When Michelle Obama shared that being in quarantine had caused her to experience a low-grade level of depression, I'm pretty sure that a lot of us could totally feel where she was coming from. The reality is, no matter how outgoing or introverted we are, this pandemic has definitely tried us when it comes to not being able to engage others (in the way that we're used to) and not going out on the regular, while also trying to figure out how to manage our job, finances, relationships and children (if we're parents). After a while, trying to balance all of this can take its toll.
That's why, it's so important to make sure that you practice self-care right through here, and that you reach out to your friends, just to make sure that they're good. If, when it comes to the latter, you're all about that, but you're not sure how to do it during this "new normal" of ours, here are 10 tips that can make your homies feel loved, encouraged and totally supported as we all continue to ride COVID-19 out.
1. Start Off the Morning with a Motivational Quote
I'm probably being a little biased when I say this, but since I am such a lover of quotes, I had to make sure this point topped the list. Anyone who's read any of my articles on here knows that I'm not the most succinct person on the planet (don't judge me). Yet that's actually why I dig quotes so much—they're a concise way to motivate, inspire or affirm someone. That's why I say that one way to support your friends is to make it a habit to wake up and text them a great quote; one that will encourage them to start their day off on the right foot. It can make them feel more positive while also making you feel great for being so thoughtful, at the same time.
2. Stay on Top of Their Love Language
As a marriage life coach, I'm a firm believer that one of the biggest struggles in relationships is assuming that the way you want love to be expressed is automatically the way someone else desires for it to be. And you know what? Until a lot of us accept that this way of thinking is more about our ego than anything else, we could get in our own way when it comes to getting closer to those we truly care about.
That's why, not only am I a fan of implementing love languages in romantic relationships, but when it comes to parenting and friendships too. Matter of fact, last year, I wrote an article entitled "This Is How To Apply Love Languages To Your Friendships" to help you better understand how your own friends' love language(s) can be better applied. For instance, while my top one is words of affirmation, a lot of my friends are quality time folks. Since we're not seeing each other right now, they will shoot me a random email or mail me a card and I will set aside an hour to just chat about…shoot, whatever they want to chat about.
Trust me, making the time to even find out what your friend's love language is will make them feel like you are being truly proactive in meeting their relational needs. And proactiveness is a superpower beyond measure in any relationship. It really is.
3. Keep Up with Special Days
I think it's a Gemini thing that we're super over-the-top when it comes to birthdays. Matter of fact, I don't even observe holidays, so my friends know that, come June 17 of every year, I'm like, "What…is…UP?" However, my friends who also remember that I observe Rosh Hashanah (because Christ was a Jew, right?—Mark 15:2) and make sure to send a special shout-out on that day (especially since it changes every year)? That really warms my soul.
Everyone has a birthday. But most of us have special days besides that. Finding out what your friends' are is another way to take real initiative in the friendship. Plus, since the pandemic is causing days, weeks and months to kinda all run in together, reaching out to your friends, on their special days, can help them to feel like 2020 wasn't just one long—Monday (chile…chile).
4. Do Some Group Journaling
Journaling is dope. If you're not someone who does it on the regular, you'd be amazed by how much it can de-stress you and bring clarity to things you may be internalizing. Well, when it comes to group journaling, basically it consists of people getting together to do it. Everyone can offer up writing prompts (like themes or topics) for each session. Then, a time period is set aside to journal. Once everyone is done, they are encouraged to read some of what they shared out loud and expound, if they'd like. Then their audience (or in this case, their friends) can share their thoughts about their thoughts. Not only is group journaling a way to keep your creative juices flowing but it can help you to show real courage when it comes to being vulnerable with others. It can also help you to be more open to hearing other points of view.
When you look at group journaling from this perspective, who better to group journal with than your homies? You can even get each other super hyped up by agreeing to purchase a fresh journal for each other, while letting it be a surprise what the journal looks like until you each receive yours in the mail. (While we still have the mail. Lawd, get Trump outta here!)
5. Schedule Weekly (or Monthly) Face-to-Face Calls
Although a lot of us have the mindset that, so long as we see someone we care about like an IG post or tweet something out into cyberspace, they must be cool, there is nothing like holding an actual conversation with your friends. While you might not have the time (or emotional energy) to reach out on the daily, try and schedule a chat at least once a week or once a month. It's the easiest way to catch up and oftentimes the most effective way for people to feel like they aren't out here dealing, alone.
