Although I already know that some of y'all are gonna make a traditional Thanksgiving happen, come hell or highwater, pandemic or not, if you're someone who, whether it's due to social distancing preferences, your finances being on the fritz or both, would prefer to be way more low-key this year, a twist that you can put on Thanksgiving festivities, is to stay home with your boo and make a romantic day and night out of it.
It's pretty easy to pull off and doesn't have to cost you much money at all. In fact, you might just check out my 10 tips and then come to the conclusion that you should've been observing Thanksgiving, exactly in this fashion, all along.
1. Prepare the Meal Two Days Before
Out of all of the romantic tips that I offer in this article, this might be the best one. Thanks (yet no thanks) to how romantic movies typically present things, sometimes we fail to forget that romance can—and should—have a level of practicality to it.
That said, I don't know anyone who would be in the mood to be all lovey-dovey-mushy after spending all day long in the kitchen. That's why my first recommendation would be to prepare your Thanksgiving meal a couple of days before the holiday itself. That way, all you'll have to do on Thursday is heat up the food and set the table. Now how awesome is that?
2. Get Up Late and Have Breakfast in Bed
Another reason why I highly recommend preparing your Thanksgiving dinner ahead of time is so you won't have to get up early on Thanksgiving Day. It takes roughly 13 minutes per pound for a turkey alone to bake, so if you wait until Thursday to cook, you are gonna have to get up early, just to prep your bird alone. But if your food is already basically ready, you and yours can sleep in, watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and have something that I recently happened upon that is a definite decadent palate game-changer! What do y'all know about Apple Pie Stuffed French Toast (recipe is here)? You know what they say—the smoother your day begins, the easier your day will go. Some extra zzz's, a late breakfast and perhaps even some morning sex can truly make this Thanksgiving one of the best yet!
3. Go All Out on the Table Décor
When it comes to having a romantic Thanksgiving dinner, if there's one area where I think you should definitely go all out, it's when it comes to how you decorate your table. Use a linen or lace tablecloth. Pull out your finest plates and wine glasses. How about a couple of linen napkins and a centerpiece for the table (even if it's just some roses in a fishbowl)? Basically, set your table to look like a five-star restaurant. Ambiance is key when you want to be as romantic as possible.
Speaking of ideas for your table, one I saw, that I thought was simply beautiful, featured some champagne flutes that were turned upside down and had a flower (without the stem) underneath the glass. Then, the base of each glass had a tealight candle on the top of it. Easy, inexpensive and very romantic too.
4. Use Nothing but Scented Soy Candles for Your Lighting
Did you know that there's a science behind why a lot of us find candlelight to be so wonderful? It's because the flame of the candle is able to reduce stress and put us into a meditative state. Plus, it's sexy as all get out. So, when you're out making your runs, stop by a local arts and crafts store (avoid Hobby Lobby if you can; they are big time Trump supporters) and get yourself a couple of packets of soy (soy lasts longer and burns cleaner) scented tea lights or even some taper candles (they're the long ones)—or both. Then, once everything is out on the table, light the candles and turn out all of the overhead lighting. Good luck making it through dinner without moving all of the dishes out of the way and getting on the table yourself with that kind of setup.
As far as scents that will totally put you in the romantic mood—rose, vanilla, sandalwood, jasmine, lavender, cinnamon and pumpkin are all great libido-boosting suggestions.
5. Play Some Romantic Music in the Background
Earlier this year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "Before You Pull Out Your Playlist, This Is How Music Affects Your Sex Life". One of the things I mentioned is the fact that music has the ability to affect us in the same way that food and sex does. Well, since I'm hoping that you'll get plenty of food and coitus before Thanksgiving Day is over, find a music playlist that can serve as the soundtrack for what you have in mind. You can never go wrong with 90s R&B (like…ever) yet whatever you decide, just make sure that it's super soft, sexy and sensual.
6. Dress Way Up or WAY DOWN
I've been teasing my godchildren's mother because, sometimes when I'm doing a Google Hangout call with my babies, I notice that the youngest one (who is just about a year-and-a-half) oftentimes looks like she's dressed for church. Whenever I ask her mom what the heck is going on, she usually says something along the lines of, "Girl, this pandemic has kept her from being able to wear all of these clothes. She's gonna wear them somewhere."
2020 has caused us all to become more interested in sweatpants and tees than probably ever before. So, why not use this Thanksgiving as an opportunity to dress to the nines? I mean going way past dressy casual; look like you're going to a ball—you in a formal dress with your man in his finest suit 'n all. Or, go to the total other extreme and wear barely nothing at all. A married male friend of mine once said to me that he prefers lingerie outside of sex. "When a woman only puts lingerie on right before sex, it feels like she's saying that's the only time we want to see her that way. When it's time to get it in, I want my wife to be naked. Lingerie just to lounge in is what's sexy AF to me." Enjoying dinner in a black lace teddy by candlelight with some Joe playing in the background? C'mon, y'all.
7. Serve Aphrodisiac Appetizers
Some foods are considered to be aphrodisiacs because they balance out our hormones and/or increase blood circulation to our nether regions and/or they help to keep us in a good mood. While turkey itself is actually a food that can turn you and yours on (due to the zinc that's in it and zinc increases our sex drive), whether you decide to go all out on the menu or you end up ordering some takeout Chinese or a pizza, consider enjoying some appetizers that have an aphrodisiac twist to 'em. The Roasted Root is a site that actually features a whopping 60 recipes that all feature aphrodisiac ingredients. You can check them out here.
8. Offer Up “Why I’m So Thankful for You” Toasts
As a 'words of affirmation' (and physical touch) person myself, I wasn't shocked in the least when I read that, according to science, receiving affirmations and affirming others are important because they motivate us, encourage us, and help us to overcome any negativity that may try and bring us down. Between politics and this pandemic, if anything tried to push us to our absolute breaking point, it was 2020, and if there was ever a time when you may have been more critical towards your partner, this year may have been it. Still, after all is said and done, with only a few more weeks before a new year, you're still together and that is something to truly celebrate.
One way to do that is for you both to think about the things that you are truly grateful for; not "in general" but when it comes to your partner specifically. What do you appreciate when it comes to their approach to the relationship? What do you adore about their personality? What are you attracted to on the physical and sexual tip? What have they done to make you a better person? Why do you still choose them, again and again? After sharing the answers to these kinds of questions, toast one another. Your relationship has withstood a season that other couples did not. BE. GRATEFUL.
9. Have a Romantic Movie Night
I know it's pretty traditional to watch football on Thanksgiving. Eh, I'm not sure how romantic that move is, though. An alternative can be to watch a romantic movie together instead; something that you both wanna watch (because, even as a woman, some of these Hallmark movies and rom-coms can be a bit…much). It could be a film that you both watched together on your first date, something that brings back feels of nostalgia for you both (Love Jones never gets old for me), or something that you've never seen before so that the two of you can create some new memories together. It's a great way to wind down, enjoy some pomegranate (which is an aphrodisiac) vodka, and cuddle up together.
10. Take Dessert into the Bedroom
I'm pretty sure there's a peach cobbler, red velvet cake or chocolate brownies somewhere in that kitchen, right? Put it all on a tray and take it into your bedroom, along with some spicy hot chocolate and a few of those candles that were on your table. Whether you eat your dessert off of the plate or each other, it's the perfect way to end a Thanksgiving Day that was full of romance—and then some.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
The Fall Staples It Girls From Coast To Coast Are Already Wearing
When it comes to trends, It girls lead, they don’t follow. Keeping one finger on the pulse of fashion and the other on their instincts, it’s their innate ability to dress to the beat of their own heart that makes them stand out amongst everyone else around them.
These women are ahead of their time, forecasting what will eventually be adopted by the masses often years in advance. In most cases, buying into trending items is just a by-product of their love of fashion, however, it's never the key ingredient of a memorable outfit.
As we transition from summer to fall, there’s no need to spend too many coins curating a brand new seasonal wardrobe, especially in this economy. Instead of shopping targeted ads, we interviewed fashion-forward influencers to spark our imagination and gather insight on what they’re already wearing leading into the upcoming season. Keep scrolling to get the scoop on essential items these fashion-forward women are looking forward to wearing this fall.
Helecia Williams, Houston
Comfort
Helecia’s style in three words: “Structured, bold, and explorative.”
Helecia’s outfit inspiration: “I am most interested in comfort as a trend. I am truly enjoying the mix of flats with elevated outfits and the incorporation of street-style elements into the looks. I have seen so much juxtaposition that makes the outfits interesting and intriguing. I love the pairing of fitted caps with [suits] and ballet flats. That mashup is impeccable, and we saw some of that peeking through last fall, and now it's taken on a life of its own.
"As a sneaker lover and comfort sneakers, bringing back flats is just a reimagination of past trends with a fresh twist.”
What color(s) is on Helecia’s fall mood board: “Hands down, red! It's such a bold and bossy color. Now, we see it becoming much more accessible in fashion and realize how easy it is to style and incorporate into a look for that extra pop. It also pairs well with so many other shades and tones. Some of my favorite combos are red and burgundy, red and yellow, and red and brown. Even if you aren't fully convinced that it's the color of the season and still have reservations about it, you can go classic and incorporate it in an accessory or makeup like a red lip.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? “I will be returning and recycling all of my 2023 fall wardrobe and just styling it differently or giving it new life. Despite my love for trends, I've curated a wardrobe that I love so I will mix the old in with the new. And not to toot my own horn but a lot of my fashion moments are ahead of the times and still very relevant for this upcoming fall. Expect to see tons of texture, juxtaposition, unexpected color combos, and street style.”
How Helecia is accessorizing this season: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is bold jewelry, particularly in gold. I've realized that accessories can do wonders, and the Schiaparelli era has me shook. I am a ‘Stan’ of Shop Khoi, a Black-owned jewelry brand that creates some of the most amazing, high-quality fashion jewelry. It just sets off any outfit no matter how simple it may be and easily becomes a conversation piece.”
