

When I tell you that, even as I’m typing all of this, I’ve got around 45 tabs open — I am absolutely not exaggerating (if you’ve got a laptop, get a laptop cooling pad; it’s a lifesaver when it comes to your keyboard!). Between all of the writing assignments that I have and tidbits of information that I come across, I have to keep them open until I find a “home” for all of the content that I collect.
Today, I’m about to clear out quite a few as I share with you something that I talk about a lot over on this platform: SEX. Only this time, because the tidbits are not (necessarily) long enough for their own piece, yet they are interesting enough to share, I’m going to tackle 15 current sex-related points back-to-back that might surprise you. Maybe, maybe not. At the very least, it’ll give you and your girls something to talk about the next time you get together for after-work drinks.
Ah, sex. It never stops being fascinating, y’all. Here we go.
1. Not Kissing During Sex Is More Common than You Think
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?” While that might sound odd to some (me included), the people I interviewed for it aren’t alone. For better or for worse, although close to 90 percent of people said that they kissed during their last sexual encounter, people under 30 are more likely to skip out on doing it because “kissing is too intimate.” Umm…sooo…genitalia on and in you isn’t? Chile…nevermind.
2. The Use of Plan B Has Doubled
Yeah, I don’t know what I think about this one because I personally think that Plan B hasn’t been around long enough for folks to be popping them like Tums. For one thing, it’s important to remember that it’s supposed to be used as emergency contraception; secondly, since it only helps to prevent pregnancy, people still need to get out here using condoms. Plus, side effects like irregular (menstrual bleeding), headaches, and a lower libido need to be kept in mind.
All of that said, it looks like people are using Plan B more than ever before, to the point where 1 in 4 women say that they have used it before. That brings me back to the importance of condom use (which, short of a latex allergy, doesn’t really have side effects). I’ll talk about this more at the end of all of this.
3. Millennials Think Sex Is More Important than Gen Z-ers Do
I’m not gonna get to preaching about how I find myself saying, at least three times a week, that when you don’t know the purpose of something, you are bound to misuse or abuse it — and how, to me, sex is on the very top of that list. I’ll just say that with the current state of our culture, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that Gen Z (born 1997-2021) is out here Elmo shrugging when it comes to sex. Meanwhile, the generation who comes right before them (y’all, millennials don’t go on forever…LOL; it’s folks who were born between 1981-1996) actually make sex more of a priority.
Now, I will say that I appreciate that only 5 percent of the Gen Z crew think that sex is the most important part of a relationship. That shows some depth in their mindset, for sure.
4. Uncut Men Are Totally Underestimated
If there are two things that I find to be, let’s go with “fascinatingly hypocritical” when it comes to online gender banter, is the fact that a lot of women like to crack on short guys while not wanting men to say anything about women’s weight and that women also seem to be hella dismissive of men who haven’t been circumcised when a lot of us have vulvas and vaginas that have quite a bit of extra skin going on as well.
That’s why I had to shout out the fact that when it comes to men who are uncut, they actually tend to have more intense orgasms than men who are circumcised.
Not only that, but women who engage in coitus with uncircumcised guys tend to experience less “bang-bang-bang” sex and have more orgasms, too. Well, looka there.
5. Folks over 50 Like Doggy Style Most
A couple of months ago, I saw an IG post of a woman who was struggling up the stairs with some Timberland boots in hand. Her caption simply said, “If your man owns a pair of these, then you know.” LOL. Chile. And who would’ve thought that although 50 isn’t old (AT ALL), with all of the folks out here with back issues, bad mattresses, and the need to work out a bit more, the fave position for those who are 25 times two and over is doggy style (with missionary coming after and the spoon position trailing after that)?
While it should come as no surprise that men enjoy the visuals and powerful feelings that come with the position, I’m curious to know how many of y’all can relate to the Women’s Health article, “12 Thoughts Every Girl Has During Doggy Style.” Hop up in the comments and let me know.
6. Meanwhile, Women Prefer Missionary (Most of All)
Not too long ago, I was in an interview with someone who told me that submission (to men) was antiquated. I immediately said, “So, you don’t have sex then?” When she asked me what I meant, I said, “Isn’t the missionary position an act of submitting to a man?” She immediately changed the subject (uh-uh). Hey, don’t take my word for it.
A GQ article literally cited that most women still find missionary to be a top-tier sexual position, in part because “the eye contact, the mild male dominance, and the angle of penetration make it a popular one among women..”
And with that, let’s move on to the next point.
7. Women Are Still Faking. Men Are Still Not Believing It.
I’ve written about faking it on this platform before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”). Personally, I’m not a fan (check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP”). A huge part of the reason is that I’m pretty word-literal, and fake means things like deceive, fraudulent, and pretending — yeah, I don’t know how anything truly beneficial comes out of that, especially long-term.
Anyway, somebody let the fellas know that faking is still alive and “well” no matter what they think because it’s also been cited that while 85 percent of guys think that they made their partner cum the last time they had sex with them, only 64 percent of women said that was actually the case (vaginal contracting happens during climaxing, fellas. Always remember that).
