What if the man of your dreams was right around the corner, and only waiting on you to fall in love with yourself, first?
God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes, His plan requires a lot of heavy lifting on your part. While He is our protector, provider, comforter, and salvation, faith without work is dead. Expecting to find love when you don't love yourself is also, dead AF. Recently, R&B singer Ciara took us to church in her most recent interview with Angie Martinez where we learned that doing the work can sometimes mean learning to love the woman staring back at you in the mirror.
Since Ciara and Russell Wilson got married in 2016, single women everywhere have been scouring the church pews in search of the fateful prayer the 33-year-old "Level Up" singer said in order that to secure the man of her dreams, and sis finally gave up a sip of the proverbial tea.
The Beauty Marks singer explained that after her very public breakup with her ex-fiancé, she feared that the world would view her as a failure. It was at this point that the mother-of-two discovered that to love herself, she had to uncover some bad habits and stop them in their tracks. She explained:
"There's a moment of reflection where you look and you have to say okay, 'what am I doing?' There's something I'm doing that's consistent. And if you keep doing the same thing over and over [it] is insanity."
The next time you blame God for not sending you the man of your dreams yet, check yourself first. Along with finding the power to love herself, Ciara said that she also had to master the power of discernment and adjust accordingly.
"If you keep running into a roadblock or like, the wall, at some point in time you gotta go, okay something has gotta be a little different here. I've gotta do something different. That's just real, right? Especially when you want to grow, right? You gotta be real with yourself. I was really real with myself and I think it was also because I was ready to be at a certain place. Cause sometimes we're not ready for where we're supposed to be, we're not ready for where we're about to go."
It wasn't until she found the courage to stop seeking a partner and focus on herself that Ciara was able to truly discern the qualities that she wanted in a man.
"When I started to get myself centered, I started to understand the power of loving myself. I had to commit to that idea. Let me love myself, let me get myself in the right place so that I can love myself. If I love myself, I believe I can get the love that I deserve."
Rome wasn't built in a day and really, truly loving yourself won't happen overnight. When you know better, you do better, and Ciara was willing to set aside four single years to get to know herself the best she could.
"I was really ready to take my time and be patient and let love fall in place the right way because I deserve something new, I desire something different. I deserve to be loved to the highest capacity, and to be loved the way I deserve."
Although Ciara says that there was no one prayer that led her to Russell, she explained that she was very specific in her requests to God about her husband-to-be.
"I prayed for a God-fearing man. I prayed for discernment. I prayed for wisdom - to really learn from the wisdom that I've gained from the experience I'm going through. I prayed for a man that loved kids because obviously, me having my son if you love me, you gotta love him. I prayed for a man that was worldly as well, because I love to explore, so someone that's going to edify my world is important to me. I was ready to level up."
And level up, she did indeed. Russell and Ciara are constantly doting on each other like the adorable rich aunt and uncle that they are, and Ciara says she was only able to discover this euphoric happiness because she stopped praying for what she wanted and started asking God for what she needed.
"I did pray for what I needed, too. That's important. We can want love, but what does that mean? I think we have to be really specific about what we're attracting to our lives, because love can look different in different scenarios and with different people, and that's why I think you have to be specific."
Ciara's advice for snagging you a Russell is simple. Do the work and the rest will come. Ciara said that doing the self-work before she met Russell allowed her to truly open her heart to what she felt she deserved. She explained:
"It's the power of manifestation. You can taste where you're about to go, you can taste what you want, you can taste what you need, you can taste what you deserve. And you don't like the taste of what's not right, and you can feel it in your body. So for me, I was committed. It was like no more of the same habits, no more of this feeling again."
Check out Ciara's full interview with Angie Martinez below!
Ciara Explains The Meaning Behind Her Many Prayers For a Husband + Loving Herself Again youtu.be
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