Quantcast
RELATED

I’ve always enjoyed the company of men. I don’t just mean on the romantic tip — I mean, I can talk to my male friends for hours on end. And dealing with male clients? Oh, I always gain a new insight or revelation. That’s why it truly does excite me whenever I get a pitch approved where I can pick men’s brains to see what’s going on in there.


When it comes to sex, specifically, some topics that I’ve already covered include “So...15 Men Told Me About What They LOVE During Sex,” “12 Men Share What Turned Them Out During Sex That Just Might Surprise You” and “12 Men Told Me What They Love So Much About Vaginas.” And while those were quite fascinating and insightful, today, we’re going to approach sex from a bit of a different angle.

Although social media likes to act like men are only one-dimensional when it comes to copulation, I know that is a lie. At this point, I’ve talked about intimacy with a ton of guys who have not only stated that sex is so much better for them when an emotional connection is involved, but they’ve also expressed to me what the combination of really being into someone before actually getting into them (if you know what I mean) has meant as far as raising the bar in the bedroom is concerned.

And so, in the effort to buck all of the nonsense on the relationship side of TikTok (as far as the minds of men go), I decided to interview 10 guys on an experience of intimacy that impacted them in a way that it ended up not only physically unforgettable but emotionally hard to top as well. For obvious reasons, I left their relational status out (because it’s not a given that the experience was with someone who they are seeing now), and middle names are always used so that people can speak with ease.

Are you ready to see how just one experience can change everything for a man? Here we go.

Giphy

Andrew. 33.

“Since no one is going to know that it’s me, I’m going to tell it how it really is. I’ve had a lot of sex, but no one has topped my first love to this day. She wasn’t the first person I’ve had sex with, but she was the first person I was totally into. Guys don’t bring it up much because it’s assumed that we just have sex with our d-ck and not much else, but when you love a woman? I mean, really love her and you’re able to be close to her in a sexual way? It doesn’t matter how good somebody else may be in bed; the way that you feel entering into someone you are crazy about makes it the best sex you’ve ever had. And since guys don’t fall in love often…it’s a rare thing.”

Roland. 27.

“The first time I had sex after a girlfriend of mine told me that she loved me; I think that has been my best experience yet. Some of you don’t want to hear it but men like to be loved on for more reasons than what we have or what we can do for someone else. The girl that I’m talking about was that kind of woman. She didn’t just tell me that she loved me; she gave me many reasons why. That took my guard down and made me trust her to the point where whatever — and I mean, WHATEVER — she wanted that night, she could get it. I haven’t thought about that time in a long time. I’m gonna ask my boys this same question at golf. It’s kind of deep.”

Giphy

Galen. 30.

“I’ve only had one one-night stand, and I’m confused if it counts because it wasn’t casual. It was with a woman I met at a deli that I rarely go to. We ordered the same thing, so we went to get the food at the same time, we struck up a conversation. That turned into sharing a table outside, and that turned into drinks later that afternoon and then dinner. We couldn’t run out of things to talk about, which was weird because I’m naturally to myself, and it usually takes a while to warm up. Her mind was crazy in a good way; I just kept wanting to know more. We ended up at her house for coffee, and that turned into sex on her couch. I’m not going to lie — the first two times were quick. She hyper-stimulated me! We went out a few times after that and had sex, too, but things eventually faded because nothing could beat that first time. Sometimes it’s the person. Sometimes it’s the setting. Sometimes it’s the timing. That time it was all three. Haven’t beat it yet, and not sure I will. Damn.”

Ellison. 40.

“My wedding night, no question. Culture is crazy when it comes to marriage these days, but I was raised to take it seriously. Telling someone you love them is one thing, but pledging your life to someone else is next level. When I think back on our wedding day, it was a good day; people don’t like to mention how stressful it can be. I couldn’t wait to get alone and just be with the woman who I could call my wife. We did have sex before getting married but having sex with your ‘girlfriend’ isn’t the same thing as gettin’ it in with your wife. We belonged to each other, and our wedding night made that official. Every time I whispered ‘Mrs [so-and-so], it damn near got us both off.”

-

Giphy

Gerritt. 25.

