Before I settled into the lane of (mostly) sex and relationships writing, I was an entertainment journalist; this meant that I sharpened my teeth, quite a bit, in the interviewing lane — which meant that I’ve encountered quite a few different personalities over the years. And even though it’s been almost three decades of me doing that (off and on), in just a 50-minute conversation that I recently had, I found someone who has easily entered into my Top 10 of all-time favorite people to professionally explore. Easily.
Even if you don’t know her name, I’m willing to bet my next three writing checks that you’ve seen her before because if someone is good for going viral out herein these TikTok streets, it’s Christiana Sabino.
Since I also do a good amount of health and beauty writing, I know what filters can do. For her, they need not apply; she is the epitome of natural beauty. Yet and still, when she popped up on that video screen, she almost took my own damn breath away because stunning? That doesn’t even begin to cut it. In fact, I’m still trying to find an adjective that truly does her justice.
At really-close-to-30, Christina is as feminine as she is gorgeous, as humble as she is wise, as traditional (valued) as she is professionally savvy — and all of these reasons and more (especially once her husband joined in) are why I just knew I had to meet her, pick her brain and provide you all with some inspiration to do what she’s doing in your own signature way: let love and your purpose totally expand your life.
First, the Answers to Some Questions You’ve Probably Always Wanted to Know
Listen, if you don’t recognize Christiana, you either don’t do social media (pretty much at all) or you need to get your eyes checked. I say that because, if there’s one person who is gonna post a video of preparing meals to songs that I’m impressed she’s such a fan of (since she’s still in her 20s) while in some of the most radiant outfits alongside her man who you can tell truly adores her and she’s gonna get a million hits, damn near every single time, it’s her — almost seamlessly so.
“It’s what I know,” says Christiana with a soft-spoken delivery yet very clear demeanor. “I come from a two-parent home [as does her husband,Arismarlyn Sabino] and the way that I am on the videos is how I was raised.”
I could tell that she was Eastern-cultured from the first time I saw her content. I did a bit of digging and discovered that she was Liberian. Her husband? He’s from the Dominican Republic. They met in college in New York City and both have degrees. Christiana’s lane is nutrition (which makes all of the sense in the world if you’re a follower of her stuff) while Arismarlyn (who goes by Aris and is 28) is an architect. They’ve been together for seven years total, married for one year (their first anniversary is in June) and they currently live in Texas.
One more thing: althoughChristiana’s Instagram page simply says that she is a “blogger” that is the ultimate understatement. She has a cookbook (more on that in a bit). She owns a skin and hair care line calledGoddess Gleam. She is a huge fan of and consistently displays lifestyle content — from fitness and fashion to travel and home — and she’s passionate about her partnership with the green hair care company Amika.
“My brand is based on my own standards,” Christiana explains. “Everything that people see are things that I love — especially Black love.”
Ain’t nothin’ better than Black love, y’all. I just had to know more.
"My brand is based on my own standards. Everything that people see are things that I love — especially Black love."
Christiana’s Own Standards Brought Her to the Love That She’s Always Desired
Since I’m also a married life coach (and have been for almost 20 years now), I can discern pretty easily what genuine and healthy love looks like. Christiana and Aris? They are the real deal, y’all. Still, Christiana admits that there were a few frogs who came along before her prince (who actually carries himself more like a gentle and loving Black king) did.
“When I first came here and started to date, it was weird,” Christiana says with a light laugh. “I wasn’t used to people who didn’t date to marry and that’s all I wanted to do. I’m really family-oriented, so I was looking for a man who would be a good father and then a good husband — in that order because what you show as a father will let me know you’re a good husband potential.”
"When I first came here and started to date, it was weird. I wasn't used to people who didn't date to marry and that's all I wanted to do."
It wasn’t too long after trying her hand at dating in the States that she was blessed to meet Aris — a man who Christiana describes as responsible, hard-working, someone she loves to learn from, and who is beyond thoughtful and kind. A man who was more than happy and willing to discuss what they both were looking for in a relationship just three weeks into them dating each other. Yeah, Christiana definitely beams whenever she speaks of Aris; she’s so proud to be with him that it was actually not until halfway through the interview that I knew his name wasn’t “my husband.”
“My husband is so present and consistent,” Christiana shares. “He writes books. He actually designed my cookbook and gifted it to me on my birthday. I didn’t even know that he was going to do that but he compiled my recipes without my noticing and presented them to me. That’s the kind of man my husband is.”
"We definitely complement each other. I love every part of him."
I totally believe her because, although I don’t recall which post it was (Christiana posts quite a bit), I do remember her saying sometime last year that Aris was “retiring her,” so that she could do brand-building and content-creating full-time.
“We definitely complement each other,” Christiana explains. “I love every part of him.”
Which explains why, even though both Christiana and Aris say that they come from traditional homes, they went a bit against the grain by dating for a couple of years and then intentionally living together for one before getting engaged and later married.
“One of my uncles calls me ‘the black sheep’ of the family because that’s not how things are usually done with us,” Christiana admits. “I was intentional. I wanted us to be our most vulnerable [selves] and really know each other before marriage. I also wanted to grow with my partner [over time]…I think that’s why going from engaged to married hasn’t been much different; we had already learned so much about each other before.”
"I was intentional. I wanted us to be our most vulnerable and really know each other before marriage."
Christiana will say that although she is very comfortable doing things her own way when it comes to her wedding, she and Aris acquiesced to their families because, if it had been solely up to her and her now-husband, they would’ve eloped and had a ceremony later. Yet there are no regrets — when it comes to living with Aris first or having a ceremony to please their loved ones.
And now that they are about to hit their first official year as newlyweds, what is it like blending pretty much everything together? That’s when Aris, who was quietly sitting off-camera the entire time, was then asked to join the chat. I’m so happy that he did.
When a Man Loves a Woman, Y’all
Christiana is beautiful. Aris is handsome. They are a great-looking couple. Still, if Christiana has me low-key geeking over her looks, we all know thatmen must be up in the comments trippin’ hard. It doesn’t phase Aris; not one bit.
“She is beautiful and it’s the internet,” Aris says very calmly and gently. “As long as people don’t make her uncomfortable and everyone keeps their hands to themselves…she knows that I would die for her; that I would protect her. [Christiana is] my responsibility. We’ve been through too much together to worry about people we don’t know online.”
As I asked Aris to expound on what gives him the level of confidence that he has as he “shares” his wife with the world, he said, “We share some of our lives online but not all of it. And my wife is so reasonable, nurturing and she listens to understand. I think because we feel so safe with each other, it’s hard to feel worried about other people. Also, I don’t want her to feel forced to be with me. I always want to be her choice. That’s also why commenters don’t matter.”
Although both Aris and Christiana agree that no relationship is perfect, as I watched their energy exchange between each other (he looks at her so lovingly and she can’t keep her hands off of some part of him), I totally believed Christiana when she said that their “relationship struggle phase” was no more than a week. Once they realized that it was nothing more than a “butting of egos” (their words), they both looked at each other and said, “What are we doing?” and decided to not attempt one of those types of weeks again.
“When you work with your partner, you’ve got to put your pride aside,” Aris says. “You’ve got to really listen to each other, trust in each other, and give each other patience and grace.”
“My husband is huge on communication,” Christiana adds. “I’ve learned a lot about how to communicate better because of him. I listen more and now we’re at a point where we can read each other, we can answer each other’s questions. He’s my best friend and I trust him because I know that he has my best interest.”
When I asked if there are ever times when it’s hard for them to “get off of the clock” so to speak since so much of their professional and personal lives are intertwined, Christiana said, “He’s not a content creator, I am. My husband does a lot behind the scenes but we put our relationship first. Nothing is going to come before that.”
Christiana went on to share that even with as popular as her brand is becoming, it’s clear that there is a theme. Lifestyle and healthy living, yes — however, Black love and legacy are at the helm.
“My husband — I love every part of him. I prove my love by how I treat him. I’ve learned his needs and I meet them. He does the same. What I share online is a just a piece of what it’s like for us to be together. It’s a part of my culture. It’s a part of my relationship. It’s who I am.”
With (currently) over three million followers on TikTok and close to 675,000 followers on Instagram — how wonderful is it to know that so many people tune in, pretty much daily, to share in and celebrate all that Christiana holds dear. Black love, y’all, most of all.
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You can follow Christiana on TikTok at kristiline_ _ and on Instagram @kristline_. Make sure to pick up one of her cookbooks too:Mama's Cookbook Volume 1,Mama’s Cookbook Volume 2and others that are special editions or available for pre-order here.
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Featured image by mr.peprah on Instagram
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While we're out here wondering what's wrong with us, the reality is it could be the opposite; it could be that something very right is happening within. Our entire being is alerting us to the fact that what once was working for us (or at least we thought was working) for us, it no longer is. And so, it is time to take some semi-drastic measures in order to get to what's next.
Sometimes we fight change so much, that we try and talk ourselves out of what our mind, body, and spirit are trying to tell us. As a direct result, we're not quite sure if it's truly time to make a move or not. But as we're all moving full speed ahead into the year, here are some clear-as-day indications that changing your life is exactly what needs to go down. Sooner than later, by the way.
You’re Bored Out of Your Mind
If there is one feeling that I think gets pushed back down into our psyche far too often, it's boredom. I don't know where we get the idea that if we're bored, somehow that is being silly, petty, or childish. Personally, I think it is one of the greatest indications that some major shifting needs to transpire. After all, when you're bored, it means that you are weary. Weary of what? The literal definitions include "tedious repetitions" and "unwanted attention."
That's why I totally get quotes like the one from the French writer Émile Zola— "I would rather die of passion than of boredom." It's a reminder that life is too short to be out here doing the same ole' same ole'…just because. I also like this quote by author Saul Bellow— "Boredom is the conviction that you can't change ... the shriek of unused capacities."
If you're out here hating your job because it feels like you're doing nothing but watching the clock and collecting a check, if you are a homebody because your city feels totally uninspired, if you are remaining in a relationship simply so you won't be alone and nothing more—all of these things point to boredom. All of these are blaring signs that something definitely needs to change.
Everything Seems to “Cramp Your Style”
There is someone in my world who honestly lives "bigger" than anyone else I know. They are constantly traveling. They are always doing something innovative. Since knowing them, I don't think there has been one year when they've done the same thing, the same way. I've asked them about it before. What they've told me is that while they are not the true definition of claustrophobic, whenever they feel "cramped" by a job or relationship or even within themselves, they take that as a sign that they need to do something different—or differently.
For the most part, I like that way of thinking because to cramp something (or someone) is "to confine narrowly; restrict; restrain; hamper." And that makes me think of the Alice Walker quote, "No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow." Amen.
While it should go on record that sometimes there's a fine line between your style being cramped and you trying to avoid responsibility (for instance, the routine that comes from being a spouse and/or parent isn't "restricting" you; it's holding you accountable), if something or someone does have you feeling restrained in the sense of being held back, don't ignore that signal.
Ask yourself what could be lying beneath the surface of that emotion because, believe you me, anything or anyone that is good for you is going to propel you, not stifle you.
You’re Restless—When You’re Awake and Asleep
Me? I feel like I am constantly metamorphosizing, one way or another. I always know that it's time to make some sort of transition whenever I feel restless; for me, that's typically at nighttime. Although I usually am able to fall asleep easily, I do have seasons when I will wake up, at the same time, for a couple of weeks or so. Medical professionals say that potentially points to needing to alter one's sleep patterns, someone experiencing hormonal shifts, or an individual going through a bout of anxiety or depression. But according to studies in traditional Chinese medicine, it could have something to do with your energy fields.
I read a cool article that said, if you have trouble sleeping between 9 p.m.-11 p.m., it could mean that you're worried or stressed out. If you keep waking up between 11 p.m.-1 a.m., it means that you are going through some sort of emotional disappointment. 1 a.m.-3 a.m. indicates internalized anger; 3 a.m.-5 a.m. is connected to repressed sadness and if it's between 5 a.m.-7 a.m., there are internal blockages of some sort. Something else that I like about the read is it provides tips on what you can do to shift the energy so that you can get a good night's rest again.
But what I think we all can agree on is if you're not able to rest well, some sort of changes need to be made—for the sake of your health, well-being, and peace of mind.
Your Gifts and Talents Are Lying Dormant
One of my favorite Scriptures is "For God's gifts and His call are irrevocable. [He never withdraws them when once they are given, and He does not change His mind about those to whom He gives His grace or to whom He sends His call.]" (Romans 11:29—AMPC) It is such an awesome reminder that, what the Most High put us here to do, that doesn't change. Unfortunately, a lot of people end up on their deathbed, never really tapping into their fullest potential because figuring out what their gifts and talents are was never a top priority. Paying bills. Finding love. Having kids. Other stuff is what took precedence.
But I'm telling you, you are doing yourself, your Creator, and the world at large a huge disservice if you don't put aside some real time to discover—and then feed into—your gifts and talents.
If you're not really sure what your gifts or talents are, start the journey of figuring it out by doing some journaling. Write down things like what excites you; what your strengths are; what came easy to you in high school and college; what you would totally do for free; and what you would spend your time on if you were independently wealthy. When you see what comes up on that sheet of paper, you should feel a few sparks fly. (Also, if you're a Christian, take a spiritual gifts test; it can reveal a lot about you too).
Since our gifts are irrevocable, they haven't gone anywhere just because we aren't using them. They are simply dormant. But if you feel something tugging at you, it could very well be that very gift or talent that could totally change your life, for the better—the very moment that you decide to stop ignoring it and begin nurturing it instead.
You Keep Pushing Down a Crazy Idea
I am very open about the fact that I'm a huge fan of Hebrew culture. So much in fact that I don't observe January 1 as being the New Year. I celebrate Rosh Hashanah instead; it just happened this past September 29-October 1. The reason why I'm bringing this up is because newness is all about perception. You don't have to wait until four months from now to try something that has been pulling and tugging away at your spirit. Hmph. Let me tell it, if you've got an idea and you keep telling yourself, "I'll do something about it next year", that has little to do with making a resolution and more to do with full-on, straight-up, absolute bona fide procrastination.
And what if you are waiting because the brainstorm that you have sounds totally crazy? First, trust me—live long enough and you learn to accept crazy is relative. And second, it's probably time to adapt a quote by an author named Jennifer Elisabeth— "Don't worry if people think you're crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they're destined to be."
For the most part, I like "crazy" ideas. It usually means that it's truly original and creative. When you don't have anything to compare what you're thinking about to, you are on the way to being a trailblazer rather than following someone else's blueprint. And when you stop to really let that sink in, how freakin' cool and amazin' is that?!
Life is too short and meaningful to be second-guessing yourself, simply because a concept comes to mind that you can't compare to anything (or one) else. By stepping out on a crazy idea, not only could it totally change your life for the better, it also may be what someone around you needs to see in order to manifest their own brand of "crazy" too. Doing crazy stuff can inspire others. Let that be your motivation if nothing else.
Your Needs Are Met. But Still, You’re Not Satisfied.
One more. Do you ever have moments when you're asking yourself, "What's wrong with me? I've got a good job, a nice home and really nothing to complain about. But still, something is…off"? You might try and "talk yourself down" by saying that you're just being "extra" or ungrateful. Maybe. Or it could be that your mind is alerting you to the fact that just because your needs are being met, that doesn't mean that there isn't more to life than that. It doesn't mean that there is some part of you—if not all of you—that simply isn't satisfied.
One of the things to always keep in mind when it comes to the definitions of "satisfy" is that one of them means "to fulfill the desires of." If you're currently not satisfied, some desire within you isn't being fulfilled. You shouldn't feel bad or guilty about that; you should figure out what that desire is and how to go about meeting it in the most beneficial and productive way possible. Not someday. As soon as you possibly can.
An Asian actress by the name of Lily Leung (who just passed this past August) once said, "When in doubt, choose change." Don't wait until next year. Don't get distracted by the holiday season. Shoot, don't even click out of this article without making the commitment to do something—anything—that will help you to get to where change wants you to be.
Change is a good thing. So, if you saw yourself in this article, it's time to change your life. The good news is now all you've got to do is fully surrender to that reality. Then watch how the Universe helps you out—now that you're in full agreement. Enjoy the ride, sis. It's about to totally rock your world and change your life—for the better!
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Originally published on June 10, 2019