As a certified Life Coach aka the Single Girls Life Coach, Reka Robinson wants women to discover their worth. She is the host of Single You "The Podcast" and the founder of Single You Academy, an online community and resource for women. After experiencing a break-up from a toxic relationship in the year 2017, Reka was devastated. She wanted to find healing and made it a priority for herself to become more spiritually, mentally, and emotionally aligned. After doing some inner self-work, she realized that this particular break-up was something she needed to go through to tap into her purpose. It was a blessing in disguise.
"I want to emphasize that there is beauty in marriage, but there is also beauty in being single. Let's tell the truth, singleness is not a punishment."
Reka Robinson, now two years as a solo entrepreneur, understands what it means to use her story to help others. For Reka, finding balance is not about only focusing on the good, but using past pain to reach a higher version of yourself. Society likes to emphasize #relationshipgoals and tie it to your success as a woman, but what about #selflovegoals? It is important to remember that, as women, we are capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to because we are more than enough outside of our relationships. Reka Robinson shows women that regardless of your relationship status, finding that balance in your life starts with YOU first.
For this installment of "Finding Balance", xoNecole had the chance to speak with 'Living Single' advocate Reka Robinson about embracing the beauty of singleness, tapping into her purpose from pain, and the power women have within themselves.
Courtesy of Reka
"I learned what God meant when he said he was going to use my story. God wants other women to feel seen from my story, just like I feel seen in other women's stories."
xoNecole: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
Reka Robinson: It has definitely been a journey with figuring out the balance. After my break-up, I started my healing journey. During my healing, I was also working full-time doing morning radio. There came this moment when there was a shift in me. I was getting this feeling that morning radio may not be for me anymore. This feeling disrupted my sleep patterns and it came off in how I felt when I would show up to work. I just knew it was no longer fulfilling for me. So I prayed about it and made the decision to make a change. It was time to close a door and open a new one for what God chose me to do. My quote for this year is, "Obedience and execution of strategy is my job. The outcome is God's."
xoNecole: What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
Reka: I get up at around 9:00 a.m. To start my day, I either put on a sermon or do bible study. I try to stay away from my phone and social media as much as possible in the morning. So the two most important things are to spend time with God and/or move my body. Going into the afternoon, I intentionally do not take any client calls until 1:00 p.m. So in the afternoon, I am in work mode, whether it is answering emails, speaking with clients, or working on social media strategies. I usually end the work part of the day at around 7:30-8:00 p.m.
xoNecole: How do you wind down at night?
Reka: I LOVE candles. I love the orange and yellow glow that candles bring to a room. I light my candles and I have a humidifier that I like to set up. Watching the steam is very therapeutic for me. But after that, I give myself a moment of gratitude. I thank God for getting me through another day and I celebrate myself for accomplishing what I wanted to get done for that day. Scratching things off of my to-do list is everything.
xoNecole: Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
Reka: I read A LOT. After my break-up, I became hungry for knowledge. I have been able to read up to 20 books within a year. So reading for me is really my best self-care practice. Because with knowledge, you can change your whole life.
xoNecole: What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
Reka: There is this quote that I saw saying, "If you do not have 5-10 minutes for yourself a day, then you don't have a life." You have to find that moment in your day that is dedicated to you. When you are super busy and you are super stressed, our bodies harbor that. Everything is connected and when you find that time to sit and be still, you will see the difference in yourself slowly but surely.
Courtesy of Reka
"I give myself a moment of gratitude. I thank God for getting me through another day and I celebrate myself for accomplishing what I wanted to get done for that day. Scratching things off of my to-do list is everything."
xoNecole: How do you find balance with:
Friends?
Reka: Everything in my life, I feel is scheduled [laughs]. I have really good friends that are also solo entrepreneurs. So what we like to do is schedule meetups on Clubhouse to talk about different topics or we have COVID-safe girls' nights where we celebrate each other and catch up. I think it is important to be intentional with groups of women and I am really happy with my friendships right now.
Love/Relationships?
