The 'Great Resignation': Black Women Share Why They Left Their Jobs To Find Fulfillment
There's this phenomenon that's being talked about on social media as well as in the news, where a wave of people have sparked what is now being called the "Great Resignation." Professionals have been chucking the deuces to working their 9-to-5s and saying to hell with pandemic-era fear and hesitation. This recent wave, which includes at least 4.3 million workers, has been led by—you guessed it—women, who have been quitting their jobs at a higher rate than men.
And here are some telling tidbits about the who, what, where, when and why of it all: Harvard Business Review reports that resignation numbers are the highest in the healthcare and tech industries, both areas where high levels of stress came in with the increased demand during and after the pandemic. Rates are also high among mid-career workers (Hey, all my geriatric millennials! Heeey!) who perhaps have "reached a breaking point" and are rethinking career and life goals.
Let's get into a few real-life stories of Black women who took the plunge to find success and fulfillment, redefine balance, and get to the bag in ways that shift the narrative.
Allyssa resigned from her job as a VP in marketing after more than a decade managing multimillion-dollar campaigns for global beauty and luxury brands. She officially launched her company, Meg & Munro, in September 2020 and hasn't looked back since. "I left because I began to notice that despite the resounding success, I was frequently being overlooked as a Black consumer of those brands and as a key strategist on the marketing team," Alyssa says. "With the goal of bringing more inclusivity to the marketing field, I launched a marketing and communications agency for beauty and lifestyle brands."
She held a passion to tap into new audiences and offer her skills on her own terms while expanding the landscape of brand awareness. "With the growing attention to the multicultural beauty and personal care category in the height of the pandemic, many brands needed help reaching the same diverse consumers they once ignored," she added. "Through public relations, social media, and influencer partnerships, my agency drives visibility, interest, and demand for brands aiming to reach multicultural consumers."
"Surprisingly, the pandemic allowed me to double down on my decision to leave my full-time marketing position. I saw how uncertain things were in the workplace and thought it was a better use of my time and talents to grow my own business."
Allyssa has enjoyed her new normal after taking the leap. "I now experience less anxiety (no more Sunday Scaries!) and have a lot more ownership over my work and time," she says. "Since launching, we have worked with dozens of beauty and lifestyle brands and creators including Converse Shoes, Footlocker, Anderson Bluu, Her Agenda, Strange Bird Beauty, Avocurl, and Yawoni just to name a few. Our work and clients have also appeared on The View and in Glamour, Forbes, Refinery29, Good Housekeeping, Hypebeast, Goop, and much more!"
For others who might be pausing their efforts to go forward with leaving their jobs, especially at a prime time when millions of companies and professionals are reevaluating strategies and goals, she urges planning and patience. "Leverage your network. It's important to communicate your values and let others know your goals for starting a business. Second, it's very important to plan your finances and strategy for making money within the first few years of operating. It takes time to start seeing returns in business, and it will be difficult to scale and/or make sound business decisions if you're constantly worrying about finances."
Melissa decided to go full-time with her love for makeup artistry last November, after slowly growing her business as a side hustle. "I was working as an underwriting analyst for an insurance company, and my part-time business was starting to require more of my time," she recalls. "The more it grew the more I realized that's where my passion was. My career was no longer fulfilling. In addition to not feeling fulfilled in my career, I had a boss that micromanaged everything I did."
"I felt overwhelmed, undervalued, and drained. My 9-to-5 was holding me back from reaching my full potential. My boss would often deny my PTO requests and when he did approve my time off, I would feel the retaliation when I returned to work."
The final straw for Melissa was when she took approved PTO for a big wedding booking, and upon returning to the office, was met with an abrupt meeting request. "It was about my work and more micromanaging. In that moment I knew I couldn't do it for another day. I submitted my resignation letter in the middle of a pandemic not sure what would happen next."
Stepping up her game in building MeMa Creations and gaining new clientele seemed like a natural next step for Melissa. "That feeling of uncertainty—not knowing what tomorrow may bring—made me feel so uneasy, but it also made my decision to leave very clear. I didn't want to continue putting all my time and efforts into a corporation that didn't value me. I was tired of sacrificing my own dreams for someone else's dream."
Since going full-time with her business she has enjoyed a level of success that she can be proud of. "I have done makeup for more than 60 weddings, in addition to my regular clients," she says. "I also offer virtual makeup lessons and one-on-one in-person makeup lessons. My work has been published in two major magazines in less than a year, and I am launching my makeup products before the end of the year."
Tracy started her firm in June 2020 as a pivot due to the pandemic. She'd worked for a decade in the finance industry and had taken a leap of faith to pursue a career as a retail fashion buyer and independent image consultant. "The ongoing freelancing that I was doing lessened significantly in early 2020, but as opportunities came back, I was not comfortable doing image consulting due to the nature of the work. It was impossible to be socially distant," she said. "So when an opportunity for PR management arose, I leaned into it and grew it knowing I needed to replace my income."
Tracy's reputation preceded her, and she was able to help a previous image consulting client to help with her public image via PR management. That was when she says, Tracy Aliche Consulting really took off. "I took on the challenge, hit the ground running, and soon attracted opportunities to do the same for other entrepreneurs as a result of all the press I was able to secure. We now have a roster of five full-time clients, and the rise has been truly exhilarating!"
For others considering quitting their day jobs to pursue a new career or journey, Tracy suggests investing time in a bit of self-actualization. "One of the most important things to consider before leaving a job is being honest with yourself about what you're willing and not willing to sacrifice to reach your end goal," she adds. "What are you willing to give up? Would you give up your cozy apartment if it meant being able to sustain financially after leaving the workforce? If you insist on maintaining your current lifestyle as is, then creating a realistic timeline, building a financial safety net, and having a fully fleshed-out backup plan are non-negotiables. I think it's important to know your 'why.'"
Watchen Nyanue's journey in transitioning from a 9-to-5 to entrepreneurship during the Great Resignation has a positive twist. She'd been leading a podcast that was the launchpad for her brand, all while working full-time as a WNBA executive. "My job was actually amazing, but I knew that, for the sake of my reputation and for the work I'd put in, I didn't want to start letting the quality of my work drop to pursue something else and ruin the reputation I'd already built in decades of work. My company was literally behind me 100%. They knew when the podcast launched, and they are [actually] one of my clients today."
Her platform, I Choose The Ladder, helps large corporations develop and retain their high-performing Black female talent, a service that came in high demand.
"The pandemic, at least for me, was a gift and a curse. The time that we had at home gave me some time to assess what I wanted to be spending my time doing and who I wanted to be spending my time with. And because I started planting the seed already, the jump wasn't as scary as I thought it would be."
She offers some key advice for women who are thinking about joining the wave. "First I would encourage folks to ask, 'Is it the company you work for, the person you work for or is it corporate America?' A lot of times we make large decisions based on really small factors. Maybe the company that you work for is not the best fit for what you're trying to do. That doesn't mean there's not a company that can meet your needs."
Another key piece of advice: "A lot of people go to entrepreneurship because they're running from something not because they're running to something. If you're running from a job and all of the chaos that you think might be in corporate, a lot of those things still exist in entrepreneurship. And if you have not figured out how to navigate [challenges] while on someone else's dime, it's going to be an even steeper, more expensive, more stressful, and lonely learning curve. So make sure you're running to entrepreneurship, not just from corporate America."
Featured image via Getty Images
- Should I Quit My Job During Pandemic? - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- How To Write A Resignation Letter - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- Kamala Harris Thinks Women Not Returning To The Workforce Is A ... ›
- Why Black Women Still Haven’t Rebounded From Pandemic Job Losses - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Quit Your Job To Become An Entrepreneur - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
Giphy
Unmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
Giphy
Okay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
Giphy
If off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
Giphy
A friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
Giphy
It’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
Giphy
I once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Whew. Did you know that somewhere around 122 million Americans travel during the holiday season? Listen, I went to see my godbabies this past September and got caught up in a crazy ass traffic jam at BNA (the Nashville airport) that damn near has me considering air travel ever again — especially during this time of the year.
Besides, it’s not like it’s a written rule that you have to travel over the holidays. In fact, if you want to play it chill this year, why not enjoy a staycation instead? Although it might seem like it’s a “poor man’s compromise,” as you’re about to see, it actually…isn’t.
1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
Giphy
There is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
Giphy
While I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
Giphy
There really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
Giphy
I’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
Giphy
One thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
Giphy
Just like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
Giphy
If nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
Giphy
Being that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
Giphy
One of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
Giphy
Another one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
Featured image by Shutterstock







