
Y’all, there is one reason and one reason only why I decided to write about this. I mean, I do hair content fairly often, and so it tracks that I would tackle this topic at some point. However, my actual reason for pitching it is because if you happen to be a full-time naturalista like I am, when you’re trying to maintain your own hair’s curl texture and pattern, and you find yourself getting frustrated, it’s important to keep in mind that oftentimes you simply need to combat what oftentimes goes under the radar: FRIZZ.
Since summer is the time of year when the things that cause frizz to happen are very much in full effect, let’s dive into what causes frizzy hair, along with some super effective ways to combat it. That way, you can have fewer “bad hair days,” and you won’t have to rely on protective styles so much of the time (unless, of course, you want to).
What Causes the Annoyance of Frizz to Begin With?

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You know what’s a trip? Because I have finally mastered how to tame my own frizz, I get that a lot of times, whenever we, as Black women, get frustrated with our hair, we think it’s because of our coils when it’s really because frizz is jacking them up; once the frizzing is under control, suddenly all is right with the world.
How can I be so sure? It’s because of the fact that frizz is the reason why our hair cuticles end up not being smooth, and our hair strands end up looking all crazy while being hard to style. And what causes that drama to begin with? Humidity is definitely a top culprit; that’s because when there is moisture in the air, it can cause your cuticles to swell up (just for the record, washing your hair in super-hot water can lead to frizzing because it can cause humidity).
Know what else can cause frizz? Anything that dries out your hair, whether it’s heat styling tools, hair dye, or hair products that end up stripping your hair of the hydration that it needs. Why? Because your hair produces natural oils that help to keep your cuticles smooth, and when those oils are lost, that also can wreak some serious havoc on your cuticles and cause your hair to look frizzy instead of curly.
So, you know what this means, right? If you want to have less frizz and more of your natural curl definition, your hair needs more moisture, less heat, and as little hair manipulation (via styling) as possible. The following 10 things can help you out across the board.
1. Go with a Sulfate-Free Shampoo
Some people think that sulfate shampoo is the devil. I don’t. If you happen to be someone who uses a lot of product on your hair, at some point, you’re gonna need that type of hair cleansing product because it’s able to remove gunk from your tresses like nobody’s business. The key here is to not wash your hair with it all of the time because it really is a lot like detergent is to clothes. Also, definitely follow up with a deeply penetrating deep conditioner (to restore the moisture that was lost). You may also want to go without doing a protein treatment on the days when you use this type of shampoo.
Protein treatments are bomb; however, they tend to be “hard” on your hair enough without sulfates getting into the mix at the same time.
So yeah, outside of trying to clarify your hair, go with a shampoo that is sulfate-free. Something that I’m personally a big fan of is shampoo bars. Etsy has a lot of them that are made with all-natural ingredients. Just go to the site and put “shampoo bars” in the search field to see which ones will meet your hair (and scalp’s) personal needs.
2. Apply a Conditioning Hair Mask on Wash Days
Whenever I write hair articles for the platform, it’s rare when I don’t shout out the importance of deep conditioning; that’s because it’s one of the most effective ways to penetrate your hair shaft with lots of moisture that lasts longer than just a couple of days. What doesn’t get as much attention as it deserves is talking about hair masks.
Kind of look at them like how a mask works for your skin when you’re getting or giving yourself a facial — it’s an extra pampering step that can do your hair strands a ton of good. Hair masks can do everything from strengthening your hair and reducing damage to soften it and help to prevent frizz. Two other cool things about hair masks are they have a way of protecting your tresses from extreme weather conditions, and they can help to promote a healthier scalp as well.
There are plenty of hair mask options that you can buy. Or, if you’re someone who likes to go the DIY route, you can read up on some homemade recipes that you can try here, here, and here.
3. Use Your Fingers for Detangling/Styling As Much As Possible
When it comes to detangling or even styling your hair, be careful how much you comb and brush it. The main reason why is manipulating your locks too much can cause breakage and split ends, and that can cause your hair to frizz up. That’s why it’s always a good idea to use your hands during the detangling and styling process as much as possible. Oh, and when it comes to detangling, it’s imperative that you use a brush that was specifically designed to do just that. Check out The Strategist’s article, “This Kids’ Detangling Brush Cut My Hair Routine in Half,” for a few options to consider.
4. Dry Your Hair Gently