“Reconnecting with an ex. You have someone in your life who you know that if you had met at a later time, things would be better because you both would be in a better place? That was me and my ex. Nothing crazy broke us up but when we hooked back up online and then met up in person, the sex we had that first time? I have never experienced anything like it. I think it’s because we missed each other and were just meeting another version of ourselves at the same time. What a wild question to ask someone, girl? This shit is deep!”

Yusef. 47.

“It might be a bad comparison but it’s the one I’ve got. They say that the biggest problem with heroin is the high that you get from it the first time you try it; you won’t experience it unless you overdose, and by then, it’s too late. When your first time having sex is with someone who you love — it’s not even about all of the tricks. You both might even be virgins and don’t know what the hell is going on. The point is being so close to someone you love a lot…guys don’t fall in love a billion times like a lot of women do. It’s probably once or twice, max. And when you enter into someone you love for the first time? Men aren’t going to admit it but most of us spend the rest of our lives trying to replicate that experience again. Most of us never do.”

Giphy

Torrance. 43.

“What an interesting question. I do have an immediate answer: it was with my best friend. We just broke up with our exes and got together to talk about how sick we were of their s-it. I don’t think I realized that I suppressed any attraction for my friend because she was basically always seeing somebody. After a few shots and some puffs, we were in my bed, and that was the best sex that I’ve had to this day! We had no walls, no secrets, and weren’t trying to change each other. No vulnerabilities meant no inhibitions. Next level sh-t.”

Shellie here: This actually reminds me of the Black indie movieASecond Chance. If you’ve never seen it before, it’s on Tubi. It’s cute.

Hawkins. 29.

“The first time we had sex after having our first child. Her last trimester was rough. Of course, after months of no sex, I was horny as hell, and then we had to wait the standard few weeks after she gave birth, and then she was going through some body image issues. She was self-conscious, but I didn’t care about how she looked. I missed it. I’ll admit that, at first, all I could really think about was how much I missed sex. But when I really thought about it and was like, ‘This woman gave me what no other woman has: a son’, she was sexier than she ever had been to me. Her body was different, but I didn’t care. She made a miracle happen. The lust caught me completely off guard. I couldn’t get enough of her that night!”

Giphy

Thaddeus. 34.

“It’s when my wife and I decided to call off our divorce, and we had sex that night. Lust is cool. Love is, too. But go through some things with someone, tough sh-t, and then come back together for no other reason than you choose to. That ‘I chose you’ sex? I felt like I damn near was gonna explode that night because I wasn’t just attracted to her; I really trusted her. We decided to spend the rest of our marriage trying to top that night. We sure as hell have been having a ball trying, I’ll tell you that!”

Rexell. 30.

Game night with friends. When it’s couples, a game that displays who knows their partner best is almost always gonna go down. One night, we played three of those games, and my girlfriend and I won each one over some folks in the room who’d been married for years. I didn’t expect it to be a turn-on but the fact that we had learned each other so well and she kept up with some minute details about me had me almost hard, right there on the couch. Sex when you are known and connected is the best sex you’ll ever have. Good times, good times.”

____

See…I told you that when it comes to intimacy, men are not “kiddie pool” shallow. Just like us, many of them crave some type of real mental and emotional connection because, even to them, it makes sex better.

Just a reminder to prioritize quality time with your partner.

It’s great for your relationship. It makes what goes down in your bedroom so much better, too.

10 men just sat up here and cosigned on it.

Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.

Featured image by Giphy

 

RELATED

 
ALSO ON XONECOLE
40 Micro-Actions To Take Today To Close Out 2024 Big

We have less than 40 days left in 2024, and while I'm not one to rush goals just because it's the end of the year, it can be fun to challenge yourself to think about ways you'll close out this year big.

KEEP READINGShow less
Everything You Need To Know About Embodying Black Cat Energy In Relationships

Black cat energy is all the hype right now. It’s heralded as a key to a thriving love life that centers you as the prize, particularly to the golden retriever type of lover.

If you consider yourself mysterious, smart, playful, and highly selective of who you give your affection to, then you’re already exuding what TikTokers have coined as “black cat energy.” Or maybe you’re struggling with the mindboggling loop of dating the wrong lovers that make you feel like you’re chasing after them, and you want to learn how to flip the roles to make bae obsessed with you.

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS