
I like biblical Scripture a lot. That is absolutely no secret. And if there is a set of verses that I think get overlooked, far more than they ever should, it’s Titus 2:1-8. It’s basically instructions for mentors when it comes to people who are younger than they are. You know, although we live in a culture that is Lifetime-level obsessed with youth, don’t get it twisted: there are invaluable pearls of wisdom that you can glean from those who have a few more years on you.
Take something that all of us are going to face at one point or another, for instance: menopause. Just imagine how much easier it would be to go through perimenopause, menopause, and even post-menopause if you had some real-life advice and insights.
That is what I’m going to provide you today, thanks to 10 women who have passed menopause and are willing to share what they wish someone had told them beforehand. Hopefully, it can help you to navigate that season and stage of your life…once it arrives.
*Middle names are always used in my interview-based content so that people can speak freely*
Giphy1. Esther. 54.
“What I was completely unprepared for is the fatigue that the transition sends you through. For like two years, all I could think about was how much I couldn’t wait to get into my bed and I was never that kind of person before. I was starting to wonder if I was in denial about being depressed, so I mentioned it to my doctor and she said that it was because estrogen gives you an energy boost and mine was on the decline. I didn’t want to do any estrogen therapy and so I ate more foods that have estrogen in them and took a few estrogen supplements. All of this helped.”
Shellie here: Plant-based estrogen is called phytoestrogen. Foods that contain phytoestrogen include peaches, berries, cauliflower, broccoli, garlic, oats and flaxseeds. As far as supplements that can increase your estrogen levels, I’m always gonna be a fan of evening primrose oil along with chasteberry and vitamins B and D.
2. Theia. 45.
“Please make sure that before you go through a full hysterectomy that you speak with at least three professionals. I had so many fibroids and cysts that my doctor told me to get one and I didn’t know enough about what was going on to request to keep at least one of my ovaries. They took everything. That kicked me into early menopause and it hasn’t been fun. Do your own research. It’s more available than ever.”
Giphy3. Farron. 52.
“Dry skin. Out of all of the things that perimenopause put me through, that is the thing that annoyed me the most because, no matter how much I tried to moisturize my skin, it would feel scratchy and parched within a matter of hours — and that was hell during the night because my back and legs were constantly itchy. Drinking more water is a good hack but so is taking an omega-3 supplement, sealing your skin when you get out of the shower and applying something thick like shea butter at night.”
Shellie here: The reason why dry skin upticks during perimenopause is because, as your estrogen levels fluctuate, it tends to lower your sebum and collagen levels. That’s why consuming more collagen (like a supplement or collagen-enriched foods like citrus fruit, bone broth and egg whites) can also be beneficial for you.
4. Michelle. 56.
“I never thought about peeing as much as I did going through menopause. I used to be the one who would watch those Depend commercials and be like ‘That’s for old folks.’ But then I started noticing that when I laughed, a little pee would come out. And sometimes at night, my panties would be soaked before even making it to the bathroom. My doctor told me that my hormones were all over the place and that can impact my bladder, mostly because my pelvic walls were weaker. Kegels helped but be prepared for the squirts. Most women I know go through that.”
Giphy5. Alania. 55.
“I wish I knew that menopause only lasts a day — Shellie actually told me that and it was about a year after I [officially] went through menopause. You’re not actually going through menopause; you’re going through perimenopause which is all of the stuff that happens before menopause. That would’ve given me a greater understanding of some of the stuff that was happening to me in my late 30s that I didn’t quite understand, and it would’ve caused me to research post-menopause a lot sooner. Shellie has always said that once we get our period, we are dealing with it, one way or another, for the rest of our lives. She is absolutely correct.”
Shellie here: Okay, so the average age that a woman goes into menopause is 51. Perimenopause-related symptoms tend to start around 8-10 years before menopause and can last from 4-8 years (I know, right?). Post-menopause consists of symptoms that may or may not occur after you’ve officially experienced menopause and it can last for the rest of your life (which is why some women opt for post-menopausal hormone therapy). Those symptoms can include insomnia, a low libido, incontinence, vaginal dryness and night sweats. Like I said, your period impacts you, somehow, some way, the rest of your life, chile.
6. Grace. 50.
