Make 2020 The Year To Achieve These Next Level #SexGoals
A couple of weeks ago, while in an interview, someone asked me one of those "pageant questions"—you know, like "What do you wish for the world?" My answer? It wasn't world peace. As someone who works with married couples, many of which who have some of the worst sex lives that I've ever seen (well, not seen but you know what I mean), I said, "I wish more people would make having a fulfilling sex life more of a priority than they tend to do." Sex, especially when you're in a long-term committed relationship, is important. It speaks volumes to the level of intimacy, connection and desire two people have for one another. It also reminds us that we were created to be sexual beings so, just like we need to be "good" in other areas of our lives, we need to be satisfied sexually as well.
That's why, there was no way that I could let 2020 arrive without at least encouraging y'all to set some sex goals for the year ahead. Things that will make you have sex more often, things that will bring you and yours closer together—things that will make you see sex as being just as important as all of the other things that you've got on your to-do list. Are you ready to make 2020 the year when you have the best sex—EVER? Let's do this.
Sex Goals You & Your Partner Need For A Better Sex Life
1. Extend the Foreplay
The late comedian Joan Rivers once said, "Women don't blink during foreplay…there's not enough time." That's funny but you know what they say—there's truth in all humor. Along these lines, another truth that should be stated is a partner who isn't into foreplay is a partner who could stand to become a better lover. Just like good food prep makes for a better meal, good foreplay makes for a far more pleasurable sexual experience.
In 2020, be intentional about turning foreplay into a real art form. Flirt over the phone and text throughout the day. Give each other sensual massages with some aphrodisiac essential oils. Do strip teases. Incorporate "sex condiments" like honey and syrup (which are even better when some sweet almond oil is mixed in and warmed up first). Set the right ambiance. Explore uncommon erogenous zones. Strongly consider saying "grace" first like model Ashley Graham and her husband do (if you consider sex to be a spiritual act, that shouldn't freak you out in the least). Tell each other your fantasies. Kiss—passionately and a lot. TAKE. YOUR. TIME. A Kinky Quotes quote that I like is, "When you go from foreplay to sex and back…over and over." Make that a mantra for your sex life this year and I promise you, there will be absolutely no regrets.
2. Start a “New Position of the Week” Private Club
According to one site that I checked out, there are approximately 245 different sex positions. This means that if you tried one position a day, it would take about nine months to knock 'em all out. According to certain studies, so long as you and yours are gettin' it in once a week, you should be all good.
My advice would be to shoot for having sex, one day a week more than you currently do. While you're in the process of doing that, at least one of those times, test out a new position.
Hey, a lot of couples say that boredom is one of their greatest sexual challenges; if you know that some never-been-attempted-before action is always on the horizon, this should curb that issue. At least a little bit.
3. Schedule Sex (If You Tend to Have It Less than Once a Week)
Whenever I'm dealing with a couple who tells me something along the lines of, "Girl, we looked up one day and realized that we haven't had any in weeks", my first question is usually, "Why?" If they tell me that the sex is good, they just don't seem to have time, my follow-up is, "Why don't you create a sex schedule?" Sometimes they'll frown at the thought of how "not romantic" that is but the way I see it, I'd rather have orgasms with a little less spontaneity than be sexually pissed because I'm waiting for some Hallmark moment to transpire.
Besides, scheduling sex is all about perspective. While on one hand, it can come off as being rigid and planned, it can also give you and yours some much-needed quality time to look forward to. Knowing that Tuesday nights (for instance) are marked on your calendar, that could be all that you need to go from being sexless to being sexually satisfied.
4. Get a New Piece of Lingerie a Month Too
It's interesting because, while a lot of women would never give someone a present that wasn't wrapped first, they don't get what the big deal is about lingerie. To me, it's the same concept. Every woman is a gift and dressing that gift up makes the sexual experience that much more exciting—to the giver and the receiver. For one thing, it encourages the art of seduction (there really is something sensual about slowing taking off your clothes or slowly having them taken off). Also, it tends to bring in the element of surprise. I really can't tell y'all how many husbands are resentful about how much effort their wives take into going out while coming to bed looking a hot mess.
One way to change that in the new year is to create your own "Lingerie of the Month" club. One month, you can purchase something, the next month, your man can purchase something for you. And what about him? I mean, what do you like to see him in? Add that to the monthly list as well. You also might want to invest in some Manscaped. Let KevOnStage tell it (here at the 20:00 mark), it's brought new life to his, umm, testicles. Clearly, it's all the rage because comedian Big Jahh recently did a skit about it too.
Something else that's cool is to get him something from Hawthorne. I learned about it from the guys over atDam Internet, You Scary (around the 21:00 mark). Apparently, your man can answer some questions on the site and get some cologne, body wash or other smell good customized for him. A good smelling man is erotic AF. Whew…let me reel it back in. Anyway, use their code DIYS and receive 10 percent off of your first order.
5. Put a Sex Bucket List Together
So, according to the website BucketList.net, there are at least 10 benefits that come from creating bucket lists; five of them include—they excite us, motivate us, makes us more interesting, keeps us active and, my personal favorite, force us to figure out what we really want. I don't know about you, but that sounds like some really good reasons to come up with a customized 2020 sex bucket list.
As far as what you should put on there, the possibilities run the gamut. Some ideas may include—going on a country-wide hotel tour; having oral sex in a public place; writing an erotic story together; being naked for an entire day (together, of course); joining the mile high club; going skinny dipping; having sex for 30 days straight; mastering multiple orgasms; seeing how many times you can have sex in one weekend, and/or taking a sensual massage class.
