

What We All Can Stand To Learn From Ciara's Prayer For Russell Wilson
It's no secret that for the past few years most of us were dying to get a glimpse of Ciara's prayer. In the wake of the disastrous dating scene, we desperately needed answers, sis. It was evident that God had done it for her, delivered her from Future unto Russell, and we wanted in on the secret. So when Summer Walker released her album and blessed us with Ciara's prayer, it quickly stirred up a frenzy. I went on Instagram and within the hour, at least 20 women I followed had posted it on their Instagram Stories. Let's not even talk about the running commentary ranging from, "I will recite this prayer daily" to "I am going to have it tattooed on me."
While this is commendable that we finally realize that our love lives need Jesus, I felt we were missing the point. That same evening during my quiet prayer time God said to me, "What you need is Russell's prayer in order to see the whole picture." You see we are so accustomed to thinking that women are the only ones that give God their requests for a partner, specifications and all. We forget that just as God is protective of his Queens, he is just as loving and protective over his Kings. God loves his daughters, but if at any point God felt Ciara was not ready to receive Russell, then she was going to have to wait and the opposite scenario would be true.
Both Ciara and Russell had to have a conducive environment within themselves individually and around them in order to envision, manifest and nurture this relationship we now admire. Once I got this, God was like, "I'm not done yet, just so you know the power to deliver what Ciara asked for wasn't vested in what she said. It wasn't her choice of words, her diction, that got the spirit moving." Well, OK so what was it? Stay with me, sis. The following analysis will tell you what you need to know.
Instead of worrying about what Ciara said, our focus should be on what she did to prepare herself for what she had asked for.
Many of us have been where Ciara was, right at the end of ourselves, in pain and in dire need of a breakthrough. It's not enough to decide we want better, we have to do the prep work in order to receive better. Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Please note what is found is a wife, not a girlfriend that can one day be a wife, not a woman who is ready to settle -- a wife! That means you are whole, healed, and secure prior to being found.
Earlier on in March this year, Russell was on Ciara's Level Up Radio on Apple talking about he long had a crush on her way before they met. Russell has been vocal on how he once told someone after watching Ciara's video that he would one day end up with her, yet it was a while before they eventually met at a basketball game in 2015 and started dating shortly after.
They both had preparatory work to do and they were each other's answered prayer.
I feel there is a great misconception that Ciara's prayer (or the woman's prayer) is sent out and God then drags Russell to come along your way. As a matter of principle, at some point, we have had our own version of this prayer. What differentiates Ciara's prayer is that her actions complemented her prayer. She did not recite the prayer and wait for Russell under another man. She did not recite the prayer and check in with God every second business day if any of the eligible men in her peripheral were "the one." What are you doing while you wait?
Are you waiting like we do for online orders? We place an order today and as soon as confirmation comes through, we start tracking. Are you waiting by the door throwing tantrums at the delivery guy for not having that specific package you desperately want? Some of us are missing the work God is doing in other areas of our lives because we become transfixed on that one void in our life.
You are currently living in the realm of an answered prayer from your past. Have you thanked him for that which you already have?
You finally fixed your credit, you finally paid off that student loan, you finally paid off that car note, you finally graduated, you are finally healing, debt-free, you finally got past the childhood trauma, you finally traveled abroad. All of that pales in comparison to your need for companionship?
Ciara's prayer speaks volumes of gratitude. She speaks on being thankful that God hears her pleas, thankful that he hasn't judged her harshly. She is grateful for her son, acknowledging that he is a gift from God. She surrenders her pain but trusts that even the pain holds a valuable lesson for her.
However, what is most profound to me about this prayer is the apparent rapport between God and Ciara.
She attests to the character of God and speaks of his attributes. I don't need to know Ciara personally to confirm this, her words display it. She starts off by saying, "I don't fully understand everything right now, but I know you have great plans for me."
Why yes Cici, for in John 13:7 Jesus says, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." Jeremiah 29:11 (a personal favorite of mine) says, "But the plans I have for you are to prosper you and not to fail you, to give you a future (pun intended) and a hope."
The very act of committing her pain to God tells me she is aware that he is her foundation and her source, but for everything, not just a source for the relationship she is hoping for. Some of us don't realize God has been paying our bills, uplifting our careers, opening doors, and setting our pathways straight. You cannot suddenly relinquish control in one area without allowing access to everything else. Being knowledgeable on the character of God is what distinguishes Ciara's prayer. She knew the abilities of the one she was calling upon.
Ciara knew not only was he able but he was willing to help her navigate through this pain into the relationship she needed.
Please note she didn't ask God to take the pain away, she didn't want to miss the lesson. She didn't ask for God to bring a partner that would heal her or complete her. Furthermore, when it came down to the man she wanted, she wasn't vague about it. Again, she referenced what God himself says about love, what God says about her. It doesn't matter how many times you recite this prayer word for word verbatim, it doesn't matter how desperate you are if you do not yet have a personal relationship with the one you are praying to. Do you know him, do you know what he says about love but most importantly what he says about you?
Ciara really ought to have made a disclaimer that goes like this and is in fine print too, "Here is the prayer but results are sold separately."
Also worth noting she was honest in her surrender to God. She says, "I need you to restore my faith in love, give me strength." Her faith in love had been shaken but she knew God could revive it. In the end, having submitted her pain, confusion, and requests, she ends by stating that she is ready.
All she was asking God to dress her man in, she would have to reciprocate. She would have to compliment the type of man she was asking for. God also wants to shelter his sons. Are you ready for what you are pleading for?
Some of us are not ready but we keep barking for Russell. You don't only become ready by declaring you're ready. Some of us haven't grasped the lessons we need to from our past relationships, some of us don't see what we already have, some of us don't know the God Ciara is speaking to here--the one who heals, the one who is able, the one who restores and the one who delivers.
But the worst is, we won't receive Russell if we idolize relationships. We are pursuing the hashtag baecation more than we are pursuing God. Shanice Lawrence worded this beautifully in her tweet, she said, "Make sure you want God more than you want a man OR ELSE that man will be your god. Desiring the blessing more than the relationship with God is how idols are created." I could not agree more.
So to reiterate, the power of Ciara's prayer lies not in her words, the power lies in the one she was praying to, the relationship they have, and the knowledge she had on who God is. Find out for yourself who he is. Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."
I will stay on the lookout for Russell's prayer but while we wait, wait in gratitude, wait in prayer, go to the source and let him fine-tune you for what is to come.
Stay blessed.
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images
Winnie is a Vancouver-based writer who loves exploring her city, traveling and all things sneaker-related. Although her background is in law and administration, she is on a mission to share the power of faith.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Here's How To Host Your First Dinner Party, According To TikTok's Viral Dinner Host
If you haven’t scrolled upon Olivia McDowell's TikTok famous dinner parties, you may need to reconfigure your "For You Page."
What began as a passion for hosting aesthetically themed meals for her closest friends has quickly become a viral sensation. With an astonishing 12 million viewers, women describe Olivia’s picturesque dinner parties as the “dream girls' night,” complete with classy cocktails, beautiful table settings, elegant outfits, and, most importantly, food plated to perfection.
Seemingly reigniting the feminine urge to host fancy dinner parties, Olivia has perfected the finer details. Overlooking the skyline in her beautiful NYC apartment, she never fails to make her signature handmade pasta dishes while simultaneously looking effortlessly chic in the wardrobe of dreams while doing so.
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @nara0630 what should the theme of my next dinner party be? #minivlog #nycliving #dinnerpartyideas #caviarinnewyork
What I love most about hosting intimate dinners for close friends are the connections and relationships that form over food. They don't require a caviar budget with a high-rise apartment, it just takes determination and a little creativity. Watching Olivia’s journey inspires viewers to be a part of a community of positive and uplifting women who share common interests and tastes in food, fashion, and decor. Simply stated, she’s raising the bar of friendship goals.
If you’re aspiring to host a holiday-themed dinner party this season, check out the four tips that will guide you along the way.
Choose Your Theme
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @emz.life.tsv what was your fav part? 🤍 hope this gives you some inspiration to host a fancy friendsgiving too! #hostingtip #dinnerparty #pastamaking
Set the ambiance with a thoughtful theme, which will indeed be your guiding light for less stress during the planning process. Establishing a theme sets the tone for everything else to fall in place, such as menus, table design, and presentation. For example, a holiday-inspired dinner party is a perfect occasion for elegant all-white decor paired with draped table cloths, pillar candles lit atop luxe holders, floating floral arrangements, and, for a personal touch, handwritten place settings.
Utilizing free resources such as Canva for menu templates and creating a “Dinner Party” moodboard via Pinterest is perfect for gathering dinner inspiration for themes, decor, and recipes for the special occasion.
Simplify the Menu
@oliviaamcdowell How to host your own pasta making dinner party — part 1: pasta making from scratch 🤍 Hosting dinner parties has become my favorite thing to do this year. More goes into it than you expect, the prep, planning, guestlist, tablescape, etc. but it’s always worth it in the end. What do you guys want to see next? #hostingtips #dinnerparty #pastamaking
Don’t overcomplicate the menu. A simple dinner party formula to use as your guide to making sure your guests leave full of food and joy is appetizers, salads, entrees, sides, desserts, and beverages. As a starter, assemble an aesthetic spread that your guest can nibble on while awaiting the main course with starters such as bread, cheese, jam, nuts, and fruit. A simple salad will do, complete with a light dressing right before your entree. For a main dish, pasta recipes always go a long way and also allows your guests to interact with one another, which leads to McDowell's third dinner party hosting tip.
Include an Interactive Element
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @itstai.tv 🥹🖤 #girlhood
To break the ice and encourage guests to get to know one another, introduce interactive elements to the evening. Moments of interaction allow everyone to connect, like capturing content for social media or memorializing the essence of the night through fun Polaroids. Olivia also encourages her guests to participate in the pasta-making dinner process as a group, or if hosting a brunch, her friends indulge in building their own coffee bar as an opportunity for forming connections and conversation starters. Group board or card games are also great for laughs and healthy competition to help get the vibes flowing.
Don’t Forget the Dress code
@oliviaamcdowell Replying to @samantha_mendiz when all of your friends are the main character 🖤🥂 #dinnerparty #nycfashion
Tis’ the season for glamour and sparkles, so why not go all out with a super chic dress code? You can’t have a picture-perfect holiday dinner party without the coordinating attire to match. When planning, make sure to make the required attire specific yet broad enough for a range of personalities and preferences to comfortably partake while looking stunning doing so.
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Featured image by Justin Lambert/Getty Images