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Why Reesa Teesa's "Who TF Did I Marry?" Saga Is A Cautionary Tale To Single Women Everywhere
Unless you’re living under a rock, by now you’ve heard of Ressa Teesa and her viral TikTok saga "Who TF Did I Marry?!?" My first learning of Ressa Teesa came over this past weekend. I was walking my dog and on my For You feed I came across a popular TikTok account giving commentary on a series called "Who TF Did I Marry!?!" I thought to myself, “What story is this and why is it coming across my feed? Is this some new series on Netflix that I missed?”
Lo and behold it was a 50-part series on TikTok that very well needs to be made into a series about a woman named Reesa Tessa and her story on how she ended up marrying "Legion" whom she calls a pathological liar, how she got away, and shares this cautionary tale and captures the attention of millions of people while doing so.
Who TF Did I Marry, a Cautionary Tale
@reesamteesa Who TF Did I Marry- Introduction #reesateesa #fyp #series
The Backstory
It’s 2020. Reesa Tessa is living in Atlanta and dating online and comes across Facebook Dating - red flag number one because the men I’ve come across on Facebook, honey, run and run fast! But she connects with a man who for the purpose of the story she calls "Legion." In their first phone call, he tells her that he’s a former arena football player who’s moved to Atlanta post-divorce to start over and he asks to take her to dinner. In route to meeting him at The Cheesecake Factory, her tire blows out. Teesa in hindsight realizes this is a sign from God but instead of canceling the date, she calls Legion and he saves the day, shows up to fix her tire, buys a new one, and still takes her on a date.
The first date if you ask me had love bombing on the menu - but again I am not here to judge my good sis. I am just a messenger who did the Lord’s work by watching all 52 parts to recap so you don’t have to. During dinner, he tells Reesa that he wants to be married, have children, and he’s ready to get out of these streets. He’s killing her softly with his words and she feels like she’s finally met the one. This is where things speed up for the worse. COVID lockdown starts and y’all know what they say about pandemic love, it was moving fast honey!
Legion moves into Reesa’s home because he only has a studio apartment despite going on and on about how much money he has. Speaking of money, he appears to be a good man, Savannah. He’s paying all the bills due to a new job where he’s a VP at a condiment company. He is also family-oriented, something they share in common, and he talks to his brother daily. He’s promising our girl Reesa Teesa that he will not only provide, but he will buy them a home, take her to London, get her a luxury vehicle and, in the words of the late great Whitney Houston, be all the man she needs.
She finally has the soft life Black women online have been talking about, she feels like she has the man she’s prayed for. But life comes at them fast and the cracks in the relationship begin to show.
When the "Man of My Dreams" Turns Into "Who TF Did I Marry?"
me when I got to Part 40 of the Who TF Did I Marry series on TikTok: pic.twitter.com/uRjAI9MOdf
— Ron (@ronthacreator) February 18, 2024
A few months in, Reesa gets pregnant and Legion appears to be ecstatic although Reesa, who has grown up with a religious upbringing, didn’t feel confident in being pregnant and living with a man that she wasn't married to. Legion tries to assure Reesa that they will be fine and that he is approved for a $699,000 home and will buy her a house. They begin touring houses too many things are not adding up. He has all this money but he’s living in a studio apartment. He wants to buy her a home but every home they tour when asked for proof of funds he puts up a fight and refuses to show it.
Reesa unfortunately miscarries but is relieved to some extent and discovers that Legion has been lying about the house-hunting process. Determined to see it through, they get married and there is peace in their world for all of two weeks and then all hell starts to break loose. They stop having sex, he starts lying (even more) and she doesn’t know what happened, but she knows something is wrong and wants to get to the bottom of it. Reesa realizes that the lies are not adding up as they’ve toured house after house.
After a conversation with a real estate agent who can sense that something is up and a job application Reesa fills out to go after a new position, she realizes her husband has given her a fake identity. She needs his social security number in order to apply for the job and after some research, she discovers he not only has never been a VP, he has no contact with his family and has not spoken to anyone in years, and he has a criminal record.
She also discovers how many lies he has told. He told her he had only been married once, but found an additional former marriage he kept from her. He told her he lived in California at a point, but never did. He told her he had siblings that never existed, he told her his grandmother died in 2020 but died in 2008, and the brother he spoke to daily did not exist, this man was diabolical. Does she get all the answers she was looking for when she learns the truth? No, but she does discover that Legion is nowhere near a VP but his twin brother in fact is a successful VP who drives a luxury car and lives the life he always dreamed of.
Not only has Legion lied about communion with his family, but she discovers that he has no job, never played football, never lived in California. In the end, Reesa is eventually able to move out of their home, have Legion arrested, get divorced, and start a new life.
The Takeaway
If you’ve watched the series you might have asked yourself multiple times, girl, what TF were you thinking? But there was a moment where Reesa said, “I just thought it was finally my turn” and I realized that Reesa, while she did not fact-check absolutely anything, yearned for love just like many single women. Over 48% of Black women in the United States are unmarried, Reesa Teesa was one of them and she thought this was her chance to leave the single life for good. Did she move too fast? Yes. Did she not she think clearly? Yes. But ask yourself for a moment can you understand that she thought she’d met a man who was the answer to her prayers not knowing he was the narcissist of her nightmares?
One of the main things that you can take from this story is that if something does not feel right, investigate IMMEDIATELY. Keep the people close to you updated when you meet someone new and if the relationship doesn't feel right, leave at the first red flag. Don’t wait for the second, third, or tenth flag - leave at the moment you realize something is off. And lastly, pour into yourself. In a world where we now have women saying healing is a waste of time and you shouldn't take time to learn to love yourself, this is why you need to do the work.
When you learn to love yourself and heal, you tolerate less. You invest in yourself more, and you become a version of yourself that you could have never dreamed of.
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
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It’s funny how a breakup can be the best or worst thing that’s ever happened to you. It has the power to completely change your life, whether it knocks you down or empowers you to evolve. Either way, whatever happens next is up to you. That can feel like a lot of pressure when you don’t even want to get out of bed. But sometimes, all it takes is a moment of encouragement, inspiration, and motivation that you’re not crazy for wanting to send that drunk text or stalk your ex on social media.
But in those heartbreaking moments, you can tap into your inner resilience and strength, knowing that there’s a reason the relationship came to an end. Whatever that is, please trust that whatever is meant for you will be so much better, including the you that comes out on the other side.
This is the perfect time to heal, rediscover you, and open yourself up to love again. Here are 12 books to help you do that and more.
Power Moves: Ignite Your Confidence and Become a Force
Whether you were the initiator or the receiver of a breakup, the end of a relationship can be traumatic. But it can also help you find the confidence you might have lost in the aftermath. Sarah Jakes Roberts’ Power Moves: Ignite Your Confidence and Become a Force reminds you that your true self is worth loving and pulls you out of the status quo that you might have fallen into in your relationship. It lets you know that it’s more than okay to clap for yourself and the growth you’ve accomplished while unleashing your boldness. Tap in!
Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away
Amazon
Nobody wins when the relationship ends. But if we’re honest, many of us want the other person to at least regret the parting of ways. Like, did we matter at all? Natasha Adamo’s Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away talks us off the ledge of trying to prove that we have the upper hand (and quoting Beyoncè’s “She ain’t no divaaa” under anyone’s post that your ex appears to be moving on with).
Instead, Adamo motivates us to focus on our own journey after the breakup because it will be tough enough without being preoccupied with what our exes are doing. You have a whole life after this, and your best days are ahead of you, not behind. You truly win when you decide to walk away from whatever negativity came with the breakup and focus on you. ‘Cause we’re not looking back, sis.
Emotional Self-Care for Black Women
Amazon
One of the best things you can do in this moment is be selfish and think about you. If self-care is a priority in your healing journey, think about diving intoEmotional Self-Care for Black Womenby Alicia Magoro. It takes you through the process of improving your self-esteem, getting rid of negative thoughts, and truly healing from past traumas, each of which is crucial after a breakup. No matter how crazy life is as you try to put the pieces back together, taking moments to truly uncover the reality of your feelings and emotions is essential to your healing.
Break Up With What Broke You
Amazon
I feel like a key step in getting through a heartbreak is cookie dough ice cream, any Shonda Rhimes show, and a box of tissues. But unfortunately *sigh* that can’t last forever. When it’s time to push through, Break Up With What Broke You by Christian Bevere is waiting for you. When you’re ready to overcome the comfort of who you’ve always been, this book helps you evolve into who you’ve been meant to be all along. If you need a book that provides steps with compassion and grace instead of a no-nonsense approach, this is for you (cause who’s trying to get their feelings hurt?)
How To Get Over A Boy
Amazon
‘Cause that’s all we’re trying to do, right? I love the theory of How To Get Over A Boy by Chidera Eggerue because it reminds us that men, or any partner we have, do not belong on a pedestal. As amazing as they may be, you’re just as dope! Eggerue isn’t having you tap into your inner fineness to help you find a man or get a text back with outdated tactics. No, sis. This book is all about reminding you that you are the true prize, and there’s nothing wrong with carrying yourself as such. Yes, wanting to be in a relationship again is natural and inevitable. But for now, it’s also okay to find satisfaction with yourself.
Didn’t See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart
Amazon
All of the signs may have been there, but a breakup can still be shocking. We’ve tried to see the best in our now-ex, and it may have left us holding the bag. Any breakup can be devastating, but if you’re trying to get through a traumatic one, add Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis to your list. The title alone is funny because it’s ironic and true. And in all seriousness, it pulls you out of being stuck in your pain and trauma and encourages you to be a better you when all is said and done. Your breakup doesn’t have to be detrimental to your life. It can be a turning point to help you transition into the woman you never thought you could.
I Almost Forgot About You
Amazon
Isn’t it crazy how after a breakup, almost everything reminds you of that person? From a song that’s shuffled into your playlist and inside jokes to a hilarious viral video on social media, it feels like you can’t escape. Thankfully, our good sis Terry McMillan did her good work with her novel I Almost Forgot About You. No, it’s not a non-fiction book that gives you ways to get through your heartbreak, but it tells the story of a woman named Dr. Georgia Young, who’s going through a transformation of her own to find her inner shero after quitting her job and relocating. The relatable ups and downs she experiences as she bravely takes on unexpected risks can inspire and let you escape for a while.
Sis, Don’t Settle: How to Stay Smart in Matters of the Heart
Amazon
Following our hearts is all fun and games until it leaves us in an agonizing situation. Sis, Don’t Settle by Faith Jenkins gives us a much-needed reminder not to give in to the desire to be in a relationship just to avoid being alone. Whether your ex checked every box on your list or you compromised because you saw potential in what it could be (we’ve all been there, love), let’s decide to not let our hearts or emotions cause us to settle for less. I love this book because it drops the fluff and gives relatable ways to be smart about love, have healthy and loving relationships, and not rush the process.
The Art of Letting Go
Amazon
I read a meme that said, “If overthinking was a sport, I’d be an Olympic gold medalist.” And I felt seen. After a breakup, it’s so easy to replay those final moments in your head over and over again, especially if you were blindsided. The Art of Letting Go: Stop Overthinking, Stop Negative Spirals, and Find Emotional Freedom (The Path to Calm) by Nick Trenton walks you through doing exactly that.
No matter what happened, the brutal reality is we can’t do anything to change it, and mentally running it on a loop does more harm than good, sis. This book lets your mind be a safe place full of peace and tranquility instead of a battle zone. It inspires you to embrace the present without yearning for the past or being afraid of the future.
The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
Amazon
Like many books on this list, The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce empowers you to channel your inner power, rediscover your worth, and flourish like you’ve always wanted. If you’re like me, you might not know where to start after a major (and possibly unexpected) life transition. How do you even begin to move on without sitting in the aftermath for too long?
This book, penned by Rachen A. Sussman, serves as a guide for you to truly heal from the devastation one step at a time. Because it’s okay to take things slow. It features three phases of recovery — healing, understanding, and transformation — providing a clear road map to not just surviving a breakup, but coming out whole on the other side.
I love this version of myself that you brought out: a memoir of a broken heart
Amazon
Can we just take a second to salute the power of a breakup? Whether it sparks your international solo eat, pray, love journey or makes you truly consider what you want in life for you, as horrible as it can be, good things can come out of the parting of ways. I love this version of myself that you brought outby Jaymen Chang gets real about the good, bad, and the ugly, from wishing you could unsend that vulnerable text message, to waking up one day feeling different and ready to move on. Pick this one up when you’re ready to cry it out, process, and enter your season of becoming.
When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal
Amazon
When the dust settles, how are you for real? You may be excited about the idea of using your breakup as an excuse to glow up, or you may be heartbroken and just aren’t in the space to think beyond turning on Mary J. Blige and drinking wine in a bathrobe. And that’s okay. When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal by Brianna Wiest encourages you to embrace the true work of your healing journey. It can be soul-crushing, yet rewarding. With dozens of essays geared toward your process, this book realizes that it doesn’t take one day or one thing to heal.
It’s an ongoing life moment as you recover from the person (or people) who just wasn’t the best for you. As you find yourself again and welcome the things and people who truly love you, you’ll flourish even through the pain.
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