When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?
I'm big on pampering. Unapologetically so too. When you think of all that it takes to be a Black person in this country and also a woman in this country, why shouldn't we make the time to indulge ourselves a little bit? Problem is, I know far too many women who barely get a facial, massage or mani/pedi, let alone set some moments aside to pamper their vagina. Yep. I said it. Pamper their vagina.
It might sound a little strange at first that there are things that you can do that will "treat your vagina with extreme kindness or luxury". Still, believe it or not, it is possible. Today, I'm gonna share 10 effective, affordable and super self-gratifying ways to help you to do just that. Make sure to send this to your girlfriends when you're done. I'm pretty sure they could use this very important info too.
1. Give Your Vagina a Massage
If the first thing that came to your mind with this one is "I mean, I masturbate", that is not really what a vaginal massage is all about. There is literally something that is called yoni massage therapy that focuses on releasing physical and emotional blockages. Some people refer to it as vaginal mapping which I actually wrote about last fall (check out "Why 'Vaginal Mapping' Needs To Be Part Of Your Healing Journey"). Very similar to standard massages, you can pay to have a professional one done or you can do it yourself. Either way, taking out the time to gingerly caress your vagina, simply for the sake of releasing stress that might be built up in it, is one of the best ways to pamper your vagina, hands down.
2. Get into Some Specific Yoga Positions
Yoga does a lot of things. It de-stresses. It increases strength and flexibility. It puts you into a better mood. It relaxes you. It helps you to sleep better. So, it makes perfect sense that partaking in it would benefit every part of your body, including your vaginal region. In fact, there are certain positions that specifically can improve the overall health and well-being of your va-jay-jay. If you'd like to know what some of them are, so that you can try them out from the comfort and convenience of your own house, check out Health Shot's article that features six vaginal-focused yoga positions right here.
3. Wash Undies by Hand in Fragrance-Free Detergent
Did you know that there is some fecal matter in washing machines? Not only that but any time something germ-filled is put into a load of laundry, it tends to spread to 90 percent of the rest of the clothes that it's in the wash with. This is reason enough to hand-wash your undies. Start by using some sort of antibacterial fabric spray on your underwear (if you'd prefer to go the DIY route, there's a great recipe here). Spray your panties with it (especially the crotch area) and let it penetrate for five minutes or so.
Then, soak your underwear in really hot water. Once the water is a comfortable enough temperature for you to touch it, wash your panties in some fragrance-free detergent and rinse thoroughly in warm water when you're done. All of this will help to get rid of infection-causing bacteria without irritating your vagina in the process. (By the way, if you want to "super sterilize" your panties, you can always iron the crotch on low heat once they are clean and dry.)
4. Also, Keep Some Fragrance-Free Wipes in Your Bag
Whether it's because you use a menstrual cup or you simply want to freshen up throughout the day when you're not at home, it can never hurt to keep some fragrance-free wipes around. They are oftentimes better at thoroughly cleansing your vagina without removing any of the natural moisture that it needs. Just make sure that they are fragrance-free. Otherwise, the wipes could upset your vagina's pH balance and lead to a vaginal infection up the road.
5. Make Yourself a Monthly Period Basket
There are two ways to look at your menstrual cycle—like something that you should dread every month or something that you can use as a time to pamper yourself. My recommendation is to go with Door #2. Stay with going to a local arts and crafts store to pick up a basket (one that you would use to make someone else a gift basket) along with some cellophane and a bow. Then, on a monthly basis, put things into it like—chamomile tea (it soothes abdominal discomfort) and/or raspberry leaf tea (it reduces uterine contractions); dark chocolate (the potassium eases cramps); clove essential oil (it reduces excessive pain and bleeding); avocados, pears, berries, bananas and popcorn (fibrous foods reduce bloating); turmeric powder (it's a natural painkiller); a bottle of sparkling water (the more hydrated you are, the less blood clots and backaches you'll have); a magnesium supplement (it'll ease your uterine muscles while giving you more energy); a favorite snack (it'll comfort you); some fresh flowers (just because); a DIY lavender spray for your bedding (to help you sleep more soundly. You can check out an easy-to-make recipe here), and a fresh pair of period panties (Thinx's Hiphugger Period Panties are currently all the rage). Knowing that there is something special awaiting you can definitely make you feel better about, well, the inevitable (your period, chile).
