10 Things That Truly Confident People Do
"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it."—J. M. Barrie
Question: If someone were to walk up to you right at this very moment and ask you what the word "confident" meant, what would you say? Would you say something along the lines of it means to love yourself? Would you associate it with being a positive person? Or maybe a fearless one? Personally, I think those are some of the results of confidence, but the best way to describe it is you are sure of yourself.
It sounds simple enough, right? Maybe simple but definitely not easy. If you're sure of yourself, it means that you don't doubt yourself. If you're sure of yourself, it also means that you're confident, reliable and stable ("stable" is a big one). If you're sure of yourself, more times than not, you move with accuracy and precision, without hesitation or uncertainty. You're also intentional about making decisions that will not bring harm or danger to you or others.
Like I said, confident isn't the easiest thing on the planet to be but man, once you're able to master it, you are literally able to rock this world, in the most profound and powerful ways possible.
Are you ready to learn how to be (more) confident? Here are 10 examples of how confident people live their lives each and every day.
10 Signs Of Truly Confident People
1. Confident People Make Bold Moves
I dig words. "Bold" is one of my favorite ones. Bold people speak their mind. Bold people take risks. Bold people step up to challenges. Bold people don't hesitate to do what is best for them. Bold people define success on their own terms. Bold people don't let their past, their flaws or even their issues stop them. Bold people make history.
To tell you the truth, not everyone likes a bold person. They can come off abrasive and even pushy, at times. But that's the cool thing about them. Most of the time, they're too busy walking in their boldness as they're on their way to greatness to notice or care what other people think.
2. Confident People Can Take Criticism
On the heels of the first point, this doesn't mean that confident people are arrogant or narcissistic. Trust me, over these past few months, I've done more research on narcissism than I ever thought I would (The Royal We is a great YouTube channel on the topic). What I've come to the conclusion of is arrogance and narcissism are false (and toxic) imitations of confidence. The reason why I say that is because if you can't ever be told about yourself, if you can't receive things that you need to hear in order to mature and grow, you are being the mere opposite of confidence.
People who are truly secure in themselves are constantly wanting to evolve, including when it comes to their character. If that requires hearing some hard things about their faults and flaws, so be it. They can take it because they know it will only make them better individuals in the long run.
3. Confident People Are Able to Control Their Emotions
Pop offs. People with tunnel vision. Individuals who constantly react to their triggers. Negative folks. People who stew in their feelings. Something that all of these folks have in common is they usually don't know how to control their emotions. Contrary to what a lot of people think, while sometimes we can't control how we feel, what we can do is control how we respond and react as the direct result of those feelings.
Confident people have the ability to think past the moment they are in. Not only that but they like the sense of stability; this includes emotional stability. So, rather than always letting their feelings dictate what they should or shouldn't do, they prefer to think matters through, apply common sense and woosah themselves off of the ledge of a potential poor decision instead.
At the end of the day, for a confident person, their peace of mind is more important than emotionally reacting (or overreacting) to everyone and everything all of the time.
4. Confident People Like Affirmations. Dislike Gossip.
I'm not sure social media would exist (at least at the level that it does) and I definitely know celebrity blogs wouldn't if we all didn't have even a little bit of interest in gossip. However, confident people can only take so much of it, whether it's true or not (because gossip isn't always salacious; sometimes it's just info that is absolutely none of our business). One reason is because they don't like to hear a lot of negativity. Another reason is because, whenever they do catch wind of some, they are typically thinking, "I could be doing a lot of other things rather than listening to this information that's not gonna change my life one way or another."
Affirmations, on the other hand, they're all about those. That's because it's all about making people feel better, lifting them higher and putting good energy into the universe. Yep, you will hear confident people do more affirming than gossiping, more times than not. You can bet on that.
5. Confident People Don't Need Everyone to Like (or Get) What They're Doing
My friends know that I don't give the "don't judge me" stance much energy. Any time I hear someone say that, I think about back when I used to be a judge for the Titans cheerleader competitions back in the day. The only women who had a problem with the judges' "judgment" were the ones who lost.
And you know what? The main people who don't like judgment, in the general sense, are those who get mad when someone doesn't like what they are doing. Like if they wear an outfit and someone tells them how dope they look, they don't mind that judgment. But let someone tell them that they look a hot mess and suddenly, they don't want to be judged.
