There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
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Whether you’re the social butterfly who identifies as the life of the party and personal group chat coordinator, or a visionary who is constantly leaning into the unconventional and experimental approach, Target has you covered to make your space the hotspot all semester long.
So if you’re the one who can work a room with your extroversion, and your roomie can express themselves through a bold personal vision, xoNecole and Target have everything you need for your new home away from home.
For The Social One:
Flower Round Decorative Throw Pillow Light Blue - Room Essentials™
Nothing screams decked-out dorm like a good throw pillow, and this one has quite the personality.
Printed Cheetah Ribbed Plush Throw neutral/pink - Room Essentials™
Nothing screams chic like a little print mixing! Take it to the next level and pair this with the flower decorative throw pillow to show your wild side.
Room Essentials™ Butterfly Chair Cream Faux Shearling
Dorm room decor is all about showcasing your personal style. And what better way to reflect that free-spirited aura than this unique item designed to glam up those otherwise basic dorm chairs?
Room Essentials™ Table Pink
Your room will be the gathering spot and the perfect place for a good game of Uno or Spades with a chic splash of color.
Room Essentials™ Succulent Multipack Plant Pink
Perfect for plant parents with busy college schedules, thank us later!
Brightroom™ 6-Cube Book Shelf White
Not only is this great for storing books, but it can also double as a TV stand. There’s even room to place a Gold Jewelry Organizer Tower, making this one of those things that are cute and functional!
For The Creative One:
Room Essentials™ Pedestal Table Chrome
Space might be limited in a dorm room, but that doesn’t mean you have to compromise on having a space to get away from your desk. This item can be used as space to get a break from homework, have a snack or write some late-night inspiration down in your Moleskine Notebook or Artist Sketchpad.
Room Essentials™ Storage Desk Lamp White
If your roomie is an early bird, this item will suit you both for the nights you have to pull an all-nighter to study for that big midterm exam.
Scalloped Lidded Box White - Room Essentials™
It’s all about optimizing space in your dorm room. Use this to store any of those miscellaneous items you don’t want on full display when you’re hosting guests.
Room Essentials™ 16 fl oz Drippy Glaze Mug Pink
Whether you’re a coffee lover, tea enthusiast, or somewhere in between, sip in style with this mug. Add the Keurig K-Mini Single-Serve K-Cup Pod Coffee Maker in your favorite color to your dorm wishlist to save on all those trips to the coffee shop!
Room Essentials™ Set of 3 Bamboo Melamine Trays Pink
Add a pop of color to your decor, and get creative, using it as storage for beauty must-haves like the Bubble Skincare Routine Kit or the Pacifica Dream Moon Rollerball Perfume.
Room Essentials™ Scallop Tray Pink
This storage unit is perfect for smaller items like jewelry from Wild Fable or for securing small items like your keys. It’s a standout item that’s versatile and functional.
Room Essentials™ Metal Acrylic Folding Chair Orange
Have extra seating for your guests that can be stored discreetly with this twist on the folding chair.
Room Essentials™ Trinket Tray Alarm Clock Pink
Never sleep through a class again with this alarm clock that can also hold your trinkets like cute rings from the Wild Fable collection at Target.
Room Essentials™ 4'x5'6" Back To College Solid Shag Accent Rug Pink
Greet your guests before saying a word by placing this rug at the door as they enter or use it to divide the room between you and your roommate.
Room Essentials™ Metal Framed Sling Accent Chair Off White
Who says you can’t have a reading nook in your dorm? When you need some quiet time, cuddle up with a good book, or knock out the required readings for class in this cozy seat.
Featured image courtesy
Why? Well, since compatibility, by definition, is about determining if you can exist in harmony with someone else, if you can consistently get along with them and if the two of you are like-minded, can cooperate well with one another and can be sympathetic, adaptable and are good at being able to reconcile your differences — before you and another person make the decision to become exclusive (check out “Why I Use The Word 'Monogamous' In Marriage And 'Exclusive' In Dating”), I just think it’s a wise move to be hypervigilant about figuring out what being compatible truly looks and acts like.
