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5 Ways To Reach Multiple Orgasms Alone
Although having an orgasm is not the end all be all when it comes to great sex, it doesn't stop us from desiring to have them, whether alone or with a partner. One trip to the land of the Big O is awesome. Two.. three trips? That sounds too good to be true. But, orgasms of this kind are not just some mythical folklore. In fact, having multiple orgasms is very possible, and you can do it too.
Generally, multiple orgasms refer to a pleasure-seeker climaxing more than once in a single session. They are more common in vulva owners—15% of people with a vagina consistently experience multiple orgasms. Not everyone with a vulva experiences this, though, even though most have the capacity to do so. And how about penis-having folks? They could, but not so “ejaculatory.” More like dry orgasms from prostate or nipple stimulation.
After all, there are different types of orgasms up for grabs. Studies show that women are quicker to climax and much prefer to do it alone. Fourteen out of 15 vulva owners orgasm from masturbation before sex, according to the same report above. Plus, 25.2% of female pleasure-seekers who masturbated solo took 2-3 minutes to climax. It’s easy to see why. You know your body best. And without pressure to “perform” or “give” to a partner, you can focus on your pleasure and the sensations.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t orgasm during partnered play. Being with your partner could make things hotter, helping you orgasm more.
As a disclaimer, there is no step-by-step process as each body is different. Therefore, what feels good to one person might not feel good to you. So take these tips as a roadmap that you can adjust to your preferences.
5 Ways to Reach Multiple Orgasms Alone
1. Tone your pelvic floor muscle
Strong pelvic floor muscles = stronger orgasms.
You need to do a bit of groundwork for mind-blowing orgasms. It’s not just all about sex. Like most things in life, you need to sow and do some work before you can harvest rewards. In this case, your seeds are Kegel exercises.
How to do Kegel exercises:
- Find the most comfortable position for you. For example, you can sit comfortably or lie on your back.
- Engage your pelvic muscles by squeezing them 10 to 15 times: clench, then release.
- Hold the “clench” for 2 seconds before releasing it.
- If you’re unsure, the feeling is similar to holding your pee.
- Slowly increase the intensity or repetitions over time. Walk before you run.
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2. Relax and take a break in between
A refractory period is a time your body recovers after an orgasm. So there is really a “break time” because, uh, biology. That said, some vulva owners can orgasm one after the other with no refractory period. But for most of us, a little breather is necessary. Literally.
Don’t forget to breathe. Not breathing could impact the likelihood of climaxing for the second or third time. That little break should give your body enough time to reset while not stopping the arousal. You can stimulate other erogenous zones of your body, switch positions or maybe take a sip of a glass of water.
3. Try a different kind of stimulation
An orgasm could make your clitoris extra sensitive. During these times, some can’t bear their pleasure button to be touched. This is the perfect opportunity to experiment and switch stimulation. Play with your breasts, nipples, inner thighs, perineum, etc.—the sky's the limit, and it’s totally up to you.
Sensation play might also be something you’d want to explore to add spice to the session. Trying something new always makes solo sessions more fun. If your clitoris is not too sensitive and clitoral stimulation is what gets you off, you can apply different techniques as well.
Some examples are:
- Rubbing - Slide your fingers up and down or back and forth across the clit or clitoral hood.
- Tapping - Tap the clit and hood as fast (or slow) as you like.
- Circling - Draw circles around the clit and hood, including the labia along the way.
- Pinching - Pinch your clitoral hood in between your first two fingers and gently tug it up and down.
- Grinding - Grind your pelvis on something—your pillow, the sheets… and so on.
4. Concentrate on your breathing
Breathwork is key to multiple orgasms (and orgasms in general). It clears your mind so that you can stay in the moment. Your body is super connected to your mind. When you’re stressed, it could impact your ability to orgasm. So breathe slowly and deeply as you orgasm.
As your body nears climax and your arousal levels peak, your body will naturally incline to switch to short, huffy breaths. Fight that urge. Continue breathing slowly. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth (like when meditating). This breathing technique is a great way to enhance the sensation.
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5. Bring out the toys
Adding a sex toy or two elevates the sexploration, making the entire experience more pleasurable for you during solo play (plus with your partner during sex). Almost half of the female participants from a study were revealed to be multi-orgasmic when they use sex toys to aid their sexual activities. So, why not?
These sex toys could help vulva owners achieve multiple orgasms:
- Doxy Die Cast - A wand massager that packs a lot of power and sends deep, rumbly vibrations to your clit and various erogenous zones.
- Lelo Soraya Wave - A top-shelf rabbit vibrator that provides both clitoral and internal stimulation. The insertable arm is powered by their patented WaveMotion tech that feels like you’re being expertly fingered… by a vibrator.