8. Men Ain’t the Only Ones Who Loathe Rubbers
A male friend of mine recently told me that wearing a condom is like wanting to enjoy the rain while in your car when the windows are rolled up. I shared that with some other men I know and they pretty much agreed. One expounded and said it’s like “wearing a trash bag on your d-ck.” Hmm. Although a part of me thinks that folks need to do better at wearing rubbers that actually fit them (because only 50 percent do), men are not alone in not being the biggest fan of prophylactics.
Apparently, a whole lot of women also think that condoms make sex less pleasurable, too. I mean, raw sex in a long-term committed relationship (where two people are exclusive, honest, and tested regularly) is understandably the most ideal situation.
For everyone else who wants to avoid pregnancy and/or STDs and/or doesn’t want to rely on hormone-filled birth control to prevent conception — a list of “barely like it's even on” condoms can be found here.
9. Around 20 Percent of People Are Abstinent
If you’re currently abstinent and it seems like you’re the only one on the planet that is,trust me, you ain’t. Reportedly, around 19-20 percent of people are currently not having sex (intentionally). Interestingly enough, many women don’t, either due to discomfort during sex or having a low libido. Also, on the topic of not gettin’ any, I think it should go on record that most of the population is no longer a virgin by 22. At the same time, around 27 percent of young men are still virgins. Yeah, bet that last thing wasn’t on your Bingo card…was it?
10. Women Don’t Find Money to Be As Sexy As Social Media Says
Chile, if you leave it up to TikTok, every woman in the world is out for a man’s money. However, a study of over 17,000 women actually said that what women find to be the sexiest thing in a man is confidence (65 percent), followed by humor (54 percent) and intelligence (53 percent). And just where did a man’s wallet place? Last — at 7 percent. Share it with everyone you know.
11. Some Men Intentionally Bring Condoms to Funerals
A random movie that I like isCatch & Release (Jennifer Garner, Juliette Lewis). In the trailer, you see a couple having sex in a bathroom right after a funeral. That’s what crossed my mind when I read that, reportedly, 1 in 8 men bring condoms to homegoings. I don’t mean that there is one already in their wallet; I mean that they plan on having rubbers on tap — just in case. I mean, if ever there’s a time when emotions are all over the place, that would be it. Not sure how to close this one out so, I’ll just go to the next.
12. Religious Folks Have Better Sex than “Secular” Ones Do
One of my favorite Message Version translations of Scripture is I Corinthians 6:16-20. It starts off by saying this:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’”
You know, no matter what you think about the Bible, science even backs that sex bonds people (thanks to oxytocin, for starters). And when you add a serious commitment and a spiritual foundation into the mix, I’m not surprised that, reportedly, religious couples profess to have more satisfying sex than “secular people” do. Not surprised at all.
13. Women Like Sex Toys. A LOT.
Here’s my TMI tidbit for the day: I don’t own nor have I ever owned or even used a sex toy (well, not one that needs batteries). Never had the need or curiosity to. Oh, but when I toured with an organization that got people out of the porn industry, I learned quite a bit about them and knew that they were going to be increasing in demand and use — and that is all true.
Word on the street is that 50 percent of people use some type of sex toy on a weekly basis, 82 percent of women own at least one sex toy (vibrators are their favorite pick) and almost 40 percent of women would prefer to use their sex toys without their partner. Hmm…does anyone care to expound on that last part?
14. People over 60 Are Still Gettin’ It In
Every time I see something on social media that alludes to the fact that folks over 40 aren’t really having that much sex, I get irritated. Some people are so young-minded that they think 40 is ancient. Meanwhile, their parents and grandparents are out here running circles around some of these 20-somethings. Case in point: nine million women over 60 had sex at least once last year; 13 percent say that they enjoy sex more now than they did a decade ago; 57 percent said that they (almost) always cum with their partner (can you say the same?), and 14 percent masturbate a few times a month.
If you add to that the fact that more than half of people between the ages of 57-75 have oral sex and one-third between 75-85 are doing the same and that 54 percent of those aged 75-85 engage in intercourse 2-3 times a month while 23 percent get it in at least once a week — whew! Can we finally put ageism, as it specifically relates to sexual activity, where it belongs? In. The. Trash.
15. More People Need to Be Wearing Condoms. SERIOUSLY.
Listen, I don’t know why the fact that just knowing that syphilis has increased 80 percent over the past several years isn’t enough for people to WRAP IT UP out here (le sigh). Oh, and yet here we are: only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms consistently. Sometimes, I just sit and think about all of the confusion, chaos, and avoidable sickness out here, and it’s all because 1) we treat sex too casually and/or 2) we don’t use protection.
There are plenty of Google links to prove that it’s not my opinion that STIs/STDs aren’t going anywhere — probably ever. In fact, they are reportedly surging. So, out of the 15 things that you just read, I saved the best one for last in the sense that, for the sake of your overall health and well-being (as well as your partner’s), USE CONDOMS. Raw sex lasts a moment. The outcome? That can be a lifetime. Real talk and straight up.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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