I Took A Happiness Workshop In Curaçao & It Gave Me Healing Through Community

The first thing I felt after a long day of traveling was ease. It would become the common thread experienced throughout my 5-day stay on the breathtakingly beautiful Dutch island of Curaçao. There’s something innate about the energy of healing on an island. Life feels slower. Nature surrounds you and grounds you. And you are called to mirror your surroundings in a way that ushers in ease and flow. The environment itself is healing and if you let it, you can be blessed by those effects.
Aside from the shining faces of strangers, the warm hot heat of the island’s climate and the gradient of navy and turquoise blue of the expansive Southern Caribbean Sea was the undeniable throughline of self-care. Deeper than that, self-care is community care, something I’ve never felt as pronounced as I did during my time in Curaçao. The healing power of the island is complemented by an element of neighborliness from locals that nurtures you and nourishes you in tandem with the island’s offerings.
Upon arriving at the Universal Alchemist, a restorative space offering high vibrational wellness and lifestyle products, my travel group and I were greeted with a hug from Elly. Little did we know, its warmth would pale in comparison to the workshop she hosted for us and how alive, seen, felt, and embraced each of us would end up feeling by the end.

Marerly “Elly” Sambo pictured at The Bar at Universal Alchemist.
Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Marerly “Elly” Sambo, the owner of Universal Alchemist, is a woman who wears many hats, including one of a microbiologist, alchemist, clinical and community herbalist, and yoni steaming specialist, just to name a few. As she led us through her farm to sit in a circle underneath a large mango tree on the property, we were able to see the many plants she grew there and the intentionality she put into cultivating healing and products from the earth.
To Elly, the earth not only grounds us, but it births us too.
At 150 years old, even the mango tree we gathered underneath was an ancestor. She encouraged us to see all plants as that. The warmth we felt in our initial greeting of Elly continued as we shared our stories as a group and encountered a similar embrace with each other. Elly revealed to the group the life-changing journey that brought her back to her home in Curaçao o after years of being away.
The circumstances involved a health scare where she was diagnosed with two benign tumors in her breasts. She declined to have a procedure to get them removed and decided to instead make a "potion" with fruits and ginger to make them shrink. However, within three months of relying on a holistic approach to healing, she learned that the tumors were completely gone.
She found that the more she focused on healing the physical symptoms, the more she healed her emotional and mental ones too. “I went very, very deep in my core, and I think that’s why the tumors are gone,” Elly explained to the group.
She also went on to share the importance of community care and kinship with other souls in healing, saying that the more she connected with herself, the more she connected with other people, and the more she connected with other people, the more she connected with herself. It was the art of well-being. Although she left Curaçao to pursue her career as a microbiologist in Holland, her healing work on the island created a pathway for a business rooted in expansion, self-cultivation, and high vibrational healing. She co-founded Universal Alchemist alongside Femi and has been there for eight years.
In addition to her story, our truths left each of us so easily with such openness and vulnerability, that you would think we’d known each other for years and not just a night. The end result felt like such a release, with the leaves of the trees waving in the wind around us like confirmation. And after each person shared their story, Elly stood up and pulled each of us into a hug, reinforcing release with a tangible action of safety.
Without even realizing it, our workshop with Elly had already begun, and it was the first way to tap into our happiness hormones. Through a hug, we unlocked oxytocin, the love hormone.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Effortlessly, we segued into the happiness hormone serotonin through a guided meditation practice led by Elly. Shortly after, we enjoyed a light snack underneath the mango tree prepared by Femi that was inspired by happiness hormones, healthy, and hearty. It would be the beginning of a few other farm-to-table light bites shared that morning that drew inspiration from each of the hormones our activities were inspired by. Between the food, the activities, and the feeling of kinship, the morning epitomized mindfulness. The balance was divine.
The next part of the workshop was the MOOD Table Elly created with a focus on joy. It was more hands-on and involved crafting a DIY happiness-infused oil incorporating essential oils. Mandarin and lemongrass spoke to me the most, so I used that for my body oil blend. Through essential oils, we were tapping into our endorphins. An important aspect of crafting our “potions” was giving our creations names because of the intention we speak over them and, therefore, over ourselves whenever we use them.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
One of my favorite parts was the tea crafting workshop, where we made our own tea blends from seven types of herbs, offering a variety of physical and emotional benefits that she provided for us that could all easily mix and match with each other. The name of the game was cultivating what you feel called to. By completing the task and doing self-care activities, we successfully accessed a feeling of dopamine.
A few of the herbs that stood out to me most were the Melissa plant, also known as lemon balm, known for its ability to restore clarity and reduce stress and anxiety; Moringa, which is a mood booster that facilitates harmony and Elly refers to it as a “master healer”; and Raspberry leaves which is a hormone balancer that can also be used for emotional disturbances. I named my three teas Eternal Sunshine, Heated, and Everything In Its Right Place, respectively.

Courtesy of Universal Alchemist
We ended our MOOD Table session by taking turns expressing gratitude for the transformative time we spent together that day and the healing we cultivated. We each answered for ourselves the question, “Are you happy?” We shared tears and hugs and created a safe space for one another to be and to let go. It further cemented a recurring message of a pivotal aspect of healing being about people outside of you just as much as it is about doing the work inside of you.
By the time we left the MOOD Table organized by Elly and Universal Alchemist, we weren’t strangers, we were sisters. We were renewed. We were healing through each other, and it was glorious.
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This article is in partnership with Lexus.
Luxury is often defined by someone else’s standards. But what if the finer things in life looked different through the lens of those crafting and shaping Black culture?
In Redefining Excellence, a two-episode short-form video series presented by Will Packer Media in collaboration with Lexus, we dare to broaden how we think about luxury. Here, it’s not just about the price tag. Luxury is a practice.
At its core, Redefining Excellence is a celebration of intention woven into every detail of how we live: our joy, our spaces, our craft, but also our rituals of care. These are the Black creators who not only give the best to themselves in what they build, but also pay it forward to the communities around them.
Through their vision, they embody the same precision and artistry that Lexus embraces when in pursuit of a higher standard, the Standard of Amazing.
In Episode 1, “Ingredients of Success,” the series follows chef, restaurateur, and Lexus Culinary Master Kwame Onwuachi, whose artistry is imbued with rich cultural storytelling. We see him wander purposefully through a garden, gently testing the ripeness of fresh fruits and vegetables. “Luxury isn’t about exclusivity. It’s about being intentional with your choices and craft,” he says.
The article continues after the video.
“Now, because of my work and the ingredients I use, luxury means something different. I am boldly setting a new standard of amazing and innovation.”
As he chops vegetables, plates vibrant dishes, and loads the finished product into the sleek Lexus LC Convertible, he continues, “For me, luxury means ingredients that carry memory… dining experiences and locations that honor the stories that raised me and feel like us.”
In Episode 2, “The Texture of Luxury,” the lens turns to founder and CEO of CurlyCon LA Ava Pearl, whose ingredients take a different form. As the trunk of her Lexus LX 700h lifts, she says, “When I think of luxury, it isn’t expensive, it’s expansive.” The scene shifts, and we watch Ava lay down a bouquet of fresh flowers upon entering her home before using aloe vera leaves to prepare gel by hand.
The article continues after the video.
“When I was younger, I thought luxury was something you bought. Now I know it’s about living up to a higher standard… Black women have always defined what’s next, setting the standard for beauty, luxury, and excellence.”
Like Kwame, she builds with intention, pouring care into the details, believing, like Lexus, that “luxury isn’t just a finish, it’s a standard. One that’s built to amaze.”
Through these stories, Redefining Excellence serves as a reminder that the journey is not just about the destination, but also the ingredients you choose along the way.
Watch both episodes now and learn more about how Kwame and Ava set their own standard of amazing.
Featured image by xoNecole/Will Packer Media
As Cuffing Season Steadily Approaches, What The Heck Is 'Winter Coating'?
Y’all, I ain’t got not one lie to tell you. With the way that this summer has gone in my world (check out “I've Been Estranged From My Mom For Years. She Died Last Week.” and “I Was Hired To Be An Online Life Coach. Then Got Scammed For $4K. Here's How To Avoid This.”), I am not surprised in the least that it caught me off guard that, once again, we are officially in the drafting portion of yet another cuffing season.
What I will say threw me a bit is that there are actual dating trends in cuffing (did y’all know that?), and one of them happens to be something called “winter coating.”