Again, the ideas are totally up to you, but if you want to avoid the rut of ho-hum sex, one way to do that is to come up with a list that will keep you on your toes—well, rather on your back (or him on his).
6. Get More Morning Sex In
One of the benefits of being a marriage life coach is I'm able to gain true pearls of wisdom that I probably wouldn't hear any other way. One of my favorites comes from a wife of over three decades that has her hubby's co-sign—"A little head in the morning makes everything alright. The bills don't stress you out as much. The kids are a little less on your nerves. You're just in a zen frame of mind." Again, she's been married for over 30 years at this point, so why not take what she said to heart? Whether it's oral sex or full-on intercourse, morning sex can give you more energy, make you more productive throughout the day, and definitely keep your cortisol levels down. So yeah, get your partner a blank greeting card and write in it that you are committing to participating in morning sex more often. You might be surprised by how much brighter your world becomes if/when you do.
7. Have One Sexcation a Season
There are some married people I know who haven't gone on a romantic vacation since their honeymoon. Not only that but, whether it was due to their limited budget or not being able to schedule enough time away, even that wasn't really all that they dreamed it would be. If you are someone who is shaking your head in agreement because you can totally relate, seize the day and plan some sexcations for the upcoming year. These are NOT to be mistaken for family trips where you try and sneak a quickie in before the kids get up. These are vacations that are devoted to NOTHING BUT SEX. This means you need to research a sexy hotel, Airbnb, vacation house or resort. You need to set at least a weekend aside. And you need to rest up before you go because, again, this isn't about sleeping and ordering room service the entire time. It's all about reconnecting, sexually—no more, no less.
Oh, and why not literally swing for the fences—and by that, I mean bedposts—by not scheduling just one sexcation? Instead, plan out one for each season. Hey, there are 52 weeks in a year. Surely, with some forethought and budgeting, four of those can be reserved for your sex life. If it's a priority, that is. In 2020, let's make sure that it is.
8. Affirm Each Other’s Bodies, AS IS, More Often
Earlier this year, while spending some time on one of my favorite shopping sites (Etsy), I peeped a sweatshirt that I plan on purchasing—"Start a Revolution. Stop Hating Your Body". I can't tell you how many women have told me that they hate having sex with the lights on (even though their partner loves it) because they are insecure about their body (or body type). There have also been quite a few men who've told me that they don't initiate as much as they used to because they don't feel as virile as they used to due to some of the extra poundage (weight) that they've put on over the years. If you check out the article "What Exactly Does It Mean To Be Sexually Compatible?" on our site, you'll see that the way a person looks isn't really on the list. Sexual compatibility is about energy, desire and connecting on both a mental as well as emotional level.
I agree with what Lamman Rucker's character told Jill Scott's character in Why Did I Get Married? He said, "If you don't like your body, change it." But don't cause your sex life—and ultimately your relationship—to suffer, simply because you are self-conscious about your breasts that aren't as perky as they used to be (ladies) or the love handles that may be in abundance (fellas).
And couples, if you know that your partner is not currently comfortable with their bodies, implement the Golden Rule and treat them how you'd want to be treated. Focus on what you do love—and lust. Although some of us are drawn to words of affirmation more than others, it can never hurt to receive compliments from the one we're most intimate with. Words to live by, that's for sure.
9. Openly Discuss a Sex Wound—Then Strive to Heal It
There's a woman I know who has been married for almost forty years at this point who has a less than fulfilling sex life. A big part of the reason why is because she was sexually assaulted in college yet has never told her husband. I can only imagine how freeing it would be for her and how much it would connect the dots for him if she revealed that bit of information.
My point? According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, one in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lifetime, and one in three women and one in six men will experience some type of sexual violence. As someone who has been sexually molested and assaulted, I know firsthand that if you don't process and heal the pain that is associated with these types of violations, it will have a direct reflection on your relationship—and your sex life.
If there is something that you are holding back from your partner—whether it's a childhood memory, something that happened in college or something else sexually-related that you know has caused you to build up a wall or be afraid to trust your partner fully, decide that 2020 will be the year that you will be open, honest and real with them. The best sex starts with intimacy and authentic intimacy is strong when there is a solid emotional connection at the root of it all.
10. Climax. EVERY TIME.
Uh-huh. See, this is what we ain't gonna do this year. We ain't gonna be content until as many of our readers as possible are resolved to not fake orgasms or to concede to not having orgasms at all. Orgasms release stress. Orgasms bring "feel good hormones" into your system. Orgasms make you feel closer to your partner. Orgasms are the total bomb.
If you've been struggling in this area, mere words cannot express how much we got you, starting with "This Is How You Master The Female Orgasm", "Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream" and "How To Orgasm With Your Partner At The Same Time". Then spend some time sharing with your partner how vital climaxing is to you. If he's a good man and lover, it will be just as, if not more, important to him. Setting the goal to make you cum and then for you to cum each and every time—at the very least will make you feel sexy, relished and a part of something that has your best interest at heart.
A lot of women don't orgasm every time because it's not a goal. Make it one and watch how happy your yoni becomes. Start now and watch how 2020 blows your mind. Setting and reaching sex goals always do. #wink
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Are You Ready To Amp Up Your Oral Sex Game? Try This.
Experts Believe Passion (Not Love) Makes Sex Better. You Agree?
These Steamy Positions Will Reinvigorate Your Sex Life
10 Things Couples Who (Consistently) Have Great Sex Do
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Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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