June is a month of overcoming challenges, clarity, new relationship developments, and being more flexible with life. Gemini Season is underway, and when the Sun is in Gemini, we understand the depths of communication. This is a good month for connection, networking, and finding more common ground with others, and there is power in working together right now.
Venus enters Taurus on June 6 until July 4, and Venus loves being in Taurus, making love and relationship matters especially prominent this month. Venus in Taurus creates a foundation for love and romance, and it’s about planting your seeds in love, creating space for more love to enter, and nourishing what is working for your relationships right now.
Mercury enters Cancer a few days later from June 8 until June 26, and this will be bringing another focus into where your heart stands right now, and the importance of communicating that and spending more time focused on your emotional and intuitive world.
June 2025 Horoscope Overview: A Month of Clarity, Connection & Change
We have a big transit this month, and that is Jupiter's move from Gemini into Cancer on June 9. Jupiter changes signs once a year, and these more lengthy transits in the stars hold a lot of impact. With Jupiter being the benevolent planet of blessings, expansion, spirituality, wisdom, and good fortune, Cancer placements, water signs, and cardinal signs will feel the blessings of this transit a little more strongly.
With Jupiter now in Cancer until June 30, 2026, expansion is available within you, in your home space, your emotional world, and within the things that really matter to you deep down. Jupiter in Cancer brings Mother energy, and there are opportunities for feeling supported, nourished, and safe in this transit.
The Full Moon for the month is on June 11, and is a Strawberry Moon in Sagittarius. This Full Moon is eye-opening, and emotions will be worn on their sleeve. Mid-June is all about letting go of what doesn’t inspire or support your vision for your future, and having more fun with the way life is playing out for you. Mars enters Virgo on June 17 until August 6, making this a summer of getting organized, taking care of your priorities and health, healing, having more energy to do it all, and feeling inspired to create space for a new beginning.
Cancer Season officially begins on June 20, and a few days later, we have a New Moon in Cancer on June 25. This New Moon further amplifies the emotional journey this month is taking us on, and there is a new door opening here. This Cancer New Moon is about setting your intentions from your heart, spending more time with the people who make you feel loved, and about healing in the home.
Overall, June is a month where a lot is being presented, and there are some things to work through with others, but the more you can grasp what both your heart and your head are telling you, the more you can navigate this time with divine trust, power, and timing.
Read for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what June has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
June is a month of gathering your strength and remembering that you are worth everything you are working towards right now, Aries. This month is about picking your head up and seeing yourself the way you want others to. It’s about giving yourself the same time and care that you have been giving to other priorities, and remembering your power this month.
With the Sun in your 11th house for most of June, you are being asked to look at your dreams and inspirations as signs from the universe.
The Full Moon on June 11th is a reflection of everything you have experienced this year, and where your heart stands now. You are letting go of old versions of happiness that don’t resonate with you anymore and reclaiming your inner confidence. Jupiter forms a Square to Saturn in Aries on June 15, and it can feel like forces are working against your progress at times this month. Know that redirection is protection, and you are being asked to trust the timing of it all a little more right now.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
June is a month of victory, Taurus. You are making some major accomplishments this month, and feeling supported in doing so. This is a month of upliftment, owning your dynamic nature, and creating a new beginning in your life through accepting the gifts and blessings that are coming your way right now. With Venus in your sign for most of the month, there is love surrounding you in June, and you are looking around in gratitude.
Mars moves into Virgo and your house of romance, creativity, hobbies, happiness, and pleasure this summer, and there are a lot of exciting and heartfelt experiences ahead of you. These next few months are going to be great for you when it comes to love, self-expression, and feeling the joy of your world. On June 25, we have one of the best New Moons of the year for you to manifest by writing down your intentions or speaking them into existence. At the end of the month, it’s all about focusing on your dreams and aspirations, and knowing that you have the power to bring them to reality.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
June is a powerful month for you, and it’s your time to shine, Gemini. Gemini Season is fully underway, and good karma is coming your way right now. This is your time to find your balance, feel empowered by what has been and what is now, and to trust where the universe is guiding you. Jupiter moves out of your sign on June 5 after expanding your world for the past year, and this is helping you take a deep breath and feel a little less pressure on your shoulders.