“The way that it will f-ck your entire shape up! I’m telling you that somebody should’ve told me that one day, my waist would be snatched to the gods and the next day — where the hell did it go? And guys, I’m someone who works out on the regular! Your hormones changing changes everything about you. Talk to a nutritionist who specializes in menopause and watch foods that create inflammation. It seems to make you look more bloated than ever when you’re menopausal.”
Shellie here: She ain’t neva lied. SMDH. That’s why I wrote article for the platform like “Perimenopause Shifting Your Shape? 7 Ways to Deal” and “'Menopause Belly' Actually Is A Real Thing. Here's How To Handle It.”
Giphy7. Leone. 52.
“I’m the woman who thinks that we should automatically be able to work from home 2-3 days a week while we’re on our period because if your cramps are anything like mine were — I’ll put it this way: it’s a miracle that I was able to concentrate on anything at all. Same thing for going through menopause because what was really difficult for me was the constant brain fog that I was experiencing. I couldn’t really remember anything. I would do certain tasks more than once. It was like I was gaslighting myself. I was miserable.”
Shellie here: It truly can’t be said enough that sleep is not a luxury; it is an absolute necessity, especially when you’re going through perimenopause. Sleep, consuming less alcohol and playing memory-themed games are some all-natural ways to combat brain fog if that is something that you are currently experiencing.
8. Kristen. 53.
“I’m starting to notice more articles and even commercials about menopause and that’s a good thing because I think what I wish I knew was more about menopause, period. Come to think about it, we need to do better about menstrual education because all I really knew about my period is that I was going to bleed and it might hurt and, it wasn’t until my periods were all over the place, that I started doing my own research on menopause. We don’t freak out when winter comes because we know about it. I think menopause would be easier on most of us if we had as much information about it as possible.”
Giphy9. Erra. 48.
“I wish I had been told to seek out my family history more and to get my hormone levels checked after 35 whether my physician recommended it or not. I ended up going into early menopause because my hormone levels were dangerously low. When I mentioned it to my mother and one of my aunts, they said that the same thing happened to them. Imagine if I had known that in my 20s and 30s. Be proactive about knowing as much as you can about your health.”
10. Helyn. 53.
“Are there menopause life coaches? If not, there should be. All you pretty much hear about menopause is you’re not going to have a period anymore and you might experience some hot flashes. Girl, menopause is an entire life transition. Your hormones change. Your body changes. Your sex life changes. And that causes you to see yourself, your relationships and even some of your life goals differently. I wish I had gotten into some sort of therapy before menopause. It would’ve kept me from wondering what in the world was going on with me every other day.”
Shellie here: I did a bit of digging and it would appear that menopause (life) coaching is a growing field. If you’re interested in becoming a menopause coach yourself, here is where you may find some answers to your initial questions. A tip? Do check with ICF to see if any coaching program that you’re considering is ICF accredited; that will help to give you more relevance in the life coaching industry.
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Again, contrary to what society tells you, there is not one wrong thing with aging. Aging is a blessing. In fact, Proverbs 20:29(NKJV) says, “The glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their gray head.”
Menopause is a part of the process — and the more you know, the less stressful it has to be.
And again, here’s hoping that the advice of these women has eased your mind in some way — so that you can embrace your season instead of dreading it…whenever it chooses to come your way.
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Featured image by pikselstock/Shutterstock
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It Girl 100 Class Of 2025: Meet The Empire Builders You Need To Know
She's a boss, and she's minding the business that pays her. Literally and figuratively.
Whether she's launching her next business venture, turning passion projects into paper, or building her side hustle into a legacy, she's proof that visionary women don't wait for a seat at the table. She builds her own, then pulls up a chair for the next woman. The empire-builders of xoNecole's 2025 It Girl 100 lead with purpose and profit, spinning their "why" into wealth.
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting entrepreneurs, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing creatives who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
The women repping for the Business category are empire builders shaping the next generation of entrepreneurship, as founders, investors, and CEOs, shifting culture while expanding their brands and their net worth.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Business.

Artist and Founder of GROWN Media Kaya Nova
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Kaya Nova
Her Handle: @thekayanova
Her Title: Artist and Founder, GROWN Media
Who's That It Girl: Kaya Nova is the artist-entrepreneur whose voice bridges melody and empowerment as the founder of GROWN Mag and GROWN Media. We celebrate her for turning her artistry into activism, creating music and experiences that honor womanhood, vulnerability, and the beauty of becoming your full self.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm multitalented and I'm powerful beyond measure."

Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon Erin Goldson
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Erin Goldson
Her Handle: @eringoldson
Her Title: Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Erin Goldson, brand marketer and founder of Vineyard Icon, a platform celebrating Martha’s Vineyard culture and creativity. She blends strategy and community building with effortless polish to turn ideas into impact.

Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo Necole Kane
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Necole Kane
Her Handle: @hellonecole
Her Title: Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo
Who's That It Girl: Necole Kane is a media mogul and entrepreneur who founded NecoleBitchie.com and xoNecole.com. She now leads feminine wellness brand My Happy Flo, advocating for women's hormonal health through plant-based supplements and holistic solutions.

FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator Jackie Aina
Credit: Kirstin Enlow
Jackie Aina
Her Handle: @jackieaina
Her Title: FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: A trailblazer who changed the face of beauty forever, Jackie Asamoah built a legacy on authenticity and advocacy. We love her for redefining luxury through inclusion and for reminding women everywhere that self-care is a radical, joyful act.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm owning my power and finding balance in it."

Founder and Investor Shannae Ingleton Smith
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Shannae Ingleton Smith
Her Handle: @torontoshay
Her Title: Founder and Investor
Who's That It Girl: Shannae Ingleton Smith is President and Co-founder of Kensington Grey, an influencer agency representing 200+ creators. A former media sales executive, she now invests in creator-led startups, including 12PM Studios.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m breaking ceilings and expanding the table."

Founder of LORVAE De'arra Taylor
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De'arra Taylor
Her Handle: @dearra
Her Title: Founder of Fashion Brand LORVAE
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate De'arra Taylor as the founder and CEO of LORVAE, an eyewear brand built on reinvention, confidence, and bold individuality. Her creative direction turns sunglasses into statements and community into a lifestyle.

Founder of The Lip Bar Melissa Butler
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Melissa Butler
Her Handle: @melissarbutler
Her Title: Founder of The Lip Bar
Who's That It Girl: Melissa Butler transformed The Lip Bar from a kitchen concept into a multimillion-dollar movement. We honor her for challenging industry norms and proving that boldness, beauty, and business brilliance can coexist unapologetically.

Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation Denetrias Charlemagne
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Denetrias “Dee” Charlemagne
Her Handle: @dcharlemagne
Her Title: Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation, Walmart
Who's That It Girl: A powerhouse behind purpose-driven partnerships, Denetrias Charlemagne bridges culture and commerce at Walmart with grace and innovation. We honor her for amplifying representation in retail and using her platform to build spaces where authenticity and excellence thrive.

Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled Kirby Porter
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Kirby Porter
Her Handle: @kirbyporter
Her Title: Chief Brand Officer, Unrivaled
Who's That It Girl: Strategic, visionary, and driven by impact, Kirby Porter is building the future of athlete branding. We’re inspired by her as the founder of New Game Labs and Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled, showing that strategy can be soulful and sport can be storytelling.

Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl Nana Agyemang
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Nana Agyemang
Her Handle: @itsreallynana
Her Title: Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl
Who's That It Girl: A journalist turned founder, Nana Agyemang built EveryStylishGirl to amplify Black women in media. We love her for opening doors, building pipelines of opportunity, and using her voice to change the face of modern storytelling.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm a boss and I'm still soft."