What do I personally think about cuffing season? I think it’s more than a notion and you should proceed with caution. As far as the subset of it that is known as winter coating, though — well, as you’re about to see, if you’re going to try to take it on, you absolutely need to know what you are getting yourself into because if you lie to yourself, it may not exactly give you the results that you were looking for.
Read on to see what I mean by that…
What Is the Science Behind Cuffing Season?
GiphyOkay, so first let’s get into if cuffing season is a “real thing” or not. Well, from what I’ve read and researched, apparently, someone should send an artist by the name of Musa Murchison a Cash App because, although she isn’t the originator of the phrase, she does seem to be the one who made it popular by shouting it out back in 2008 on her campus radio show. And yes, beyond the term being something that comes up on social media, like clockwork, right around this time every year, there does seem to be some real science behind it all — even if you want to chalk what I’m about to say up to being nothing more than mere coincidence.
What do I mean specifically? Well, being that cuffing season is (generally) all about finding someone to boo/bae up with before the weather drops below freezing, only to potentially break up with said-person once the temperatures start to rise again — did you know that dating apps tend to pick up on traffic between October and December (although the most popular dating app day is Dating Sunday which is in January)?
Did you also know that dating, in general, tends to happen the most between November and February? And, if you do decide to take what I just said seriously, it also shouldn’t surprise you that most children (in the US) are conceived during the fall and winter seasons as well. So yeah, at the very least, it does seem like people want to get “closer than close” the colder it gets outdoors.
And exactly why is that? Chile, you can read an article that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?” to put two and two together on that tip.
Cooler (and even rainier) weather. Pumpkins (which are a bona fide aphrodisiac; especially for men) being in abundance. Being indoors more often. The romance of the holiday season. Shifts in our DNA making us hornier (not to mention the fact that men find women more attractive during the colder months — no joke). All of these things literally help to create the perfect storm as far as cuffing season is concerned.
8 Interesting Straight-Up Facts About Cuffing Season
GiphyI’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned in one of these articles on here before that a web series I enjoyed watching last year is called Cuddle Season. You can currently watch it on — yep, you guessed it — Tubi; it’s all about some not-so-slim fellas adoring what the cooler weather brings them as far as female company is concerned. LOL. As I thought about it and all of the other intel that I just provided, I decided to further solidify the impact that cuffing season provides by bullet pointing a few other semi-fascinating facts.
1. 1 in 3 individuals find cuffing season to be a real phenomenon, although more millennials are caught up in the hype than those who are older than they are (by the way, 54 percent of Gen Zers find the holiday season to be the perfect time for finding a potential partner too).
2. Although around 30 percent of individuals think that cuffing season is mostly about staying warm, about 45 percent think it’s more about avoiding loneliness.
3. 60 percent of people who tend to feel lonely during the fall and winter will rely on dating apps to bring about some sort of mental and emotional relief.
4. Getting “cuffed up” has actually been proven to reduce anxiety and stress.
5. Not everyone thinks that cuffing season is (potentially) selfish or shallow. In fact, the most engagements transpire between November and January.
6. Know all of those holiday movies where single people fake being in a relationship during the holiday season in order to avoid any pressure from family members and friends? Apparently, it’s art imitating real life because one popular study revealed that a whopping 40 percent of singles have asked a friend to pretend to be their date during the holiday season.
7. Testosterone levels are higher in men during cooler months while being lower in hotter seasons. Women’s eggs are apparently in optimal condition during the fall and wintertime too.
8. Some researchers actually finding “cuffing” to be a means of literal survival due to the fact that (affectionate) touch lowers stress and, since stress is attached to health-related issues like digestive issues, a lower libido, irregular cycles, heart disease, headaches, depression and shortened longevity — well, yes, cuffing season could potentially be a lifesaver.
Okay, So What Is Winter Coating All About?
GiphyAight, so now that you know more about cuffing season than you possibly ever thought that you would, what in the world does the dating term “winter coating” come from? Well, the long-short of it is…what some of y’all call “spinning the block?” How I oftentimes see it is “hitting a cul-de-sac.” LOL. Yes chile, if you decide to participate in winter coating activities during cuffing season, what you’re essentially doing is making the intentional decision to either reach out to an ex or — respond to one who decides to call, text, DM or email you, seemingly out of the blue.
Now the interesting thing about winter coating is it’s not really something that dating experts are thrilled about. One reason is because if someone is in your past, you’ve got to remember that it got to that point for a purpose. Another issue is because, well, why did you/they wait until cuffing season to try and reach out/rekindle something?