On June 11, we have a Full Moon in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are letting go of relationship dynamics or experiences that don’t serve you, and are focused more on where the support is growing in your life. This Full Moon can also highlight your financial world, and you are gaining clarity on how to feel more abundant or supported here.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
June is a beautiful month for you, Cancer. You are feeling in tune with your heart’s desires, and are being met with magic. This is a month of honoring the connections and support in your life, feeling the strength of love, and experiencing more romance and joy in your world. Jupiter enters your sign on June 5, and with the planet of blessings in your sign for the next year, you are going to be experiencing the gifts of a new beginning and are exuding main character energy this month.
Cancer Season officially begins on June 20, and you are entering this year’s Cancer Season on a high note.
You are empowered by where life and love are for you right now, and there is a strong sense of hope in your heart. With Mercury also in Cancer until June 26, this is also a good month overall for communication, networking, coming up with new ideas or insights, and feeling heard. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Cancer on June 25, and this is your time to set your intentions for how you want to physically and mentally show up in the world and be seen.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
This month, for you, Leo, is a month of change, closure, and letting the past go. You are doing some reflecting this month as you recognize where new boundaries may be needed in your world, and how to take care of your energy and your heart right now. With a Full Moon in a fellow fire sign mid-June, you are looking at things with a different perspective and feeling the need for a change. You no longer see things the way you used to, and are changing what and who you want in your life overall.
Mercury enters Leo at the end of the month on June 26 until September 1, and with Mercury in your sign for most of the Summer, you are finding your power within communication matters. It's about being completely vulnerable, open, and honest with yourself and others, to bridge that gap to forgiveness this month. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are leaving June feeling the blessings that have come from your inner healing.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
June is all about perspective, Virgo. Your guidance for the month is to focus on where you are growing and not on where things are feeling stagnant for you. The more you can shift your energy when you feel less hopeful about things out of your control, the more you can experience the gifts of the present and the ones coming in for you. With Jupiter moving into your 11th house of friendships, aspirations, community, and dreams for the next year, you are getting real-life examples of the blessings and support available to you in life, and you are more seen and inspiring than you know.
Mars enters Virgo on June 17 until August 9, and with Mars in your sign for most of the summer, life picks up the pace for you at the end of the month. You are going to have a lot of energy to get things done and will be inspired to move forward, overcome, and take charge of your life in a new way over the next few months. You could also be seeing progress in health matters now as well. The New Moon on June 25 will be an opening for you when it comes to community and finding the people who resonate with you on a soul level.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
June is a transformative month for you, and one that changes a lot for you moving forward, Libra. Your guidance for the month is to flow with the winds of change rather than fight them, and to trust that what is leaving your life will be replaced with something better. With Venus in your 8th house this month, there is support there for you if you can ask for it, and you are exploring the depth of your relationships right now.
Love is a strong influence for you in June, but you are also learning to give yourself more of this love right now as well.
On June 11, we have a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and you are getting the answers you have been seeking. This Full Moon is about letting go of perspectives or beliefs that may have been limiting your progress, and about seeking the truth right now. The New Moon in Cancer at the end of the month on June 25 will be a good time to set your intentions for your career world and for what you want to see take place for you this summer.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
June is about taking a break and letting divine timing do its thing, Scorpio. You’ve been working hard to make your dreams come true, but right now it is about taking a moment to pause, in order for your dreams to reach you. You are getting an opportunity to reflect and plan before you make your next move, and this can be a really inspiring month for you, Scorpio. With Jupiter also moving into your 9th house this month for the next year, travel plans are being made, and things are falling through for you in the best way possible, even when you are least expecting it.
