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This Is How The 5:1 Ratio Can Keep Your Marriage Healthy
During an interview not too long ago, someone asked me a question that I think more therapists and life coaches (hell, people who work in the mental health field on any level, to be honest) should be asked more often: “So Shellie, how do you not become jaded when working with people who complain a lot?”
LISTEN. That really is a layered question because, when you work with couples, it is indeed true (unfortunately) that a lot of them come to you to save their marriage once it’s on life support instead of doing routine maintenance as they would when it comes to changing the oil in their car. So, if you’re considering hitting up a marriage “expert,” first, we can’t do more work than you’re willing to (and boy, that will preach!). Secondly, the effort we put in will be futile if both parties aren’t willing to take some personal accountability for their actions or lack thereof (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”).
Okay, but back to what I was asked. For one thing, I receive confirmations, almost on a daily basis, that I am living out my purpose — and when you know that you’re doing what you were put on the planet to do, that fuels you like nothing else can or will. Secondly, my clients know that I am uber-focused on working together to find solutions within each and every session; the “Hmm…tell me more about that” while saying nothing coach, I am not. Third, I am careful about the kind of energy I take in on the days when I have sessions (especially if it’s gonna be more than one), from who I talk to on the phone, what I watch on television, and what I consume online. And finally, a sistah is good for some naps. Naps are king.
As for my third point, did you catch that in order for me to help people effectively, I have to be intentional about avoiding toxicity and negativity? And you know what? When it comes to keeping your marriage healthy, the same mindset must be considered. One way to do that is to apply what is called the “5:1 Ratio.” And that is just what we’re gonna get into today.
The Magic Ratio: The 5:1 Ratio in Relationships
What Is the 5:1 Ratio in Marriage All About?
So…some backstory on the 5:1 Ratio. Back in the 70s, a man by the name of Dr. Robert Levenson and another man by the name of Dr. John Gottman decided to conduct some studies on how people resolve conflict. What they would ask couples to do is strive to resolve an issue that they were having in no more than 15 minutes (hmph…some of y’all like to hold grudges for days on end, so I already know this would be quite the feat…SMDH).
After spending several years evaluating this practice, they were able to predict which couples would be able to go the distance vs. which ones would probably end up in divorce court with an amazing 90 percent accuracy rate. The conclusion that they came to is healthy/happy couples practice the 5:1 Ratio while unhealthy/unhappy couples do not.
And just what is the 5:1 Ratio? What it all boils down to is for a marriage to thrive — especially on a mental and emotional level — there needs to be five positive interactions for every one negative interaction that transpires.
For instance, if you and your husband get into a disagreement about household chores, that is the “one” negative, yet if you’re able to crack jokes, laugh, exchange some level of intimacy, playfully tease, and hear each other out without any cynicism or sarcasm, that counts as “five” positives — and so long as that type of 5-to-1 engaging is going on, you should be (relatively) fine.
Oh, I know for a fact that there are all kinds of truth up in this because, even in my sessions, I’ve got clients who can give me about 10 negative interactions in under 60 minutes while getting them to say or do anything positive is like performing an impromptu root canal on them. Why is that the case? I think a part of it has to do with how much negativity bias goes down in relationships. Let me explain.
How to Keep Negativity Bias from Infecting Your Marriage
“Leaning into the negative” is actually a real thing; it’s called negativity bias. It basically means that humans tend to respond/react to negative way stronger than they do to positive stuff. That’s why, for instance, if someone asks you to list 10 things that you like about yourself vs. 10 things that you don’t, not only will it (probably) be easier for you to run down the things that you don’t like, you will probably start out with those things as well.
Yeah, negativity bias is wild because if you were to read up on it, you’d learn that it’s why a lot of us find bad news to hold more truth and merit to it than good news and/or why people have a hard time reaching a goal or completing a plan because they tend to be more focused on what they will lose by putting forth the effort than what they actually stand to gain. So, if just one person struggles with staying on top of not “falling victim” to negativity bias…think how much more effort it takes to not let it influence you when it comes to your relationships with other people. Especially your marriage.
For instance, if your husband comes home in a bad mood, think about how much easier it is to absorb his negative energy due to y’all’s emotional closeness and the physical proximity of his presence alone. Before you know it, now you both are salty as hell. Then, if you decide to have a conversation about the household budget (which is usually not the most comfortable conversation to have, even on the best of days) and the two of you are already in a “glass half empty kind of mood” — here comes assuming, accusing and gaslighting. See what I mean?