Because, hear me when I say that, I have worked with many married couples who love each other, even like each other — problem is, no one really broke down to them what it means to be truly compatible with one another…and that is why they are going through so much stress and/or drama now (check out “Relationships Shouldn't Be 'Hard Work.' They Should Be Maintenance.”).
So, let’s try to prevent you from experiencing the same kind of relational challenges, okay? If you are currently seeing someone, it looks like it could head somewhere lasting, and yet you’re not feeling completely at peace about it all, and you’re not quite sure why — ask yourself if it’s because you’re sensing that the two of you are not as compatible as you actually should be.
Oh, and if you’re looking for some indications of what that means, I’ve got six signs of true relational incompatibility for you to check out right here.
6 Signs You And Your Partner Aren’t Truly Compatible
1. You Don’t Respect Each Other’s Purpose
GiphyI grew up in an entertainment industry household. I also got my start as a professional writer in the entertainment industry. And so, it’s just kind of played out that around sixty percent of my friendships consist of people who make a living in that space. Building on this, it’s also fairly common for me to either counsel someone through or hear about an individual who is going through relationship issues and it’s all because the person they are seeing doesn’t respect what they do in the field.
It might be because they don’t really understand it (like it’s common for folks to think that entertainment industry people just “party all of the time” when networking is just that — WORK). It might be because they can’t get with the financial “feast or famine” seasons that tend to come with the gig. It might be that they are dismissive of the sacrifices that are required, or they don’t see those sacrifices as being connected to “real work.”
Whatever the case may be, marrying someone who has these kinds of attitudes about your passion is going to be frustrating, to say the least, even on the best day.
And y’all, this applies across the board. If you know what your purpose in life is, you can’t ever abandon it because, again, by definition, that’s what you were put on this planet to do. And this means that whoever you decide to “do life” with, they need to respect your purpose/calling/craft so much that they are all for helping you to flourish in it instead of being a hindrance within it. That said, if you’re seeing someone right now and you’re already noticing signs that being a solid support system for you isn’t the case (or that you aren’t being that for him) — please don’t ignore that. Purpose doesn’t just “go away;” it’s a part of your very being.
Besides, even if you do find a way to get him to put his purpose aside for the sake of making more money or keeping the peace in y’all’s relationship, all that’s going to do is lead to him deeply resenting you on some level (whether it’s immediately or eventually)…and that will still leave you miserable in the long run.
A purpose supporter — and even better, someone who has talents, skills and a personality that actually complement one’s purpose — that should be a non-negotiable. Period.
2. You Don’t Embrace One Another’s Individuality
GiphyI don’t know why so many people try to turn their relationship into their own personal science project. Wait, yes I do — it’s because many folks out here are complete control freaks, sometimes without even noticing or realizing it. An example of this is when you are dating someone and yet, it seems like at least 40 percent of the time, you are trying to change who they are: you want them to look different, think different, have different hobbies, see the world in a different way, prioritize things differently — at the end of the day, what you really want is a Build-A-Bear, not the man himself.
And you know what? Not only is this highly manipulative (not to mention completely draining), it is also causing you to not be an emotionally safe person to be around. I say that because, as I mentioned in the article, “The Right Relationship IMPROVES Not CHANGES You”, although the right relationship should refine you, mature you and cause you to become a better version of yourself, what it shouldn’t do is cause you to become a completely different person altogether.
I know people in relationships who try to pressure their partner to change their career, their faith, their style, their friendships, how they spend their leisure time — you name it. And in my mind (and sometimes even out of my mouth), I’m like, “If you’re trying to turn them into someone else, why are you even with them at all?”
Personally, I think this irks me so much because, for instance, while I’ve dated guys who have tried to change how I dress, I’ve also dated ones who find my approach to fashion to be completely dope. Guess which ones were a breath of fresh air to be around? Sure, the latter would sometimes give me things to accentuate my look; however, they never tried to shift my style into something else.