- Lovense Lush 3- A wearable egg vibrator perfect for public and long-distance partnered play. Of course, you can also enjoy it solo by connecting it to your smartphone to enjoy customizing vibration patterns, music syncing, and sound-activation functions.
- We-Vibe Tango X- One of the most powerful bullet vibrators with 7 rumbly vibration patterns and 8 adjustable speeds to give you a variety of sensations. Plus, it’s super portable and easy to hide.
- Satisfyer Pro 2- A budget-friendly clitoral stimulator that creates changes in air pressure to deliver pleasure. You get 11 levels of intensity, so you can find a configuration that gives you multiple orgasms without putting anything inside yourself. Plus, it works underwater.
Practice makes perfect
Rome wasn’t built in a day. So if you didn’t orgasm multiple times after your first few tries, don’t lose hope. It takes practice to be better at something—including multiple orgasms.
The more you train, the easier it will be for you to achieve your second, third, fourth (and so on) orgasm.
Orgasmed or did not, multiple or just one—NO PRESSURE. It’s not a requirement or an end goal.
If you enjoyed the journey, then it was a success. The best part? You can always keep trying.
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Love On The Brain: What Science Says Loving Someone Does To You Mentally
I dig science. A big part of the reason why is because I really enjoy researching the “whys” of things. While my father always liked that about me, my mother oftentimes had something slick to say about it (that’s another message for another time, chile). To me, it’s whatever. For better or for worse, I’m simply not someone who accepts that the sky is blue “just because” — put it on my daddy’s DNA, I guess; with no apologies in place, I almost always want to know why something is the way that it is.
And since I spend so much of my time working with couples and writing on relationships, I’m sure no one is shocked that I’ve done my due diligence when it comes to figuring out what is really going on in the minds of humans whenever they are hyped about being in love. While on the surface level, it might seem like I’m being cynical, I’m actually not. It’s more about…well, again, I’ve been working with couples and writing about relationships for so long at this point that I think it’s important for folks to know the difference between an “emotional surge” and a truly wise love decision — and being aware of the role that the brain plays when we think that we’re in love with someone? That can help to bring some perspective and clarity into all of this.
So, whether you’re in something new and you’re currently on cloud nine, you’ve been in something for a while now and you’re wondering if you’ve “lost that loving feeling” or if you’re borderline on the verge of self-sabotage or, you’re like me, and you simply like to know random information just because — I’ve got 10 things that might be of interest to you as far as what science says love can literally do to you on the mental tip.
It’s fascinating stuff, indeed.
1. Dopamine Gets Activated
It’s pretty interesting thatdopamine is a type of neurotransmitter that plays a significant role in things like how you are able to experience pleasure or create memories because both of those are quite relevant when you’re in love with someone. Well, according to science, when you feel like you truly love an individual, dopamine gets activated on a whole ‘nother level to the point where you not only feel euphoric but,it’s at the level of what alcohol or a cocaine high can produce (have mercy!) I’m not exaggerating, either.
In fact, Medical News Today once published an article entitled, “Falling In Love Hits The Brain Like Cocaine Does.” Hmm…makes you wonder if some people run up outta there marriages, not because there’s really anything “wrong”; it’s just that they have crashed from their “cocaine high” and no one prepared them for how to handle it (get into premarital counseling, engaged folks; it makes all the difference in the world!). Also,as far as dopamine goes, when men are “falling” for a woman, it’s dopamine and vasopressin that increase, while, for women, it’s dopamine and oxytocin. During sex, vasopressin drops in men, while oxytocin increases when a woman climaxes. The more you know.2. Euphoria Increases
Let’s go a little bit deeper into the whole euphoria thing. At the end of the day, euphoria is about intensity. I mean, a part of the reason whythe series Euphoria has been so popular (and jarring) is that it showshow drug abuse can put people into a euphoric state — at first in a pleasurable way and eventually on a devastating level. When it comes to love, some experts say that three stages transpire when you feel like you’re in a love-related euphoric state:arousal, attraction, and attachment. And you know what? If you aren’t intentional about doing what Ben Franklin once said (“If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”), you could find yourself being on a roller coaster of emotions without having a relationship that consists of much stability. Yeah, euphoria increasing can be problematic as hell if you don’t get all of what comes with that.
3. Oxytocin Surges
When it comes to the articles that I’ve written on love, sex, and relationships on this platform, I don’t know if there’sany hormone that I’ve shouted out more than oxytocin. That’s because there are countless amounts of intel supporting the fact thatit bonds people through things like hand-holding, cuddling, kissing, and definitely sex. That’s whysome experts say that oxytocin can cause people to become “single-minded” about a person, it cancultivate feelings of trust, and it can literallycreate physiological changes that cause you to seek out your love interest.