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If one of the things that you struggle with is having a pretty good curl definition when it comes to the middle and ends of your hair, yet not so much as far as your roots are concerned, a part of the reason may be due to how you dry your hair. For one thing, when you’re in the process of towel-drying your locks, the friction from a lot of them can definitely cause your hair frizzing. That’s why it’s always a wise move to go with a microfiber towel; it’s gentle on your hair, hella absorbent, and doesn’t require a lot of “cloth movement” in order for your hair to dry in a good amount of time.
Also, if you’re going to rock a blowout, always use a thermal protectant, go with a blow dryer that doesn’t tend to overheat, and try and let the blow dryer attachment (or your brush or comb) go with your hair’s cuticles in downward strokes (like what you see in this video here); that way, you’re not raising them unnecessarily.
5. Keep a Leave-In Conditioner Handy
Something that has definitely done wonders for my hair is applying a leave-in conditioner on my wash days and also to my ends (since they are the oldest parts of my hair) at night. Even though I do a deep conditioning practice every wash day, pretty much within about five days, my hair is out here looking for more moisture. Something that helps to replenish it is a leave-in conditioner.
I will apply it before my blowouts on my wash days (because I tend to blow out my hair and then keep it braided up to keep it stretched out until the next wash day), and then I will apply some to my ends about every other evening before bedtime. Yeah, definitely, if you want to keep your hair quenched and your ends from splitting, a leave-in conditioner is gonna help to make both of those things happen for you.
6. Try a Blend of Avocado and Sandalwood Oil for Dry Hair
While checking out a blog on things that cause hair to frizz up, something that was mentioned was electrostatic repulsion. Long story short, super dry hair apparently gives off a negative charge, and when the dry strands rub against each other, they can cause flyaways and what appears to look like a lot of frizz. Again, as someone whose hair can’t get enough moisture, I’m constantly on the quest to find things that will keep it hydrated, in part, to keep frizz from becoming an issue. One combo that works well is avocado oil and sandalwood oil.
Avocado oil is great for dry hair because it contains magnesium and biotin (to strengthen your hair), it has properties that will add sheen, it will help to define your curls, and it definitely reduces dryness (to your scalp included). Sandalwood is effective because not only does it help you to grow longer hair, but it also helps to keep your ends from drying out — and since, again, your ends are always going to be the oldest parts of your hair, that is definitely a win.
I like to mix two tablespoons of avocado with a few drops of sandalwood essential oil, heat it up, and apply it as a hot oil treatment on wash days from time to time. It's also pretty bomb if you want to use a small amount as a massage oil for your scalp; since avocado oil isn’t super greasy, you don’t have to worry a lot about residue or build-up.
7. Experiment with Moroccan Argan Oil to Smooth Your Cuticles
Argan oil is something that my hair has never really been able to gel very well with. I wish it did, though, because I am constantly seeing articles like Vogue’s “Why Argan Oil Is Considered 'The Liquid Gold' of Hair Care.” Aside from the fact that it’s loaded with vitamins D and E, argan oil contains anti-inflammatory properties and helps to treat dandruff and dry scalp (which aren’t the same thing; check out “Stop Scratching: The Differences Between Dandruff And Dry Scalp;” deeply hydrates; helps to increase elasticity, and it also reduces the chances of your hair developing split ends and breaking off — all of which play a solid role in keeping hair frizz at bay.
8. Honey Can Seal Your Hair Shaft

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I grew up with honey always being in the house, so it’s not like I’m not a fan. Oh, but when I found out that it’s the one food that never expires, it got my respect on a whole ‘nother level, chile. When it comes to your hair, specifically, honey is awesome because it contains properties that promote hair growth, reduce breakage, deeply condition, gently yet effectively cleanse your scalp, and add shine to it, too. Since honey is also a humectant, if your hair is naturally dry, it can keep moisture in your hair longer so that you can keep the curl definition in your hair from frizzing up on you.
One of the best ways to get the most out of honey is to mix a tablespoon (or two) of it with a half-cup of carrier oil like jojoba (it’s a hair strengthener), sweet almond (it’s a moisturizer that won’t leave much build-up) or argan (it’s filled with antioxidants). Zap it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds, apply it to clean and damp hair for 20-30 minutes; then thoroughly rinse with warm water followed by cool water (to seal your cuticles). You should actually notice an immediate difference in the quality of how your hair both looks and feels if you do.
9. Don’t Be Afraid of Hair Serums
Something that I didn’t get into until far too late (in my opinion) is hair serums. Because they tend to be such a polarizing topic, I always thought that they would harden my already naturally dry hair too much to give them a shot. What I have learned is that the key to hair serum success is to take the “less is more” and/or “a little bit goes a long way” approach to them.
When you do that, hair serums can be pretty wonderful for your hair because they contain ingredients that help to boost shine and add definition and, thanks to the silicone that’s in a lot of them, serums are also able to smooth out your cuticles so that you experience less frizz. If you’d like to experiment a bit with hair serums, check out Byrdie’s “The 12 Best Hair Serums That Yield Transformative Results” to see if any of those are able to pique your interest.
10. Keep Those Ends Trimmed
Bad ends are ultimately gonna ruin your hair shaft (because when they split, they don’t stop, they just keep moving upwards). If that isn’t enough of a reason to keep them trimmed, when your ends aren’t even, that’s another reason why your hair may look like it’s frizzing up. Bottom line here — keep your ends trimmed. No one is saying that every six weeks is a cardinal rule.
Just make sure to check your ends on your wash days and, if you notice that they look straggly, feel rougher than the rest of your hair or you have some split ones, at the very least, dust them (check out “Your Ends Are How You Get Length. 10 Things They Desperately Need.” for more on that.). The health of your hair will thank you. Your hair goals will thank you. Frizz will hate you — and that’s a good thing. LOL.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Whew. Did you know that somewhere around 122 million Americans travel during the holiday season? Listen, I went to see my godbabies this past September and got caught up in a crazy ass traffic jam at BNA (the Nashville airport) that damn near has me considering air travel ever again — especially during this time of the year.
Besides, it’s not like it’s a written rule that you have to travel over the holidays. In fact, if you want to play it chill this year, why not enjoy a staycation instead? Although it might seem like it’s a “poor man’s compromise,” as you’re about to see, it actually…isn’t.
1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
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