Courtney Blackwell, New York City
Courtney’s style in three words: “Vintage, oversize, and sexy.”
Courtney’s most anticipated fall fashion items: “The fashion item I am anticipating wearing is vintage leather in all colors!”
Courtney's color picks for fall: “Cherry reds, forest greens, and different shades of gray.”
The trend that has Courtney in a chokehold this season: “Skirts! I’ve never been a skirt girly, well mini skirts girly, but I think I’m going to step it up with the minis this fall.”
Shaniqua Jordan, New York City
Timeless
Shaniqua’s personal styling tip for fall: “I hate to admit it, but the one trend that has me in a chokehold this fall is any oversized outerwear piece, especially oversized blazers. And as basic as it may sound, I can't get enough of them. They instantly elevate any look, and they're so versatile, whether I'm going for a polished vibe or something more casual. Plus, they are perfect for layering as the weather cools down.
"I know most people wouldn't typically opt for suede, but if you've been following my style, you know I'm all about my outerwear. I love adding texture to my looks, even if it's subtle, and a good suede jacket does that for me. The soft texture and rich hues of suede add that cherry on top for any fall look. Whether I'm rocking a bomber style in a jewel tone or a tailored trench in a neutral shade, a suede jacket is one piece I'm looking forward to wearing to elevate my fall wardrobe.”
These colors are all over Shaniqua’s fall mood board: “The colors on my fall mood board are rich earth tones like deep browns and olive greens paired with classic neutrals like camel and cream. I'd like to throw in a pop of butter yellow. I know it might seem more spring-like, but I love how it pairs with deep browns, oxblood, and even grays. It's the perfect way to brighten up those cozy, moody fall vibes. I'm also loving pops of bold jewel tones like emerald and burgundy to add a bit of luxe to the season. These shades give that cozy yet elevated feel I'm always aiming for in my fall wardrobe.”
Shaniqua describes her fall wardrobe in three words: “If I describe my fall wardrobe in three words, they would be chic, layered, and timeless. I love combining unique pieces with a classic touch, creating looks that stand out without trying too hard. It's all about finding that perfect balance between staying true to timeless fashion and adding my own signature flair.”
Are you bringing anything back from your 2023 fall wardrobe? "I am definitely an outfit repeater, so not only will I bring back pieces from my 2023 fall wardrobe, but I also have so many oldies but goodies that I’ll be incorporating into my fall 2024 looks. I think that's what really helps convey my personal style; buying pieces I genuinely love and being able to work them into my style season after season. It's all about longevity and staying true to what I love."
Alasia Allen, Los Angeles
Provocative
Alasia describes her style in three words: “Opulent, sleek, provocative.”
The fashion item Alasia anticipates wearing the most this fall: “I’m really into gloves this season. Whether it’s biker style or long, sleek, leather gloves, they add an interesting take to a fall look.”
The fall colors catching Alasia’s eye: “I’m loving navy or a super deep purple this season so I’ll be adding those into my wardrobe. They’re both so sophisticated and a good alternative to black.”
The fall staple Alaisa plans to bring back from her 2023 wardrobe: “Every year, I wear a shearling coat. It’s timeless, it’s warm, it’s my thing. There’s something very elevating about shearlings that have drawn to me year after year, and that’s what makes them my favorite style of outwear.”
The accessory that has Alasia in a chokehold this season: “Boots. I love a good boot as my go-to accessory for the fall/winter season. My favorites are boots that have a little flair to them and an interesting shape.”
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Here's Why Taylor Russell's Red Carpet Style Is Unmatched
Taylor Russell is an actor-model-director-baddie who has quickly become a favorite of fashion enthusiasts. With her unique style and edgy attitude, Russell is making waves on both the red carpet and the streets.
Beginning her professional acting career in 2012, Taylor Russell made her debut in a minor role on the CW medical drama series Emily Owens, M.D. She further showcased her talent in the 2014 Lifetime television film The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story and the Disney XD television film Pants on Fire.
Russell's acting repertoire extends beyond these roles, as she has notably portrayed characters in critically acclaimed films such as Bones and All (2022), Waves (2019), and The Heart Still Hums (2020). Her background in dance has influenced her acting style, and she began acting professionally as a teenager after taking an acting class. With her diverse experiences and impressive performances, Taylor Russell has established herself as a versatile and talented actress and director in the entertainment industry.
Best of all, the Canadian-born actress' red carpet looks are often daring and experimental. She is not afraid to take risks, and she often wears pieces that are unexpected and unconventional.
In her street style, Taylor is more relaxed and casual, but she still manages to look effortlessly chic. She often wears oversized clothing, such as baggy jeans and hoodies, but she always adds a touch of glamour with her accessories. For example, she might pair a simple T-shirt and jeans with a designer handbag and a pair of statement earrings.
Taylor's unique style has made her a muse for fashion designers and stylists. She has been featured in numerous magazines, and she has walked the runway for some of the biggest names in fashion. It is clear that Taylor is a star on the rise, and her fashion journey is sure to be one to watch.
Let’s run back some of our favorite looks that solidify the actress as a fashion icon.
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