Usually, the motive for that is because, oftentimes, the combination of nostalgia mixed with the feeling that love bombing is easier to do on an ex than anyone else. And while that indeed may be true, does that sound healthy and long-term beneficial to you? Yeah, me neither.
Yeah honestly, when you really stop to think about it, winter coating seems a lot like what we do with our actually winter gear — we cram it somewhere where we don’t have to deal with it until it gets cold outside and then we pull it out from a closet, hope chest or under our bed to use it all (and up) for a couple of months — until we don’t need it anymore…and then we discard it all over again. SMDH.
So, if you’re someone who is an avid fan or big-time participant of cuffing season, before you decide to bring winter coating into the mix, really ponder if it’s a good idea or wise decision — because doing something that keeps you warm for a few weeks only for it to turn you cold afterwards…that typically turns out to be more counterproductive than anything else.
5 Tips for Guarding Your Heart (and Perhaps Genitalia) During Cuffing Season
GiphyMatter of fact, while we’re on the topic of cuffing season overall, let me share a few tips to keep you as unscathed as possible, period:
1. To thine own self be true. It’s a French philosopher by the name of Jean de La Bruyère who once said, “It's motive alone which gives character to the actions of men.” You know, the reason why a lot of people trip their own selves up in life is because they aren’t being honest with themselves about WHY they do the things that they do. That said, if you’re going into cuffing season just to have someone to cuddle up and watch Hallmark movies with until spring — have at it.
However, if you’re using cuffing season in hopes of getting something more out of it, SAY THAT. The more honest you are with yourself about your intentions, the less disappointed, disillusioned or hurt you will be…regardless of how things may play out in the end. You were genuine. Karma has taken note.
2. Think about your short and long-term (relational) goals. Let’s be real — for most people, cuffing season is a short-term goal. So, if you want something that is fleeting, do you. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something more meaningful, playing all of the games that come with cuffing season is not going to be your best bet — especially when it comes to the whole winter coating thing.
Yeah, please keep that in mind as you and your ex are taking a walk down memory lane because, more times than not? It’s probably going to lead to (another) dead end. If not immediately…eventually. Bottom line with this one: cuffing season only thinks about the present. Make sure that you also factor in your future.
3. If he’s your ex, don’t sugarcoat why. I’m not the person who thinks that an ex can’t be upcycled — just make sure that you aren’t merely recycling him. The difference? Recycling is using something old (or used) all over again. Upcycling is taking something old (or used) and making it better. That said, sometimes time gives people the opportunity to grow and that can make the “take two” of a relationship better.
Just make sure that if you are entertaining getting back with an ex that you are real with yourself about why the relationship ended to begin with. If you see signs of that mess/drama/ridiculousness still hovering around — cuffing season or not, you should probably take a pass. Why let him infiltrate your holiday season with some bullshishery that you will carry with you for years to come? Girl, uh-uh.
4. DO NOT follow your heart. If you’ve read enough of my relational content, you know that I can’t stand the motto, “Follow your heart”. The fact that it’s not biblical should be reason enough — and it’s not because Jeremiah 17:9-10 says that the heart is deceitful and that’s because emotions can indeed cause you to think/believe that something is one way when it may indeed be something else. And so, as you go into cuffing season this year, follow facts and reality.
That is biblical too: “It’s best to stay in touch with both sides of an issue. A person who fears God deals responsibly with all of reality, not just a piece of it.” (Ecclesiastes 7:18 — Message) In other words, if how you feel is conflicting with what you see — pause, ponder and reflect.
5. Avoid peer (and social media) pressure as best you can. I don’t even know if people would give a damn (at least so much) about cuffing season if social media didn’t talk about it so much. And don’t even get me started on just like peer pressure can get kids and teens to go against their core values and/or participate in risky behavior, it can impact adults in a similar fashion.
Bottom line with this point: Don’t engage in cuffing season or winter coating just because you see other people doing it. If your mind, body and spirit are telling you that it’s not what’s best for you — TAP OUT. You’ll be just fine.
____
Winter coating. Hmph.
Your best bet: Buy one to wear and avoid this dating trend.
The former is an investment. Chances are the latter is a complete waste (of time).
Just sayin’.
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