The Full Moon on June 11 is a great time for gaining clarity in financial matters, and old projects or intentions revolving around your sense of abundance are coming full circle for you now. Cancer Season officially begins on June 20, and you flow in synergy when the Sun is in a fellow water sign. With a New Moon happening in Cancer on June 25 as well, you are ending this month feeling more adventurous, in tune with your spirit, and excited about what is ahead of you. Trust your path this month, and know that you are making progress.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Your guidance for the month is to back your intentions with your actions, Sagittarius. This month is about putting the work in towards your goals and desires, and about strengthening your skill sets and perspective. You have a lot to get done and take care of this month, but these are things that you once wished to come about for you. With your ruling planet Jupiter changing signs this month as well, you are gaining some renewed support and seeing the gifts that come from committing yourself to something you care about.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on June 11, and is showing you how much you have grown this past year. Your emotions are running high, but you are feeling in tune with your intuitive world and what you feel called to let go of or move towards right now. It’s all about honoring your growth, not selling yourself short, and letting go of the past. With a New Moon in Cancer on June 25, before we end the month, this is a time of dedication, perspective, and choosing to walk on a new path that resonates more with your multifaceted self.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
June is a beautiful coming together for you, Capricorn. There is abundance, support, and growth present in your life, and you are recognizing that you don’t have to do it all alone. You are experiencing some big personal wins in your life and are enjoying sharing this abundant energy with others. With Jupiter entering your 7th house of love for the next year, you are moving into a time of seeing the gifts of connection, and more support and romance are on the way to you right now.
Mars moves into Virgo and your house of adventure this summer, and there are a lot of exciting experiences ahead of you.
These next few months are going to be great for you when it comes to travelling, expanding the mind, and feeling connected spiritually. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love, and this is a good time to set your intentions for how you want to see love unfold for you this summer, and what is truly possible for you here.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
June is all about timing, Aquarius. You have some important decisions to make this month, but you also have to be prepared enough to make them. Let the answers come to you, and trust that they will, knowing that you deserve the clarity you are looking for right now. With Jupiter now in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routine for the next year, you are going to see your everyday life expand and transform for the better, and you are going to see the gifts of taking care of yourself and others, and dedicating yourself to your purpose.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation on June 17, where it will remain for most of the summer, and you are on a journey of finding and owning your power right now. Your life looks a lot different at the end of the summer than it does now, and what is brought to your attention this month is the catalyst for this change. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Cancer, and this is a great time to set your intentions for your work/life balance and where you want to see progress in your everyday life.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
Pisces, June is a fast-paced month for you, and you are moving forward in strides. This month is about taking charge of your life, being you unapologetically, and allowing yourself to shine in your independence. You are feeling creative, inspired, and courageous this month, and there is a lot to do and a lot to look forward to. The most important transit of the month for you is Jupiter's move into Cancer, as the planet of blessings will be expanding your romantic world and love life over the next year. This month, you are getting glimpses of that progress, and your heart is shining.
On June 17, Mars enters Virgo and your 7th house of love for the next few months, and you are motivated by the relationships, abundance, and harmony that are possible for you now. Disagreements or conflicts are also possible, however, with Mars being the planet of war, though, if you can find a middle ground when differences or challenges arise, you can move through this time making real progress in love.
The New Moon on June 25 is another magical moment for the heart, and you are leaving the month feeling more seen, supported, and encouraged than ever.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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This collection features a medley of oils: Glo Up! Turmeric, Vitamin C + Aloe Daily Skin & Scalp Oil, Gro Up! Rosemary, Mint + Biotin Daily Skin & Scalp Oil, and Thick'N Up! Multi-Vitamins, Sea Moss & Amla Daily Skin & Scalp Oil. I had the opportunity to try these oils on my hair and skin, and this was my experience.
Courtesy
Glo Up! Turmeric, Vitamin C + Aloe Daily Skin & Scalp Oil
This oil came right on time as I was in the process of getting rid of dark spots that appeared on my legs following the mosquito bites I received on a trip. With ingredients like turmeric and vitamin c that are known to brighten the skin, I was hopeful that this oil will help fade the spots. After using it daily for a few weeks, I noticed a slight difference. So I plan to continue using it as part of my daily routine.
Gro Up! Rosemary, Mint + Biotin Daily Skin & Scalp Oil
Courtesy
Rosemary is one of my favorite herbs to use in my hair care. I make my own rosemary water, I use a rosemary and rice water conditioner, and I love using rosemary oil. So when I received Hollywood Beauty's Rosemary, Mint + Biotin oil, I was excited to try it.