This is a part of the reason why, when people declare that they are “in love” after say, a one-night stand, my mind immediately thinks, “Eh. Sounds more like an oxytocin surge.” You don’t know them well enough to love them; you can “love” how they make you feel, though. It’s essential to know the difference.
4. Fear Decreases
Now, this is an interesting one. Something else that science says happens when people are in love is the neural pathway that is associated with things like fear and judgment. It actually deactivates itself (chile…CHILE). Yep, some studies reveal that the part of your brain that encourages you to make “critical assessments” of individuals. When you feel like you love them, that shuts down. As a direct result, in walks the rose-colored glasses, and out goes the red flags. And that’s why, when I recently read that a particular actor didn’t heed some warnings from her friends regarding her new relationship, I literally shook my damn head.
When you’re all in love, especially in the beginning stages, having folks around who don’t feel the same ways about the person as you do can actually help you out in the long run, so long as they are good friends with a solid track record, they are going to notice some things that your neural pathway is keeping you from paying close attention to. Yeah, y’all be careful out there.
5. Your Prefrontal Cortex Slows Down
Speaking of desensitized senses, something else that transpires when you’re caught up in someone isyour prefrontal cortex becomes sluggish. Why is this problematic? Well, that’s where the logical part of your brain is housed. This means that when you love someone, you may not be the best at making sound and practical decisions. Although I don’t agree with an article that said this means that love is illogical (love is sound, sane, and stable; it’s folks who jack relationships up…not love), I do think all of this is a reminder that you must rely on more than just how someone makes you feel when you’re trying to decide who to build a life with. Moving on.
6. Your Hypothalamus Revs Up Your Sex Hormones
I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t know too many people who aren’t attracted to the object of their love and affection. And so, when you do fall in love, something else that happens isthe part of your brain known as the hypothalamus stimulates your ovaries while it also stimulates your man’s testicles — and that is what makes you feel an overwhelming feeling of desire (i.e., lust) for your partner.
7. Your Brain’s “Reward Circuit” Lights All the Way Up
Speaking of longing for your partner, three parts of your brain — the amygdala, the hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex — are known as its “reward circuit,” and whenever you even speak about your bae, this is the part of your brain that lights up like a Christmas tree. Something that’s really interesting about this particular point is, that while this is happening, your serotonin levels typically drop.
Why does this matter? Well, serotonin helps to keep your anxiety levels in balance, and it also helps you to regulate your appetite(s). This would automatically cause me to believe that people who struggle with love addiction probably have a low level of serotonin operating in their system.
Oh, speaking of serotonin, although you may never think to get your hormone levels checked strictly to learn more about how you’re acting/reacting in your romantic relationship,I also found it interesting that people who have more dopamine in their system tend to take more risks when it comes to love while those who have more serotonin are usually far more cautious. Meaning, that how you are in your relationship(s) may not be just about your personality; your hormone levels tend to have a say as well.
8. Your Anterior Cingulate Cortex May Make You Obsessive
Your anterior cingulate cortex is the part of your brain that’s associated with things likemotivation and action. Anyway, since overactivity in this part of the brain is oftentimes linked to things like obsessive-compulsive disorder,some researchers believe that the reason why some people seem to think obsessively about their partner, almost to the point of obsession, if they don’t stay on top of it, is because of how their brain reacts to their attachment to their partner.For the record, this is also the part of your brain that literally lights up whenever you see your partner, too.
9. Vagus Nerves “Sync Up”
Your vagus nerves are a part of your nervous system that starts at your brain and runs through your digestive tract. This makes them an integral part of things like your immunity, your speech, your moods, and your heart rate. As far as your brain goes, some studies reveal that after a couple has been together for a longer period of time, it’s not uncommon for their vagus nerves to “sync up” in the sense of having similar facial expressions and hand gestures being and even their hearts starting to beat at the same pace.As a direct result, the syncing makes it easier for both individuals to make sacrifices for one another in order to remain together. Share that with your grandparents the next time you see them. #wink
10. If You’ve Been Together for a While, Your Angular Gyrus Becomes Stronger
Speaking of longevity, another perk that comes with couples who choose to go the distance is the part of their brain known astheir angular gyrus becomes more active. What’s actually sweet about this is that not only is this what makes it easier for you to learn complex languages, but you can also start to anticipate your partner’s actions with it too. As a direct result, science says that many couples can finish each other’s sentences — and it’s all because their angular gyrus has gotten stronger as a result of them staying committed.
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After reading all of this, how could anyone possibly look at being in love casually? There are far too many intricate parts at work — yes, literally. Yeah, when Rihanna sang about having “love on the brain,” she said more than a mouthful…whether she realized it or not.
And if you declare that you are in love, make sure to factor in what your brain is going through. Then choose wisely. Even your brain and mental health depend on it. Also…literally.
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