Grace "Spice" Hamilton is a Grammy-nominated artist who has been dubbed “The Queen of Dancehall.” She’s also the first Jamaican female dancehall artist in her genre to reach one billion views on YouTube collectively. Her 25-year-long career encompasses many milestones, and she continues to work daily to grow and diversify her legacy. Whether you love her for the bold personality that she shows as a castmate on Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, her feel-good party music, or her beauty and fashion influence – she’s someone whose presence is magnetic.
But Spice the person is very different from what fans and supporters experience. When asked what readers may be surprised to learn about her she said: that she’s a homebody, likes to throw down in the kitchen, and that she’s a Christian who takes her worship seriously. During this convo, she gave us a glimpse into her life and background in her career journey that audiences may not always get to see on TV or on social media. Check out the exclusive conversation with xoNecole below.
xoNecole: When you’re not on-camera or performing, what does your life look like?
Spice: When I do get a few days off, it normally goes to my kids. I try to dedicate all my free time to being a mother, which is me taking the wigs off, pulling out my natural hair, cooking, and being with them – just having regular days. The days I can be Grace Hamilton are my best and most fun times. That’s also what I love about my artistry. My fans know when I have blue hair, I'm being Spice. But when they see the black hair, they know I probably just want to be a mother and be alone.
xoN: Balance is important, especially for a twenty-five-year career. Can you talk to me about your evolution as an artist? What lessons have you learned?
Spice: I’ve learned that consistency is the key to success. I feel like that’s why I’m relevant to this day. Being in a male-dominated business from 1999 to now is nothing but consistency and hard work. Also, just having faith in God and knowing that He will deliver me. I’ve learned that losses are lessons. Sometimes things happen in your life for a reason. You just have to learn from them, pick up the pieces, and move on. That’s why I called the album MIRROR 25. I've been doing a lot of reflection of all the things that I‘ve overcome – things like heartache, betrayal, music industry struggles, colorism, and more. So when I look in the mirror, I definitely do a lot of self-reflection and self-healing. Twenty-five years hasn’t been a walk in the park, and now I have a lot to celebrate.
"Sometimes things happen in your life for a reason. You just have to learn from them, pick up the pieces, and move on. That’s why I called the album MIRROR 25. I've been doing a lot of reflection of all the things that I‘ve overcome – things like heartache, betrayal, music industry struggles, colorism, and more."
xoN: During that self-reflection period is there anything new you’ve learned about yourself, negative or positive? Would you mind sharing those reflections?
Spice: The good thing I’ve learned is that I’m a warrior. I feel like I’m very strong – it doesn’t matter what’s going on. I defeated a lot of naysayers who didn’t think I’d make it this far. The bad thing I’ve learned is that I allow myself to be caught in the trap of the naysayers. Sometimes, people will literally come up to provoke you, and I’ve always been the one to fall in the trap. It’s like people say something, and I just have to defend myself. I need to realize that with fame, that just comes with it.
Photo by Mackinley Madhere from Spex Photography
xoN: Also, I wanna address one of the issues you touched on earlier. You mentioned colorism. I’m in my 30s, and I still meet women my age who feel uncomfortable with their skin complexion. If you could give a piece of advice to women like that who struggle with self-confidence due to colorism, what would you say?
Spice: I’d say, if I can make it, so can you. I remember when people would make me feel like I had to bleach my skin to appear to be lighter and have a certain image. When I did "Colorism" back in 2018 and appeared to be lighter, it was because of conversations like this. I wanted to remind girls that look like me that they too can make it big in Hollywood.
xoN: Okay, let’s get a bit into the new project. How do you hope this album makes women feel?
Spice: I hope it makes them feel happy and accepted. I want them to live in their truth. It doesn’t matter their size or race. I just want people to hear my music and just want to dance and have fun. And most of my music is like that, where it just brings good energy and lets people know it’s time to dance and have fun.
"I hope it makes them feel happy and accepted. I want them to live in their truth. It doesn’t matter their size or race. I just want people to hear my music and just want to dance and have fun. And most of my music is like that, where it just brings good energy and lets people know it’s time to dance and have fun."
xoN: There’s a lot of vulnerability on this album. What were your emotions like when you put everything out?
Spice: I had mixed feelings because I’ve been in the business for 25 years. I know how people receive certain things, but I also didn’t want the controversy to overshadow the message. In the "2085 Tea," I dressed like an older person talking to my younger self. Even though the song is controversial, it’s real-life experiences. These are things that happened to me and I overcame, and I know there's a lot of women that go through similar stuff, and I wanted to remind them that we’re all human. But people who were parts of my past are gonna come out and vocally express I didn't have to reflect on that, but who are they to reflect on my past?
xoN: Generally, is it important to you to set the record straight on conversations related to yourself or do you prefer to just let people think whatever they want?
Spice: I’m my own voice. A lot of times, fans feel like I’m bigger than answering. But I don’t feel that way. I’m a human first, and if someone paints a picture of me that’s not true, then I need to be open and honest with my fans so they hear my side of my story. I’ve worked hard for 25 years to build a brand, and I can’t just allow someone to tarnish my reputation. So unfortunately, I’m someone who will come out and voice my opinion on things that aren’t true.
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Feature image by Mackinley Madhere from Spex Photography
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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