This is a part of the reason why premarital counseling is so important because, real talk, one reason why so many marriages fail is because one or both people were too negative for that kind of commitment in the first place. Let’s be real: how are you going to compromise, be flexible, not be selfish, be solutions-oriented, and be open to seeing things from another person’s perspective if you permeate negative energy all over the place? YOU’RE NOT.
So, while we’re here, if you’re reading this and you happen to be unmarried yet are in a serious relationship, here are some signs that you and/or your partner are a very negative type of individual:
- You tend to look at things from a worst-case-scenario perspective;
- You don’t deal with stress well;
- You want to control everything;
- You use “always” and “never” a lot (which means that you see things in extremes, which isn’t healthy);
- You’re inflexible;
- You hardly ever see the silver lining or bright side of things;
- You critique everything and everyone;
- You don’t know how to compromise or negotiate;
- Damn near every conversation turns into a debate;
- You’re draining to be around.
If you can relate to three or more of these traits, the good news is you can change things around (with the help of some therapy and/or life coaching)…if you choose to. The challenging news is you really should wait before trying to take your relationship to the next level. Marriage already requires quite a bit of energy and effort — it’s already gonna stretch and challenge you in ways that no other relationship (in your entire life) will; if you’re a negative person, you’re already setting yourself up to see a judge grant you a divorce someday. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
Okay, but what if you’re already married, you didn’t really know as much about how negativity can infect your union and you want some help to make things better? Well, now that you know what the 5:1 Ratio is, let’s talk about a few ways that you can implement it — starting now. Like…right now.
The Magic Ratio: How to Use the 5:1 Ratio in Relationships
5 Tips for Effectively Applying the 5:1 Ratio to Your Relationship. Starting Today.
1. Tell your partner what you appreciate about them. Author H. Jackson Brown, Jr. once said, “Don’t forget; a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.” Appreciation is about making someone feel valued; it’s about letting them know what, about them, you are grateful for. I guarantee you that if you show appreciation to your partner, in the midst of whatever conflict or issues may be transpiring, it’s going to make things go over more smoothly. It tends to make working through matters easier, too, because they know that you see the good that they bring to the table in the midst of the challenges that are happening.
2. Stop taking them and/or yourself so seriously. Two things that are true about conflict: it’s gonna happen, and it’s not the end of the world. Listen, the couples in my world who hold grudges for days (which is silly and counterproductive; I can’t say that enough) are the ones who either take themselves or their partner way too seriously. What I mean by that is, they’re wound up (or expect their partner to be), they can’t take a joke (or won’t “let” their partner make one), and/or they would rather be right than happy (have mercy!) You are going to create more problems than resolve the ones that you have if everything is so strict and rigid for you. In other words, goodness — learn to lighten up.
3. Value your partner’s perspective. Real talk, if you think that you’re the only one who has wisdom, insight, perspective, truth, and knowledge — why did you get married? And if you can’t respect where your partner is coming from, whether you agree with them or not — again, why did you get married? A part of the purpose of marriage is to learn from the person YOU CHOSE and that requires listening, having an open mind, and bringing some humility into the conversation(s). I promise you that so much conflict can be nipped in that 15-minute window that I mentioned earlier if more husbands and wives were willing to apply this point right here alone, chile.
4. Be physically affectionate. Manipulating and/or weaponizing intimacy is not only counterproductive; it’s mean. Not only that but there are too many articles out there that support the fact that if you want to feel closer to your partner, touch helps to make that happen. Now, am I saying that every time there’s conflict you should have sex? Eh. Everything needs balance (check out “Make-Up Sex Might Be Doing Your Relationship More Harm Than Good”). What I am saying is…watch your body language during conflict (check out “15 Relational Body Language Cues You Definitely Shouldn't Ignore”) and be open to exchanging a kiss or hug once the discussion ends. It’s a way of saying, “I still got you even though this is a bit strained right now.” And when you’re married, that’s something that should be consistently conveyed.
5. Seek a solution. Again, if you’re unmarried and reading this, please DO NOT marry someone who isn’t a solutions-oriented type of person. Lawd, the number of clients I have who seem to enjoy wallowing in drama, tension, and problems is its own pandemic. Some are like that because they are naturally negative people. Others are like that because they were never taught how to see things from a “glass half full” angle. Still, others are like that because they aren’t emotionally intelligent and self-aware enough to get that staying in conflict is mentally draining and such a waste of time. Are you and your man gonna have conflict? 1000 percent. You can master the 5:1 Ratio, in part, by trying to find a solution as soon as absolutely possible, though.
____
In life, conflict comes. That’s just the way it is. Hopefully, now that you’re aware of the 5:1 Ratio approach, you’ve got a cheat code for bringing peace into your relationship quicker than you may have before.
Remember: for one negative action, bring in five positive reactions. Watch how your marriage flourishes because of it. Science says so.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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The Top Black Athletes To Watch In The 2024 Summer Olympics
In 2023, the question of "What will it take to grow the women's game?" was posed. Since then, and seemingly overnight, this question has been answered when women's sports began reaching new heights.
Receiving millions of dollars in marketing and sponsorship, sports like basketball, soccer, and track and field, have transformed into raved and acclaimed entertainment, as female athletes finally receive the respect they have always deserved. With women's sports prophesied to bring in over $1 billion in 2024, and record-breaking viewership, many are looking forward to seeing what women athletes are capable of, now that they are given the same media coverage as their counterparts.
With the 2024 Paris Olympic games around the corner, stellar athletes, who are both well-known and unknown, are destined to continue skyrocketing the popularity of women's sports. And to make sure you're not caught off guard or unaware of who the standouts are, we have provided a guide to the top Black female athletes to watch during this Olympic season. Check it out.
3x3 Basketball
Dearica Hamby
2022 WNBA Champion Dearica Hamby plays as a forward in the WNBA for the Los Angeles Sparks. Coming from Marietta, GA, and in her ninth season, Hamby is playing exceptionally in the 2024 regular season, with an average of 19.1 points, 10.4 rebounds, and 3.6 assists per game; ranking the veteran number 9 overall in the league. Although her team isn’t doing well this year–the Sparks are tenth in the WNBA standings– she has proven herself to be an unquestionable leader and star with accolades like two-time WNBA Sixth Woman of the Year and three-time WNBA All-Star, all of which has inevitably led to her qualifying for Paris 2024’s USA 3x3 Basketball team.
With Hamby on the 3x3 team, along with Cierra Burdick and Rhyne Howard, the team is predicted to take home gold for this Olympic season.
Other Honorable Mentions:
Cierra Burdick
Rhyne Howard
Basketball
A'ja Wilson
A'ja Wilson is to the WNBA what Caitlin Clark was to College Women’s Basketball: a legend. In a way, saying it like this cheapens the accomplishments that A'ja Wilson has had in College Women’s Basketball, the WNBA, and everywhere else. Unfortunately, due to its newly found popularity, this is the best comparison that can be made for one truly to understand. Regardless, the two-time WNBA Champion was the MVP of the WNBA league and the top defensive player in the league for the past two seasons. She also holds the record as the franchise’s all-time league scorer and has had six games with 30-plus points and 15 games hitting the 26-plus mark this season alone. In other words, she is a phenomenon.
With her current season average of 26.9 points, 10.9 rebounds, 2.7 assists, and 1.8 steals per game, the USA Women’s Basketball team is destined to take home the gold. Not to mention, Wilson will be playing with teammates and fellow WNBA champs Jackie Young, Chelsea Gray, Brittney Griner, and Jewel Lloyd, respectively.
Other Honorable Mentions:
Jackie Young
Chelsea Gray
Kahleah Copper
Brittney Griner
Jewell Loyd
Boxing
Morelle McCane
Representing Team USA in the 2024 Paris Olympics, Morelle McCane qualified for the Olympic Games by securing a silver medal at the 2023 Pan American Games in Santiago. Qualifying for the Olympic Games, McCane begins her quest for gold as a newfound history maker, as the first female from Cleveland, Ohio to qualify for the Olympic Games. Starting at the age of 17, McCane proved herself indispensable in the world of boxing, with accomplishments in the 2022 USA Boxing International Invitational, 2021 USA Boxing Elite National Championships, 2021 National Golden Gloves, and 2020 USA Boxing Elite National Championships.
Now, the Olympian hopes to obtain gold and inspire children and women to follow in her footsteps. In an article for Olympics.com, the rising star said, “Of course, I'm a girl and I like to look cute, dress cute, so I just want to bring every aspect of me into the ring, and then it’s my time to shine…I don’t want people to think I fight as strongly as a man. Instead, I want people to stare in awe at this woman who landed a vicious right hook.”
Fencing
Lauren Scruggs
How often do you hear about a Black fencing player? Especially one from Queens?
Fencer Lauren Scruggs, who attended Harvard, began her impressive career thanks to her brother’s influence. A six-time World Champion at Junior and Cadet Worlds (three individual and three team Ws), and the youngest foil fencer to ever win Junior World Champion, Scruggs secured a spot fencing for the U.S. National Team at the 2024 Olympics after having a standout three seasons with Harvard University’s women’s fencing team. After her outstanding performance on the junior circuit, the rising star accepted the challenge of playing against more experienced opponents when she first began competing at senior competitions in 2021.
In her most recent season, the 2022-2023 season, the fencer went undefeated on the season with the record of 36-0; and became 4th in the women’s World Championship and 11th overall in the 2023-2024 season. Now, entering the Paris 2024 Olympics the foil fencer is a contender to take a medal home for the US, which could make her the third US American woman to take a medal home.
Gymnastics
Simon Biles
Remember that time Simone Biles' husband said when they started dating, he “didn’t even know who she was”? As charming as that might’ve seemed, it’s just truly hard to believe, considering all the records this woman keeps breaking.
A true catch (see what I did there?), Simone Biles has become the oldest U.S. gymnast to compete in the Olympics in 72 years, at the age of 27. With four gold medals, the gymnast returns to the Olympic games with a few loose ends. Despite taking home two medals, Biles ended her run early in the 2021 Tokyo Games to concentrate on her mental health. The athlete returns now, mentally stronger, hoping to win back the gold.
The USA Women’s team is a clear favorite to win gold because the reigning Russian champions are no longer eligible to compete due to the Russian-Ukrainan war. Therefore, it’s possible Biles will not go home empty-handed. However, in the individual events, first place might be harder to obtain for the seven-time Olympian and 30 World Championships title holder, with stiff competitors Hezly Rivera, Suni Lee, Jordan Chiles, and Jade Carey vying for the gold medal.
Other Honorable Mentions:
Jordan Chiles
Rugby
Naya Tapper
If you're part of the 46% of women who like watching football: watch rugby. If you're a part of the other 54% who don't like watching football, but enjoy watching women be badasses: watch women's rugby, especially during these Olympic Games.
Five years ago, World Rugby declared former track and field star, Naya Tapper, "USA's surging star." Since then, Tapper has qualified for two Olympic rugby teams and leads the current USA team as co-captain. The first American woman to reach 100 tries (think touchdowns for football), the UNC alumni is the all-time leading try scorer for the USA Women's 7s team and inevitably one to watch during these Olympic Games Paris 2024. With insane speed, fantastic judgment, and unrelenting, showstopping tackles, Tapper dominates in a sport that is gaining popularity in the USA.
Though, the USA Women's team has a long way to go during this Olympic Games to win the gold medal. With the women's team ranking seventh in the world, they'll need to overcome teams like England, Canada, and New Zealand to even see a glimpse of gold.
Other Honorable Mentions:
Cheta Emba
Ariana Ramsey
Soccer
Sophia Smith
Sadly, it has been a while since I’ve trusted the US Women’s National Team; especially under the leadership of Vlatko Andonovski, who wasn’t a bad coach, just a bad coach for the USWNT. Nevertheless, the team has tripped, fallen, and stumbled into the arms of legendary coach Emma Hayes, and the future is suddenly looking a little brighter.
Well, that’s due to Hayes and the relentless Sophia Smith and her golden foot.
At 23 years old, Smith has been named 2022 MVP and 2023 Golden Boot winner with just four seasons under her belt. Now, she is the US women's soccer player to watch, as she has discovered a new shift in her mindset. In a recent interview with NBC, the soccer star says, "Now, I feel like I'm in a good place confidently to be like, 'I know what I can do, I know what my strengths are, I know what my weaknesses are." Armed with her newfound discoveries, the star hopes to "control [her] confidence" and lean on her strengths and weaknesses to acquire the prestigious gold medal, which has eluded the US team since 2012.
In her first Olympic Games, Sophia Smith hopes to put her name among legends Abby Wambach. Mia Hamm, and Carli Lloyd. Though, she has a lot of work ahead of her, especially considering the USA's ever-growing relentless competition, and our team's long journey to return to the top.
Other Honorable Mentions:
Crystal Dunn
Naomi Girma
Casey Krueger
Trinity Rodman
Jaedyn Shaw
Mallory Swanson
Tennis
Coco Gauff
Have y'all ever watched Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends? If not, take a second to look up Coco from the show on YouTube, and listen to how he says his name. That's what I think of when I see Coco Gauff on my television screen. Regardless of who she is playing against, regardless of their rank, and potential to be stiff competition, I cannot help but continuously repeat: Coco, Coco, Coco.
In her Olympics debut, the 20-year-old tennis champion has ambitious plans to acquire several titles and medals, stating she wants to win medals in "singles, doubles, and mixed." Currently ranked number four in the world, Gauff is a strong contender in these Summer Olympic Games and has only shown herself to be successful under the close gaze of doubters. Nonetheless, Gauff's desire to win in all three will not come easy, especially without having a mixed doubles partner. However, the hope of taking home two gold medals is not too far out of reach, with the tennis star becoming one of the best in women's and one-half of women's doubles tennis, with the highest ranking of two in singles, and one and two in doubles.
With representing Team USA, there will be inevitable comparisons to players who have come before Guaff, such as the Williams sisters. Nevertheless, after these Olympic games, I have a feeling the comparisons will finally die down, and the world, too, will begin chanting Coco, Coco, Coco.
Swimming
Simone Manuel
If you don't know who Simone Manuel is, let me tell you: She is the first Black American woman to land an individual Olympic gold medal.
Dominating in the 2016 Rio Olympic Games, Manuel has won a gold medal for the woman's 100m freestyle, and 4x100m medley, while also taking home two silver medals for 50m free and the woman's 4x100m freestyle. Four years later, in the Tokoyo Games, the swimmer managed to acquire a bronze medal in the 4x100m freestyle relay, despite having been diagnosed with over-training. Following the games, the swimmer took a break from the sport and established her own foundation to support the expansion of swimming among Black communities and other marginalized groups that had been mostly excluded from a predominantly White sport.
After giving herself time to recover both physically and mentally, the swimmer is now much more prepared to go after gold in the games. Manuel plans to strive for greatness as a top contender, but she doesn't plan to do it at any cost. In her recent AP Summer Olympics article, she states, "I’ve always been very in tune with my body in regards to swimming, but I’ve just learned it’s really important to take a breath. It’s really important to not just be in tune with your body, but really listen to it.”
Track and Field
Track and field athlete Sha'Carri Richardson poses during the Team USA Paris 2024 Olympic Portrait Shoot at NBC Universal Studios Stage 16.
Harry How/Getty Images
Sha'Carri Richardson
The only thing that can stop Sha'Carri Richardson from coming home with the gold medal is Richardson herself.
At the age of 19, Sha'Carri Richardson became one of the ten fastest women in history. Two years later, the track and field star became the sixth-fastest woman of all time, the fourth-fastest American woman in history, and qualified for the 2020 Summer Olympics. Nevertheless, this feat was short-lived when the athlete tested positive for THC, which created controversy once her winning results were invalidated and she became ineligible to compete in the Olympic Games.
Nevertheless, Richardson has not let this stop her. Since 2020, the runner has won gold at the 2023 Budapest World Championships for individual and team relays and successfully defended her title in the 2024 Olympic Qualifying Games. Not to mention the star has received a multi-million dollar deal with Nike, Android, and Whoop, and a cover with Vogue. With nothing to stop her, Richardson has returned with a passion to take possession of the gold that the world has always believed has been hers. As the current title holder of the fastest woman alive, the star wants everyone to know that during these Olympic Games, she's "not back, [she's] better."
Other Honorable Mentions:
Nia Akins
Brittany Brown
Aaliyah Butler
Anna Cockrell
Vashti Cunningham
Tara Davis-Woodhall
Annette Echikunwoke
Kendall Ellis
Veronica Fraley
Tori Franklin
Rachel Glenn
Alexis Holmes
Melissa Jefferson
Alaysha Johnson
Jasmine Jones
McKenzie Long
Jasmine Moore
Keturah Orji
Jaida Ross
Raven Saunders
Grace Stark
Gabby Thomas
Juliette Whittaker
Other athletes to watch that were not mentioned: Marie Laborde (Judo), Ashleigh Johnson (Water Polo) and Chiaka Ogbogu, Jordan Thompson, and Haleigh Washington (Volleyball).
Starting July 26, check out these amazing Olympians during the 2024 Paris Olympics.
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