6. Install a Bidet (or a Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment)
Talk about pampering. There used to be a time when, if the topic of bidets came up, we'd assume the person who had one was rich. I get why too because the cost of one combined with the installation fee tends is oftentimes somewhere between $1000-1500 (on average). That doesn't mean it's not worth every penny, though, because bidets are able to keep your vaginal area, your butt and your hands cleaner (which reduces the spread of urine, fecal matter and bacteria overall). Another benefit to them is they can significantly reduce your chances of having hemorrhoids while also helping to keep you from getting bacterial vaginosis. Plus, since bidets eliminate the need for toilet paper, they are good for the environment too.
If money is tight and you can't afford to install a bidet right now, the next best thing is to invest in a bidet toilet seat attachment. It's basically a sprayer that you can use as a "handy" bidet. The Spruce has a list of some fairly affordable ones. You can check 'em out here.
7. Soak in Some Apple Cider Vinegar
We honestly could write an entire article on what makes apple cider vinegar so dope. When it comes to the topic at hand—pampering your vagina—it's great because it's able to keep the pH level of your vagina (which needs to be somewhere between 3.8-4.5) in balance. That's why it's good to soak in if you've got a yeast infection or something to do once a week for mere "upkeep" purposes. The powerfully potent antiseptic and antibacterial properties can soothe inflamed skin, reduce vaginal odor and cleanse your vagina without irritating it in the process.
All you need to do is get some apple cider vinegar (make sure it contains the mother; the mother makes it unrefined and unfiltered). As you're running your bathwater, pour one cup (two cups if you've got a yeast infection or BV) of the vinegar into it and soak for 20 minutes or so. While you're soaking, definitely make sure to avoid bubble baths that contain lots of chemicals. If you want a few bubbles to create a certain mood, combine a half cup of distilled water with a half-cup of castile soap, one-fourth cup of vegetable glycerin and 15 drops of your favorite essential oil. Pour it under running water and you'll be all set.
8. Try a Little Fur Oil
If you're someone who, when it comes to "landscaping" down below, you prefer to shave and yet you haven't found a way to prevent ingrown hairs (remember not to shave against the grain; doing so can definitely cause them), you might want to pamper your vagina with a little bit of Fur Oil. It's an oil that's specifically made for pubic hair that contains ingredients like grapeseed oil, jojoba oil, clary sage and tea tree oil. Aside from helping to prevent ingrown hairs and soothe the ones that you already may have, this oil also has a great reputation for making pubic hair feel really soft. I won't lie to you, there ain't nothin' cheap about it (it's currently $46 for a couple of ounces). Still, the reviews are pretty spectacular and, at the very least, this might inspire you to cop a couple of the ingredients I mentioned and make some conditioning oil of your own (heads up, you can probably find it on other sites for a little less too).
Oh, I almost forgot. If you wouldn't dream of spending this much money on some vaginal oil, a hack that can help to keep your vagina—well, your vulva since it's the outer part of that area—from feeling itchy and irritated after shaving is to rub some fragrance-free deodorant onto it right after you shave. It has a way of soothing and bringing (semi) instant relief too.
9. Make Sure the Condoms Are “Super Vagina-Friendly”
Unless you are in an exclusive long-term relationship where you both get tested and you're on some form of reliable birth control (unless, of course, you want to conceive a child), when it comes to sex, there's no way around the fact that condoms are the way to go. However, have you ever thought about if the ones that you've been using are super vagina-friendly or not?
The reality is that a lot of rubbers contain chemicals like casein (which can throw off our hormonal balance); glycerin (which contains sugar and can sometimes feed yeast); benzocaine (which can trigger vaginal inflammation and dryness) and, nonoxynol 9 (which can inflame your cervix, vagina and rectum). All of this is, yeah…not good.
I know you're probably not used to reading condom labels; however, now you see why it's a good thing to do. As far as condoms that are good for your va-jay-jay, Lelo Hex is one brand you might want to look into (it's made out of natural latex and has a silicone lubricant in it). Lovability is a natural latex rubber that is hypoallergenic and gets a lot of praise too.
10. Wear a Clit Clip
One more. I know some people who got their clitoris (or clitoral hood) pierced before. And while they can personally vouch for the fact that it has made their clitoris more sensitive to the touch in some of the best ways possible, they've also said that the piercing process itself is not even close to being a walk in the park. That said, you're not a big fan of pain yet you would like to "dress up" your clitoris from time to time, there are clit clips that you can wear that require absolutely no piercing at all. Two that I thought were kinda cute are on Etsy's site (here and here). I mean, we are talking about pampering, right? Why not doll "her" up a bit once you've done everything else on this list? Look at it as the vaginal pampering 2.0 way to go.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy