![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![Our Postpartum Marriage Was The Birth Of A New Love](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTU4NjIyOC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTczODc2MTY3NH0.vfya9ZTO7OB8ClLmVtxQjPBTaNGSWErFncdb8Zokq8U/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C271%2C0%2C83)
Our Postpartum Marriage Was The Birth Of A New Love
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.
This old adage is true but what no one explains to you that after the baby, there are an abundance of changes that happen to the marriage. The marriage evolves into a new entity that is filled with sleepless nights, colic-filled cries, disagreements about who got up with the baby last, and who should fold the clothes.
And to top it off, we as women are still dealing with the physical demands of birthing six to ten-pound baby.
Our emotions and hormones are easily disrupted, and we are often left with an overwhelming sense of not knowing ourselves anymore. We feel lost because we have this new title as "mom" with the old title of "wife/fiancée/girlfriend" seeming too complex to even fathom. So along my journey of postpartum-hood filled with many bumps in the road I have learned a couple of things.
Here are my tips to help your marriage/relationship withstand the blessing of a new baby.
Be Patient With Your Significant Other.
Getty Images
The birth of your child brings about new stressors and causes new ones to develop. Anyone telling you different is obviously lying. The important thing to remember is that you are going through this experience together so, while you may be changing diapers, your significant other may be clocking in more hours at work. Both jobs are equally as hard but drastically different.
Communicate how you feel and what you need to feel supported. This might mean that you need a girl's night out when your husband has an off-day or you plan a romantic house picnic (yes, there is such a thing) when your man gets home from work. Whatever it is, just be sure to communicate openly about your needs. Nothing breaks up a relationship faster than assumptions and the distrust built from those assumptions.
Don’t Forget To Say "Thank You".
The first few months after the birth of your baby are busy with learning about your baby, making appointments, revamping your finances, and trying to figure out a normal routine. Often, the first things to go in your relationship are the simple nuances that make the relationship thrive. Don't forget to tell your significant other thank you for the simple things. "Thanks babe for bringing me a bottle of water." "Thank you for taking my turn last night with our crying little one." "Thank you for cooking dinner and making my plate."
All these things seem like small gestures but you must realize that these small gestures mean that you continue to see your partner as someone that is helpful, loving, and most of all an individual that is there with you and for you during this transitional time in life. We all want to feel appreciated so be sure to show gratitude to your loved one during this time.
Laugh. Often.
Getty Images
As a first time mom, there were times where I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I have put on diapers wrong, got poop on my hand, and been sprayed by my little one (boy mom problems). All these things are now jokes between my spouse and I because at the end of the day, our little guy is happy and thriving. If you can still find moments to bond over laughter at your mistakes and even at your triumphs, this will continue to bond your relationship together. Laughter releases stress and lets us all know that there is joy in all things.
There are no perfect recipes for a thriving relationship. There isn't such a thing as relationship goals. Each relationship is faced with its own set of obstacles and challenges. The birth of my son has been one of the best things that have ever happened to me. It has strained my relationship with my spouse as well as caused it to flourish in ways I never expected. At the end of the day, if the good times outweigh the bad and you have your partner by your side, your relationship will blossom and overcome the obstacles of postpartum-hood.
Featured image by Getty Images
Tabitha Rivers is a wife, mother, and a thrill-seeker learning how to navigate the world as a successful black millennial women, all while making sure her crown never falls.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."