xoNecole Launches The Coachella Of Girls’ Night Ins: Pajamas & Lipstick
On Friday, April 19, xoNecole launched its new event series: Pajamas & Lipstick: A Girls' Night in Experience. The four-hour event featured a one-of-a-kind photo booth experience, a fireside chat, and pampering and reflexology stations with massages that will have you calling home to your mama.
90's and 2000's jams from DJ Ohso filled the room at Upstairs Atlanta, intensifying the Coachella vibes and turning the floor into a Soul Train line. The ambiance created by the dimly lit candles, floor cushions, cactuses, and floral tepees, created an atmosphere where women could relax, dance, and let loose.
Whether guests arrived solo or with a group of friends, the Find The Guest icebreaker game helped attendees meet and bond with each other which set the tone for the rest of the night.
Throughout the evening, guests indulged in cocktails, light bites, and desserts almost too cute to eat while snapping Insta worthy pics in the interactive photo booth.
After a few sips of Ketel One's signature cocktails, attendees were ready for a fireside chat hosted by founder Necole Kane, radio personality Tracy G., and correspondent Dana Blair. The dynamic created amongst the hosts and their ability to tackle raw conversations on relationship and sex generated a ton of laughter and made a few men working the bar listen intently.
The hosts' insightful conversation on whether independent women could learn to submit in their relationship left women pondering on current and past lovers.
Tracy's joyful spirit and candid commentary on everything from being a reformed cheater to penis sizes left the crowd contemplating, does size really matter? The consensus amongst the room was crystal clear. In 2019, size matters but foreplay matters way more. While women debated amongst themselves, the fun was just heating up on stage.
It was very clear throughout the night that Tracy G is someone who is unapologetic about sharing her truth with the world in hopes that the next woman can gain something through her experiences. The room was whisper-quiet as she revealed her journey to finding love and how it began with cleansing herself in a year of celibacy. "For a period of time, I felt like lust had a leash on me in a sense, and I was using the male gaze as a form of validation," she shared. "...Celibacy helped me to just understand who I was beginning with a spirit before I even decided to look at myself as a woman."
When an attendee jokingly revealed she'd choose a guy working at McDonald's that puts it down in the bedroom over a financially stable guy with bad sex, Tracy reminded the women in the audience that as boss women, their role is to teach:
Women are some of the best teachers on the planet. I feel like love can be replaced with other terms and if you know how to pleasure yourself, what is wrong with directing? You want to be a boss but you can't tell a ***** what to do? The reason why the sex is bomb is because another woman taught him.
Special guest and five-time gold medalist Sanya Richards-Ross shared her experience as a married woman juggling a demanding career and a toddler. Her perspective allowed guests to see a different side of sex and relationships. She expressed to women that sex does change after marriage, and most definitely after having children. She also allowed the audience to dive deep into her story when she talked about adjusting from life as an Olympic athlete to full-time mother and entrepreneur. Her candor allowed guest to laugh and empathize with her journey.
"I've been very blessed to find a man who wants to be married to a Beyonce or a Michelle Obama. It fills him up to see me walking in my purpose," Sanya told the audience.
Towards the end of the evening, guests were in for a surprise when their names were pulled at random to answer spicy questions on sex and dating via the Pajamas & Lipstick envelope game. At check-in, each guest was given a wristband to indicate their relationship status: single (pink), in a relationship (blue), married (purple), it's complicated (yellow), and their status corresponded with the envelope they were able to choose from.
Lining the wall behind the naked teepee were brightly colored envelopes stuffed with questions to make your mouth drop! For example, would you date a rich man with bad sex or a financially unstable man with amazing sex?
To top off the night, attendees left with swag bags filled with products by Kiss nails, Creme of Nature, Posh Candle Co., The Honey Pot Company, and The Lip Bar.
To say the evening was a memorable one, would be an understatement. It was an experience curated to help women feel empowered in their personal lives.
Fortunately, for those who were unable to attend, Pajamas & Lipstick is coming back bigger, better, and to a city near you. Take a peek at a preview of the night below:
xoNecole Launches PAJAMAS & LIPSTICK: GIRLS NIGHT INyoutu.be
To stay up-to-date, follow Pajamas & Lipstick on Instagram @pajamasandlipstick.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Stress Awareness Month: Sneaky Workplace Triggers Affecting Black Women, And How To Cope
We all know about the major stress triggers of everyday life, from relationship woes to monthly bills to unexpected emergencies, but there are small, subtle triggers that impact Black women in a big way, especially when it comes to work. It’s good to be aware of these sneaky stressors in order to maximize your day and find ways to incorporate solutions into your self-care routines.
Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
valentinrussanov/Getty Images
How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Charday Penn/Getty Images