

With phrases like "if he wanted to, he would" becoming the default for measuring a man’s interest or intentions in modern dating, I have recently found myself wondering, if he wanted to commit, what would that actually look like?
Through conversations over the years and my own experiences, I’ve come to understand that an intentional man is exactly that, intentional. You don’t have to guess where he stands on commitment because his actions make it clear. What's understood doesn't need to be explained. And any confusion in connections associated with a lack of clarity doesn't exist.
Yet, in many relationships, we instinctively look to men to set the pace. They define the relationship and they decide when to move things forward, from exclusivity to proposals and beyond. But just because we decide to take the "follower" role to them as leaders and operate in the feminine mode of receiving instead of chasing doesn't mean we have to wait in vain.
Vetting the men in our lives is just as important as recognizing their ability to lead in relationships. And if being commitment-minded is a top priority for you, here are some signs to look for in a man who is ready for a commitment.
1.He Talks About Commitment
Undeniably the biggest sign that a man is ready for commitment is that he talks about commitment. But here's the kicker, that commitment talk is grounded in action, not just words. "I want something serious" is followed by consistent movement towards you that doesn't wax or wane due to time passing or a busy schedule.
Some men might start off strong but fade off into inconsistent effort. Others might be love-bombers making grandiose statements early on with no true intention of building something real aside from playing the game. Whether it's planning a trip together, deeper conversations about life, or long-term plans, a commitment-ready man talks about these topics naturally and without force and backs it up by following through.
And that's the sign of a man who is committed. He shows you who he is by aligning his words with steady, consistent actions over time.
2.He Integrates You Into His Life With Ease
A man who is ready for commitment prioritizes integrating you into his life. From making long-term plans to introducing you to his circle to considering you when making decisions, you're not treated like an after-thought, or like someone he only makes time for when it's convenient. He treats you like a priority, not an option.
He doesn't keep you at arm's length, he actively brings you into his world and he follows through with real integration into his daily life. The commitment-ready man includes you and doesn't just sell you a dream of what could be; he shows you through consistent action the reality of what will be.
3.He Shares His Inner World
Vulnerability is a verb and a man ready for a commitment is well aware of that fact. Just as he brings you into his outer world, he lets you into his inner world, sharing things like his dreams, fears, past experiences, etc. He isn't afraid of his vulnerability and isn't afraid to trust you with his emotions. A commitment-ready man is an emotionally available one, so he can also create emotional space for you that is secure enough to support you in bringing up concerns, having tough conversations, and requiring emotional security.
A commitment-ready man also doesn't save his vulnerability for moments of crisis or in a way that's transactional like to guilt-trip you or stop you from walking away. Instead, the groundwork for true emotional intimacy to thrive in your connection is an effort you're both making, even in everyday conversation.
4.He Resolves Conflict In Healthy Ways
All relationships have ebbs and flows, and another truth that people would rather not admit about relationships is conflict is a necessary part of them. I've heard couples who wear their admission about never fighting as a badge of honor. And while I believe what works for you works for you, I also believe in this quote: "A relationship’s strength is measured by how it weathers the storms, not just the sunny days."
Weathering the storm sometimes means there will be conflict, making healthy conflict resolution a necessity in relationships. A man who is ready for commitment knows this. So instead of stonewalling, withdrawing, or treating you like you're crazy for bringing up a concern, he is going to actively work with you to resolve issues together.
A committed man doesn't allow challenges to push him away from you, he leans in. He listens, he genuinely wants to understand your point of view on things, he acknowledges, and he takes accountability when needed.
5.He Is Comfortable Defining Things
If you've ever been stuck in limbo, you know it's not the place to be. Unsettled, unsure of where things are going, second-guessing his intentions for you, and therefore also second-guessing the connection. Whether it's hesitancy or avoidance or keeping things in a perpetual gray area of "going with the flow," a man does those things not because he is unsure, but because he isn't where you are. Otherwise, there'd be no limbo.
A man who is ready for commitment doesn't leave room for your question. His desires are clearly stated, as are his movement towards you and defining the relationship overall. He’s clear about what he wants, he doesn’t shy away from conversations about the future, and he doesn’t waver. Most importantly, he follows through on that clarity because commitment isn't something to avoid, it's something to build.
6.His Love for You Is Proactive and Not Reactive
Not going to lie, I am someone who loves a good love story where the central conflict is the man waiting until the last minute to go "get the girl" in some grandiose gesture where he finally professes his undying love for her. In real life though, I'm so good on that. However, it doesn't stop it from being how some men operate. Some men will only step up their efforts and energy when they feel you've pulled back your energy or have decided to walk away.
Those men suddenly feel a compulsion to try harder because the threat of losing you inspires their action. So then comes the affection, the presence, hell maybe even the presents to show you how much you mean to them. And that can be all well and good if the inspired action is something that's there to stay, but typically it doesn't lead to any long-term shifts.
A commitment-ready man though? He wouldn't wait until you're withdrawing to show you actions that are steady, intentional, and rooted in a desire to nurture the connection and therefore the relationship. His love isn't performative and it doesn't come from scarcity. He doesn't need a dramatic push to show up for you, he shows up for you consistently because he wants to.
Instead of waiting until the last minute to reassure you what is true to him, he makes you feel secure in all ways always. Speaking of which...
7.His Actions Are Secure
Say it with me, commitment isn't about passion or chemistry, it's about stability. How do you feel when you are around this man? Does he make you feel calm, respected, and emotionally safe? Those are the signs of a man whose actions towards you make you feel consistently secure. Plus, he doesn't just wait to pull out all the stops to show you his intentions for you until you're fed up and ready to leave. And that my dear is a sign that you might be dealing with a man ready for commitment.
Unlike emotionally unsafe individuals, love-bombers, or users, the connection isn't riddled with high highs and low lows, shrouded in confusion, or an emotional rollercoaster where a willingness to overly accommodate or great sex blinds you to the glaring incompatibilities. If you're left wondering where you stand or if the slightest bump in the road means he'll pull away, that's a red flag. The man who is ready for you provides security in a variety of ways and does so consistently.
When it comes to matters of the heart, we are all works in progress striving to put that work into practice.
Even so, none of us ever really "arrive" at some perfect place where we have it all together and have it all figured out. We are all learning, growing, unlearning behaviors, and healing wounds through our relationships with other people. The signs above aren't an exhaustive list or a list meant to aid you in seeking perfection in another person. Instead, these signs are more about recognizing indicators of maturity, emotional health, and true readiness in a relationship while navigating the dating scene.
The true key is not to search for perfection in a potential partner but instead to look for consistency. A man who is ready for you might not always get it right, but he will always try. Most importantly, he is the kind of man who makes you feel secure through those efforts. Happy vetting, ladies!
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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There’s caviar, and then there’s Black-owned caviar. With the recent explosion of #CaviarTikTok, this luxury delicacy seems to be everywhere these days. I can’t scroll through my feed without seeing our favorite celebs and influencers diving headfirst into extravagant caviar spreads.
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream
Courtesy of Yasmine Jameelah
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black- and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago-based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Caviar Dream spread
Courtesy of Yasmine Jameelah
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
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