After one use, I knew that this will become a go-to oil for my hair. I like to apply the oil on my ends and brush it throughout my hair for a luxurious feel. The mint makes my scalp tingle and with the addition of biotin, I know my hair is getting stronger.
Thick'N Up! Multi-Vitamins, Sea Moss & Amla Daily Skin & Scalp Oil
Sea moss has become popular over the years due to its rich nutrients and mineral content. So my experience with sea moss has always been through ingestion. I never thought about using it in my hair and body care, until now. Thanks to Thick'N Up! Multi-Vitamins, Sea Moss & Amla Daily Skin & Scalp Oil, I was up for the challenge.
This oil was made to help thicken your hair and condition the scalp. Amla is also another popular ingredient that is used in the oil to fight dandruff and promote hair growth. I've been on my hair growth journey, so this oil is a must-have.
Featured image courtesy
The reason why I thought they were a great way to start off this piece is because, although they’ve been together (including living together) for about five years (I believe) and Cey has mentioned getting a lot of social media pressure to propose to Jai, he said that he would move forward when he was ready which happened to be on Jai’s 25th birthday this year — and then, four months later, they eloped. Hmph. What seemed to take forever (to viewers, anyway), it ended up moving swiftly…when Cey was ready to move. And in the meantime, they both resolved to live in the moment and prepare in the meantime. Hmph. In January, they were boyfriend and girlfriend. By December, they became husband and wife. Good stuff.
The tie-in? You know, if there is one thing that I oftentimes encourage my coupled-up clients to do right around this time of the year, it's to have a conversation with their partner about whether or not they think their relationship is stagnant in some way. Synonyms for stagnant include idle, inactive, dormant, sluggish, and stale. The reason why it’s important to ponder over this is because, oftentimes, when relationships end, it’s not because people don’t care for one another anymore; hell, it’s not even that something “big” or “drastic” happened.
Oftentimes, it’s because they allowed their relationship to not develop, advance, progress — and when things aren’t moving forward, things tend to slip backwards or remain stuck…and nothing healthy can come from either of those outcomes.
A musician by the name of Matt Bellamy once said, “You have to evolve. Stagnation breeds boredom,” — and y’all, believe it or not, boredom is another big cause of break-ups. Keeping all of this in mind, I would hate for your relationship to “fade to black” in the upcoming year, simply because stagnation took over.
And so, in the few moments that are left in 2025, ask your partner the following questions. They may provide the clarity you need to know how to keep your relationship strong (or to get it back on track) over the next several months.
Are We in a Different Place than Where We Were Last Year?
GiphyBack to Cey and Jai for a second. Again, even though commenters were pretty close to being relentless when it came to wondering when Cey was going to pop the question, if you kept up with their content, even though Cey hadn’t proposed yet, one thing that you couldn’t say is that they were in the same place, relationally, year after year. For one thing, they stayed moving about (literally), and they oftentimes expressed goals that they wanted to reach, both as individuals and as a couple.
My point? If the ultimate goal between you and your partner is marriage, and that hasn’t happened yet, there is no way that 365 days have passed, and you shouldn’t be able to say that you’ve seen some relational growth, change, and progress over that period of time.
Are the two of you better at communicating? Has the intimacy between the two of you gotten stronger? Are you both better forgivers? Are you closer friends? Do you know more about one another’s wants and needs?
A stagnant relationship is one that, by definition, lacks development. If you can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you and your partner are better and stronger now than you were this time last year, pat yourself on the back — that is a really good sign that you two are in a really great place.
Do We Both Still Want the Same Things?
GiphyOne of the best things about a healthy relationship is that it helps you to tame your ego. I say that because if you are serious about making your relationship work and last, it’s going to require compromise, sacrifice, and humility. That’s why it irks me to no end when a relationship ends, and if a person in it is asked why, they will say something along the lines of the other individual didn’t love them simply because they didn’t want what they did.
This is a great example of someone’s ego showing up because the reality is that a person can absolutely love you and even want to be with you, and still not be on the same page about what you want. This is actually a part of the reason why it’s a good idea to do some thorough vetting during the beginning stages of dating (check out “The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have” and “The 'Pre-Sex Interview' To See If You're Both In Sync.”).
Anyway, the only way to know if someone wants what you do is to ask. And if you think that is silly after being with someone for a while, well, I’ll share with you a marriage quote that I oftentimes reference in sessions: “You don't marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being.” (Richard J. Needham)
People change all of the time, so if you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you absolutely owe it to yourself, your partner, and the relationship overall to “check in” to make sure that you both ultimately want the same things from your dynamic. Never assume. Assumptions typically backfire — one way or another.
Is There Any Area Where You Think We Are Wasting Time?
I have always liked this particular definition of waste: “to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return,” and when it comes to this particular article, please remember that if you are pouring into something and not getting much of a return…that is the textbook definition of wasting time, effort, and energy.
So yes, it definitely works in your and your partner’s favor to ponder if the two of you are wasting time in an area. One way to figure this out is to look through the lens of INVESTING vs. SPENDING. Whatever you all are doing, is it an investment where you are seeing a payoff, or are you just spending and not really getting much in return?
I’ll say this — if there is more fighting than peace; if you don’t have the same values; if one or both of you are acting like you are satisfied as far as intimacy goes when you really aren’t; if when you hang out, there feels like a disconnection is there; if one or both of you are walking on eggshells in order to get along, and/or spending time with each other isn’t one of your all-time favorite things to do…all of this are indications of wasting time because, again, you’re giving but…what are you really getting?
Do We Complement Where We Are Heading As Individuals?
GiphyWhen God decided (because it was him; not Adam) that it was time for Adam to have a companion, the Classic Amplified Version of Scripture states that the Lord said this: “Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.” (Genesis 2:18 — AMPC) Hmph, don’t get me started on how much nonsense I see on social media that causes me to wonder if people actually believe this. For now, I’ll just say that it’s important to peep what this verse says a good helpmate looks like: she is suitable, adaptable (that’s a good one), and complementary to her man.
Complementary is a great word. So much, in fact, that several years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life.” When you complement someone, you help to complete them. This is why I wish people would really embrace how masculinity and femininity are designed to BALANCE (i.e., complement) one another. And even beyond that, when it comes to your relationship specifically, where do you and your partner complete each other? Not in the rom-com way so much as where do they “balance you out”?
A married couple who I work with, one of the things that I’m trying to get them to chill out about is embracing that their differences actually can work in their favor if they simply stopped trying to turn each other into carbon copies of themselves (another way that ego manifests, by the way). An example of what I mean is the husband is very chill and cautious in how he moves while the wife is spontaneous and likes to take all kinds of risks. If they embraced the way this could COMPLEMENT both of them as individuals, she wouldn’t be so emotionally high-strung and unnecessarily stressed, and he wouldn’t overthink his way out of potentially great opportunities.
Another favorite quote of mine is “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (Larry Dixon) Although you and your partner shouldn’t be so different that you’re constantly clashing and butting heads, it’s okay to bring different things out of each other by how you complement one another. Spend some time talking about if/how you do. It can reveal quite a bit.
What Would You Like to Accomplish, Relationally, Next Year?
GiphyRemember how I touched on the fact that boredom can lead to the demise of a relationship? As I close this out, another way to avoid stagnation in your relationship is to create plans for it.
In 2026, where do you want to travel? What new things do you want to try/attempt together? What are the strengths that you want to celebrate and the weaknesses that you want to work on? How do you want to progress spiritually? What needs still need to be met? What wants do you wish to prioritize? What habits do you want to break? What boundaries need to be set? What do you both want to get better at as far as communication goes? What can you do to become better friends, confidants, and lovers?
It’s kind of wild that, although most of us know the quote, “Fail to plan, plan to fail,” many of us literally FAIL at applying it to our relationship. Yet there is data all over the place that supports that if you want to succeed at something, planning is one of the most effective ways to do it.
Just ask Cey and Jai. #wink
Salute to them and Happy New Year to you and your man.
Here’s to plenty of progress…with barely any stagnation, chile.
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