After a month full of historical moments and memorials, of extreme highs and ground-shaking lows, the Own The Shift Wellness Event on Saturday was perfectly timed to shift my mindset and energies for 2021. Centered around topics ranging from money management to wellness to finding your voice, tangible and inspiring takeaways were shared amongst boss women to channel the readiness to step fully into owning the next transition of self and wealth. For me and hundreds of other ladies, it was the mental reset needed to tackle the rest of the year. From the inspiring opening statements from xoNecole founder Necole Kaneto the bevy of gems dropped from each speaker to the infectious laugh of Gia Peppers; Own The Shift was a phenomenal event to start this year.
To "own the shift" is to possess a curiosity within yourself, the courage to not ignore what you discover, and the unshakeable faith to stand firm in what you need to get what you want in life. Or, as host and multimedia journalist Gia Peppers put it, "learning how to own my shift as I walk into this next chapter (of life and career)." Across the range of panelists, we saw common themes about realizations, intentions, and dreams manifesting come into play. It was two hours of impactful, soulful, and dedicated advice to truly empower and motivate like-minded women. My notebook is filled with all the gems I wanted to savor, but here are the biggest takeaways I received from the #OwnTheShift event!
The Fundamentals of Awareness and Affirmation-Setting
Wellness Strategist Toni Jones shared several keys on how to own your shift through affirmations, honesty, and patience. The first step is being aware of your design to operate more healthily. By honing in on that awareness, you can find the discouraging narratives that are limiting the divine orchestration for what's possible in your lives. According to Toni, it's only after those steps that you can truly begin to own your shift.
Toni dropped so many gems in the first 30 minutes, along with making excellent analogies for how to think of yourself - especially when marketing and such. What is your campaign? How do we advertise to ourselves? You have to create affirmations that are true to you, and you alone. You have to give yourself new content to focus on, a new narrative to derive from. It's only by creating those intricate campaigns for ourselves that we can own the shift and step into our greatness.
"How do we create our own marketing campaigns for our greatness, for our potential, for our possibilities?"
Owning Your Genius + Prioritizing Your Needs
It's often said you need to shift your mindset to make and maintain a certain level of wealth, especially if you didn't grow up around money. But financial expert Tonya Rapley took it one step further and emphasized the importance of knowing your genius and prioritizing your financial needs to build and scale wealth. During Saturday's event, Tonya explained why a major part of "owning your shift" is understanding your particular zone of genius is, and understanding what you can and cannot learn. If you don't understand what level you're at, you won't be able to find successful resources to scale your business. As Tonya points out, a great first step is to find a coach who specializes in your niche and has worked with individuals who are in your shoes.
Once you fully understand your strengths and weaknesses personally and professionally, you can then implement tactics to achieve your business goals. At that point, prioritizing your needs against those goals will help to scale and maintain your business and wealth.
"If you have more than three goals (for the year), then you have none. You can't do it all."
The Power of Equanimity
For me, the word "equanimity" has followed me around since roughly 2017, when Dave Chappelle aptly named his comeback comedy special, Equanimity and The Bird Revelation. So, when best-selling author Lalah Delia encouraged hundreds of ladies to lean into more equanimity in 2021, I felt my entire soul fill up.
Equanimity is defined as the "evenness of mind especially under stress". It's truly an ethereal state of mind that disconnects from the chaos of life and centers the mind on peace and harmony. For Lalah Delia, it is the mindset that has helped her own the shift in her own life, especially with the uncertainty of 2020. It is something we all can tap into and maintain for ourselves; an aspect of life that is completely self-owned. The everyday practice of equanimity trains our physical bodies to understand that peace doesn't come from external outcomes like we are trained to believe. It allows us to practice a higher power of alignment and builds the fundamental skill of balancing ourselves.
"No matter how the energy of stress enters into your energy field, you're able to tap into equanimity, which means poise, composure, inner peace, and balance."
For more amazing experiences like this one, follow xoNecole on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and visit www.xoNecole.com! Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
There’s caviar, and then there’s Black-owned caviar. With the recent explosion of #CaviarTikTok, this luxury delicacy seems to be everywhere these days. I can’t scroll through my feed without seeing our favorite celebs and influencers diving headfirst into extravagant caviar spreads.
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
@caviardreamkendra so you’ve got your Caviar Dream…now what to eat it with? i’ve probably had cavi with just about anything you can imagine at this point {topped some fried cheese curds with my California White a few months ago and it was 💥} but i gotta say that i have some on my scrambled eggs every week 😌 no need to get fancy — just scramble your eggs however you usually do and scoop that cavi right on top 🤤 you can upgrade from there in a few ways: ✨ add a dollop of crème frâiche {see my previous video for a 30 second make-at-home recipe} ✨ sprinkle some chopped chives or green onions on top ✨ put the whole caviar / scrambled egg situation on a toasted + buttered bagel, croissant or onion bun! p.s.: i love our Smoked Trout Roe with scrambled eggs too 💖 if you try any of these combos, let me know what you think! 🩵💭✨👩🏽🍳 #CaviarDream #caviarforthepeople #putsomecaviaronit #caviar #caviartok #fyp #caviarparty #caviarnight #affordableluxury #chicagotiktok #homecooking #galentines #valentinesday #tiktokuniversity #cooking #easyrecipe #caviar101
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Peter Dazeley/ Getty Images