)
“When the energy in the room doesn't feel right, probably, it's not right. But sometimes it's also because of you.” (Mitta Xinindlu)
And when it comes to that last quote, specifically — umm, well, …see how I presented the chargers part of the article with a “you” and the drainers with a “they”? LOL. Yeah, that was so you would take the medicine down easier — oh, but definitely take in ALL of this piece, just to make sure that you don’t only have “wear me outs” in your world but that others aren’t actually thinking or saying this about you too.
Being a battery charger or a battery drainer. At least once a week, this is something that we should self-evaluate because energy is precious — and so is what we choose to do with it.
You can fuel or wear people out, y’all.
Please, for the sake of your energy levels as well as theirs…choose wisely.
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