Confident folks? You can like or not like what they wear, say or do. They aren't doing it for the applause or approval of others, so it doesn't shake them one way or another. When you can function without a pep rally or parade, pat yourself on the back. You've got quite a bit of confidence, whether you realize it or not.
6. Confident People Are Unapologetic About Their Boundaries
Not too long ago, I was telling someone that if you set a boundary and someone asks you to explain—which is really more like justify—it, that's a clear sign that they already don't respect it.
Boundaries don't require an explanation. If you want to give one, that's a courtesy—no more, no less.
That said, sometimes confident individuals can come off as cocky because they'll say "no" to something without elaborating or compromising. But the truth of the matter is, they are simply honoring their own limits. If you just read that and totally got it, you're probably a confident person. But if you read that and felt some type of way, confidence, at least in this particular area, is probably something you could stand to work on.
7. Confident People Are Genuinely Happy for People's Progress
A wise man once said, "Envy is about counting someone else's blessings instead of your own." Confident people don't know anything about this because they understand that someone else's wins do not prevent them from having some as well, even if they are a different kind and come in a different season.
One of my closest friends models this to me very well. Once upon a time, Rissi was a really well-known Black country musician; now she's a soul artist and activist in her own right (check out her "Seeds" video sometime; it's dope!). Whenever she hears of other Black country artists rising (like Jimmie Allen; he's cool people, so I had to shout him out!) or anyone in general doing their thing, she is the first to clap and get excited for them. No backhanded compliments. No comparing. None of that. Just sheer joy.
Only truly confident people can put out the kind of energy that has a non-compete clause. For real, for real.
8. Confident People Can (and Do) Admit When They Are Wrong
It takes a very insecure person to know they are wrong and still try and find ways to sidestep or deflect from that very fact. Folks who think that they are always right or somehow think that making mistakes and acknowledging them is a sign of weakness? They are people who have a very low level of confidence.
Confidence isn't about being perfect or having all of the answers. Confidence is about having such a strong sense of self that, even when you mess up, you're strong enough to admit that, right your wrongs and try again. You see errors also as a sign of growth; especially when you are able to learn from them. And since confident people are all about growth…there you go.
9. Confident People Hate Stagnation
Remember how I said that confidence is about being sure of yourself? When you're in that kind of head and heart space, failure doesn't scare you. And because it doesn't, you are totally open to taking risks, trying new things and being a trailblazer rather than a follower. In fact, you'd rather fail miserably and know that you tried than stick to a formula or routine just so you won't have to step outside of your comfort zone.
Stagnation can be a really ugly word because it's hard to thrive, personally or professionally, when you're not developing or evolving. Confident people know this. That's why they are always taking steps forward. Small or big doesn't matter to them. Just so long as they do it.
10. Confident People Celebrate Themselves
Something else that's super cool about confident people is that they don't wait for other people to acknowledge them. If they know that they went above and beyond with a project at work, they take their own selves out for a drink. If no one else remembers their birthday, that's fine because they had a spa day planned weeks ahead of schedule. If they set a goal and reach it, you may or may not see them talk about it on social media. They are too focused on what's next to do a ton of bragging.
If you're someone who is in the habit of celebrating yourself, I commend you! It means that you're so in the habit of praising yourself that if it comes from any other source, that's merely a bonus. And having that kind of confidence? You have no idea just how far it will take you in life. Bravo!
Want more stories like this? Check out the xoNecole reads below:
How To Tap Into Your Inner Confidence As An Introvert - Read More
Say These Self-Affirmations To Start Your Day On The Right Note - Read More
15 Affirmations To Inspire A Happier, More Fulfilled Life - Read More
Featured image by Getty Images
- 15 Things Highly Confident People Don't Do ›
- 3 Daily Habits of Confident People - YouTube ›
- Six Habits Of Confident People ›
- 13 Action-Habits of Highly Self-Confident People | Psychology Today ›
- 15 Habits Of Highly Confident People | Care2 Healthy Living ›
- The 7 Thought-Habits of Highly Self-Confident People | Psychology ... ›
- 11 Self-Confidence Habits: Transform your Confidence ›
- 15 Habits of Highly Confident People - Weidel on Winning ›
- 10 Habits of the Most Confident People | Inc.com ›
- 12 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorney and a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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