
Ask & Ye Shall Receive! The One Prayer Nicole Ari Parker Used To Snag Boris Kodjoe

My best friend and I were having a conversation about prayer one day, and she said to me, "You have to be SPECIFIC with your prayers to God; don't leave anything out!" That really stuck with me, because prior to this, there had been so many times I've prayed or meditated over something, and while sometimes I received what I asked for, most of the time it wasn't quite what I thought I wanted.
I prayed for a new job, but that new job didn't end up fulfilling me. I've prayed for new opportunities, but when the opportunities came, I would often pass on them because, again, they weren't quite right. I even prayed for a new man, and girl, you can imagine how that went since I wasn't SPECIFIC.
The way the dating game is set up nowadays, some of us are out here really trying to figure out the secret weapon that will land us the man of our dreams. We see other couples flourishing and are left to wonder, how did they do it?
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe's relationship reflects the stuff that dreams are made of: beauty, brains, long-lasting passion, kids, and success. The acting duo married in 2005, and for 13 years we've been screaming "#Relationshipgoals." Outside of the obvious, many may have wondered what Nicole did to conjure up such a catch like Boris. So much so, Nicole even responded to one curious commenter in a recent post on Instagram detailing exactly what she did.
The comment read, "Can we get that prayer you said for Boris??!!??" And in response, the 48-year-old gave us all the instructions we need when praying and manifesting the man of our dreams:
"Me: Dear Lord, What should I do?
GOD: Make a list.
Me: A list?
GOD: Yes. Write down EVERYTHING you want. Even the parts you don't want me to see. 😒
Me: okay.
💛
GOD: The spiritual stuff, the heart & mental stuff, the physical and the financial.
💛
Me: 😲umm okay: Loving, warm, WANTS to be a husband & father, Fine 😜, WANTS to provide, mentally, physically and spiritually strong, AFFECTIONATE, curious about the world, likes to travel, likes music, likes history, likes art, likes the theatre, big hands, big feet🤔, sexy, really smart, funny, fun, got jokes, makes the highest & best choices for himself, has that "no-matter-what-I-got-this" spirit cause ish is gonna happen, respects his mother, forgives his father, loves himself and knows God. 💛
GOD: Okay now REALLY take that in. SEE him, FEEL him in your mind. SIT WITH THAT...ENJOY THAT..Now ask yourself.. Is he perfect for you?
Me: (inhales and exhales deeply) Yes..Lawd..I mean Lord. YES.
GOD: Now ask yourself... if he enters the room RIGHT now..Are you perfect for him?
Me: (takes reallyyy long pause).....Proceeds to get mind right & affairs in order, rereads Their Eyes Were Watching God, goes to therapy, examines issues, forgives herself & others, calls parents more often, renews passport, goes to church, does a sit up and goes for a run, dusts off that business idea i had🤔, remembers to laugh, buys nice lotion and rubs it all over body EVERYDAY, then buys some more, stays grateful for all her parts, cherishes friends, dances in her room, balances checkbook, makes green juice, loves herself. (Sidebar: At that point...after all that..i was good either way..happy, confident and moisturized.)
💛 and THEN
here he comes... 💛
GOD: Boop."
Let's break this down:
Write a list
According to Nicole, the first thing God asked her to do was to sit down and write a list--a detailed list describing all of the attributes she was looking for and desired in a man, even the things she might not feel comfortable divulging to others, including the Lord himself. This list included the mental, spiritual, physical, and financial "stuff" that she desired as well as the type of love she wanted to receive.
This list will be different for everyone, but the key is in the details. Are you looking for a provider? Write it down. Do you need all of your love languages fulfilled on a daily basis? Write that down, too. Despite the fact that there has been debate on whether or not having a list of qualities we want in a man is productive or not, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards.
Visualize it
The power of manifestation is real. The best athletes use this method to improve their game. The most successful business consists of people coming up with business plans and vision boards in order to have a visual representation of the future goals. So why wouldn't this work when it comes to manifesting the right man?
Nicole says that God said to her, "SEE him, FEEL him in your mind. SIT WITH THAT...ENJOY THAT." Sometimes we can be so focused on what we don't have, that we forget to focus on what we want. And if you've read anything about manifestation or the law of attraction, you know that if we are focusing on the the things we DON'T want, we just end up bringing more of that into our lives. It's science, people. Picture that man in your mind, feel what it would be like to have him in your life, and then move on to the next step.
Believe it
Many of us are familiar with the Bible verse, "Ask and ye shall receive." But if you actually look up the verse, there's more to it than simply asking. What it really means is that, yes, you have to ask, but you also have to have faith and BELIEVE. You have to believe that you are deserving of that ask. You have to have faith that it is yours, even without it appearing immediately in front of you. That is the very essence of faith. For Nicole, she says God asked her, "Now ask yourself.. Is he perfect for you?" We have to be willing to understand that the perfect man for us is really out there, and have faith that he will be presented to us when the time is right (trust me I know, THAT is the hard part).