I believe I’ve shared before that when I used to have a blog where married people shared their favorite things about their spouse, one husband said (about a woman who didn’t have a Coke bottle figure, by the way), “I love that when God created her, he had me in mind.” THAT, that right there, is what it means to be with someone who embraces your individuality. And a person who does that, they are displaying a huge example of what it means to be with someone who is compatible with you.
3. Your Value Systems Are Completely Different
GiphyI’ll tell you what — sometimes I will listen to married couples and when I see that there is such a shaky foundation that they are trying to build upon, I ask them if they went to premarital counseling. If they say “yes,” I immediately want to sue the people who they spoke with my damn self because, clearly, they sucked at their job. Listen, I don’t care how fine someone is, how much chemistry exists between the two of you or how much they make you climb the walls in the bedroom, if you want something to truly go the distance, you need to make sure that your value systems are aligned.
A good example of this is, I have a friend right now who is, let’s go with the word “unraveling” from someone because, although everything that I just said is the case between her and this particular guy, they don’t see religion or family dynamics the same way and he’s not the most encouraging when it comes to her career either. And so, while it’s been fun for them to date, whenever they talk about actually settling down and doing life together, they realize that things are far more complex. It’s because their value systems are not the same.
And listen, although things like trust, respect and loyalty are examples of values that two people should share in their relational dynamic, it’s also important to discuss if you both — want to get married (or not); have kids (or not); have similar goals and aspirations; have traditional role expectations in your relationship (or not); see spirituality/religion from the same perspective; prioritize health and finances in the same way; have similar boundaries when it comes to dealing with family members and friends…heck, even do holidays in the same way (you’d be amazed how something that small can ultimately turn into something very big).
Recently, I was talking to a client who said that, although she is a diehard Christian, the man she is seeing is basically agnostic. Meanwhile, she is so into him that she refuses to acknowledge how potentially problematic that is; especially since they want children one day. Geeze, just imagine how much easier it would have been for her to prioritize her value system if she had discussed these types of things on date 4 or 5 instead of waiting until she’s two years into her relationship.
Remember that to be compatible is to be like-minded. Figuring out what you are and aren’t like-minded about, as soon as possible, is a wise thing to do. No wiggle room on that.
4. You Don’t Prioritize (or Even See) Intimacy the Same Way
GiphySexual incompatibility is a very real thing (check out “6 Tips For Dealing With A Sexually Incompatible Spouse”) and, sadly, it’s something that many people think that they can just shrug off or ignore. NOPE. That said, something else that can’t be said enough? If we’re going to be real, one of the main things that makes a romantic relationship different from all of the others is sexual intimacy — and so yes, you need to be super compatible in this area too.
And this means that you both need to be open and honest about:
- If you have similar sex drives and, if not, how you plan to manage that
- If you are willing to meet each other’s sexual needs
- If you see the purpose of sexual intimacy in a similar fashion
- Each other’s sexual wants and fantasies (which are different from needs) to see if you are open to exploring them as a couple
- How you feel about oral sex, morning sex, maintenance sex, make-up sex and dirty talk (you’d be amazed how much these come up in sessions)
- How often you want sex — and where you are willing to compromise when it comes to it
- What your beliefs are concerning sex (from a religious and relational standpoint)
- If there are deal-breakers when it comes to sex — and if so, what are they?
- If there are sexual hang-ups (or trauma) that have been oppressed that need to be addressed
- How important sex is to you both — and are you both committed to prioritizing it as such
Back when I was walking a journey with a guy, he said something that I found to be quite interesting. He admitted that because he had never seen a professional for some childhood sexual trauma that he had experienced as a child, he found my openness about sex to be somewhat uncomfortable for him. Not because he thought it was wrong — it was more like, since sex wasn’t as important to him as it was to me, he didn’t think we would be compatible in that way.
And listen, we never even kissed and yet, he was exactly right. If just how I talk about sex “caused him for pause,” we definitely were gonna have issues once it was time to actually do what I was articulating.
It is my personal opinion that so many people are so selfish-minded when they come to sex that, when they get into a relationship where another person’s intimacy needs come into play, sometimes they don’t know how to handle them (or they try to make their partner feel guilty for seeing sex differently than they do). That’s gaslighting as well because, if you expect someone to be with you only, this means that you need to be open to compromise when it comes to what they need, sexually, in order to be exclusive (if dating) or monogamous (if married) with them.
5. You Can’t Totally Be Your TOTAL Self with Each Other
GiphyWanna know one of the main things that couples (and I’m gonna be real, it’s mostly men) bring up to me when it comes to why they aren’t feeling fulfilled in their relationship? It’s because they are tired of constantly having to walk on eggshells or feeling like they have to hide their authentic selves from their partner. Yeah, if you’re creating this type of atmosphere with your partner (or they are doing it towards you), this is actually a form of abuse: psychological abuse, to be exact.
That reminds me: a movie that I recently watched that addresses this oh so very well is currently on — yep, you guessed it — Tubi. It’s called Alice, Darling and to watch the main character damn near give herself a nervous breakdown (while almost ruining two of her closest friendships), all because her partner was trying to make her be exactly what he wanted instead of being the safe space for her to be her truest self? You almost felt like she was pulling out your own hair at the roots while she was tearing out her own as a way to deal with the anxiety that came with it all.
While doing a podcast interview not too long ago, someone asked me why I sometimes still talk about my fiancé, who died 30 years ago this fall, like it just happened yesterday. Hmph. You can read what I penned about my mother recently passing and even ask my friends how I process death, in general, to get that it’s not that I don’t face grief head-on or that I’m in denial about how the transition of death impacts us all. It’s mostly because he was my first experience of really being, not just loved for who I was — flaws and all — but celebrated too.
Yes, he challenged me. Yes, he held me accountable. No, he didn’t coddle my nonsense. Oh, but when I tell you that he basically threw emotional pep rallies for me, on a consistent basis, so that I could feel like it was totally okay to be just who I was without any editing or subtext in his actions towards me? He was masterful at that.
And everyone deserves to be loved that way. You need to be ALL of who you are with him and he needs to be ALL of who he is with you. If one or both of you aren’t doing this, some incompatibility issues are probably being ignored. It’s time to address them…NOW.6. You Don’t BALANCE Each Other Out
GiphyDefinitely, one of my favorite quotes is, "If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary." A competitive car driver by the name of Larry Dixon is credited with saying it and he’s right. And that’s why I’m all about promoting that masculinity and femininity aren’t supposed to be the same (ego says otherwise) — they are actually supposed to come together to work in harmony (which, remember, is another definition of compatibility) in order to cultivate balance, so that both people can flourish.
Balance. Balance means you’re not on an emotional roller coaster with each other half of the time. Balance means that you accept that your differences can make you both better people. Balance means that, more times than not, your relationship is not experiencing extreme highs or lows — that you two are more about doing what makes you both feel even, comfortable and content.
Balance means that you both honor each other, respect each other, support each other, nurture each other and make time for one another, so that there is reciprocity in your dynamic. Balance is where maturity dwells.
And so, yes, I am going to round out this article by encouraging you to really ponder if there is balance in your relationship with your guy. Because if things feel “off balance,” something is definitely awry — and if you don’t address it, it typically will only get worse over time. Several of my clients can certainly vouch for that.
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I once read a quote that said, “While intense chemistry can be an exciting and powerful feeling, it is important to recognize that it does not always indicate compatibility.” I haven’t found the author of this saying yet, when it comes to today’s topic, truer words cannot be spoken.
In a world — and life — that comes with so much uncertainty, if there is one place where you should feel safe and secure, it’s your relationship…and something that is a foundational tool to make that a reality for you is compatibility.
Wanna have peace in your relational dynamic? Make sure the two of you are compatible.
It’s a super wise and hella proactive thing to do.
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Featured image by PeopleImages.com - Yuri A/Shutterstock