Reka: I am not actively dating right now. But this is what I have to say about this topic: I am focusing on my business and really enjoy my singleness. My prayer to God is, "OK listen God, your sons down here, they need your help [laughs]. I don't need any distractions, but if you want me to be with somebody, hide me from everyone else." I want to know the moment that I am presented to him, he was meant to be presented to me.
Health? Do you cook or eat out often?
Reka: I find no joy in cooking. That is not my ministry at all [laughs]. I honestly have spent so much money eating out. But recently, I started intermittent fasting and it was one of the best decisions I've made. I started using my fasting as a way to connect with God more and more clarity on what is next for me. I want to strengthen my spirituality and stay focused.
xoNecole: When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
Reka: The quality of your life is determined by the questions you ask it. Figuring out where this feeling is coming from and why you are feeling this way is so powerful. I talk to myself a lot and ask myself questions when I feel that anxiety. Getting to the root of why you are actually reacting to certain things, you need to walk yourself through that.
xoNecole: Honestly, what does success mean to you?/What does happiness mean to you?
Reka: Success to me is doing the things you said you want to do. I have my checklist and when I get to cross that line through a task, I am just so proud of myself. Like, YOU DID THAT GIRL [smiles]. I had to stop tying my identity to my job when I finally left it. I am so much more than my job. Me being able to complete the things I want to do in my own way is success, which also can tie into happiness. Happiness comes from that freedom to do exactly what you want to do and get things done.
To learn more about Reka, you follow her on IG here. You can also check out the Single You podcast here.
Featured image courtesy of Reka Robinson
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Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
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CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
LibraCoveteur
LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
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CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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Certain zodiac signs feel more connected to gifts that are more nostalgic or sentimental, and that make them feel like you have been listening. For example, Cancer loves all things vintage and would love a gift that has a history or that reminds them of theirs. A Libra, on the other hand, is more geared toward luxury items and would feel loved by receiving something luxurious and pricey, and is more focused on the aesthetically pleasing aspect of the gift.
Aries, a fire sign that is independent and is usually the one doing the gift-giving for themselves, would find appreciation in a gift that is unique, one-of-a-kind, and that reflects their personality.
When we look at the elements in Astrology, we are talking about fire signs, earth signs, air signs, and water signs. Each element has different needs, interests, and outlooks and can be identified through the things they love. Fire signs resonate with exciting and unique gifts, whereas water signs need something that will connect to them emotionally over all else. Earth signs value gifts that they feel like you took your time choosing, and air signs love gifts that can provide more value or add to their lives.
Let’s look at the perfect gift guide for the zodiac signs, and what you should look for when doing your holiday shopping this year:
Holiday Gift Ideas for Fire Signs
Nobody knows themselves and loves themselves like a fire sign does. The perfect gift for this confident soul involves something personalized, custom, or that resonates with their fiery personality. Fire signs love color, patterns, and more specifically, things that no one else has or that are hard to get.
This is a sign you want to plan ahead for this holiday season, and you should gift them something that reminds them of how special and unique they are.
Holiday Gift Ideas for Earth Signs
Earth signs value what is practical, and that includes their gifts. These are signs that you should think about if they are going to use, and that would make their life easier in some way. Earth signs are the hard-working signs of the zodiac and need a gift that is going to make sense for their everyday life. They also love the more earthy and natural gifts like crystals and gemstones, organic items, candles, sustainable products, and shopping from small businesses they support.
Holiday Gift Ideas for Air Signs
Air signs value accumulating assets and prize possessions. They usually have impeccable taste, and they expect the same type of attention to detail with the gifts they receive. They are less sentimental signs, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be shown how much they are loved; they just want to be shown in a more beautiful and aesthetically pleasing way.
Air signs have the perfect balance of cool and chic, intelligent and creative, and your gifts should reflect that.
Holiday Gift Ideas for Water Signs
Water signs are ruled by their emotions and value gifts that have meaning. They want to know that you thought about their heart and the things that they love, as they would do the same for you. Water signs love a gift that has history and that gives them a sense of nostalgia or meaning. They also take value in gifts of adornment like jewelry, interior design pieces, and things they can look at and be reminded of daily.
These are signs you want to get creative with when gift-giving, and you should give them something that has a story.
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