Work on you
So you've got your list, you can feel this man in your soul, and you know he's on his way. Now what?
Well, if you've read any type of dating advice, then you've heard it time and time again: work on yourself while you wait. Nicole says that God was straight up with her when He said, "Now ask yourself... if he enters the room RIGHT now..Are you perfect for him?"
To be "equally yoked" means that we have to be willing to be more like the person we would want to come into our lives.
Nicole did all of the things she had been putting off, and tied up those loose ends we all have. She made more time for the people and things she loved, and with that, began to love herself more and more deeply. In the end, this is the key advice that many of us have a hard time following through with. I know, we all have schedules and drama to deal with, but when we take the time for self-care and self-reflection, the only thing left to do is grow more in love with ourselves. And like Nicole, you may even find yourself "good either way...happy, confident and moisturized." Issa win-win.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-06/22/16/enhanced/webdr04/anigif_original-22422-1435006571-8.gif?downsize=800:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto&ho=https://img.buzzfeed.com&s=456&h=f76f627caff303e3ae17d03fa669956a64b07d585308ced94884361cb0fa5174&size=980x&c=2793620773 image-library="0" pin_description="" caption="" photo_credit_src="https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Fbuzzfeed-static%2Fstatic%2F2015-06%2F22%2F16%2Fenhanced%2Fwebdr04%2Fanigif_original-22422-1435006571-8.gif%3Fdownsize%3D800%3A%2A%26output-format%3Dauto%26output-quality%3Dauto&ho=https%3A%2F%2Fimg.buzzfeed.com&s=456&h=f76f627caff303e3ae17d03fa669956a64b07d585308ced94884361cb0fa5174&size=980x&c=2793620773" crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-06/22/16/enhanced/webdr04/anigif_original-22422-1435006571-8.gif%3Fdownsize%3D800%3A%2A%26output-format%3Dauto%26output-quality%3Dauto%26ho%3Dhttps%3A//img.buzzfeed.com%26s%3D456%26h%3Df76f627caff303e3ae17d03fa669956a64b07d585308ced94884361cb0fa5174%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2793620773%22%7D" expand=1 photo_credit="media.rbl.ms"] media.rbl.ms
"And then he comes."
Boop, said God. Won't he do it!
I'm ready to try this, ladies. What about you? Have you prayed about your dream guy? Do you have a similar experience? Let us know in the comments!
- Why Praying For Your Husband Doesn’t Work And What To Do Instead - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Boris Kodjoe Nicole Ari Parker Marriage Spiritual - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Boris Kodjoe Says Your Partner Should Make You 'A Better Human' - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Boris Kodjoe & Nicole Ari Parker Casually Shows Us How To Keep The Fun In Marriage - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Boris Kodjoe (@boriskodjoe) • Instagram photos and videos ›
- Boris Kodjoe (@BorisKodjoe) | Twitter ›
- The Truth About Boris Kodjoe & Nicole Ari Parker's Love Story ... ›
- Boris Kodjoe Talks Fitness App and Prioritizing Wife and Kids ... ›
- Boris Kodjoe & Nicole Ari Parker play “Liar, Liar” | Lip Sync Battle ... ›
Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
One of my favorite things to do is kiss. In fact, kissing is so important to me that I once stayed with someone longer than I should’ve, in part, because he was such a good kisser (to the point where I can confirm that “kissing orgasms” are a real thing) and I also once broke up with someone because he absolutely sucked at kissing (ugh). Kissing is sexy. Kissing is sensual. Kissing is intimate.
And science says that kissing can boost endorphin levels in your body; reduce feelings that are associated with stress and anxiety; elevate your immunity; help to lessen allergy-related symptoms; soothe headaches and period cramp discomfort; make you horny (yes, literally), and even decrease your chances of getting cavities.
Yes, kissing is a good thing. A really good thing.
Oh, but as someone who is turning out to be one of my favorite philosophers (Aristotle) once said, the excess of a virtue can indeed turn into a vice — and as far as kissing is concerned, that can prove itself to be true in a way that some may have thought was nothing more than an urban myth: getting STIs (sexually transmitted infections)/STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) from doing it.
Yep, if you heard somewhere that you can get an STI/STD from puckering up, there is indeed some truth to that, so please take a moment to read more about it. That way, you can finally separate fact from fiction.
Bottom Line, Yes…You Can. However, the Risks Are Relatively Low.
Honestly, if you let it sink in that a kiss that lasts for longer than 10 seconds will result in about 80 million bacteria being exchanged, that alone should cause it to make all of the sense in the world that a kiss isn’t something that should be taken as casually as a lot of people do. And although, when it comes to STIs/STDs, it is far easier to transmit them through penetrative or oral sex, the reality is that there are some that can you get via saliva or the mucous membranes that are in your mouth (although infected saliva that is on something like a sex toy makes your chances much lower because STIs/STDs tend to “deactivate” once they are exposed to the air).
And since “low probability” doesn’t mean “absolutely not,” I think we should look into which STIs/STDs could become an issue whenever you go in for a smooch vs. the ones that you don’t really have to concern yourself with at all.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN Get from Kissing
So, here’s the deal: If you happen to have a cut in your mouth or you’ve got a cold sore, that can significantly increase your chances of being exposed to an STI/STD if your partner happens to have one. Which ones am I speaking of specifically?
- Herpes (more specifically, HSV-1)
- Syphilis
- Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
- Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Now something that’s important to keep in mind about three out of four of these (herpes, CMV, and HPV), is that, although they are very treatable, they currently don’t have a cure. As far as the one that does have one (syphilis), it’s important that it’s discovered and treated in its early stages; otherwise, it can lead to things like weight and hair loss, infertility and, if ignored for too long, it can even become life-threatening.
I don’t know about y’all but, to me, this all sounds like valid enough reasons to be cautious when it comes to who you share your mouth with.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN’T Get from Kissing
Okay, so what STIs/STDs does science say you don’t have to worry about when you’re kissing someone?
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Hepatitis
- Trichomoniasis
- HIV
- Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
The reason why is because these are all things that are spread through oral, anal, or vaginal sex acts (however, they can oftentimes be asymptomatic, so if you are sexually active, please make sure to get tested no less than once a year). That said, if you do happen to have one of these STIs/STDs, please show courtesy and respect to your partner by letting them know — even if sex isn’t currently on the table for you.
Although research does indeed say that kissing doesn’t put them at risk, they still have the right to decide if they want to move forward with intimacy, of any kind, while these health-related issues are being treated.
5 Ways to Reduce Your Chances of Getting an STI/STD from Kissing
Okay, so now that you can confidently separate what you should actually know (and take to heart) from what you may have randomly heard that couldn’t be further from the truth, if you’re curious about what you can do to decrease your chances of getting an STI/STD from kissing, I’ve got a few tips:
Take kissing seriously. Grandma said don’t put your mouth everywhere and she’s right. In a world that continually tries to gaslight us into thinking that we can (and damn near should) just do whatever with whoever without consequence, as you can see, that’s simply not true — especially when you take into account how wild it is that most of the STIs/STDs that you can get from kissing don’t have a cure.
Moral to this story: Your mouth is as valuable as every other part of your body. It is a privilege to kiss it, so please act accordingly. Oh, and don’t be afraid to ask about people’s sexual health status before letting them put their tongue all up and in your mouth. You know what they say — an ounce of prevention is always gonna be worth a pound of cure (or treatment).
Practice intentional oral hygiene. Hopefully, brushing and flossing on a daily basis are a given. What I mean here is you should look for signs of cold sores, cuts, or lesions in your mouth (including a blister that you may get from a burned tongue) on a weekly basis. If any of these are evident in you or your partner, it’s best to wait to kiss (if you haven’t BOTH recently been tested).
Y’all be careful with all of the sexy biting. Speaking of open wounds (relatively speaking, anyway), although I once read that, according to the Kama Sutra, biting lips while kissing is a sign of strong desire and sexual arousal, it can also leave cuts that could make you more vulnerable to getting sick. So, on this one, enter with caution. Straight up.
Don’t kiss when you’re feeling under the weather. Mono, colds and the flu, COVID-19, stomach viruses — these are some of the other things that you and your partner can give to one another while exchanging a kiss. Since some of the symptoms that are related to these may mimic some that come from an STI/STD, it’s best to not kiss when you are sick — not until you can confirm what you have and (preferably) the symptoms have passed.
Get tested on a regular basis. The only way that you are going to know for sure that kissing is a low-risk behavior for you and your partner is if you both get tested. If you’d prefer to do it from the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your own home, there are STI/STD tests that you can have sent to you (like the ones here, here, and here). They aren’t necessarily the cheapest in the world, yet they are pretty darn accurate and can give you the peace of mind that you seek.
____
Listen, I am Team Kissing just as much as the next person. However, whenever I stop to think about all that goes on in a mouth, I thought it was important that you become aware as well. As I said earlier, a good kiss is pretty incomparable. Let’s all just make sure that we leave kisses better and not worse off after experiencing them — literally and figuratively.
Amen? I’m sayin’.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Vera Vita/Getty Images