Vice President of Content at ESSENCE Nandi Howard
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Nandi Howard
Her Handle: @itsnandibby
Her Title: Vice President of Content, ESSENCE
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Nandi Howard, Vice President of Content and Editorial at ESSENCE. Her leadership elevates Black culture with clarity and celebration and shapes the stories and standards that move audiences.

Founder of Sisters In Media Oladotun Idowu
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Oladotun Idowu
Her Handle: @ola_idowu
Her Title: Founder of Sisters In Media
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Oladotun Idowu, entertainment marketing leader at Campari Group and founder of Sisters in Media, for bridging brands and culture while championing women of color across media. Strategy and purpose guide her work.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes I'm walking into rooms with boldness and grace knowing that God has way more in stored for me."

Founder of Fortune & Forks Krystal Vega
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Krystal Vega
Her Handle: @krystalvega
Her Title: Founder of Fortune & Forks, Multimedia
Who's That It Girl: Krystal Vega’s work lives at the intersection of innovation and influence. We celebrate her as a next-gen entrepreneur shaping digital spaces where women of color lead confidently, create fearlessly, and build legacies beyond the screen.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm that girl and so are you."

Founder of Fortune & Forks Naomi Wright
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Naomi Wright
Her Handle: @naomiwrighttt
Who's That It Girl: Naomi Wright leads with style, purpose, and power. We’re inspired by her for building platforms like Fortune & Forks that merge beauty, business, and bold self-expression, proving that influence can be both impactful and intentional.

Entrepreneur and Podcast Host Emma Grede
Shutterstock
Emma Grede
Her Handle: @emmagrede
Her Title: Entrepreneur and Podcast Host
Who's That It Girl: Emma Grede is CEO and co-founder of Good American, and founding partner of SKIMS. She's a podcast host and the first Black female investor on ABC's Shark Tank.

CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management Kia Brooks
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Kia Brooks
Her Handle: @kiajbrooks
Her Title: CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management
Who's That It Girl: Entrepreneur and mother, Kia J. Brooks leads TFNA Talent Agency, representing top athletes and creatives. She’s known for breaking barriers, negotiating record NIL deals, and empowering others to build generational wealth.

Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager Des Dickerson
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Des Dickerson
Her Handle: @itsurdestinee
Her Title: Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager and Media Strategist
Who's That It Girl: Des Dickerson is a sports and entertainment brand manager and media strategist who works with top athletes and entertainers to elevate their platforms. She is recognized for creating innovative partnerships and driving visibility in sports and entertainment.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I build opportunities for athletes and entertainers and I transform them into lasting influence."

President of Collective Edge Management Shayla Cowan
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Shayla Cowan
Her Handle: @shayla_pc
Her Title: President, Collective Edge Management
Who's That It Girl: Shayla Cowan is an award-winning producer and President of Collective Edge. She's produced blockbuster films including Girls Trip and Beast, championing boundary-pushing storytellers and innovative artistry in entertainment.

Co-Founder & CEO of Fearless Fund
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Arian Simone
Her Handle: @ariansimone
Her Title: Co-Founder & CEO, Fearless Fund
Who's That It Girl: Arian Simone champions women of color in venture capital. She advocates for economic justice, investing globally in women entrepreneurs and addressing funding disparities rooted in racism and sexism through resilient, purpose-driven leadership.

Founder of Global State of Women and Seed, Valeisha Butterfield
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Valeisha Butterfield
Her Handle: @valeisha
Her Title: Founder of Global State of Women and Seed
Who's That It Girl: Valeisha Butterfield Jones is a globally recognized leader in tech, entertainment, and politics. This year, she created the Global State of Women platform, providing emergency grants to women facing high unemployment rates.
Founder and Content Creator Ava PearlCourtesyAva Pearl
Her Handle: @avapearl
Her Title: Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Ava Pearl is the founder of Curly Culture and Curly Con LA, initiatives that champion natural hair and foster community within the beauty industry. As a beauty and lifestyle content creator, she is dedicated to creating impactful content that inspires authenticity, confidence, and self-expression.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m rooted in authenticity and rising with purpose."
Now that you've met the ladies about their business, see who else made our list. Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff






