Before I settled into the lane of (mostly) sex and relationships writing, I was an entertainment journalist; this meant that I sharpened my teeth, quite a bit, in the interviewing lane — which meant that I’ve encountered quite a few different personalities over the years. And even though it’s been almost three decades of me doing that (off and on), in just a 50-minute conversation that I recently had, I found someone who has easily entered into my Top 10 of all-time favorite people to professionally explore. Easily.
Even if you don’t know her name, I’m willing to bet my next three writing checks that you’ve seen her before because if someone is good for going viral out here in these TikTok streets, it’s Christiana Sabino.
Since I also do a good amount of health and beauty writing, I know what filters can do. For her, they need not apply; she is the epitome of natural beauty. Yet and still, when she popped up on that video screen, she almost took my own damn breath away because stunning? That doesn’t even begin to cut it. In fact, I’m still trying to find an adjective that truly does her justice.
At really-close-to-30, Christina is as feminine as she is gorgeous, as humble as she is wise, as traditional (valued) as she is professionally savvy — and all of these reasons and more (especially once her husband joined in) are why I just knew I had to meet her, pick her brain and provide you all with some inspiration to do what she’s doing in your own signature way: let love and your purpose totally expand your life.
First, the Answers to Some Questions You’ve Probably Always Wanted to Know
Listen, if you don’t recognize Christiana, you either don’t do social media (pretty much at all) or you need to get your eyes checked. I say that because, if there’s one person who is gonna post a video of preparing meals to songs that I’m impressed she’s such a fan of (since she’s still in her 20s) while in some of the most radiant outfits alongside her man who you can tell truly adores her and she’s gonna get a million hits, damn near every single time, it’s her — almost seamlessly so.
“It’s what I know,” says Christiana with a soft-spoken delivery yet very clear demeanor. “I come from a two-parent home [as does her husband, Arismarlyn Sabino] and the way that I am on the videos is how I was raised.”
I could tell that she was Eastern-cultured from the first time I saw her content. I did a bit of digging and discovered that she was Liberian. Her husband? He’s from the Dominican Republic. They met in college in New York City and both have degrees. Christiana’s lane is nutrition (which makes all of the sense in the world if you’re a follower of her stuff) while Arismarlyn (who goes by Aris and is 28) is an architect. They’ve been together for seven years total, married for one year (their first anniversary is in June) and they currently live in Texas.
One more thing: although Christiana’s Instagram page simply says that she is a “blogger” that is the ultimate understatement. She has a cookbook (more on that in a bit). She owns a skin and hair care line called Goddess Gleam. She is a huge fan of and consistently displays lifestyle content — from fitness and fashion to travel and home — and she’s passionate about her partnership with the green hair care company Amika.
“My brand is based on my own standards,” Christiana explains. “Everything that people see are things that I love — especially Black love.”
Ain’t nothin’ better than Black love, y’all. I just had to know more.
"My brand is based on my own standards. Everything that people see are things that I love — especially Black love."
Christiana’s Own Standards Brought Her to the Love That She’s Always Desired
Since I’m also a married life coach (and have been for almost 20 years now), I can discern pretty easily what genuine and healthy love looks like. Christiana and Aris? They are the real deal, y’all. Still, Christiana admits that there were a few frogs who came along before her prince (who actually carries himself more like a gentle and loving Black king) did.
“When I first came here and started to date, it was weird,” Christiana says with a light laugh. “I wasn’t used to people who didn’t date to marry and that’s all I wanted to do. I’m really family-oriented, so I was looking for a man who would be a good father and then a good husband — in that order because what you show as a father will let me know you’re a good husband potential.”
"When I first came here and started to date, it was weird. I wasn't used to people who didn't date to marry and that's all I wanted to do."
It wasn’t too long after trying her hand at dating in the States that she was blessed to meet Aris — a man who Christiana describes as responsible, hard-working, someone she loves to learn from, and who is beyond thoughtful and kind. A man who was more than happy and willing to discuss what they both were looking for in a relationship just three weeks into them dating each other. Yeah, Christiana definitely beams whenever she speaks of Aris; she’s so proud to be with him that it was actually not until halfway through the interview that I knew his name wasn’t “my husband.”
“My husband is so present and consistent,” Christiana shares. “He writes books. He actually designed my cookbook and gifted it to me on my birthday. I didn’t even know that he was going to do that but he compiled my recipes without my noticing and presented them to me. That’s the kind of man my husband is.”
"We definitely complement each other. I love every part of him."
I totally believe her because, although I don’t recall which post it was (Christiana posts quite a bit), I do remember her saying sometime last year that Aris was “retiring her,” so that she could do brand-building and content-creating full-time.
“We definitely complement each other,” Christiana explains. “I love every part of him.”
Which explains why, even though both Christiana and Aris say that they come from traditional homes, they went a bit against the grain by dating for a couple of years and then intentionally living together for one before getting engaged and later married.
“One of my uncles calls me ‘the black sheep’ of the family because that’s not how things are usually done with us,” Christiana admits. “I was intentional. I wanted us to be our most vulnerable [selves] and really know each other before marriage. I also wanted to grow with my partner [over time]…I think that’s why going from engaged to married hasn’t been much different; we had already learned so much about each other before.”
"I was intentional. I wanted us to be our most vulnerable and really know each other before marriage."
Christiana will say that although she is very comfortable doing things her own way when it comes to her wedding, she and Aris acquiesced to their families because, if it had been solely up to her and her now-husband, they would’ve eloped and had a ceremony later. Yet there are no regrets — when it comes to living with Aris first or having a ceremony to please their loved ones.
And now that they are about to hit their first official year as newlyweds, what is it like blending pretty much everything together? That’s when Aris, who was quietly sitting off-camera the entire time, was then asked to join the chat. I’m so happy that he did.
When a Man Loves a Woman, Y’all
Christiana is beautiful. Aris is handsome. They are a great-looking couple. Still, if Christiana has me low-key geeking over her looks, we all know that men must be up in the comments trippin’ hard. It doesn’t phase Aris; not one bit.
“She is beautiful and it’s the internet,” Aris says very calmly and gently. “As long as people don’t make her uncomfortable and everyone keeps their hands to themselves…she knows that I would die for her; that I would protect her. [Christiana is] my responsibility. We’ve been through too much together to worry about people we don’t know online.”
As I asked Aris to expound on what gives him the level of confidence that he has as he “shares” his wife with the world, he said, “We share some of our lives online but not all of it. And my wife is so reasonable, nurturing and she listens to understand. I think because we feel so safe with each other, it’s hard to feel worried about other people. Also, I don’t want her to feel forced to be with me. I always want to be her choice. That’s also why commenters don’t matter.”
Although both Aris and Christiana agree that no relationship is perfect, as I watched their energy exchange between each other (he looks at her so lovingly and she can’t keep her hands off of some part of him), I totally believed Christiana when she said that their “relationship struggle phase” was no more than a week. Once they realized that it was nothing more than a “butting of egos” (their words), they both looked at each other and said, “What are we doing?” and decided to not attempt one of those types of weeks again.
“When you work with your partner, you’ve got to put your pride aside,” Aris says. “You’ve got to really listen to each other, trust in each other, and give each other patience and grace.”
“My husband is huge on communication,” Christiana adds. “I’ve learned a lot about how to communicate better because of him. I listen more and now we’re at a point where we can read each other, we can answer each other’s questions. He’s my best friend and I trust him because I know that he has my best interest.”
When I asked if there are ever times when it’s hard for them to “get off of the clock” so to speak since so much of their professional and personal lives are intertwined, Christiana said, “He’s not a content creator, I am. My husband does a lot behind the scenes but we put our relationship first. Nothing is going to come before that.”
Christiana went on to share that even with as popular as her brand is becoming, it’s clear that there is a theme. Lifestyle and healthy living, yes — however, Black love and legacy are at the helm.
“My husband — I love every part of him. I prove my love by how I treat him. I’ve learned his needs and I meet them. He does the same. What I share online is a just a piece of what it’s like for us to be together. It’s a part of my culture. It’s a part of my relationship. It’s who I am.”
With (currently) over three million followers on TikTok and close to 675,000 followers on Instagram — how wonderful is it to know that so many people tune in, pretty much daily, to share in and celebrate all that Christiana holds dear. Black love, y’all, most of all.
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You can follow Christiana on TikTok at kristiline_ _ and on Instagram @kristline_. Make sure to pick up one of her cookbooks too: Mama's Cookbook Volume 1, Mama’s Cookbook Volume 2 and others that are special editions or available for pre-order here.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
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