6. Come Up with Your Own Theme Days
Charge it to that Gemini thing if you'd like, but one of my favorite sites is National Day Calendar. You'd be amazed the kind of days of observance are on the books (it's actually where I got the idea to write articles like "Make 'National Bathtub Party Day' Your Favorite Day Of The Year", "'National All Or Nothing Day' Reminds Us That Sometimes It Needs To Be Just That", "Celebrate What Makes You "YOU" On National Inner Beauty Day", "National Girls' Night In Day Is This Sunday. Here's How To Kick It This Weekend." and "Whew, Chile. It's National Orgasm Day!"). Well, who said that you and your friends can't come up with your own theme days? A wine day. A pamper day. A listen to nothing but 90s R&B day. A get-over-our-ex day. The anniversary of your friendship day. The sky is the limit here, but if you add a few theme days to your own calendar, it's something else that can definitely break up the monotony of this pandemic.
7. Send Them Something Thoughtful
Money is tight in the time of COVID-19. Boy, do I know it. But if there was ever a time when "it's the thought that counts" rings true, it would be during this season of life.
Sending something thoughtful to your friends doesn't mean that it has to be expensive. It can be a scented soy candle for their bedroom. A movie stream to add to their collection. Or shoot, a personalized mask.
I've copped a few myself on Etsy that have been quite the conversation piece when I'm out at the grocery store (which is basically the only place I go these days) because I make sure they all have a Black cultural message. There are plenty of merchants that will personalize a mask for you for under 20 bucks. Just go to the site and put "Black culture mask" or "personalized mask" in the search field to see what tickles your fancy.
8. Watch Movies (or Read a Book) Together (by Video or Phone)
I don't know about y'all, but I DEFINITELY did not think that 2020 was gonna be the year of watching more movies (or re-watching more movies) than my mind can comprehend. I also didn't believe that I would be getting back to chain reading like I did when I was a kid. But here we are. I'm personally the kind of person who prefers to watch and read alone (unless I'm boo'ed up which is a totally irrelevant point at this time). But if you're an extrovert or you've simply gotten to the point where cabin fever has you going insane, something else that you can do is have a virtual (or phone) meeting with your friends where y'all can watch movies or even read and/or discuss books together. On the movie tip, if coins are so tight that you had to cut your cable and streaming services, Tubi is a site that shows movies (and even some throwback television series), in all kinds of genres, for free. There are ads that pop up from time to time but again, since it's free, it's basically worth it.
9. Design Electronic Vision Boards Together
While "this too shall" pass isn't exactly Scriptural, that doesn't make it any less true. Besides, Ecclesiastes 3:1(NKJV) assures us that, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." So, while it might seem like this pandemic—and all of the fallout from it—is going to last FOR-E-VER, it won't. To make sure that you don't fall into a lethargic way of living your life until you are able to "get back out again", how about doing some electronic vision boards with your friends? It can be a professional one that is focused on careers goals, a personal one that is focused on personal development or even a relational one where you explore what you will do differently once you can actually go on real dates again. The reason why I recommend electronic ones is because they are easy, convenient and a cool way to exchange your visions without having to worry about mailing poster boards back and forth. Plus, doing a project like this can bring in glimmers of hope and excitement on low (or just sheer boredom) days. You can find different apps for this here.
10. Be Their Accountability Partner
An author by the name of Will Craig once said, "Accountability is the glue that bonds commitments to results." While your friends are grown and don't need another mother or proverbial hall monitor for their life, accountability is good in the sense of checking in, encouraging them to keep the goals that they set and yes, even calling them out on their ish when necessary. There are a lot of people out here who are suffering, BIG TIME, during COVID-19. A part of the reason why is because they lack a loving, loyal and compassionate accountability partner. It can never hurt to ask your friends if they feel like they need one. It also can't hurt for you to ask them to be one for you.
Accountability is simply about holding each other responsible. It's an anchor that can keep you and your friends secure until things level back out. Get one. Be one. It'll bless you both.
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider
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Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil
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Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C
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Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST
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Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
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