Boris Kodjoe & Nicole Ari Parker Put Spiritual Practice First In Their Marriage
When it comes to relationships and spirituality, I think back to a very specific conversation I had in the past with my boss—of all people. I was in Denver for the week, on a business trip, and we were out to lunch. We somehow got on the subject of relationships, which at that time, I absolutely was exiting a 'dodged bullet' type situation. And actually, as I sit here telling this story, I can't believe that I was talking about my love life with my boss—a blonde haired, blue-eyed 30-something-year-old woman, who I knew nothing about outside of our working relationship.
But she gave me some advice that stood out to me then, and still stands out to me today. She said, "If you want to be in a relationship, talk to God about it. But you have to mean it. And really mean it. Because He'll know if you don't."
And listen, there was nothing particularly groundbreaking about what she said, after all, we hear this kind of stuff all the time. But it was her conviction that I'll never forget. And because oftentimes spirituality and relationships often go hand-in-hand, perhaps I needed her conviction to understand the importance of what she was saying.
No one understands alllllll of the above better than our favorite longtime married couple, Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe. Nicole and Boris are marriage goals in the culture. Their commitment to each other and their family is unmatched, and they are happy to share their journey with us all. They don't thrive on being perfect, but instead, putting in the work and maintaining what they've built for almost 15 years.
The couple aren't strangers to addressing the spirituality of their marriage, as Parker famously shared the prayer she recited to snag her husband. This prayer consisted of a list of everything she was looking for in a spouse, from his looks to his (quick)books. The actress then recalled how God led her to include spiritual, mental, physical and financial attributes on her list. However, things turned around when she had to reflect upon herself if she would be the perfect wife for the man on that list if he entered her life at that moment.
The rest went down in relationship spirituality history.
She continued for Kodjoe:
"We don't have to fight about the things that we used to fight about anymore. We solve arguments. I mean, our relationship—everyone's always joking about how it's driving them crazy. But we actually, like I said, have been able to appreciate each other more. I just think also with everything that's coming at us through the news, that it can be so overwhelming. I've really learned how to have faith, be resilient, and think of solutions."
A solid marriage with effort—and spirituality—to back it up. We stan.
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Featured image via s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy